30. Evangeline
Chapter 30
Evangeline
T he nipple piercing glints in the dim light like it’s waiting for me. I circle it with my tongue then bite his nipple gently. When Phoenix hisses, I do it again, this time also tugging a little at it.
Moving back, I stare straight at the tattoo over his heart. The compass tattoo. No matter how often I told myself it couldn’t be true, here’s the proof. Staring straight back at me. It bears a striking resemblance to my pendant, but it’s so much more than that. Not just bigger but also more fleshed out. The details of the lines and arrows are amazing. Magnificent. Like him.
One day, I’ll ask him about it.
But that day is not today.
Yet I can’t help myself and press a kiss right in the center of it.
Phoenix groans, his erection hard against my stomach, distracting me enough that I trail my way back down his torso .
I kiss him over the fabric of his dress pants, gliding my nose up and down the length of his hard cock.
And there’s a lot of it.
“Eve, I . . . fuck.”
At first, I thought we’d go at each other like starved animals, and he’d just take me right there in the bathroom. On the counter, on the floor. I didn’t even care as long as I could have him.
Something happened today when I heard that melody in my head.
It’s like it unlocked a part of myself I wasn’t privy to for the last three years.
It was hidden under a mountain of guilt and regret so big it wasn’t strong enough to fight its way out.
Now, it’s like a veil has been lifted in front of me.
I almost died two weeks ago. We almost died two weeks ago.
And I’m tired of holding back, of missing out. I’m not sure what this is between us, but I know he’s the reason I feel more complete and alive than I have in so long. And I want more of it. So much more. I want all of it. All of him.
Unable to wait a second longer, I undo Phoenix’s belt and zipper and push down his pants along with his boxers, gasping when his cock springs free. The urgency from earlier returns, and I lower my mouth on him without any preamble.
“Fucking hell.” The noises that escape Phoenix are my new brand of aphrodisiac.
My corresponding arousal pulsates deep in my core.
His hands go into my hair, brushing it away from my face and holding it back in one fist.
I can’t get enough of him. The sight of him in front of me. His large frame towering over me, his big cock in my mouth, so hot and smooth. His fist in my hair. It’s such an intoxicating combination my clit buzzes.
“Eve . . . fuck . . . stop.” He pulls at my hair.
My scalp sears in pain when I try to move forward on his cock.
“Sorry, but I need a minute. It’s been a while.” He lets go of me and steps back.
His cock springs free from my mouth, and he closes his eyes to take several deep inhales. I watch in amazement. He appears almost as affected by me as I am by him, like I’m his undoing just as much as he is mine.
My heart thumps wildly at the possibility.
Despite wanting to test his restraint once again, I lean back and sit on my feet. A whimper escapes my lips when I accidentally graze my clit, and his eyes immediately zone in on me.
He sweeps his thumb over my cheek, then my lips. “Look at you being such a good girl and waiting patiently.”
“Phoenix.” I seem unable to do anything but make noises and say his name.
His previous words finally filter through my haze. It’s been a while. Did he mean what I think he meant?
“You haven’t . . . all these years?”
It’s hard to bring up that time in his life. Regardless of how things happened, the fact they did happen will never change.
He rakes a hand through his hair. “No.”
“Me neither.” The confession slips out of my mouth before I think it through. I’m not sure I wanted him to know, but I can’t take it back now.
To say he seems shocked is an understatement. “You didn’t have sex the entire time I was gone?”
I shake my head, my lungs constricting. “I was too afraid something might happen to the person I got involved with.”
“Angel.” He pushes me back to the mattress and blankets me with his body. And then, he just holds me.
I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him as close as possible. Soaking in his warmth.
When I worry I might suffocate him, I lose my death grip.
He looks at me in a way no one besides him ever has. Like I’m something precious, something to be marveled at. For the first time, I feel cherished. I feel beautiful. I feel wanted.
My pulse quickens, and I whisper, “Kiss me.”
He swallows loudly. And then he’s right where I want him.
His lips are soft against mine as we both savor the contact. When his tongue enters my mouth, it’s unhurried and gentle. This is, without a doubt, the most reverent kiss I’ve ever experienced, and against all odds, I hope it won’t be my last.
Never being kissed again the way Phoenix kisses me right now would be an utter tragedy.
Despite my loud protests, he withdraws from my lips. I tilt my head to the side, exposing my neck like an offering. Unable to keep my eyes open, I close them and just feel. His lips slide down my throat and collarbone until he devours my breasts with the same detailed attention he did earlier. My entire body buzzes.
One hand rolls my nipple. A shot straight to my core. He descends farther, circling my belly button. Nipping at my underwear.
“Lift your hips for me, Angel.”
And I do, openly watching him. He grasps the corner of the lacy material and drags them off so slowly, I want to scream.
“Now open your legs and show me that perfect pussy.”
I obey and he groans in response, not waiting for a single heartbeat. He lowers himself on the mattress and licks me once from my entrance to my clit.
I bow off the bed, moving against his mouth as he sucks on my tight bundle of nerves. Something akin to static electricity blasts through my entire body.
“Oh my God.”
Fragments of an impending orgasm light up everywhere while he continues to test what I like, using his lips, tongue, and teeth in ways I didn’t know were possible. He adds one finger, then two, pumping in and out of me. Rubbing that mysterious spot inside me I’ve only ever read about in books. And I’m done. I can’t hold on any longer, my world exploding into a thousand sparks.
“Phoenix.” I come with his name on my lips and a moan so loud, I’m not sure I can ever face anyone in this house again.
He pulls his attention away from my clit and kisses every inch of surrounding skin, lazily working his way back up my oversensitive body. I want to crush him to me, tell him to hurry, but I don’t think I have enough energy left.
