Tangled Up In You (Rogue #1)

Chapter 84

84

GAVIN

W hen Gavin returned to Dublin, he directed the taxi driver to the house that had just been vacated. It took him a moment to sort out what was going on, but then he flagged down the taxi before it left the driveway.

On the way to the new house in Dalkey, he asked the driver to stop at a flower shop. He quickly purchased two dozen long-stem red roses, hoping they would serve as a buffer.

Even the driver didn’t buy it. He let out a smoker’s cough of a laugh when Gavin climbed back into the car.

“Wishful thinking, aye, laddie?” he said.

“You mind your own there,” Gavin said, but not unkindly.

When he was left off at the gates of his new home, Gavin lingered at the far end of the finely laid drive. The gates were open, and under the pale sunlight he saw a glorious view of the sea beyond the house. Taking a deep breath, he then trudged on and let himself in the front door.

Sophie was leaning against the deck railing, staring out at the water. He purposely crunched the plastic wrapping around the stems of the roses to announce his presence but she was slow to turn and look at him. When she finally did, he had partially covered himself with the flowers.

“Gavin,” she said.

He lowered the flowers and attempted a charming smile.

“Don’t be an ass,” she told him, and he lost his smile.

He watched as she turned away from him again. Setting the roses down hastily, he joined her on the deck.

“So,” he started, then faltered.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.

“We need to, Sophie. In all seriousness, we need to. You need to know?—”

“I don’t want to hear lies or justifications or excuses.”

“Hear me out for second. Look at me.” He took a deep breath and waited for her to look at him before continuing. “I didn’t have sex with her.”

She watched him for a long moment, searching his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

“You have to ’cause it’s the truth. I swear to you. I got too close to doing something I shouldn’t but in the end, it didn’t happen.”

This time when she examined him, she seemed to relent. The hardness in her eyes let up and her body relaxed a degree.

“I’m so very sorry for this,” he said. “For everything.”

“What do you want?”

He was taken aback by the question. “What do I want? I want you to forgive me.”

“Do you want to be married to me?”

“Yes, of course I do. Sophie, you’re all I want. I swear to you. I was so wasted at that club, I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“Just tell me—was she the only one? Or have there been more?”

“She wasn’t anything. I swear to you, I didn’t fuck her. And I’ve never messed around like that before.” Over the years, there had been countless temptations from women eager to give themselves to him, ranging from young groupies to sophisticated women who attempted real seduction. But he’d never truly been tempted. He’d never been weak enough to do the wrong thing.

Until now.

Again, she searched his eyes for the truth. “Okay,” she whispered.

It didn’t make any sense to him, but he knew better than to question it. Instead, he followed her inside and sat with her on the sofa. They didn’t speak, but little by little she let him pull her into his arms. They stayed there, quiet and entwined, for a long while.

As Gavin held her, he thought of all he had jeopardized and who he had become. It shamed him to know that he had treated his wife with such disrespect. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he was less than a man.

At that moment, Sophie rested her head against his shoulder and sighed. The gesture brought him to tears for he knew that she had been pushed beyond her limits and yet she was still hanging on.

“Gavin?” she whispered.

“Yes, darlin’?”

“How many times do you think you can break my heart before it completely shatters and there’s no putting it back together?”

He felt a sharp pain in his chest and held her tighter to him. “I’m going to stop. I’m all out and I won’t get any more.”

“Uh-huh,” she said.

“Really, darlin’. It’s time to give it up.”

“Okay.”

There was no faith or hope in her voice, and he hated himself all the more.