Tears of the Wolf (Wrath and Weeping #1)

Chapter 5 Brynn

Brynn

When Brynn had woken to Cenric’s angry voice and something heavy against her back, she’d been paralyzed with fear. When she realized it was Cenric’s dog in the bed with her, the relief and confusion had rendered her speechless.

Before she had figured out what to do or say, Cenric left, taking the dog with him. She laid still for a long time after the two of them left.

When she pushed herself upright, the trunk Cenric had used as a bed was pushed back where it had been yesterday. She was still in the same dress, her hair braided up with ribbons.

A throb squeezed her skull with each heartbeat, threatening to make her head explode. She closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. She hadn’t been that drunk in years.

Grey and black dog hair powdered both her dress and the side of the bed the dog had occupied. There was nothing to show Cenric had been here except his coat still lying on top of the trunk.

Brynn’s chest tightened. She’d broken down crying in front of him. Last night, she had been too heartsore and intoxicated for dignity, but today some semblance of pride returned.

She was stuck with Cenric, one way or another. And he was stuck with her.

Brynn made her way to the washbasin. The water was icy cold, but she splashed her face and neck. Her reflection in the water squinted back. Her eyes were bloodshot with dark circles beneath them, hair disheveled.

Brynn clutched her head. She channeled ka into her own skull and that alleviated some of the throbbing, but wine sickness wasn’t like cuts or bruises. It mostly needed to heal the slow way.

A knock at the door startled her.

“Enter.” Brynn didn’t look up as the door opened. The outline of ka that stepped into the room was too small to be a man.

“Lady Brynn,” Esa’s voice called.

Brynn turned around. “Yes?”

“Your husband’s men sent word that we are to make ready to leave.”

Brynn blinked, her lashes still dripping icy water. “What?”

“Lord Cenric is having them load the ship as we speak. He’s asked that you ready yourself to depart at once.”

It struck Brynn as unusual. Ombra was at least two days away by ship, more than a week by land. Normally, someone who had sailed all the way down from Ombra would spend more time in Ungamot. But Cenric must have gotten what he wanted.

Brynn glanced around the small room. Besides her dowry, all she owned had been reduced to a few trunks, the rest given to her servants. She had dismissed all her retainers except Esa, sending them back to their families or finding them new positions in the wealthy households of Glasney. She hadn’t known if her next husband would be able to afford their upkeep. Esa remained because she had no family and refused to leave Brynn.

Brynn cleared her throat. Her new husband wanting to leave this morning was unusual, but she had no reason to stay. Ungamot had nothing for her. “We just need to carry out the chests.” She gestured to a trio of wooden chests reinforced with iron brackets.

Esa clasped her hands behind her back. “I will call some of the boys to help.”

“Good.” Brynn smeared a hand over her face. She sensed the ka of several shapes coming down the hallway.

“One more thing, lady.” Esa stepped aside as another girl came into view, carrying a wooden trencher.

She was one of the kitchen maids, her round face reddened from the heat of the ovens. A teetering trencher balanced in her hands. The kitchen maid inclined her head, setting the trencher on the bed. “Your husband said you hadn’t eaten last night, lady. He told us to bring this to you.”

Brynn frowned. “He…did?”

The kitchen maid nodded. “He and his men stopped by to break their fast not long ago. He put everything on this trencher and told us to take it to you.”

Brynn wasn’t sure how to respond. “He made me a plate…himself?”

“He did, lady,” the kitchen maid confirmed. “I must get back to the kitchens now.”

“Yes.” Brynn rubbed the spot between her eyes, trying to soothe away the headache.

“Will you eat, lady?” Esa shut the door after the kitchen maid, keeping her attention on Brynn.

“Yes.” Brynn responded with a resigned sigh. She examined the trencher her new husband had sent. It was a warrior’s meal—comprised almost entirely of meat. Leftover venison, a chunk of wild boar, and several chunks of beef loin. A single cake of ryebread had been added, almost like an afterthought. Brynn wasn’t going to be able to finish it, but focused on eating while Esa packed her chests and bundled up her belongings.

Cenric had sent her choice cuts, fatty and juicy portions with just a bit of charr on the outside. The bread was free of the grit that sometimes came off millstones during the grinding of flour.

