Tangling Hearts

129. Brendan

Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Nine

brENDAN

M arried a few months. Wife: not happy.

M y wife looks up at me with a disapproving frown. “It’s too small. I need a bigger one.”

I manage to keep a straight face. “Honey. Never say that to me again.”

Annie blinks, then bursts out laughing, her bright blue eyes sparkling under the lights of the converted parking lot on Castro Street as she points to another Christmas tree further down the aisle, an eight foot tall fir dangerously being admired by another couple. “I want that one.”

“Uh-oh.”

She grabs my shoulder with both hands, whispering, “Steal it before they get it!”

“Now there’s the holiday spirit,” I chuckle, to which she gives me a playful grin.

“You can do it, honey!”

Clearing my throat and disengaging my hands from my coat-pockets, I hastily head over to the couple, side-stepping two children running by in San Francisco winter-wear, little boots crunching along fallen pine needles, and of course, no snow.

It’s only two days before Christmas so the lot isn’t as plentiful as it once was, but we’ve just now gotten around to shopping for our first tree since this is the first time either of us has done this since we became adults. I guess we were procrastinating out of inexperience. Mark and I never bought a tree when we were roommates for the five years after college. Sara and I had one in college but I have chosen to forget that. Annie, having been a full-on Goth girl back then, celebrated Halloween more than Christmas, and when she left that darkness behind her and went to Italy, she celebrated at her ex-boyfriend’s mother’s house. She and Christiano didn’t get a tree of their own. He was older and she told me he felt it was something meant for children.

Well, I’m giving her one of those. And I’m going to give her her first tree, too.

As I walk up to the nice, normal-looking conservative couple in their late thirties, I’m determined, to say the least. “Excuse me!”

The man’s thick coat is faced away from me as he discusses the tree with a tight-lipped brunette. He turns to look at me from underneath a green beanie hat pulled tightly over short red hair. “Yes?”

His wife–or girlfriend?–stares at me with half curiosity, half thinly disguised annoyance.

My left hand rises up to indicate the fir in a possessive yet apologetic manner, palm up. At least, that’s the effect I’m going for. “That tree’s already sold. I’m so sorry.”

“It is?” the brunette frowns. She scans the tree. “It doesn’t have a sold tag on it.”

Annie, who’s a little slower lately, arrives with smiling condolences for their loss. “Oh, isn’t that awful? I know. I told them they should put a tag on it, but they said since we were taking it right away, there was no need.” She looks at me.

I quickly glance from her to them. “No need. It’s true. That’s what the guy said.”

The woman regards us with dripping skepticism, pursing her lips even tighter. Her boyfriend–I just noticed, no ring–starts to bend. “That’s fine, we can get another…”

But she cuts him off. “I just saw you at the other tree over there. Why were you looking at it if you’d already bought one?”

Annie’s eyes innocently round, which looks cute as hell under her white knitted hat, her strawberry blonde hair hanging long and loose. “That?” she asks with amused disgust. The woman gives a clipped nod. “We were laughing about how tiny it was. I mean, look at that thing! It’s a runt compared to our big boy here. I need something bigger!”

“To which I replied, never say that again ,” I smile. The boyfriend laughs but stops when he sees his girlfriend’s face.

“Let’s just get another tree, Lily.”

“Show me your receipt.”

“Lily!”

My mouth slackens. I’m impressed at the woman’s audacity. She means to win, and I can respect that. But she doesn’t know my wife, and what she just said, and with that tone? Button pushed. Missile launched. When I glance to Annie’s face, my smile turns into a bared-teeth, thin-lipped grimace.

Here we go.

Annie lowers her voice. “I don’t have to show you a receipt.”

Lily steels her eyes. “Well, then I’ll just go ask the employee if you’re lying.”

Annie’s eyebrows rise a half inch. “ Lily , is it?”

The boyfriend and I share a look.

“Just out of curiosity, Lily, what made you notice us?”

“What?”

“Why. Were. You. Watching. Us?” She’s asking like she already knows the answer. I wish I knew where she’s headed; I’ve got no clue.

“I saw… you were expecting, and my eyes were naturally drawn to…” She quiets as though she’s said too much, her eyes giving away something only women can see.

Annie looks around the lot, like the subject is closed. “That’s what I thought. Well, luckily there are a lot of trees still here…”

“There aren’t that many,” Lily argues.

“…so why don’t you go pick another tree, be nice and easy to get along with , so your boyfriend here will want to give you one of these, too.” Annie points to her pregnant belly with both index fingers. I stifle a snort.

“What did you just say to me?” Lily cries out, aghast.

Annie takes a step closer. “Look. I’m nine months in. Baby was due last week. My patience is zip and my manners? Shot. My apologies for saying it like it is, but this is how it is: be nice, you get one of these, and keep one of those. Be a frowny-faced, tight-lipped Nazi, he will go running for the hills before you can say Happy New Year.” She points to the guy whose face is now as red as his hair, the truth having been told aloud. Annie announces, without malice, “He looks like a keeper! Why don’t you take his lead?”

Stunned speechless, Lily lets her boyfriend guide her away, gently reassuring her, “We’ll get another tree. That’s their tree. It’s fine. Okay?”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I just…” she trails off, dumbfounded.

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget it.” He glances back to me and guy-to-guy, I can see he’s more than a little bit grateful, if not amused.

Eying my badass wife, I ask, “Was it worth it?” as soon as they’re out of earshot.

Annie shrugs. “I’ve got a problem with authority. You know that.”

“The second she demanded the receipt...”

Annie shrugs, trying not to feel guilty. “...It was over. I can’t stop myself. But come on! She was so rude!”

Not bothering to argue, I’m regarding the scope of this tree. “How are we going to get this bad boy home now that we’ve got it?” I glance down. She meets my eyes with a helpless look.

“Uh oh.”

“Yeah.”

She stares at it, looks at me, stares at it some more. Then one corner of her mouth tugs up. “You want to tell them they can have it?”

“No way!”

We look at it some more, until she announces, “No, really! That’s the best thing to do anyway. Go give it to them. Tell them we changed our minds. Here, I’ll do it!”

As she turns, I grab her around the waist and turn her to face me. Even with this baby-belly, she’s like a small paperweight to me. She gasps at the speed with which I’ve managed her body, and I lean in closely, holding her eyes. “This is the tree you wanted. We’re getting this tree home. I want you to have the best Christmas you’ve ever had.”

“By stealing a tree from someone?”

I kiss her nose, repeating as I nod, “By stealing a tree from someone.”

“Isn’t that bad karma?” she murmurs against my lips.

I kiss her softly. “You should have thought of that before. Now let’s see if they deliver.”