32. Amy
Chapter 32
Amy
A few days later, after lots of thinking around in circles and talking to Tavia, I headed out to Novak’s house to give him my answer.
I smelled the fire before I saw it. When I saw the tall plume of smoke in the direction of his street, panic overtook me and I started running in that direction.
No one else seemed concerned, and that was crazy to me. House fires were devastating in Sapien. A person could lose everything, even loved ones, in a blaze that spread out of control.
But when I saw the dead end and the curving retaining wall that marked Novak’s courtyard, my running steps slowed. A fire was indeed ablaze, but contained.
A pile of wooden furniture was on fire, with cardboard boxes and crumpled pieces of paper stuffed in various spots for kindling. I couldn’t tell what the furniture had been, possibly armchairs or a desk.
Novak sat on the steps leading up to his front door, his arms resting on his knees, a lit darakt cigarette dangling in his hand as he watched the fire. He didn’t move, didn’t seem to hear me or my heartbeat over the crackling wood as I stepped closer.
“I’ve never seen you smoke those before.”
He startled at my voice, eyes blinking and going wide as he looked at me, like he couldn’t believe I was there.
“Guess I’m not feeling like myself lately.” He tossed the cigarette into the bonfire. “Don’t like the taste of those anyway.”
A long moment of awkwardness passed, like neither one of us was sure what to say or do.
“What are you burning?” I asked finally.
“My father’s favorite armchairs,” he said. “And all documents and records pertaining to Rathka’s Order. That clan is ash on the wind now.”
“Good,” I said. “Good riddance.”
“Agreed.” Novak sighed.
“Have you thought of a new clan name?”
There was a long pause before he answered. “No, not yet.”
I took a deep breath and swallowed. “I… had an idea for one. If you’d like to hear it.”
He gave me a long, lingering look. “Sure. What’ve you got?”
“How about,” I swallowed again, “Blood and Truth?”
Novak looked toward the fire again and nodded slowly. “It’s a good one. I like it.”
“Thanks. I thought you would.”
The next awkward moment felt like a canyon neither of us knew how to cross.
“Novak, I?—”
“Amy—”
We started talking at the same time when the silence became too much, and when the smile crossed his face, I knew mine looked similar.
“What would Blood and Truth mean to you, as a clan name?” I asked. “What does it signify?”
Novak folded his hands, looking pensively at his linked fingers. “It means trust, not just within the clan but any agreements made outside of it as well. It means integrity, standing by your word. It means forging strong bonds, creating honest relationships. Blood and Truth to me sounds like an honorable clan, one whose strength comes from the ability to be honest. Even if, especially if, the truth is unpleasant. Such a clan doesn’t shy away from ugly truths, but leans on each other to weather those storms. Because they’re a clan that trusts in each other.”
He glanced at me, a hint of that sheepish smile returning. “How’d I do?”
“Good.” I could barely choke out the word with my throat so tight with emotion. “Great, even. And you know what?”
I went to stand in front of him and reached for one of his clasped hands. The bonfire was a bank of heat at my back, flames casting dancing shadows across Novak’s face. A face that wore an expression of heartache and longing.
“You embody everything Blood and Truth stands for. Everything you just said can be used to describe yourself, Novak. You are someone worthy of trust.” I let out a shaky breath. “And forgiveness.”
His face barely changed. Only a flicker of emotion passed over his features, but his hands wrapped around mine with an iron grip.
“Amy,” he rasped, his voice thick. “Does this mean… ”
The tears fell freely as I nodded. “I believe that you were trying to protect me from Carpe Noctem. I believe that your feelings never changed and you didn’t intend to hurt me as badly as you did.”
“No, darling. Not ever.” His knuckles grazed my cheek, already wiping my tears away. “But I did hurt you, I know that. And I’m so sorry.”
“I know, and I had to process that.” I sniffed and a little laugh escaped me. “Laith keeps telling me to feel my feelings. He says it’s in some self-help book he read.”
“Hmm. He should probably switch to romance novels.”
“Right?” Another laugh bubbled out of me, this one brighter and happy. “Thank you for all those books, by the way. I can’t believe you read and marked them all.”
“I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Novak pulled me closer to stand between his legs. “Couldn’t believe how badly I fucked up when I love you so much. I wanted you to know , to never have a single doubt about how I feel.”
“I do know.” My hands went to his shoulders, running through the long strands of silvery blond hair. “I understand you made a mistake. And it’s because of you that I’m able to pick myself up from this.” I laced my fingers at the back of his neck, bringing my forehead to his.
