Chapter 48
48
SOPHIE
S ophie went to the deck railing and could just make out Conor’s figure down at the beach. He was standing ankle deep in the water, smoking what she knew was not a cigarette.
It was futile to wait for a break in the rapid-fire conversation to tell Gavin she was going to take a walk, so she simply slipped away unnoticed.
“Hey,” she said as she came upon Conor.
He was slow to respond, his eyes trained on the water. “Hey.”
“What are you doing?”
“Em, well,” he said, and then laughed. “I don’t know if I’m higher than I’ve ever fucking been or what, but I could swear I saw bits of neon blue sparkles in the water out there.”
Sophie was tempted to tease him but opted instead to help him understand what he saw.
“You did see it. It’s bioluminescent phytoplankton.”
“What are you on about?” he asked with a laugh.
She laughed too. “No, really. Christian was just telling us that they had a swarm of it a couple of days ago. Apparently, they’re tiny plants and they bloom if a colder current gets pushed up to the surface in warm climates. We missed the best of it. He said the whole surface of the water was glowing bright blue, and he even went surfing in it and came out looking like Tron.”
“Fuck me. What a trip.”
“Yeah.” She watched the ebb and flow of the water for a few quiet minutes. It seemed the marijuana didn’t make him chatty. “Hey, let’s see if we can find the spark.”
“What’s that?”
She hiked up her sundress and fell to her knees. “The spark. Christian said the phytoplankton can live for up to a day in the sand and that if you dig in the wet part you might see a spark of light. That’s them.”
Digging with both hands, she stared into the small hole she was making. When a tiny spark flashed, she laughed out loud. It lasted less than a second but was a thrill nonetheless.
“That’s madness,” Conor said and moved to his knees beside her.
Soon they were both digging and pointing out sparks to each other and laughing excitedly. After a time, they stopped digging and worked to catch their breath.
Sophie moved toward the drier sand and started pushing it into a small, slightly inclined mound. Then she made another next to it. She stretched out, using the mound as a sort of pillow, and gestured for him to do the same.
Conor settled next to her and they looked up at the sky. The moon was a sliver and the stars shone brightly without nearby city lights to dim them.
“It’s amazing here,” she said with a sigh.
“You know any constellations?”
“Hmm . . . Big Dipper?”
“Can’t quite see all of it in this hemisphere,” he said softly.
“Oh, yes. Of course, you’re right.”
“Look there,” he said, and pointed.
She followed his direction but wasn’t sure what he was indicating.
“See those four?” He pointed at four spots and the pattern of a giant square became visible to her eye. “It’s part of Pegasus. The winged horse.”
“I see it!”
“The story goes Pegasus was formed when a few drops of Medusa’s blood fell into the sea and mixed with the foam.”
“I never knew that.” She glanced at him, but he was still looking upward. “What else do you see?”
“How about that one there, the very bright blue one?”
“God, you can’t miss it, can you? Not once you’ve actually focused on it.”
“It’s called Vega, and it’s that bright because it burns something like six or seven times hotter than the sun.”
“Amazing.”
“That intensity means it’ll burn out that much faster, though.”
“And then what?”
“It’ll die.”
“No, don’t die Vega!” she pleaded, only half joking. “I’d miss it.”
“Well, when stars die, they don’t really go away. They sort of reincarnate. Their material creates other space formations.”
Sophie turned on her side, resting on an elbow so she could look at him. “How do you know so much about this stuff?”
He glanced at her, then back at the sky. “I can be clever.”
“You’re more than clever, and you know it. I wish you wouldn’t hide this part of you so often.”
Now he moved so he mirrored her pose and watched her with eyebrows raised.
“It’s like you pretend to be just the ‘rock star’ always chasing girls, but there’s so much more to you.”
“But I am a rock star and I absolutely adore chasing girls.”
“You’re also smart and thoughtful and caring.”
“Ah, Gavin’s the sensitive one in the band. There’s only room for one,” he said with a smirk.
“Be serious,” she said and touched his arm.
She saw him look down at her hand and linger on the connection. Before she could process what he was doing, he leaned toward her and pressed his lips to hers. She was stunned motionless but aware enough to think his kiss surprisingly sweet and gentle.
It only lasted two seconds before he moved away and jumped up, pulling her with him in a rush.
“Feel like a dip?” he asked.
“What?” She was confused. Confused that she hadn’t been the one to pull away from his kiss. And confused by his sudden change of mood. After sensually, albeit briefly, kissing her, he was now … playful?
“Water’s warm—even now,” he told her and without warning, he scooped her up and over his shoulder.
Sophie screamed in protest, but quickly collapsed into a fit of laughter as he swung her around teasingly, going knee-high into the water.
“You throw me in and I swear to God you’re coming with me!” she said.
“We’ll see about that,” he replied.
As he attempted to hurl her back over his shoulder and into the water, she wrapped her foot around the back of his knee, buckling his leg so that he came crashing down on top of her. He ended up pressed between her legs and they both laughed for a moment. When they grew quiet, he met her eyes and she saw the desire there.
Locked into his gaze, she felt the heat between them. For the first time, it wasn’t just him wanting her.
He was gorgeous and sexy as hell. There was no denying that she was attracted to him.
And there was no denying that he could see she felt that way. He was watching her with a small, knowing smile.
When he moved to kiss her again, he only got as far as brushing his lips against hers before she put a hand to his chest to stop him.
What was going on here? So what if they were attracted to each other? That didn’t mean something would actually happen between them. She knew that. Didn’t he?
“Whatever attraction you have for me—it’s not going to happen,” she said. This declaration was as much to herself as to him but she couldn’t admit that to him. “Okay?”
His laugh was dismissive as he stood up. “Honey, relax. I was just messing. Too much drink. Too much weed. You know, you were chatting me up, so I acted like I was falling for it. Didn’t know you’d take it so serious.”
That flustered her, made her unsure what to think. Had she read too much into the situation? She stood up and glanced at him. His white cotton V-neck shirt was wet and stuck to his skin, molding to the defined muscles of his pecs and abs. With a quick glance down at herself, she realized her wet sundress was plastered to her body in the same provocative way. The difference between them was that he was sporting a noticeable bulge at the crotch of his blue and white board shorts.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, and let him know with her eyes what she had discovered. “Just—no more. Okay?”
He moved toward her and said softly, “I’m really sorry, Sophie.”
He seemed sincerely embarrassed, and she just wanted this to be over.
“Don’t worry about it,” she told him quickly. “Let’s go back to the house.”
He agreed and they walked silently together. But when they got close enough to hear the music and the voices straining to rise above it on the deck, he steered them toward the front entrance. After a moment’s thought, Sophie realized he was right to want to hide the fact that they had jumped into the ocean together at three in the morning.
Inside, they separated and went to their own bedrooms. Sophie showered and crawled into bed, her head swimming. She tried to think about everything rationally.
Okay, so what if she was attracted to Conor? And a little curious about what might be different in being with another man. Wasn’t it normal to feel these things? Especially at her age and with no other relationship experience?
The bottom line was that the sexual attraction she and Conor apparently shared was inconsequential compared to the reality she had with Gavin. Her commitment and true desire was for Gavin and Gavin alone. He was a skilled and attentive lover, and could leave her body trembling from the intensity of her orgasms. He was all she needed. Her confidence in this was complete by the time she drifted off to sleep.
Still, when she woke an hour later as Gavin climbed into bed, she immediately reached for him, eager to prove her devotion.