Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Paetyn
“Okay, that’s it for our session, Amy. I will see you again in two weeks.”
My patient stands from the chair opposite me, fiddling with the ends of her long, auburn hair. “Thank you for today.”
I lean forward to lay my notebook on the wooden coffee table in front of me and stand, meeting Amy’s gaze. A warm smile touches my lips as I regard her. She has been coming to see me regularly for the past two years. She’s in her early twenties, struggling with debilitating anxiety and depression. Despite being diagnosed with something life-altering, she still makes the effort every two weeks to sit down and talk with me. Amy might not see it yet, but in the time I have been seeing her, she has made progress. Mostly in the way she thinks and some of her actions. But there is still much more progress to make.
“Get home safe, okay?” I wait for Amy to pass me before I follow her out of the room. My heels click against the vinyl floor, echoing throughout the front foyer.
Clarissa smiles at me from behind the computer monitor as we pass by. Once again, she is working late. I need to remind her it’s okay to leave work on time. Life is too short to be bogged down by a job.
Maybe I’m saying this because of my recent kidnapping, but still, life really is too short.
Before Amy steps through the door, she turns to face me, her pale brown eyes wide. “I’m glad you’re okay, after… you know. I was worried about you when I heard about your disappearance.”
Oh, if only she knew how messed up my head has been this past week. But I can’t tell my client that sort of information. Instead, I offer a warm smile. “Thank you for your concern, Amy. I’m okay.”
The corner of her lips turn up in a smile and she nods. “Have a good night.”
“You too.”
The door closes behind her with a soft click, and I’m quick to push the lock into place. I’m ready to get home and find something to take my mind off everything that has happened the past week since I was recused.
After the text message I got last night from the masked man… I need something to distract me from the meaning behind it.
“Paetyn,” Clarissa calls from the front desk. “Are you okay?”
I clear my throat and step away from the door. A smile slips onto my lips as I straighten the dark brown cardigan wrapped tightly around my shoulders. “I’m fine, just tired. It’s been a long day of back to back sessions.”
Clarissa’s brown eyes flash with sympathy as I approach her. “Go home and get some rest, okay?”
“You should take your own advice,” I respond with a small smile. “I mean it. You work too hard. Take the night off, and go out with your boyfriend. It’s Friday night, after all.”
Clarissa blows out a long breath, running her fingers through the ends of her blonde hair. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just about done with the work for today anyway.”
“That’s the spirit.” I step away from the desk and walk toward my office. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
Once I have my belongings and lock my office, I bid farewell to a few other people in the office and step onto the streets of New York City. The air is cold against the bare skin of my cheeks. But thankfully, I don’t have to walk to the parking lot I would normally park in because Liam has insisted I have a driver take me to and from work each day. He doesn’t feel comfortable with me driving myself and having to walk alone at night after what happened.
I must admit, I feel the same. That’s why I didn’t put up a fight, and allow Liam to hire a driver.
Toby, said driver, nods at me from his position in front of the passenger door. When I approach him, he opens the door to the black Rolls Royce. “Good evening, Miss Jones.”
“Hi, Toby,” I say softly, sliding into the car. “Thank you.”
I watch the middle-aged man with graying hair round the front of the vehicle. He slides into the front seat effortlessly, wasting no time switching the ignition on and pulling out to merge with the traffic.
With it being a Friday night, we’re stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Everyone is keen to get home and relax. Angry honks and annoyed voices shouting throughout the street hit my ears, but I ignore them. My mind feels numb as I stare straight ahead, staring at the back of the yellow taxi inches from the front of the car.
My phone vibrates in my lap. I snap my eyes downward to see a text message from Raya on the screen.
RAYA: Let’s meet up for dinner tonight. Since you’ve been out of hospital, I’ve barely seen you. I miss you, Pae.
I drag my bottom lip between my teeth as I read my best friend’s message. She’s right. Between getting back to work and avoiding the media, I haven’t had the chance to sit down with her and catch up properly. Liam has been adamant that I stay at home and rest after work, but I’m in desperate need of some girl time.
Meeting up with Raya is just the distraction I need.
PAETYN: Absolutely! Text me the details of where to meet, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.
I lift my phone to my ear after dialing Liam’s number. It’s best I let him know right away about my changed plans so he’s not worried about my whereabouts. He’s been busy at work this past week with his campaign, so there is a chance he may not answer.
When I reach his message bank, his voice filtering through my ears, I bite my lip. I leave him a message, detailing my plans to meet up with Raya. I hope he’s not annoyed I’m going out tonight, but I’m not going to be in any danger. Not when I’m with another person, and I’ll have Toby outside the restaurant if I need him.
I drop my phone in my lap and turn to Toby. His gaze is focused ahead at the traffic, but I know he’s watching me from the corner of his eye. “Toby, change of plans. I need you to drive me somewhere else.”
He nods. “As you wish, Miss Jones.”
* * *
The Mexican restaurant Raya asked me to meet her at is busy. Loud voices ring throughout the cramped space, and my vision blurs at the edges, mixing with the burnt orange walls and bright yellow tablecloths.
