Chapter 19
19
SOPHIE
S ophie felt claustrophobic the second Gavin shut the door behind him. The room was small, with antique furnishings, but it wasn’t the space that bothered her. Her heart was beating too fast, her head swimming. That outburst of a confession, that he had broken her heart, was true. She’d spent months after that encounter at the Palladium so depressed she barely got through her classes. The worst part was that she had hoped every day for Gavin to make some effort to reach out to her. She’d even had elaborate fantasies that he might track her down and just show up somewhere in her life like she did to him. But he never did.
Gradually, she put him out of her mind and moved on. But then Rogue came to her city once again.
One minute she and Gracelyn were talking about going to a party to celebrate the end of finals, and the next minute the radio in the background caught their attention. Sophie had tried to pretend disinterest but her friend would have none of it. Before she knew it, Gracelyn had coaxed out of her a brief description of how the name Rogue came to be.
She’d never intended to reach out to Gavin again. Not after how he had treated her last time. Despite her belief that he had been putting on an insensitive rock star attitude for show and that he couldn’t have really meant to be so cruel, she knew the bottom line was that whatever they had was over.
But hearing his pleading voice over the phone had felt so good, so reminiscent of the boy she had known. And she had come close to being seduced by it. But after the adrenaline rush faded, she realized she had no desire to set herself up to experience a repeat of the casual arrogance he had displayed at the Palladium. Especially not in another backstage scenario with groupies and other hangers-on watching the spectacle.
It wasn’t hard to sort out that the band was staying at this well-known hotel. Gavin was a rock music aficionado and would have been curious about its history of wild escapades from the likes of Led Zeppelin and Jim Morrison of The Doors. She had called and asked for Gavin’s room and was put through without delay. The band wasn’t big enough to need false names.
And now she was here, in front of him. To what end? Why hadn’t she just not shown up at the festival? The answer was obvious to them both as they locked eyes. He closed the short distance between them. Her heartbeat quickened all over again and her breathing went shallow. The heat of mutual desire was palpable.
“This heart,” he said, his voice husky and seductive as he brushed his fingertips over the bare skin just above her breast. “If I broke it, I want to mend it now.”
Sophie shivered with the tickle of his touch and caught him trying to hold back a smile. She took a step back.
“I may have been waiting for you at your hotel room, but I’m not your groupie. Don’t insult me with a line like that.”
His face fell but she saw that her words had reached his core. He took a step back and had the decency to look embarrassed.
“This is why I didn’t want to see you in the mix of all the ‘rock star’ stuff. I know things have changed, but don’t forget that I know you.”
He looked away from her, to windows that were only partially covered by sheer curtains. The bright city lights shone through, and the Sunset Boulevard traffic was a constant hum.
“At least,” she continued, “I know who you were. I don’t know the person I saw last time. I guess part of why I came tonight is to find out why you were like that. With me. Me , Gavin.”
He looked back at her and she could see him pulling up a wall around himself. His body lost its natural fluidity and his eyes lost focus.
“I’ll admit I was a bastard. Okay? I was just caught up in the whole scene we’re in now. It’s a fucking head-trip, suddenly being catered to for any little whim. I guess I’ve gotten carried away with it. I’m sorry.”
She eyed him but he didn’t continue. “Is that the best you can do?”
“Fuck’s sake. I’m sorry, Sophie. What more can I say?”
“I guess that’s it.” She nodded while at the same time blinking back tears. There was nothing else to say. That spark, the magic they had shared, hadn’t just faded. It was dead.
“No, don’t go,” he said when she took a step toward the door. “Sophie,” he said, desperation in his voice, “you broke my heart too. You broke it first.”