Chapter 80
80
GAVIN
“ Y ou look like shite,” Conor said.
“Don’t like the haircut? Thought I might be pretty like you now,” Gavin replied, batting his eyelashes. He ran his hand over his short hair and grinned.
He had avoided Conor for weeks before finally agreeing to meet here at his house. Facing his best friends after giving them the runaround so he could fall in with drugs had been daunting. So, he got high before he came over. He knew when he was doing it that there was no denying he was an addict.
“Actually, it is an improvement,” Shay said with a laugh.
Gavin had to agree. The shorter style had turned out to be a refreshing change after years of letting his wavy hair go longish. He noticed that the clean cut made his blue eyes pop, despite the circles beneath them.
“I gotta tell yous what happened to me this morning. I ran into a mate and we stopped to chat. This is a guy I’ve spent loads of time with over the past couple months, so I’m not expecting anything unusual. Then, suddenly, he fucking makes a play for me!”
The others laughed, amused by the scenario.
“You were asking for it, admit it!” Martin said.
“No, no,” Gavin protested. “I had no clue Jacob was that way. But then today he’s rubbing my leg all seductive like.”
“What’d you do?” Shay asked.
“I was too put off to do anything really. Just told him he had the wrong man and to leave off that crap. Really odd, that.”
“Maybe it’s the new look you got going. How’d that come about?” Conor asked.
“Ah, I don’t know.”
Conor raised his eyebrows. “You don’t know?”
“I was partying with some mates, and I guess I passed out and they cut it all off for a laugh,” Gavin said.
“Good mates,” Conor said sarcastically. “These your coke buddies?”
“Just don’t you worry about all that,” Gavin said quickly.
“It is all true, then?” Shay said, eyeing Gavin’s gaunt face.
Gavin avoided looking at Shay. He had, in fact, avoided seeing Shay these past few months, aware of how his drug use would especially affect him. Shay had dealt with such things at far too young an age when his brother, Danny Boy, fell prey to heroin. Danny Boy had become an addict, disappearing for long stretches at a time before resurfacing when he bottomed out. He would seek Shay’s emotional and financial help, get straight for a time, and eventually slip away again. The burden on Shay had been huge, but he never complained. Gavin, out of all of them, had been Shay’s support when he needed it over the years.
“Thought we were here to work?” Gavin said now, unfolding a notebook stuffed with loose bits of paper.
“Haven’t seen you in forever, Gav,” Martin said. “You’ll have to excuse us if seeing you all fucked up on drugs is a bit alarming.”
“Well, get over it.” Gavin smiled to temper the sharpness of his tone.
“And what’s Sophie got to say about this?” Shay asked, looking at Conor.
“Why are you asking Conor that, Seamus?” Gavin asked. The already charged atmosphere in the room got even heavier.
“Maybe ’cause I’m the one she comes running to when things go bad,” Conor replied.
“Here’s an idea: stay out of my marriage,” Gavin said, his voice steely.
“What am I supposed to do next time? Turn her away? You’re killing her with this coke shite. You know that? She used to be a beautiful, sweet girl. And you’re tearing her apart,” Conor said.
“You think you could make her happy, Con? Is that it? You think you’d be a better husband to her?” Gavin asked.
“I would never hurt her the way you are,” Conor said cagily.
“Then maybe you should have married her.”
“Maybe I should have.” Conor closed his eyes and shook his head.
Gavin stared at his friend. He knew Conor didn’t mean it like that. He was just looking out for Sophie, like he had for years. And Sophie needed caring for more than ever. Gavin wasn’t deluded enough to not see how he was hurting her. But still. Hearing Conor, the friend he had revered since they were kids, voice his disapproval so bluntly while asserting himself as the better man was hard to take. Without another word, he headed for the door, feeling all of their eyes on his back as he went.