I inhale a deep breath and push my way through the restaurant, clutching my handbag to my side. Fried beans and guacamole waft through the air, making my stomach growl. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I stepped inside, surrounded by delicious food and endless glasses of frozen margaritas.
A head of strawberry blonde hair falls into my line of sight. My mouth turns up into a half smile when I lock eyes with Raya, her golden irises, with flecks of green, push away the tension in my shoulders.
God, I have missed my best friend.
“Pae!” she calls out, standing. “Over here.”
I smile and push my way through the last little bit of space, making sure to apologize for bumping shoulders with one of the workers. As soon as I reach the table, Raya wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close to her body. My eyes flutter close as the scent of her lotus and vanilla shampoo fills my senses.
Warmth spreads through my chest. I dreamed about hugging my best friend while I was held captive. Tears threaten to form in the corner of my eyes, but I blink them away.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Raya murmurs, her grip around me tightening.
“I’ve missed you too.” My words are breathless as Raya squeezes the air out of my lungs, but I welcome it. Having her arms around me is better than lying on a dingy bed wondering if I’ll ever get to have her in my arms again.
Raya pulls away, but I sense her reluctance as her arms fall to her side. She gestures to the empty chair across from her, and we both sit down. “I’m so glad we could do this. Since everything that has happened, I needed to see you and make sure you’re okay.”
A young waitress stops by to take our food and drink order, halting the conversation. Raya orders a chicken and cheese quesadilla, and I go for the chicken burrito. After a long day at work, I need it.
When the waitress steps away after confirming our order, I return my attention to my best friend. “You look great, by the way. Did you get your hair cut recently?”
Raya smiles and flips her hair over her shoulder. “I did, actually. You’re always so observant.”
“Or it could be because I haven’t seen you in forever.” Even I hear the unspoken words hanging in the air. I haven’t seen you because I was held captive for a week . I cringe internally and shift on the seat. “Anyway…”
Raya leans across the table, her pink manicured fingers wrapping around my hand in a gentle embrace. She offers me a sad smile. “If you want to talk about what happened, you know you can confide in me. I’m sure the media has been hounding you for these details, so don’t feel as though you have to tell me.”
The same waitress stops by the table to drop off our watermelon margaritas. She must sense the shift in emotion between Raya and me because she places the drinks down and leaves with a quiet nod.
I exhale a long breath and weigh my options. Raya would understand if I chose not to talk about my kidnapping and put it down to me not wanting to relive what happened. But after the text I received from my kidnapper… I don’t know, I’m more confused than anything else. Throw in the fact I had sex with him and have been unable to stop thinking about him, I’ve got myself a messed up head and a person who doesn’t know what to do.
Maybe getting the details off my chest will be therapeutic in a way. Raya is a great listener and isn’t one to cast judgment on anyone. Granted, this might be the expectation given the contents of the details. But as my best friend, she will give me the advice I’m seeking as to what I should do about the situation I’m in.
If I don’t say anything now, I never will .
“Okay,” I breathe and squeeze her hand. “Buckle up because you’re in for one hell of a ride.”
Raya releases my hand and leans back. Within seconds the margarita glass is in her hand, her lips wrapped around the straw. “I’m ready. Lay it on me, Pae.”
So, I do.
I tell her everything .
My lungs ache the more I talk, and my head becomes a jumbled mess with my chaotic thoughts. Between each part of the story from the moment I was kidnapped in the alleyway to the moment I was rescued, I stop to take a bite from the burrito I ordered and sip on my margarita.
Raya’s eyes stay glued to mine as I speak. She doesn’t utter a single sound, which I’m thankful for. I needed this moment to brain dump all over her and get my feelings out on the table, laying them bare. If she had stopped me to ask questions, it would disrupt the flow.
By the time I explain the text message I received from my kidnapper, I’m breathless. My burrito is now forgotten on my plate, and I’m desperate for another margarita.
Raya’s eyes are wide as she gazes at me from across from the small table. She blinks slowly. “Oh, woah. That certainly was… a lot.”
I exhale a sharp breath and run my fingers through the ends of my hair. “Tell me about it. I’m fucked up, aren’t I? For what I did…”
Raya’s hand shoots across the table to grab mine. “You’re not fucked up, Pae. What you went through… no one should have to endure.” Her hand squeezes mine gently. “You’re a strong woman. I’ve always said that.”
“I cheated on my fiancé.” I blink back the tears forming in the corner of my eyes as my stomach twists in a painful knot. “And now I can’t stop thinking about the man who kidnapped me. What normal person does that?”
I’ve disclosed my suspicions of Liam’s infidelity to Raya. She has reminded me that without proof, I can’t be sure that is what’s happening. If he truly is cheating on me, then I’m no better than him.
My stomach twists painfully with the admission.
“It has to be Stockholm Syndrome,” Raya responds, her voice low so the people sitting around us don’t overhear. “It would explain everything. You said this guy was giving you food and water, and even spending time in your room. It would make sense that you’ve developed some sort of attachment to him for keeping you alive.”
I ponder her words. Stockholm Syndrome? I never thought that could actually happen. Because what person would form a connection with someone who kidnapped them and held them captive? It could explain everything I’ve been feeling since I was rescued, though. And why I had sex with him.