“You made me stronger and more confident than I’ve ever been in my life. You’ve helped me to understand myself and even love myself. No one else has ever given me such a gift. I love you, Novak and I never want you to doubt me either.”
His breath fanned across my lips and I thought he might kiss me.
“Let the first vow of Blood and Truth be this: I will never keep another secret from you. I will never cut you down with my words or actions. I will do everything in my power to lift you up and support your dreams and desires. I give you my blood and my body freely and will cherish yours in return.”
“Yes, agreed,” I sniffed, the tears returning. “Ditto, all of that. Fuck, I can’t top that, you romantic jerk.”
With light laughter, Novak finally ended my misery and kissed me. It felt like falling into a soft, warm bed after a long time away from home. He tasted like everything I’d been without, and all that I needed.
It didn’t take long for my fangs to lengthen and throb, for the burning ache between my legs to rival the heat of Novak’s bonfire, and for my thirst to make itself known.
We’d both gone without each other’s blood for nearly two weeks.
“I need you.” My lips were already finding their way down his warm neck to the perfect spot.
Novak stood with a groan, lifting me up with him using a strong grip under my thighs. “I’ve never needed a single fucking thing as much as I need you right now.”
He turned us toward his front door, pushing inside with a firm nudge of his body.
“Shouldn’t we keep an eye on the fire?” I watched the dancing flames over his shoulder.
“We can from in here.” He carried me into the front sitting room just off the foyer, lowering us onto the couch, back to the first place he’d ever laid me down. “I need you so fucking much, I can’t even bother going upstairs.”
Novak pressed me down into the sofa with another kiss, with his whole body fitting against mine like a long-lost puzzle piece. I tugged on his lower lip, sinking my teeth until I tasted blood. He shuddered, groaning into my mouth as I licked and soothed the cut.
“Trying to make me come in my pants again?” He smirked, lifting away to remove his shirt and undo his belt.
“If it gets you to use the shower head on me again.” I lifted my hips, allowing him to slide off my jeans and panties.
“Oh, we can absolutely repeat that adventure.” He let our discarded clothing fall to the floor.
The firelight was softer through the windows, but it made him no less beautiful. Lights and shadow played over tan skin, lean muscle, and his gorgeous hair.
Novak lowered himself to me, fitting his hips between my legs as he kissed me tenderly this time. I could feel how much he was holding back, the slight tremble of need not yet unleashed. I still had a T-shirt on, and he gripped the hem in a fist, his kisses long and languid.
“Will you let me take this off?” he whispered. “So I can see and love all of you?”
The fear that once ruled me was still there, just as a whisper when it used to be a roar. I had forgiven him, but my emotions were still raw. Everything that happened remained fresh, and that tiny jolt of panic at him seeing me was not yet snuffed out.
But I had chosen to trust him, to forgive him. And with time, maybe I could truly see myself as he saw me. With Novak, real confidence and self-love didn’t feel like a far-off fantasy anymore. It could be a reality, if I allowed it to be.
If I faced that fear and didn’t let it win.
“Yes,” I said.
I pressed up and let him peel the shirt over my head. But he didn’t lay me back down. Instead he grabbed me around the waist and hauled me into his lap until I straddled him while he sat in the center of the couch.
“Gorgeous.” His hands ran reverently all over me, ruby eyes dilated and taking me in everywhere. “So stunning and perfect.”
I found myself stretching, arching, loving the attention he paid me. At the same time, my fangs ached and I felt the dizzying buzz of going without his blood for so long.
“Novak,” I whined, leaning forward to nuzzle the side of his neck.
“Yes, akra. Take what you need from me.”
His head fell back, giving me access. While my lips skimmed over the strong pulse in his jugular, his fingers stroked between my legs. The moment my fangs sank into him, he sank into me.
Pleasure rushed through me so fast, I was drowning in it. His blood was hot and refreshing at the same time. More than refreshing; revitalizing. He was the smoothest, silkiest wine on my tongue. With each swallow, he drove his fingers into me, stretching and caressing me from the inside while his thumb pressed a matching rhythm on my clit.
I didn’t feel control over my body as my hips bucked and ground against his hand. My nipples dragged against his chest as I drank from him. I was pure sensation, chasing more pleasure, more friction, more contact with my blood mate.
“That’s it, ride my hand,” Novak whispered in my ear. “You’re going to ride my cock just like that.”
His filthy words tipped me over the edge, lightning zipping through me as my pleasure crested and crashed.
“Open your eyes, darling.”
I must have stopped drinking from him at some point, and found myself blinking and meeting his adoring gaze.
