8. 7
I can’t sleep. Another week has passed and we’re not anywhere closer to narrowing down who the fucking killer is. We’re running out of time. There are only two days left until he will snatch another woman off the street.
My head is spinning with everything that’s going on and I can’t calm down. Theoretically, I should be able to fall asleep without a problem because of all the rough nights I’ve been having, but my head is working overtime. Is this how Chester feels all the time? Trying to turn around once more, I get stuck in the sheets and get so frustrated that I throw them across the room.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit up. It’s three o’clock, it’s really too early to get up. Certainly since I haven’t fucking slept at all. My bare arms get goosebumps now that I’m no longer beneath the sheets and I grunt in frustration. Too warm beneath the sheets, too cold without them. Too sleepy to get up, too awake to fall asleep. Fuck this shit. I might get myself some coffee, but at this point, the chance of me just getting jittery from it is too big.
Every single thought in my head is depressing. I don’t want to think about the killer, I don’t want to think about the victims, I don’t want to think about Remy, I don’t want to think at all, but I can’t fucking stop.
Before I can think about what I’m doing, I get out of bed, walk through the hallway and almost sprint to the door on the other side of the hallway. Without knocking, I open the door to Chester’s room. His room is dark, but I’ve made so much noise he’s sitting up in bed, looking at me with wide eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asks with a hint of panic in his voice, as he switches on a tiny nightlight. It’s not enough to light the whole room, but it gives the room a faint glow, making me able to see in the room and I can see the outline of his body in the soft glow.
“Can’t sleep,” I say, letting my gaze roam over him. His upper body is naked and his legs are covered by black sheets. I really haven’t thought about barging in here through. What am I doing here? I think I’m just looking for some company, other than my own depressing thoughts, but maybe subconsciously I came in here for Chester. For the feelings that are changing between us, and the pull he has on me to explore where those feelings might lead.
He rubs in his eyes, his eyes darting to his alarm clock not long after. “What do you wanna do? Are we getting up?”
Thank the fucking lord for giving me a friend like this. I wake him up in the middle of the night and he’s game to do whatever it is I want to do. I don’t actually want to get up though.
“Maybe I can try to sleep here? You can sleep some more.”
What. The. Fuck, Abs. Why am I acting like a schoolgirl? It’s Chester. Just Chester we’re talking about. Why is asking if I can sleep in his bed so weird? I’m glad it’s at least semi dark, so he can’t see that I’m blushing. I’m fucking fierce, I’m not supposed to be some blushing virgin. Yet here I am.
“Sure,” is all he says and he pulls back the sheets while he scoots to the side of the bed. I make my way over to him, suddenly very aware of the fact that all I’m wearing is a lacey hipster and a tank top. It’s not like he’s never seen me like this. I’ve walked through the house like this millions of times. But that was when I thought that he was only into boys and this is just my pajama, you know? Now, this is suddenly a very naked outfit, while he’s half naked, and he’s not just into boys, but he’s into me and I’m into him and I’m getting in his bed. Fucking hell. My head won’t stop rambling. Now the solution I had to my head not wanting to shut up is making even more thoughts appear in my head.
I let myself slide under the sheets, the mattress still warm from where Chester was sleeping mere minutes ago.
“Ches?” I say as we both lay on our sides, staring at what the other is doing.
“Yeah?”
“It’s aaaaaaaaaawkward again,” I admit, not daring to look him in the eye.
“Oh fuck that shit, we’re past that, Abs.” He underlines his words by grabbing me by my waist and pulling me against him. I guess that exposure therapy is a way to get over this irrational fear that I’m experiencing. His hand lands on my ass, and it’s a sure way to make me get out of my head and into the moment. My own hands land on his chest, which feels oh so good beneath my hands.
His boxer briefs press against my legs, so that answers the question on whether he sleeps naked or not. When I feel his hard on growing between us and touching my belly, my insides tighten. I swallow, as our eyes never leave the other.