Ka passed outside the door as servants and courtiers began their days. Brynn was aware of them but paid them little mind. Outside the window, ka flitted past as birds flew under the eaves. Below her window, the constant river of ka that made up the streets of Ungamot flowed by.

The door opened—no knock this time—to admit Eadburh and several of her ladies. “My dear, I have just heard the news.”

Brynn glanced to Esa, but the handmaiden only paused with a half-folded shift in her hands. She looked as surprised as Brynn.

“Cenric is taking you away from us.” Eadburh settled down beside Brynn on the bed, on the opposite side of her plate. “Are you alright?” Eadburh pulled Brynn’s face around and searched her carefully. Was she looking for bruises?

“I am well, lady,” Brynn assured her.

“I can speak to the king and make Cenric stay another few days or weeks.”

“I think I have intruded upon your hospitality long enough,” Brynn said quietly. Was it unusual to depart so soon after a wedding? Yes. Would she be leaving behind everything she knew? Also, yes. But she’d stayed here wallowing in her loss for months. She didn’t know what came next, but it was outside these four walls and outside this city.

“Aelgar should make you two spend at least your first few days here. I can’t believe he’s endangering your safety like this.”

Brynn smiled softly. Eadburh seemed to forget Brynn had accompanied her sister in the war. “Thank you, aunt.”

“You have endured the worst possible pain a woman could know.” Eadburh squeezed Brynn’s hands. “I can’t imagine if one of my own children…”

Brynn stood, pulling her hand from Eadburh’s. She didn’t want to hear this again. Her child’s death was like a disfiguring scar or the loss of a limb. People responded first with pity and then horror at the thought of experiencing it themselves. Sometimes, Brynn felt she had to hide her own pain so as not to upset Eadburh.

Maybe leaving Ungamot wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

“Esa, do you know where everything goes?”

“Yes, lady.”

“Good.” Brynn looked to Eadburh. “Does anyone know the name of Cenric’s ship and where I can find it?”

Eadburh nodded to one of her girls and the handmaiden scurried away.

“You are taking this all quite well,” Eadburh said. “Last night, you seemed devastated.”

Brynn shook her head. “I think…I think I can make this one work.” She turned away.

Cenric seemed like a rough man. He was probably capable of terrible cruelty. By his own admission, he had been a raider. Men who raided had to be at least a little cruel. Despite that, he had treated Brynn well so far.

Her mind flashed back to this morning. He’d gotten angry with Snapper, but the dog hadn’t been afraid. Hadn’t even seemed to care. If Cenric was so terrible, surely his dog would have learned to fear his wrath by now.

Cenric might not be a good man, but Brynn didn’t think he was as bad as Eadburh thought.

He’d asked for her son’s name.

The boys Esa had called appeared, ruddy young men in their mid-teens. They tumbled into the room, awkward and fidgeting.

“Do any of you know where Alderman Cenric’s ship is?” Brynn asked.

One of the boys nodded. “It’s called the Wolf Star, lady. Docked outside the gates.”

“Good. Carry these to it.” Brynn waved to the trunks around her room.

She let herself focus on packing and arranging everything into the smallest bundles possible. Her cedar chest was the most valuable. It had been darkened to nearly black by years of treatments of oil and spells to keep it intact. Combs, ribbons, dresses, bracelets, and a few gold and silver torques wedged to one side. On the other side were neat stacks of parchments and diagrams she’d written over the years. Some of them were her grandmother, mother, and sister’s spells, but by now most of them were her own, annotated in the margins with her own notes and reminders.

She knew her most common spells by heart, but the less common ones she needed to keep the instructions written down. Ka had many purposes, but its more complicated uses required weaving it into patterns and the correct designs.

Ever since the war, Brynn had made sure she practiced her use of magic daily, even if it was for minor spells. Like any ability, some people were born gifted, but innate talent could only take one so far. There came a point when honing one’s craft was more important than natural talent.

“In the early days of my own marriage, I found it helpful to contemplate on the psalms of the goddess Lum?.” Eadburh still sat on the bed with her hands folded before her. She stared at something across the room and Brynn realized it was Cenric’s coat. She would have to make sure and bring that to him.

“I noticed you have shrines to her in a number of places around the fortress.” Brynn picked up Cenric’s coat, carefully draping it over her arm.

She would try. She would try to fit into this new life she’d been forced into. She didn’t want to make Cenric, Esa, and Cenric’s people suffer because of her pain.

