Tangled in Vows (Tangled & Torn #2)

39. Holden

Chapter 39

Holden

Day 1416 without you: Some days, I tell myself you’ve forgiven me. On other days, I know you never will.

I love you.

I love you.

She loves me.

Those words still reverberate through my mind the next day, never letting up. They are the words that allow me to open my eyes in the morning. And not only that, but I even do so with a slight tilt to my lips because Olivia is in my arms.

She pushed away the dark clouds that usually follow my every waking moment of this day, whether I want them to or not. She makes everything better, even the hard days like today.

My sister’s birthday.

Every year, it hits me anew that she’s not here anymore, but it also gets slightly easier as time passes. My emotions shift similar to water, fluidly filling crevices too small to see at first glance yet large enough to feel their impact.

But now that Olivia is back in my life, maybe I can finally focus on healing. My years in prison, away from Olivia, had me almost paralyzed on this day, as well as my sister’s death anniversary. At first, I tried to solve my problems by getting in trouble with other inmates or the guards, talking shit, or starting fights. Anything to distract me from the painstaking guilt my mind was feasting on. And the guilt was two-fold at that point, not just over my sister’s untimely death but also over failing Olivia and leaving her behind.

Things got better when I met Phoenix and we became friends. Because of his billionaire status, he had connections that made life behind bars easier for us. Special meals. More time outside. A better environment. Inside protection. Phoenix also saw past the burning anger in my eyes. We spent most of our time together, sharing our stories, which gave me something else to focus on, other than my own screwup. Something steadier to hold on to because I wasn’t alone anymore.

The years behind bars didn’t break me the way they might have done otherwise. His companionship and our conversations reminded me I was still myself and not just another number in the system. It kept me tethered to the man I was before.

He helped me shoulder enough of the darkness to stay out of trouble and focus my energy on working out and spending time with him instead.

Now, things feel different.

The pain is still trying to eat itself through my insides, but it isn’t the only thing filling my veins anymore. My feelings for Olivia have spread quickly and forcefully, almost daring me to stop them. She’s everywhere, soothing my hurt and filling the hollow places inside me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Irene would have loved her.

Unable to help myself, I tighten my grip on Olivia, needing that reassurance as memory snippets of my sister rush through my mind.

The way she took me somewhere every time one of Mom’s boyfriends was visiting. How she stayed with me until I fell asleep, even when the men visiting Mom called me pathetic. Irene always took the spot closest to the door to protect me, in case someone came in. She also let me bandage her wounds to get me to stop crying by pretending I was the doctor.

“See, little monkey, all better. You’re a fantastic doctor.” She points at her forehead and the dinosaur bandage I put right where she hit her head on the doorframe after Derrick, Mom’s new boyfriend, pushed her. “Thanks for the help. I’m as good as new.”

She wipes under my eyes and whispers, “What do you think about trying cherry today?”

Every time Irene gets a booboo, we get one scoop of ice cream and share it, trying a different flavor. The ice cream place has over fifty flavors, and we’ve almost tried them all.

I nod and wipe my crusty pajama sleeve under my nose.

My mom called her foolish and used other choice words. To me, she was an angel, doing everything in her power to protect me from our crappy life. I wish I also could have bandaged all of the wounds she didn’t show me, the ones that were deeply rooted on the inside. Maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe not.

Olivia sighs quietly, and my guilt over waking her is quickly replaced by my need to see her—to keep her close by and to settle my inner storm. The warmth of her presence fills the cracks that once ran deep, making me feel like I’m coming together a bit more each day. Having her around allows me peace in a way I’ve never known before.

“Good morning.” Her voice is raspy, filled with sleep.

I ignore the underlying worry I hear. Instead, I diminish the few inches separating us and press my lips to her neck. “Hey, beautiful.”

A shiver runs through her at the contact, and she places her hands on mine and squeezes.

“What do you think about having a relaxed movie day today?”

Her question doesn’t surprise me. Neither does the fact she didn’t forget the meaning of today. She never forgot. I could always count on her.

And look where we’re at now.

I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of her fruity shampoo. “I love you.”

Although I said those three words back yesterday, I’ll never get tired of saying them. Just like I’ll never tire of hearing them.

For a moment, there’s only silence before a teary-eyed Olivia faces me. “I love you so much.”

She practically throws herself at me, burying her face in the crook of my neck. I hold her, enjoying her nearness more than I’ve ever enjoyed anyone else’s.

“Are you okay?” she whispers next to my ear.

“I am.” And it’s the truth. Maybe it will hit me later on, but for now, I am okay. Especially with Olivia by my side. “But yes, a movie day sounds perfect.”

“Good.” She smiles at me. “Let me shower quickly, and then we can head downstairs to the movie room.”

My hands slide down her back to cup her ass. “Only if I can join you in the shower.”

Olivia’s breath hitches at the contact. “As if I could say no to that.”

We get out of bed and walk to the bathroom, hand in hand. I take my time undressing her before showing her without words how much she truly means to me. I worship her body until she comes on my tongue before filling her with lazy strokes.