“So, sleep?” he says with a hoarse voice as he reaches over me to turn the light off. I lay my hand on his arm to stop him and shake my head. My heart starts beating at a wild pace. He’d really go to sleep like this because I’m tired, when he’s obviously not thinking about sleeping?
“You want to sleep with the light on?” he asks. I can see the question for what it really is. It’s my own M.O.; he’s deflecting.
“Maybe I don’t want to sleep anymore, maybe I want to be able to see what it is I want to do.” It sounds like me, it sounds like the woman who knows what she wants. But it feels like I’m a very vulnerable girl.
Now it’s his turn to swallow, and I eye the way his Adam’s apple bobs along with it. A lock of his blond hair falls in front of his face, and I raise my hand to push it back behind his ear. When I take a deep breath, it’s like something clicks. This is Chester. The boy I’ve known for most of my life. Who’s seen me for who I am and who I’ve seen for who he truly is. And suddenly nothing seems awkward or scary or complicated anymore. Things fall into place.
When my hand comes down to his chest again, it falls on his nipple, feeling the piercing he has through it. I look down to see the little silver barbell that sticks through it, and I curiously watch as my fingers trace the tiny balls. He shivers.
“Is that okay?” I ask.
“It’s sensitive,” he says and I feel the air he moves caress my skin.
“In a good way?”
“Yeah,” he almost whispers.
I trace it again, taking it between my forefinger and thumb and roll it around.
“Hmmm,” he moans, and the sound of it makes me lick my lips. His hand slowly goes up from my ass, over my waist, until he holds it still right beneath my boob. I feel his muscles tense underneath me. I’m glad we didn’t turn off the light, because I can look at him right now, seeing the hesitation in his eyes.
“I thought we were past the awkward?” I mirror his words from just now.
“We are. It’s just… I’ve… Well, I’ve never actually touched a woman, and I’m not really sure how to do this.”
Shit, I hadn’t thought of that. How the hell do I handle this? I don’t want to freak him out, and by the feeling of the hardness between our bellies, he’s more excited than he’s scared.
“Well, what did you do when you had never touched a guy?”
I know the story of how he lost his virginity, I just never got to the specifics because there never was the need to talk about that. But just like every teenager all over the world, we talked about it when it happened, just like I told him when I lost mine.
“We just… tried. And found out what was okay and what was not. And we fucked up a lot, finding out how things did not work.”
“So why won’t we do that?”
“It’s just more complicated.”
“Why the hell would it be more complicated? It’s completely the same!” I say while I’m not able to keep a smile from my face.
“It’s more complicated, because I’ve got a dick myself. I played around with it extensively before I ever touched another guy’s. I had a clue as to what it was I’m doing. Boobs? A pussy? I don’t have those. I don’t know how that works.”
I grab his hand and lay it on my breast, basking in the warmness of his hand immediately. My nipples are rock hard and poking through my tank top. “Well, you’re a genius, you’ll figure it out.”
He doesn’t move a muscle. Maybe I’ve really freaked him out, which would be a bloody shame, because I’m finally all over the awkwardness in my head. Have I gone too far by putting his hand on it? Did I take away his own choice, making him feel like I’m forcing him, just like Nanny-from-hell did?
“Besides,” I try one last time as I make his hand move over my boob, squeezing my legs together to find some friction, “we’ve got this huge advantage…”
“What’s that?” he asks as he continues the motion I made and relief floods through me when he continues what we’re exploring.
“We’ve been talking for fucking ever. Communication is key, babe. I’ll let you know.”
He grunts and lets his lips come down on mine in a chaste kiss. I let his hand go, lowering my own to his abdomen, feeling out the hard ridges of the muscles he has there. I moan into his mouth when his thumb scrapes my nipple.
“I take it that’s a good moan,” he says tentatively.
“Hmm.”
The corners of his mouth pull up as I let him explore my boob. My hips shift up, grinding over his hardness, coaxing a moan from him. I feel the need to take this as slow as I can. Usually I’m all for a quick and hard fuck, but that’s not what we’re doing here. This changes things and is more meaningful than before.
