Chapter 90

90

SOPHIE

C onor stayed away for two and half days before returning unannounced with a bottle of wine and takeaway Italian food. His only expectation was friendship, though they shared the kind of emotional intimacy reserved for lovers.

Over the next couple of weeks, he made a habit of arriving at midday, and they would take long walks to explore the surrounding Dalkey area. They played tourist when they came upon the James Joyce Tower, a utilitarian stone structure built to withstand an invasion by Napoleon, and now a museum devoted to the life and works of its namesake. They walked along Colimore Road, delighting in finding both Cliff Castle, a mock castle built in the 1850s, and Elsinore, the house rented by U2 in 1991 where they completed Achtung Baby. In the park above the eight Victorian homes that made up Sorrento Terrace, they took in spectacular views of the whole of Dublin, along with the full sweep of Killiney Bay across to Bray Head and the Wicklow Mountains. They’d return to her house after these walks chilled from the fall weather, make a simple dinner, and eat in front of the fireplace.

Gavin hadn’t contacted her in sixteen days by this time. Sophie and Conor’s bubble could have stretched on uninterrupted had she not realized how late she was. A home test confirming her suspicion was followed by conclusive results at the doctor’s office.

That afternoon, Sophie lay on the sofa, staring out at the sea while Conor sat on the floor close by, reading a Dave Grohl interview in Rolling Stone.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hmm?” He turned the page, continuing to read.

“Do you ever wonder why certain things happen at certain times?”

“God works in mysterious ways and all that,” he said with distraction.

“Conor?”

“Just a sec.” He held up a finger while he read.

“Conor, I’m pregnant.”

That got his attention. He dropped the magazine and turned to her. “You’re—but, I thought you were on the pill,” he stammered.

“You’re in the clear,” she said with a wry smile as she sat up. “I’m seven weeks.”

“Oh, Soph,” he said. “Congratulations?”

“It’s such an amazing thing to think that there’s a life growing in there,” she said, touching her flat belly. “I want to be excited. I want to celebrate and make plans. But Conor, I’m pretty sure my husband left me and just hasn’t gotten around to telling me.”

“He’s got his head up his arse. But once he knows about this everything will change.”

“That could be true. But would it be for the right reason?”

“Isn’t a baby the right reason?”

“I want him to want our marriage.”

“He does. Of course he does. I can’t say I’ve known him well these past months, but I know that much about him.”

“What if you’re wrong?”

“There’s only one way you’ll know, honey. You need to tell him face to face.”

She nodded but her stomach was queasy with the thought of trying to force her husband to be present again in their marriage. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

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