They needed a sorceress in the north, and that’s exactly what she’d be.

“Meditating on her faithfulness to Teshner helped me greatly.”

Brynn bit her lip. Seeing as how Lum? had eventually left Teshner and sworn eternal celibacy, that might not be the best goddess to emulate.

“Eponine has watched over me my entire life.” And Brynn related to the goddess now more than ever. She understood why the death of the moon goddess’s firstborn had made the goddess tear the sky in two, dividing it into night and day.

Eadburh nodded as if not sure what to say to that.

They sent the girls to fetch more servants to help them carry the trunks. Eadburh seemed to be taking a good portion of time out of her morning to comfort Brynn.

The sorceress wished she wouldn’t.

“I do regret I have no girl to send with you,” Eadburh lamented.

Brynn canted her head in understanding. “I have Esa. And I am sure there are more girls in the north I might employ as my companions.”

The trunks proved too heavy for the three young men who had answered the call, and so they had to fetch three others. While she waited, Brynn had Esa fix her hair again. Esa removed the festive ribbon, then fixed it into a simple plait down Brynn’s back.

Brynn donned her traveling cloak as the last of her trunks was carried out.

Eadburh sat watching her with a narrow gaze. “This is the most activity I’ve seen from you since…well, since you came here.”

Brynn inclined her head in the ghost of a bow. She had a mission for now. A purpose. “Please give my regards to the king.” Brynn clasped Eadburh’s hands. “I am sure he is too busy this morning, but please express my thanks and gratitude for all both of you have done for me.”

It was the right thing to say, even if Brynn knew deep down her uncle was trying to get rid of her.

Eadburh stood, squeezing Brynn’s hands. “Please send word if anything…” She took a deep breath, as if catching herself. “Go with the blessing of your gods and mine.”

“Your gods and mine,” Brynn echoed. She bowed over the other woman’s hands before following the trail of servants with her trunks.

Brynn adjusted her cloak and covered her head the way most married women did in the open air. As a sorceress, she was beholden to her own customs and rules, but at this point, she would prefer not to offend Cenric. Best she found out what Ombra’s customs were first then decided which, if any, she wished to negotiate.

The king’s residence rose up overlooking the city. Homes, storehouses, and stables sprawled below the famed cliff face fortress of Ungamot.

King Aelmar, Brynn’s grandfather, had constructed the wall that now guarded the city. The wall had been knocked down and burned in some places during the war and those spots were noticeable by the newer timbers in the palisade.

Occasional black splotches marked some of the buildings. Incongruous seams stood out where new wood and old had been cobbled together during similar repairs. Entirely new buildings stood in some places, erected over old foundations.

If the scars of the war hadn’t remained, it would have been hard to believe. The streets were alive with activity as thousands of people bustled to and fro.

The air was alive with ka in the morning mist. Life teemed in all directions, people moving like thousands of lamps. Brynn breathed it in, trying to hold onto it—that feeling of life. She’d resented it when she had first come here.

Every time she’d felt another person’s life force glowing like a hot coal, she remembered feeling Osbeorn’s coldness. She’d even tried to shut out ka at one point, but she was too powerful for that. As a sorceress who had woven spells for as long as she could remember, magic knew her too well.

People stepped aside when they saw Brynn was accompanied by a gaggle of servants and porters. They led her to the docks, already abuzz with activity.

Dozens of ships lay anchored in Ungamot’s harbor. A few ships appeared moored, but several ships appeared to be fishermen already returned hauling the first catches.

Cenric’s ship, Wolf Star, wasn’t hard to spot. Brynn half expected to see shields hung along the sides for all it looked like a Valdari ship.

The vessel had a single mast and oars all along the side. The sail was furled, but it appeared to be made of some blue fabric. The ship was large and might be able to fit thirty men or more, if it carried no cargo. The prow and stern both rose and arched gracefully, like twin serpents. Deer-head carvings graced the prow and the stern.

A plank had been set down and a number of men she recognized from the “feast” last night worked to load cargo from the dock. The ship’s broad deck was already stacked with bundles of goods and sealed barrels.

One of Cenric’s men spotted them, the short redhead who seemed to be in charge. He leapt lightly onto the docks, seeming to dance more than walk. He struck Brynn as vulpine, the way his dark eyes flickered over their small group as he sauntered toward them. “Lady Brynn! Good morning to you. I hope you’re well rested.”