He lets me go, moving his hands down to reach for the hem of my top, slowly peeling it up over my body. I help him by holding up my arms to take it off over my head. The moment it’s off, he kisses me beneath my ear, the skin to skin contact feeling electric. His kisses trail down, to the nape of my neck, the little hollow beneath my throat. He watches how he touches the mound of my breast with the backside of his fingers. In my turn, I watch how his pupils fully dilate as he sees what he’s doing. As he traces the edge of my areolas, I hum in encouragement until he brings his mouth down, giving soft kisses all over my breast until he takes the hard bud in his mouth. I let my head fall back and release a content sigh.
Once his tongue twirls around my nipple, he knows what to do, obviously familiar with the concept of it seeing as guys have them too, which I always found kind of ridiculous because of their uselessness, thank you very much. But a part of me is excited to explore that piercing he has, because it’s a novelty and he’s claimed it’s sensitive in a good way.
The moment he releases my nipple, he breathes onto my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he worships me, and even though I’ve never been insecure about my looks, I’ve never felt more beautiful than in that moment.
“Not freaking out?” I ask, because that’s easier than taking the compliment.
“Not freaking out,” he assures me.
Then I let my hand roam over his ass, stroking him over his underwear, closely monitoring the way he responds to it. When he thrusts his hips forward, I know we’re okay. I lower my mouth, kissing him down the side of his neck, until I make my way to his pierced nipple and take it in my mouth. He shudders as I twirl around it, making me smile. I like this feature. Most men I met weren’t that into nipple play.
My hands wiggle their way under the trimming of his boxer briefs, making him get out of them. He helps me until the briefs land on the ground. Turning the tables, he grabs the edge of my hipster and pulls them down too. I kick them out, making them land, well, somewhere.
My hands go over his body on my own. Now that I’m out of my head, it just seems to come naturally. I just pray to fuck I can make him feel the same. Wriggling a hand in between us, the back of my hand grazes his hard length. No more holding back, right? My hand strokes him, until I run into something hard at the top of his shaft. Looking down, because what the hell, I see another set of small silver balls. Frenum piercing. Nice. Never knew. Would definitely like to know more.
“Full of surprises,” I stumble out, hypnotized by the look of his dick. I don’t just mean the piercing though, he doesn’t disappoint on any level - at all.
“We aim to please, Miss Wilder.”
“Did you seriously just reference Fifty Shades to me?”
“Uh yeah, duh, Jamie Dornan,” Chester says with a huge grin.
That manages to create a pang of jealousy in me, even if I can’t say he’s wrong. I don’t want him thinking about other people when he’s with me, especially not with men. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever be able to live up to his expectations. So I’ll just have to make him focus on the here and now, which I do by wrapping my hand around him, gently trickling the piercing. He hums, his eyes falling closed as he lets his head fall against me.
“Still thinking about Jamie?”
“Nope, just wondering how the hell I proceed from here.”
“Well, what do you want to do?” I ask him, my voice as soft as my strokes. “What do you need from me?”
His hands grab my ass, pulling me against him again as he starts massaging my butt cheeks roughly. He’s panting already, and I’m not even doing that much. Is it excitement, anticipation, or fear?
“I need to have the feeling that I’m in control,” he answers with a thick voice. “Nothing to do with you personally. It’s just… trauma. And I need to know that I’m in control. It’s the only way I can do this.” He’s mumbling, and nervous, but I can hear him loud and clear. His eyes open and find mine, uncertainty hiding beneath the blue of his eyes.
“Always,” I promise, meaning it with every fiber of my being. Finding the sincerity in my answer, he kisses me again, wiggling his own hand between us while he makes his way over my belly, until he reaches the apex of my thighs. I open up for him, giving him easy entrance, making sure he can explore. Tentatively, he roams from the front of my folds to my opening, spreading them in the process. And honestly? I’m soaked, getting off on whatever touch he’s willing to give me.
