Tangled Up In You (Rogue #1)

Chapter 74

74

SOPHIE

S ophie pulled on a pair of thin sweatpants and a well-worn men’s V-neck tee shirt before joining Conor in the living room. The fire he had built was the only light in the room, making for a romantic feel.

“Now that’s a look,” Conor said as he came from the kitchen with a bottle of champagne and two flutes. “No, really. I think that makeup looks perfect with that outfit. What were you doing with the whole designer dress thing?”

She laughed. “I should take it off but I suddenly feel completely lazy.”

“Well then, have a seat before you drop.”

There were large pillows near the fireplace for the exact purpose of cuddling up in front of it. She arranged a few and relaxed before the warmth of the glowing fire.

Conor set down the champagne and glasses and then joined her. He had taken off his shoes and socks but remained dressed in jeans and a crisp white button down shirt.

“What’s with the champagne?” she asked as she accepted a full glass.

“That’s all the alcohol there was. Sounded good, anyway.”

“Yeah. Tastes good.” She put her half-empty glass down and settled deeper into the pillows.

They were silent for a long moment, both staring into the fire.

“So, tell me about Felicity. Is she okay?”

“You know Felicity, she’s a tough one. I think the hardest thing for her is that she honest-to-God thought it was going to be forever.”

Sophie watched his profile. “I bet she was glad to see you.”

“Well, I took her mind off things for a short time. Wasn’t fucking easy with Colette calling at all hours, though.”

“She thinks you were in love with Felicity once upon a time.”

“I don’t know where she gets her notions.” He downed his champagne and settled into the pillows beside her.

“You told her you had only been in love once, with someone you couldn’t have.”

“What does it matter? Why should that matter to the person you’re with now?”

She turned on her side and faced him. “I guess it only matters if the person you’re with now thinks some part of your heart is still with someone else.”

Now he turned on his side to face her too. After a moment of silence, he held up a finger to tell her to give him a minute. He then got up and disappeared briefly. When he returned, he had a dampened washcloth and a small bowl of warm soapy water.

“Sit up with me,” he said softly.

She looked at him curiously but did as he said. And when he reached out and brushed her hair away from her face with his fingertips, his touch sent a thrill of expectation through her body.

In the next few minutes, he gently removed the makeup from her eyes and face, careful not to rub too hard or let water drip.

“There. Now I can have a proper conversation with you,” he said with a small smile.

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said softly. The tenderness he had shown was something she hadn’t seen from her own husband in too many weeks.

“Nothing to it.” He patted the pillows and they resumed the position of lying on their sides and facing each other again.

“Conor,” she said.

“Sophie,” he returned, with mock seriousness that made her smile.

Undeterred, she said, “Tell me who you were in love with. Who would turn you away?”

“If I’m not telling Colette, I’m certainly not telling you.”

“I guess that’s fair,” she said and suppressed a yawn.

He reached out and stroked her hair, letting his fingers fall all the way through the long silken strands.

“That feels good,” she said sleepily as she closed her eyes.

“You,” he said quietly. “You know it’s you.”

She opened her eyes with a start. “What did you say?”

“I was in love with you for a very long time, Sophie. You know that. You have to have known that.”

The intensity of his deep blue eyes never wavered as he watched her response. For so long she had convinced herself that all he had felt for her was a basic sexual attraction. To think that it was anything more would have generated too many questions.

“No, I didn’t …” She trailed off.

“No?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and took his hand away from her hair. He closed his eyes.

She waited for more, waited for him to open his eyes and explain himself. But he didn’t, and his breathing began to grow steady. What struck her most were the times he could have tried to seduce her, the times when she was vulnerable after a fight with Gavin and he had been there and let her cry on his shoulder. But he hadn’t made a move since that kiss on the beach in Australia. That was almost ten years ago. He had always looked after her, let it be known that he cared for her. Now she moved closer to him, wanting to be as tender and sweet to him as he had been to her for so long.

He stirred then and wrapped his arm around her waist, folding her to him so that her face lay perfectly in between his neck and shoulder.

“Conor,” she said in a whisper, “did I do something to lead you on?”