Being locked in that small room for seven days would drive anyone crazy, making them feel alone and scared. Maybe I did develop an attachment to him because I was lonely and craved human interaction. It has to be…
“Maybe you’re right,” I murmur, my throat dry.
“If that’s the case, you need to stay away from this guy, Pae. No responding to his messages or allowing him to see you in person. If you’re worried about him, tell Liam and go to the police, okay? He sounds dangerous, and I don’t want to even think about the possibility of losing you again.”
I swallow hard and squeeze her hand. Raya’s concerns are valid. I don’t want a repeat of what happened to me. If keeping my distance from the masked man will ensure my safety and hopefully break whatever bond I’ve created with him, then so be it.
“I’m not going anywhere, okay?” I smile, patting the back of her hand. “Anyway, I need another drink. My treat this time.”
Raya chuckles and leans back in her chair. “I hope you don’t have plans for the rest of the night because I want to get so drunk I can’t see straight.”
“You and me both, Ray.”
* * *
“Phew, Pae. What has gotten into you tonight?” Liam sighs contently beside me, his arm thrown lazily over my stomach. “You jumped my bones the moment you got home.”
I exhale a low breath, my eyes focused on the ceiling. He’s right. After my night with Raya, drinking too many margaritas to count and the recent discussion of possibly having Stockholm Syndrome, I wanted to prove that what happened with the masked man was a once off because I was lonely. That my attraction to him was just physical and nothing more.
The moment I walked through the front door—well, more like stumbled—I found Liam on the couch watching TV. His shirt reeked of perfume like it does most nights, but I didn’t care. My drunk brain only had one thing on its agenda, and that was to sleep with Liam to remind myself who my fiancé is and why I need to stop thinking about my kidnapper.
While the sex was decent and I feel closer to Liam, I can’t help but feel… odd. And I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. It’s almost as if my mind is present but my body is vacant. Like I’m mentally here in the moment, but I’m physically somewhere else.
Yeah, back in the dingy bedroom with the masked man’s hands roaming all over your —
“I’m going to get some air,” I murmur, unable to meet Liam’s eyes.
He hums in acknowledgment and rolls over to his side–away from me. “Okay, babe. Don’t be too long.”
I get out of bed, wrap my silk robe around my naked body, and scoop my phone off the bedside table. My legs move on autopilot, stepping out onto the small balcony that overlooks the front yard. A slight breeze nips at my skin, but I welcome it.
My elbows rest against the railing and I close my eyes, focusing on my breathing. The night is calm, which helps to quiet the chaos running rampant in my mind. If I could stay out here all night, getting lost in the breeze, I would. But I would eventually freeze given the time of year.
The dinging of my phone in my hand spikes my heart rate, erasing all the hard work I had just done. It’s well after midnight, so who could possibly be texting me? Maybe it’s Raya.
My phone bursts to life when I unlock it, the screen almost blinding. When I see UNKNOWN on the screen, the device nearly slips from my hand. My eyes snap up to sweep across the front yard, focusing on every nook and cranny of the tree line I can see.
Surely, he can’t be here again.
DING!
Oh, shit.
Raya told me not to engage with him because it won’t do me any good. I need to stay away from him because he’s dangerous. Opening his messages will only continue to drag me into whatever game he’s trying to play.
I should delete the messages and possibly get a new phone number.
I should walk inside, close the door, and go back to be with my fiancé.
I should not give him any more of my time than he’s already taken from me.
But I don’t do any of those.
No. Instead, I open the two messages, unable to stop myself.
Maybe I really am fucked up.
UNKNOWN: You make such pretty sounds, little bird.
UNKNOWN: But they sound prettier when they’re for me.
My heart leaps into my throat. Is he watching me? How the hell does he know I had sex with Liam just now? Did he break into my house and watch from the shadows?
With shaky hands, I type a response. I keep my eyes focused on the phone, not wanting to gaze at the front yard for fear I would see him watching me from afar, his ocean eyes drawing me in.
PAE: Who are you and what do you want from me? I’ve seen your face, you know. I could report you to the police.
Maybe It’s not ideal to threaten him, but if it’ll get him to leave me alone, then so be it.
DING!
UNKNOWN: And yet, you haven’t. Why is that? Is it because you don’t want anyone to know what happened between us? Especially not your fiancé.
I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. This can’t be happening. I need to shut this down before it gets out of hand. Maybe it’s the alcohol coursing through my veins that is encouraging me to make bad decisions, but either way, I can’t play into what this guy wants. Whatever that is.
PAE: You need to leave me alone.
I muster up whatever courage I have to turn and walk inside when another ding sounds from my phone, halting me in my tracks.
I should ignore him and change my number, but curiosity gets the best of me.
UNKNOWN: You can run from me all you like, little bird, but I will always catch you.
As I shove my phone into the pocket of my robe, I swear I feel the masked man’s intense gaze on the back of my head from somewhere in the distance. Knowing he’s been watching me spikes my heart rate and floods my veins with fear. And somewhere deep inside, a hint of desire I don’t want to acknowledge.
What does he want from me?