“Help me,” he pleads, going straight against what he just told me about being in control. Maybe that mainly applies to things being done to him, which I can understand with that taken away from him in the past.
I let him go, and take his hand in mine, navigating his finger to my clit. “There,” I moan as I press his finger down. Making sure to apply some pressure so he can feel the bundle, and making him rub a circle over it. I release the longest sigh ever.
“That’s good?”
“Hmm,” I answer, letting go of his hand and taking his cock back in my hands. There’s a bead of pre-cum there that I spread around his crown with my thumb, working on muscle memory as I focus on the sensation between my legs.
“Keep doing that for a while and I’ll get there.”
The words stumble out of my mouth in hurdles. The radars in his head are spinning so hard I can practically see them go, filing away the information for later.
“What else?”
“Stick a finger in.”
“No lube?” he asks genuinely concerned.
“Nope, you took care of that already,” I say with a side smirk. “We women are produced with that function on the basic model.”
His fingers glide back through my folds, finding my opening and gliding a finger in. I buck my hips in reaction. This is probably the most patient I’ve ever been with anyone, and it’s hard to be this patient. I hover my mouth over his, our lips almost touching.
“Add another one.”
He does so without questioning me again. The raw sound that leaves my mouth comes from somewhere deep inside me. All the while, I softly stroke him, but I get the feeling he’s more focused on what he’s doing.
“Now see if you can get your thumb to the spot I just showed you,” I pant.
He tries, but doesn’t find the exact spot right away, so I guide him to where I need him to be and he hums. My body responds eagerly to him once he finds it, my temperature rising and my heart pounding. He starts pumping his fingers while trying to get a rhythm going with his thumb, and I have to say he’s a natural. Some part of me is annoyed by it, because he’s found yet another thing he manages to do on the first try, but the biggest part of me is not complaining.
Not complaining at all, because I feel an orgasm starting to build between my legs. My breath hitches, and he stills his hand.
“Don’t you fucking dare stop,” I snap at him, and he picks up the pace again. I don’t expect the warmness and the wetness of his mouth on my boob, but suddenly it’s there, and once he nibbles down, I ignite. My legs start trembling as waves of pleasure ripple through my body and my walls start convulsing.
Once I’ve come down, I manage to open my eyes, seeing him look up at me, my nipple still between his lips.
“Do I stop now?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I answer, my whole body feeling like jelly. He moves back over me, laying on his side again.
“I didn’t fuck that up, now did I?” he asks with a hint of insecurity in his voice.
“No, you didn’t,” I pant. Figuring it’s now my turn, I want to take over, take control, but I can see how that might be an issue for him. So even in my hormone induced craze, I take the time to talk this through.
“Are you okay with me going down on you?”
Why is it so weird to say that out loud? Usually, I’m right there in the moment, not giving a crap. But this is Chester, and this is us, and we’ve always been considerate of each other. It’s just weird to talk about these kinds of things, because it’s something we’ve never talked about. Come to think of it, it might be the only thing we’ve never talked about, because we talk about everything else.
He’s silent for a while, which could worry me, but the fact that he’s taking his time to think this through is only soothing.
“I’m usually okay with it, as long as I have some sort of control,” he answers in a raspy voice. “I don’t know how I’ll respond to the idea of a woman going down on me. Then again, it’s you, and I trust you.”
I look up at him through my eyelashes, his eyes laser focused on me.
“So how about you take control, and you tell me the moment you’re having second thoughts and I’ll stop.”
He only gives a short nod. I grab his hand and lay it on my head, making him grab my hair, showing him I’m literally giving him all control. Once he grabs on tight, I kiss my way down his chest, letting my tongue circle over his nipple piercing again. It’s a novelty I don’t think I’ll be getting bored of any time soon. Letting my mouth roam over his abs, I’m surprised by how hard they are. If this is what swimming does to your body, perhaps I should work on getting over my fear of large bodies of water.