“I missed these galaxy eyes so much.” He palmed my nape, stroking my cheekbone with his thumb. “Can’t bear to not see them.”
My head turned to nibble the tip of his thumb. “You’re ridiculous.” The words came out lazily, everything soft and dreamy in the aftermath of my orgasm.
“About you? Yes.” Novak grinned. “I missed these kitten fangs gnawing on me too.”
I released his thumb and leaned forward to lick the bloody mess on his neck that I’d left. The skin looked torn, as if my teeth had ripped away from the force of my orgasm. “Sorry about this. Did I hurt you?”
“No, love,” he said on a soft groan, head falling back again. “Did you get enough?”
“Think so.” I lapped and kissed at the wound to speed up his healing.
“Good. My turn.”
That was the only warning I got before his fist wrapped in my hair and yanked down, sending my neck and entire spine into a long arch. He kissed my throat first, making me squirm in anticipation. At the same time, his hips shifted below me, the hard heat of his cock sliding through my wet, sensitive flesh. I could only hold onto his shoulders as his head found my entrance and he pressed inside me in one long, fluid stroke.
My moan reached the ceiling at that first thrust, and I barely got to relish how good it felt when Novak’s fangs sank into the base of my throat.
His forearms braced around my lower back, loose enough only to let me rise and lower onto his cock. He made hungry, animalistic moans as he drank from me, low and growling like a possessive predator.
I let gravity and instinct and need take over, my hands finding the back of the couch to bring myself down harder. Novak’s hips lifted to meet me, the force of every crash together making me see stars.
It felt like too soon when he pulled his fangs from my neck, swiftly licking the wound closed despite my riding him like my life depended on it.
“No, don’t stop,” I begged. “Take more from me.”
“Oh, I am,” he growled, lifting one breast in his hand as his mouth fell to it.
He teased my nipple for a tortuously long time, sucking and grazing it with his teeth until the peak ached. Then his fangs sank in just above it, his mouth sealing over and tonguing my nipple while he took more of my blood.
My left breast was red and tender by the time he finished with it. When he pulled away to repeat his ministrations on the right side, I was on the knife-edge of another orgasm.
“Novak,” I moaned, grinding against the base of his cock with every thrust, desperate for more friction. “Novak, Novak… ”
“Amy… ”
A strong forearm came around my waist and the world spun. My back hit the couch and Novak’s weight hovered over me. His mouth fell to mine in a rough, biting kiss. We bit each other, blood filling my mouth and his as our teeth clashed and our tongues tangled.
Through the hard kisses, he fucked me just as hard, driving into me with all his male power and strength as he chased his own pleasure.
The orgasm shook me like an earthquake. My body clasped around Novak’s length and his punishing thrusts grew wild and frenzied. He swelled within me, turning as hard as iron and growling out my name with those final drives into my body.
Feeling his release made my orgasm roll directly into another. My arms and legs locked around him, refusing to ever be apart from him again.
We only untangled well after becoming limp and spent. Post-orgasm Novak was achingly gentle. He lightly kissed away any lingering cuts on my lips and neck, making me shiver with aftershocks.
“I want to live in this moment forever,” I sighed, running a hand down his back. “Everything about this right now is perfect.”
“We’ll have centuries’ worth of these moments.” Novak kissed my forehead. “Time is very much on our side for plenty of this and… other moments.”
I lifted an eyebrow quizzically. “What kind of other moments?”
“Well.” He turned on his side, stroking a hand down my body. “If I may confess something.”
“Please do, Novak of Blood and Truth.”
A smile touched his lips, his hand pausing to rest on my abdomen. “I really want to make a baby with you, Amy of Blood and Truth.”
Emotion overwhelmed me to the point of feeling like my heart would leap from my chest. “You do?”
“When you’re ready, of course. Like I said, we have centuries of time. But yes, I want to create the family you and I never got to have.” His eyes met mine with shy reservation. “What do you think?”
“I think… ” I was grinning so hard, my heart so full of love and hope, that it was difficult to speak. “I think we should do that much sooner than centuries away.”
Novak blinked, his eyes lighting up as a grin split his face to match mine. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Although I have no idea when I’ll be fertile. Bea was saying it can take a couple of years for a brusang to have a regular once-in-a-year cycle like a vampire.”
“That’s no problem. Once you have an idea of your window, we can do a fertility ritual if you’d like. Or just see what happens.”
“That works for me.” I wrapped an arm around his neck, drawing him down toward me. “In the meantime, we can get lots of practice in.”
“Oh yes,” he agreed with a husky murmur, settling between my legs again. “Lots and lots of practice.”