He’s finally within reach, and I grab for him. Our lips touch in a searing kiss, and I taste myself on him .
“I want you inside me right now.” I wrap my legs around his hips and push with the bit of strength that’s left.
I gasp when his head slides in.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Phoenix stares at me with a painful expression. “I need . . . fuck . . . condom. I’ve never?—”
I swallow. “I’m on the pill. So if you’re okay with it, I’m?—”
His lips crash on mine. I think he’s trying to give me time to adjust to his considerable girth and length. But his control seems to slip halfway through, and he thrusts in all the way.
I gasp into his mouth, and he stills, mumbling, “Shit, baby, I’m so sorry.”
He starts to pull back, but I cling to him.
“I’m okay, I’m okay. Just give me a moment.”
“Fuuuuck, you’re so tight.”
I want to point out it’s probably more because he’s so big, but who cares? I’m deliciously full, and it’s the best feeling ever.
“Okay, I think I’m good.” I dig my heels into his ass.
I’m aching for him to move, and he finally rewards me with unrushed deep thrusts. A gasp escapes me every time he bottoms out and his pelvis hits mine.
My hands find their way back into his hair. Pressing into his scalp. I don’t know if he can feel my next orgasm build, or if it’s his own, but our kisses become more demanding.
He thrusts faster, harder. “Shit, you feel so good. I can’t hold on much longer.”
I say, “Then don’t,” and kiss him with everything I’ve got.
Either the words or actions spur him on because his movements become almost punishing, and I love every second of it .
He releases and groans loudly, triggering my orgasm.
“Jesus Christ, Angel, that was?—”
He half collapses on top of me, and I don’t mind one bit, muttering a weak, “Yeah” as we both try to catch our breaths.
Phoenix rolls us to the side and tucks me against him, pressing his lips to mine in a tender kiss.
“That was so much better than I ever imagined it would be.”
His words sink in, and I swallow. “You’ve imagined us together?”
Phoenix chuckles. “Only a million times since I first saw you.”
I should be flattered, euphoric even, that it was never one-sided like I thought, that I didn’t imagine our attraction back then. But all my brain can think about is I’m responsible for him missing out on three years of his life. He’ll never get the time back, and his past also still haunts him in his dreams. The knowledge chokes me.
“Hey, what’s the sad face for?” He brushes my hair back and cradles my cheek.
“I don’t know how you’ll ever be able to forgive me for what I did.” All the strength I felt earlier, all the bravado and positivity are suddenly gone. I feel more like my old shell again, those nasty thoughts infiltrating my piece of happiness and smashing it to smithereens.
Phoenix blows out a breath. “I was so angry with you when I found out you were the reason I was in prison. Absolutely livid. I channeled that into rage and plans for revenge. Although, I think deep down inside, I knew you’d never do something so callous to me. But it was easier to hate you than to deal with the pain.”
Agony blooms in my chest.
“Listen,” he pauses. “We both have a shit ton of baggage to work through and to disentangle, but I want to do that with you by my side. There’s nothing to forgive. We both drew the short straw, and the only person who deserves forgiveness is you from yourself.”
He touches his forehead to mine and clutches me to him while I fall apart.
“Plus, I would have never met Holden and his ugly ass otherwise.”
Unable to help myself, I chuckle.
He wipes away any remaining tears and stares into my eyes. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.”
I sniffle. “I’m really sorry for what happened.”
“I know you are, baby. But you didn’t have a choice, and I’d never resent you for what happened now that I know the truth.”
I sniffle.
He chews on his lip for a moment. “And you know what? I was able to think about this a bit more levelheaded lately, and I realized something. Whoever is behind those messages could have just made the call himself, so I probably would have ended up in prison regardless.”
My lips part at the revelation, and Phoenix chuckles.
“Between the two of us, or three if you include Holden, we could probably keep a therapist occupied full time.”
“I can’t even tell you how badly I wanted to talk to someone about what happened. When I first told you, this huge weight dropped off my shoulders, and I wanted to weep in relief. It didn’t take away my guilt or shame, but I guess there’s a reason why people say talking is the best therapy.”
He bumps his nose against mine. “And I’m always here to listen. But I’ll look for someone who can be discreet if you want?”
I nod the second the words are out of his mouth. “I’d like that.”
“Consider it done. Anything you want, and it’s yours. Just say the words.”
My head is spinning with everything that’s happened today. So much, so fast. I feel it’ll take a while to catch up, but I’m okay with that. Because, apparently, we’re in this together.
Phoenix presses his lips to mine but doesn’t linger. “Now you better get some sleep while you can because I’m not done with you yet. Not for a very long time.”
To emphasize his words, his fingers leave my cheek to trail down the length of my body.
He squeezes my butt, and I yelp in surprise, trying to wiggle my way away to head to the bathroom. He follows close behind as I cross the room and lean into the shower to turn it on. Before I can step back, he grasps my hips and tugs me flush against his erection. I close my eyes and moan, moving against him without shame.
Being intimate with him, physically and emotionally, is my new safe space. The one place where I don’t need to think and can get lost in our bodies and how he makes me feel.
His hand snakes around my middle and between my legs, rubbing my clit in lazy circles. The buildup isn’t as fast this time but not any less potent. He pushes me forward with a hand on my back, and when I’m right on the edge of falling over, he thrusts inside me, taking me out of my head and to new places I haven’t visited yet.
“Fuck, you look so good on my cock.” He grabs my hair and yanks my head back so our gazes meet. “I’ll never get enough of you, you hear me?”
Thrust.
“You’re mine.”
Thrust.
“And I will kill anyone who dares to take you away from me.”