As I’m taking my time making my way down, Chester gets impatient, and the hand on my head pushes me down further. I grab the base of his dick with my hand, lining the tip of his cock in front of my mouth. I eye the frenum piercing with the utmost curiosity, before I let my tongue trace the edges of it. Just like his nipple piercing, there’s a silver barbell in it. I find the little balls on the end of the piercing, exploring both sides with the tip of my tongue.
He hums in what I assume is enjoyment, and I circle his crown all around. Giving a gentle tug with my hand, I open up for him, taking his cock in. Licking his slit, I tease him, before I take it in again fully. The metal of his piercing clicks against my teeth, and it’s a new sensation. Like having a dick with accessories. When I bob my head down on him, the hand on my head presses me down with it. Yeah, I can see us having all kinds of fun when we no longer have to be careful with each other. I’d love for him to be rough with me. Just, not now. No rush. We’ve got all the time in the world.
When I hollow my cheeks and suck him down, he releases a throaty moan that resonates with my insides. Once I relax my jaw, the piercing is no longer in the way. Opening up my throat, I take in as much of him as I can. The second he pushes me down on him, he reaches the back of my throat, making me gag.
“Fuck, sorry,” he says, letting go of me immediately.
I take his dick out of my mouth to answer him.
“I don’t care, I love it rough.”
Without giving him any room for negotiations, I suck him in again, trying to swallow him down. The only response I get is a grunt when his hips buckle up, making me gag again. My eyes water, but I don’t give a fuck. I just want to make him feel good. And going by the sounds he makes, I’m doing an excellent job.
Before I can get a steady pace going, he uses both hands to pull me off of him. I don’t understand what I did wrong, but I promised him I’d stop the moment he’d let me know. So this is me stopping. His hands guide me back up on the bed, worry in my eyes as to how this’ll end. Maybe he really can’t be with a woman? Maybe his trauma has really fucked him up for good? At least he’s into men as well, so he’ll always have that.
The look on his face isn’t a bad look though, he mainly looks aroused. I can’t figure it out.
“What’s going on, Ches? You’ve gotta spell it out for me, because this is uncharted territory and I don’t know how to read this situation.”
He clears his throat and opens his mouth twice before he answers. “I, uh, I think I’d like to have sex with you, and if you keep blowing me like that it’s all going to be over before we even reach the fucking.”
My insides heat and my heart takes it up a notch. “Okay.” I take a deep breath. “I need you to tell me how this is going down, because I’m not willing to fuck this up.”
“Me? You want me to tell you how this is going down? I’ve never had sex with a woman! You tell me how this is going down!” He suddenly seems outraged and it’s all kinds of heartwarming. I kiss his cheek, unable to keep a smile off my face.
“We’ll figure it out. I just want you to know you’re in control.”
The frantic look in his eyes disappears. “Okay.”
“Dude, you’re acting like you’re a virgin. I know for a fact you’ve had more partners than I’ve had. It’s the same, it’s just a different hole.”
He rolls his eyes at me while his hand wanders to my breast, subconsciously caressing it. “Real romantic, Abs. It is different though. It’s you and me. It’s not just some random hookup.” Panic sets in his eyes. “Please tell me this is not just some random hookup and I’ve read this whole situation all wrong.”
I cup his face and bump his other cheek with my nose. “This is not some hookup. You haven’t read the situation wrong. We’ve always been more than random.”
His look softens, and suddenly I can’t believe that this is happening while at the same time not being able to believe this hasn’t happened before. We’ve both been so blind. Or perhaps everything happened for a reason. Maybe we needed all those years as friends to be able to grow enough to get to this place.
“So,” I start, “let’s be adults about this.”
“Way to kill the mood.”
I chuckle. “No, for real. Unlike your previous partners, when a boy and a girl like each other and have sex, they can make a baby. I’m on contraception though. So no worries in that department.”
“Good, that’s good. Babies do not suit our lifestyle.”