“You didn’t have to, honey. All you had to do was be yourself,” he replied easily.

She hesitated, struggling for the right words. “Did I hurt you?”

He resumed playing with her hair. “All the time. You broke my heart a million times, Sophie. But you made it whole a million times more.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You didn’t deserve that.”

He was quiet so long she wondered if he had fallen asleep, but his slowly moving hand in her hair told her he was still awake.

“No, I’ve gotten what I deserved. I’m not sorry.”

“What does that mean?”

“Shh,” he said, before kissing her gently on the lips.

She found herself returning his brief kiss, and when he pulled away and finally looked into her eyes again, she saw what he had been trying to hide. His eyes revealed pure adoration for her. She was the one to lean in and kiss him next.

The kiss was tentative and gentle. It wasn’t born out of passion, but of tenderness. But she knew that if they went any farther the sentiment would quickly change and lust would overtake them.

Conor was the first to pull away. He got to his feet and held out his hand to her. “Time for sleep,” he said.

She took his hand and stood with him. “Do you want to sleep with me? Just sleep? Or is that a really bad?—”

“No, it sounds lovely,” he said with a nod.

They held hands as they went to the guest bedroom she was using. Without turning on the lights, she pulled back the duvet and slid into bed. Conor didn’t bother to take off his shirt or jeans as he followed her into bed, and they held each other in the same effortlessly comfortable manner as they had in front of the fireplace.

Lying there with his arms around her, Sophie felt safe and cared for. There was no denying that she was drawn to him, to his steadiness in contrast to Gavin’s unpredictability. And to his genuine friendship. After all these years, she was also just as attracted to him as he seemed to be to her. Her mind raced until the steady rise and fall of his chest lulled her to sleep.

Sophie felt only warmth and comfort and security that night. And when she woke to find Conor beside her, she was happy.

He lay on his back, one arm thrown over his head and his shirt mostly unbuttoned. His breath was even as he slept.

She let her eyes fall over his bared skin, aware that her attraction for him was threatening to overwhelm her better judgment. She had always scoffed at the notion that a person could be in love with two people at once, but last night had made her re-think that. It made her think that in another world, she could have happily been with Conor.

He stirred then, turning on his side toward her. Opening his eyes, he smiled, and then closed them again. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he brought her close to him once more.

Being in his arms felt so nice that she snuggled into him, slipping her leg in between his to get closer. The position got her intimately acquainted with the hard bulge in his jeans.

She knew they were done sleeping. His fingers skimmed under her T-shirt, stroking the sensitive skin at her lower back. In return, she ran her hand over his tight abs, tracing the definition with her fingertips.

When he pressed his lips to the side of her neck, lingering in each small kiss as he moved up to her jawline, it was as if he wanted to take his time tasting her. He next teased his mouth around the corners of hers, never quite meeting her full on so that she was the one to lean in to him, anxious for the pressure of his lips.

The moment he finally took her mouth with his was unlike any other time they’d kissed. It certainly didn’t have the sweetness and surprise of that time on the beach years ago. And it wasn’t brief and tender like last night. No, this time, it was like a lifetime’s restraint had been released. His lips were commanding, coaxing her into the most delicious surrender as he guided her onto her back and raised himself over her. That was all before he eased her mouth open with his tongue. He kissed her deeply, confidently, until she couldn’t stop herself from pushing her hips against his, wanting so much more from him.

But he didn’t take this cue. Instead, he pulled away and moved down the length of her body to her waist. She pushed her hands through his hair as he lifted her T-shirt. The feel of his mouth on her skin sent waves of desire through her body, making her ache for him to reach her breasts. When he did, he first caressed and kissed the whole of her breasts before flicking his tongue against her hard nipples. She moaned as he teasingly alternated between sucking and biting.

Pulling away, he quickly removed his shirt and she looked at him through a haze of lust. His broad shoulders and well-developed but compact muscles were taut and his skin smelled good, and god he was sexy. There was a small smile playing at his mouth, a confirmation that he could see just how much she wanted him.

The way he moved his hands reverentially over her belly and up to her breasts again as he leaned down to kiss her only made her crave him all the more.