When we enter, the movie room is dim. It’s already set up, with blankets piled on the couches and large trays with food and drinks next to them.

“There you are.” Archer jumps up from his seat and walks toward me.

His hug is tight and welcome. I slap his back several times until he lets go and steps back.

We share a silent look, and I give him a quick nod to convey I’m good.

He nods back and focuses on Olivia. “You can sit with me or this big oaf.”

His thumb points at me, but Archer’s carefree attitude does the trick, as it so often does. Olivia laughs, and the corners of my lips tilt up a fraction too.

She leans her head against the side of my arm, her hand back in mine. “I think I’ll stick with the big oaf for now, but the day is still young.”

Archer pouts. “Fine, be a party pooper. The first Rocky movie is loaded and waiting for us, and the food should still be warm for approximately two more minutes, so let’s dig in.”

It takes one glance to confirm he’s talking about the vast array of food from the same fast-food chain I go to every year on my sister’s special days—the same restaurant where I joined Olivia the day we met.

I pull Olivia down on the oversized couch Archer isn’t occupying, just as my phone buzzes in my sweats. I check the screen, and the group chat with Phoenix and Evie shows several new messages.

Phoenix: How are you holding up?

Evie: I’m so sorry we can’t be there today. I should have rescheduled the concerts.

Phoenix: If we leave now, we can still make it back before the day ends.

The dots are bouncing at the bottom, so I quickly type a reply.

Me: No need.

Me: You’re staying right where you are so our Princess can perform the concerts she’s supposed to. I expect videos the second she finishes her performance tonight.

Evie: I hate we’re not there for you today.

Me: I’m okay, I promise.

Me: Olivia, Archer, and I are settling in for our Rocky marathon.

Evie: Pictures, or it didn’t happen.

I let out an amused huff but comply, taking a quick picture of Archer on the other couch and a selfie of Olivia and me.

Evie: Well, that’s cozy. Can’t wait to be back and hear all about what’s been going on.

Phoenix: Is Archer wearing my shirt?

I look over at Archer and the “I like my men morally grey” shirt and press my lips together.

Me: Yes?

Phoenix: Tell him he’s a dead man.

Evie sends several laughing emojis.

Evie: Archer told Phoenix he lost it after he “borrowed” it.

I turn the phone to Olivia and show her the messages, smiling widely when she laughs at the exchange.

Me: Maybe I shouldn’t tell him then. I don’t want to ruin the surprise.

Phoenix: Fine.

Evie: They’re calling me for my sound check. You guys have a good day, okay? Let us know if you need anything.

Phoenix: Say the word, and I’ll call the pilot. The plane and crew are on standby, and we can be there in six hours.

Evie: Say hi to the others. Love you. And tell Olivia the new song she sent me is absolutely amazing. More notes and fangirling will follow soon.

Phoenix: And keep me updated about the meeting with Zeno tomorrow. Whatever you need is yours.

Me: Thanks, guys. Love you.

Evie sends a heart GIF, and I turn off the screen with a sigh. I know Archer and Olivia are here with me, but I do miss seeing Evie and Phoenix as often as we used to. Between Evie’s career taking off and Phoenix often using their trips to scout out more possible locations for our Foxhole Foundation, they’ve been jet-setting all over the country and globe.

Olivia bumps my shoulder with hers, watching me with big eyes. “All good?”

I nod, glad she interrupted my thoughts. Turning to Archer, I tilt my chin toward the large screen at the front of the room. “Let’s get started.”

“You got it, baby.” And then, in true Archer fashion, he opens his mouth and yells, “Adrian!” at the top of his lungs.

I take one of the fries and throw it at him, hitting his temple.

We all laugh as the opening sequence plays.

When the credits of the fifth movie roll, I check my phone to see it’s past midnight.

Another year has passed. Another day has started. Another chance to make good choices.

Love you, Irene.

Olivia and Archer are passed out, and I leave the latter but pick up Olivia to carry her upstairs to our bed. The lazy click-clack of paws behind us lets me know Stormy is following, ready to go back to sleep. We took her outside between the movies, but after she ate her dinner, she settled in with us for good.

After lying Olivia on top of the sheets, I pull off her leggings, groaning once I see she isn’t wearing any underwear. I’m glad I didn’t know, or movie time could have become awkward.

I lower her T-shirt, cover her with the blanket, and join her.

Even in her sleepy state, she immediately snuggles against me.

With her in my arms, it’s easy to forget someone’s out there who wants to harm her. But the worry never stays away for long, terrifying me. Olivia is this beautiful soul, this resilient person. What could she have possibly done to deserve this?

Since the charity concert is in a week, we need to find the answers to all those questions very soon.

Hopefully, tomorrow’s meeting with Zeno will shed some light on the situation. We need something; anything that’s not waiting around without a single lead because that’s been torture. At this point, I’m not sure if I want to bury the guy who’s responsible for all of this shit at first sight or make him suffer first.