“I absolutely agree.” The thought of bringing a kid of my own into this fucked up kind of world, especially with a serial killer on the loose who’s taunting me, seems like the worst idea ever. “And I got tested after I had a freak out about possibly having had sex with someone who I believed was a serial killer. I’m all clean.”
He scoffs. “We’re really made of the same cloth, I did the exact same thing. All clean as well.”
Of course we did the exact same thing without knowing we were doing it. That’s so us.
I swallow hard, I guess that’s all the real talk we’re going to have to have. I roll on my back, pulling Chester on top of me. His hard-on stuck between our bodies. I open my legs to let him sink between my knees, all the while staring in his baby blues. I don’t have to tell him he’s safe - I let my actions do the talking for me. He leans on his forearms, until he lets himself come down on me and our lips find each other and we get lost in a passionate kiss.
My legs wrap around his, making them tangle. We’re stuck in the most wonderful pile of body parts I’ve ever seen. Our bodies writhe and my hands roam over his back, his shoulders, his arms. Gliding over the back of his neck, my hand tangles in his hair.
He kisses my neck, my ear, my shoulder and there’s just no getting enough of it. My limbs are tingling from slight hyperventilation. His cock is still stuck between us and I squeeze my hand between us to grab it. The hardness of the piercing once again manages to surprise me, already forgotten that it was there.
He lifts his hips, while sucking down on the tender spot beneath my ear, making me moan. Guiding his cock to my opening, I let him glide through my folds.
“Fuck,” he curses, obviously liking the feeling of it. While I love the feeling myself, I just need him right now. It’s no longer a case of wanting, it’s plain need right now. Once I have him in front of my opening, I lift my own hips, making him enter ever so slightly. The feeling of his piercing against my insides is delicious and I need more of it. He pushes forward, but holds back.
“No need to go slow,” I whisper in his ear. “It’s literally what it’s made for.”
When I push my pelvis up and he bottoms out, his eyes widen in shock. I guess he usually has to take it a little easier to not hurt his partner. He studies my face, looking for any sign of discomfort, and when I pull back and thrust up again, his eyes become hooded. He grunts, as his hips start moving. Finally his eyes flutter closed, and he starts thrusting into me. I meet him for every single thing he gives me. Soon, I’m lost in sensation, unwilling moans leaving my mouth as I pant to get enough air in.
Now that he’s moving, he seems to know what he’s doing, no longer taking it easy on me. We kiss and hug and stroke each other. I lose track of what I’m doing and just fully give myself to him, body, heart and soul and I don’t even care that I’m the biggest cliché there is right now. He moves one of his arms down, moves it beneath my legs, and pulls my leg over his arm, opening me up. My eyes shoot open, feeling the change of angle everywhere inside of me, making me gasp for air.
Since he knows what he’s doing, he’s taking control. Gone is the insecure man who doesn’t know how to have sex. Now that we’ve got technicalities out of the way, he damn well knows what he’s doing. And damn, boy’s got moves. He bends down, takes my nipple in his mouth and starts working it like it’s what he was born to do. The rolling of his hips makes him hit a certain spot inside of me that makes me go wild.
Once he puts his hand between us, he starts searching for the right spot between my legs. I moan encouragingly when he touches my clit to let him know he’s found it. Smart as he is, he keeps his fingers in the exact right spot, rubbing circles over it. I would be ashamed how little time it takes me before I come, but I’m feeling too good to feel any such thing. Instead, my body gets taken over by a soul shattering orgasm that ripples through me like waves on high tide. I don’t recognize the sounds I’m making, but it feels like eternal bliss. My insides keep clenching for a long time after I think my orgasm is done.
Chester takes up the pace, getting more frantic in his moves, and I wrap myself around him like letting him go will mean I tumble down a ravine and fall to my death. His muscles tense, and his face contorts in a face that is somewhere between bliss and agony. It might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
When he stops moving, he lets himself fall down on me, and together we bask in the afterglow of what just happened. Without moving, or getting up, we keep giving each other kisses until we both fall asleep, oblivious to anything that’s going on outside of this room.