Tangled Up In You (Rogue #1)

Chapter 70

70

SOPHIE

A s Sophie receded farther into the corner of the room, she watched all the beautiful people around her with detachment. It had taken Gavin a half-hour to convince her to go to Jackson’s party with him, as she hadn’t been remotely interested in a splashy social event after the altercation with the photographer. She had finally relented when Gavin explained that he desperately needed to have some pure and simple fun and that he was sure this party would be the perfect solution. And so they made their way up above Sunset Boulevard to Hillside Avenue, where Jackson’s stunning mid-century modern home perched over greater Los Angeles.

And as soon as they arrived and were greeted by Jackson, Gavin’s mood did lighten noticeably. He fell into his naturally sociable self and was quickly surrounded by a group of new friends. Watching him reminded her of the way he’d held court in the hallways of school. He was naturally charismatic, yet he never fully understood how engaging he was, how much people revered him. He always greeted the worshipful fans at their shows and the people who showed up at their house to get a glimpse of him with such openness, never putting himself on a different level. And Sophie knew that attitude made him all that more special of a person.

Jackson broke up the gathering to whisper into Gavin’s ear. Gavin responded with a nod and excused himself, walking across the length of the open room toward the kitchen. Jackson then approached Sophie before she could see what Gavin was up to.

“What’s the most beautiful girl in the room doing sitting so quietly?” he shouted to her over the thumping bass of the latest dance song being spun by the DJ.

Ignoring his typical flirting, she told him, “Great party.”

“You’re lying. For that, you owe me a dance,” he insisted, and pulled her by the hand so she stood with him.

She laughed and allowed him to lead her to an open space outside on the patio. He pressed his body to hers, touching her with unnecessary intimacy before segueing into an uncoordinated freestyle excuse for a dance.

What he lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm, and she found herself laughing and having fun. After the song, he offered to get her a drink. The outdoor bar was out of the sparkling water she craved, though.

“Come with me to my enormous kitchen, love, and I’ll get you a drink,” he shouted to her as the pulsating music continued.

He led her by the hand and the crowds seemed to part reverentially for them. As they entered the large and airy kitchen, she saw Gavin sitting at the marble island bar. There were several other men with him, one of whom casually cleared something from the countertop before she could register what they were doing.

“So, my dear?” Jackson asked. “Don’t you want something … harder than fizzy water?”

She laughed. “I’ll take some red wine along with the water if you have it.”

Gavin grabbed her hand and pulled her to him so that she stood between his legs.

“Where have you been, darlin’? It feels like it’s been ages, you know?” He spoke rapidly, his words almost running together as he failed to take a breath. “God, I missed you. Don’t leave me. You won’t leave me again, will you?”

There was laughter from the group at Gavin’s quick cadence, but it didn’t seem funny to Sophie. She cupped his face in her hands and looked into his eyes, even as they darted around the room. His pupils weren’t right. They had the same look she had seen in the eyes of certain models and other industry people.

“What have you been doing, baby?” she asked, her heart racing because she already knew the answer.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Don’t you worry. I got it all under control and I feel good for the first time in a long time,” he replied.

She hesitated, wanting to believe him. But then he rubbed hard at his nose and she knew with complete certainty that everything wasn’t “under control.”

“Gavin, no,” she said, and shook her head. “Don’t do that. It’ll only make things worse.”

“No, Sophie. The only thing making it worse is me doing nothing but thinking about it. I’ve been paralyzed by all this shite. I need a fucking release from it or I swear to God I’ll go mad,” he said, speaking rapidly. “I need an escape. I know it’s only temporary, I know that. But I feel so much fucking better right now, darlin’. I can’t begin to describe how good I feel now. Can’t you allow me that? Don’t you want me to feel good?”

“That’s not fair,” she said quietly, aware they had an audience. “You can’t ask me to say this is okay.”

“Sophie,” Jackson interrupted, “it really is pretty harmless. Don’t panic about it.”

She glared at him, now suspecting that he had danced with her as a distraction so that Gavin could get high on cocaine. Then she saw the large glass of wine he had set before her and she picked it up, taking several gulps to down it. She was furious and hurt and wanted to mirror Gavin’s recklessness in the only way she could. With an empty stomach, the alcohol went almost immediately to her head and she regretted her childish act of defiance.

“So? We okay?” Gavin asked, oblivious.

“Just tell me it’s a one-time thing. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Of course it is.” He took her hand and kissed it.

She looked at the two guys who had gotten him high. “You better take care of him,” she said as forcefully as she could, before turning on her heel and rushing to the nearest bathroom where the red wine came up.

As she sat on the cold tile floor of that small guest bathroom, she was shocked to think of what had happened. Gavin had experimented with cocaine—and other drugs—before, but it was obvious that he was playing with it in an entirely new way. She knew with a sinking certainty that him trying it now, amidst his depression and desperation, was exactly the wrong thing to do.

And for all intents and purposes, she had just given him permission.