“I’ve never wanted someone so much in my life,” he murmured between kisses.

She melted into him, losing all self-control under his sensual touch. But when he reached inside her sweatpants and placed his hand over her panties and between her legs, it all got too real. She was desperate to keep going, to have all of him. That desire, however, suddenly seemed as reckless and dangerous as Gavin’s forays with cocaine.

“Conor, no. I’m sorry, no,” she stammered as she pushed him away abruptly. She pulled her shirt into place and moved to the side of the bed.

“Sophie, don’t do this to me,” he said, half moaning.

She put her hands over her face and closed her eyes tightly, working to breathe evenly. At length, she looked at him and said in a voice just above a whisper, “We can’t do this.”

He moved to the foot of the bed and sat up, his back to her. “You wanted this a minute ago. I didn’t imagine that.”

“It’s not about that. It’s about Gavin and Colette and Rogue.”

He nodded. Taking a deep breath, he looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time. Then he turned to her and asked, “Do you feel for me, Sophie? At all?”

She watched his anxious expression for a moment, trying to come up with an answer she could live with.

“I do. As much as I can feel for my husband’s best friend,” she said.

“Well that’s a very well-crafted response,” he muttered.

“Connie, I can’t do this. It’s too much.” Her voice was shaky as tears came to her eyes.

He moved to her and wiped away her tears. “Don’t cry, honey. It’s okay.” He kissed her cheeks, her closed eyes, her lips. “Listen, last night with you was the best I’ve ever spent with a woman. You don’t have to say anything. None of this is perfect, but it’s enough. Okay?”

Though she didn’t quite understand what he meant, she nodded into his shoulder and let him continue to comfort her. It wasn’t fair to him but she didn’t know what else to do.

It was, of course, awkward after that.

Conor offered her the shower, but she insisted he go first. After she had cleaned up, they went to breakfast, walking to a local café with several feet between them. They found a hundred things to talk about that didn’t involve how they felt about each other or what they had almost done in bed together.

And as much as she trusted him, she still couldn’t bring herself to tell him what she feared about Gavin and his drug use. For a reason she couldn’t quite explain to herself, to do so seemed like the ultimate betrayal, worse even than nearly having sex with Conor.

“So I suppose I’ll fly home today. Get back to Dublin and check in with the boys. Haven’t seen any of ’em in a long while now,” Conor told her as they waited for the check.

“The record company is still hounding James for you all to get in the studio,” she said.

“Good luck with that. We’re nowhere close to being studio ready. But it is time to get working. I think that’s exactly what I need.”

She nodded. “What do you suppose we should say about the photographs that came out from last night?” TMZ had already splashed photos of them all over the internet.

“The truth—that we found ourselves here and since we’re friends we took advantage. Well, not took advantage. You know what I mean,” he said with a laugh.

“What will Colette’s reaction be?”

He shook his head with a small smile. “She’ll break up with me.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?”

He laughed again. “And say what? That I’ve never slept better than when I had you in my arms? That I came this close to being with the woman I’ve loved for more years than I care to admit?”

She had to look away from him, his confessions too bittersweet.

“No, she’ll break up with me in her typically dramatic fashion. And I’ll let her.”

“Why, though? I know you have feelings for her. Wouldn’t it help to…concentrate on her?”

“Is that what you’ll do with Gavin? No, don’t answer. Thing with Colette is that, despite all her games, she’s loads of fun. I could see being serious with her.”

That declaration made her sad, an emotion she knew she had no right to feel.

“She and I are very compatible—in and out of bed,” he continued.

She recognized the game he was playing. He hadn’t toyed with her in a long time, but that’s what he was doing. She didn’t blame him for being angry about how she’d led him on. But she also didn’t want him to think he was succeeding at making her jealous.

“So why let her go?” she asked.

“I need to get my head together. Then we’ll see. I mean, I’d be completely stupid to really let her go. But I need to be in a place where I can give her everything she deserves.”

Sophie nodded. “You’re right.”

The confidence with which she said this left him with no response, effectively shutting down his game.