In truth, Brynn’s head still throbbed with a headache and the glare of the light off the waves threatened to make her eyes water. But she nodded and lied. “I am well, thank you.”

The stranger took her hand and kissed the back of it, the proper way for a man to greet a woman of higher rank. “My name’s Edric. Cenric’s been stuck with me for nigh on six years now.”

Six years—that would mean they had known each other long before Cenric became alderman.

“Cenric should be joining us soon,” Edric said. “We can get your things loaded.” He looked over the collection of trunks carried by the king’s men. “Is this all of it?”

“Yes,” Brynn answered. She looked past Edric, studying the ship.

Edric noticed her appraisal. “A beauty, isn’t she? We took her from some Valdari who didn’t need her anymore, if you know what I mean. One of the finest ships I’ve ever seen.” He looked to the manservants. “That way. The boys will show you where to put them.”

The king’s porters carried the chests onto the ship, moving carefully along the narrow plank.

Edric gestured for her to follow him. “Right this way, lady. I’ll show you where you can get settled.”

Brynn and Esa stepped onto the boat after Edric, and he showed her to where the packs and bundles of goods had been arranged into a makeshift shelter from the sun and wind. The space was large enough for several people at once with packs of the men’s belongings arranged on the decks.

Edric told her to make herself comfortable then left to oversee the loading of more barrels onto the ship. It seemed Aelgar was making good on his promises of provisions for her dowry.

“I’ve never been on a ship, lady.” Esa’s already pale face had gone yet paler as she stared at the sea apprehensively. “The water makes me nervous.”

“It’s fine, Esa,” Brynn reassured her.

Esa’s hands fiddled in her lap.

Movement near the prow of the ship caught Brynn’s attention. She looked up and there was Cenric, boarding the vessel.

Regardless of how he had spent last night, he appeared well rested. He had a young boy at his back who carried a bundle of books and parchments. Odd. Brynn wouldn’t have thought Cenric was the type to bring books and texts, but he was literate, she realized. He’d read through Aelgar’s list of gifts himself.

Snapper trotted happily at Cenric’s side, leaping ahead of him to bound onto the ship. The dog ran straight for Brynn and Esa, tail wagging.

Brynn lowered her hand, and Snapper licked her fingers. He must be able to still taste the meat juices from her earlier meal.

“Edric, how goes it?” Cenric went straight for the redhaired man. It seemed Edric was his second in command as she had suspected.

“Almost done. We’re just waiting on a few casks of wine we were promised.”

Wine would be harder to get in the north. Grapes didn’t grow as well in the mountains.

“Good. After that, we’ll go as soon as Lady Brynn arrives.” Cenric took a scroll from Edric and began reviewing it, probably the list of goods that had been loaded onto the ship so far.

“Lady Brynn is already here.” Edric sounded oddly smug.

Cenric glanced up and followed Edric’s line of sight. Cenric looked to her, then Snapper and briefly to Esa, but quickly back to her. His expression was hard to read, but he seemed surprised.

Brynn wasn’t sure how to greet him. Was she supposed to smile?

Clearing her throat, Brynn crossed the deck. She averted her eyes. “You left this in our room, lord.” She held out his coat, neatly folded. It felt strange to say “our,” like she was forcing something that wasn’t there yet.

Cenric took it, watching her closely. He’d gone back to eyeing her the way a predator stared down a new animal, not sure if the creature in front of him was prey or another predator.

If Edric was a fox, Cenric was a wolf. It made sense that he was half Valdari. His dark eyes took her in from head to foot, devouring every inch of her without ever touching. “Welcome, Lady Brynn,” he said at length. He fixed her with that same intensity for another space of heartbeats before turning to Edric. “We’re just waiting on the casks, then?”

“Yes, lord.” Edric bobbed his head. “And not even midday!”

Brynn and Esa settled in the small shelter Edric had indicated, waiting for the ship to finish loading. Snapper invited himself to join them, tail thumping on the deck.

In mere hours, Brynn would be out of sight of the capital and beyond the reach of her mother. Even when Selene returned, there was nothing she would be able to do. Brynn was divorced from Paega with hundreds of aldermen, thanes, and their wives to witness it. Now she was already remarried with the blessing of the king himself.

She had escaped Paega, escaped her mother, and escaped the machinations of the Istovari Mothers.

Brynn had done it.