Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Paetyn
It took me far too long to drag myself off the floor of the grimy alleyway and walk the rest of the way to my car. My body moved on autopilot as I drove home.
After the interaction with Ace, I was left feeling frustrated, both physically and sexually. I hated that I let myself feel affected by his words and even more so that I was turned on by them. It’s wrong for me to feel this attracted to him, but it’s almost as if my body has a mind of its own right now. No matter how many times I tell myself this is wrong, and I need to stay away from this dangerous man, I find myself thinking about him and the night we shared.
Ace is messing with my fucking head.
When I walk through the front door, Liam is pacing the living room with his phone pressed against his ear. His features are lit up with what I can only assume is joy as he speaks.
He doesn’t see me walk in, so I take my leave and go upstairs to have a shower so as not to disturb him. Having a moment to myself before I face my fiancé after kissing another man is greatly needed to get my goddamn head screwed on straight.
By the time I make it to the bathroom and switch on the shower, I’m desperate to feel the hot water on my skin. Hopefully, it will wash away the shame of what occurred in the alleyway.
I close my eyes as I step under the spray of water, relishing in the feel of it sliding over my already inflamed skin that hasn’t settled since leaving the alleyway. My hand rises to touch the base of my throat where Ace’s large hand was wrapped around it. I’m hoping his grip wasn’t tight enough to leave a mark. The last thing I need is to worry Liam more than he already is.
Ace’s crude words slam into my mind like a raging bull. The thought of him watching my every move, including having sex with Liam, reignites the fire in my core. A dull ache throbs between my legs, making my head dizzy. Images of his fingers brushing over my jaw and the way his scent consumed my very being only add fuel to the already raging fire.
Fuck .
This is the exact opposite of washing away my shame. If anything, I’m creating more as I think about Ace.
My fingers glide over my swollen lips, remembering the feel of Ace’s brushing against them with ease and determination, dominating my mouth like a starved man. Every lick and every suck went straight to my head, clouding my already tainted judgment.
“Shit,” I murmur as I lift my hand to rest on the wall in front of me. “Get out of my goddamn head.”
But even as I try to push any thoughts of Ace from my mind, I’m sucked right back in when I remember the way his ocean eyes watched me without shame and were filled with a passion I hadn’t seen before. Everything about him is intense and invading, but it only fuels the attraction I feel for him.
Maybe I’m the starved man desperate for a bite of the forbidden apple.
Without thinking, my hand drops to my aching core. If I don’t relieve the tension building, I fear I might burst apart at the seams. All because of the goddamn man who kidnapped me and is now stalking me.
I hang my head as my eyes flutter closed. My fingers brush over my clit. It’s desperate to be touched. I drag my bottom lip between my teeth as I circle it. A shiver races down my spine at the contact, and it takes everything in me not to moan, but I manage to swallow down the sound.
My fingers set a steady rhythm, circling the swollen bud as I chase some goddamn relief. I rock my hips forward, needing a little more friction. As intruding as always, Ace’s face flashes in my mind, eliciting a spark of electricity to spread beneath my skin.
“Shit,” I murmur as I continue to touch myself, that same electricity a soft hum as it courses through my veins.
I slip a finger inside me, nearly losing my goddamn mind as stars dance across my vision. I’m unbelievably wet, which I hate as it has everything to do with Ace, despite how much I don’t want to admit it. His filthy words and grip on my throat were all it took to get me to this point. And now I’m left to finish what he started.
A strangled gasp slips past my lips as I drag my finger back to my clit, my rhythm now relentless as I chase that high. Even as I barrel toward the orgasm waiting for me, I hear Ace’s voice in my head.
That’s it, little bird. Fuck your hand while you think of me.
And that’s all it takes. I throw my head back, gasping as the orgasm rips through me like an unstoppable force. I’m barely able to hold myself up on the wall as my body vibrates with electricity and fire I’ve never felt on my own before. The feeling is intense and mind-numbing, making my toes curl with a wave of pleasure.
Fuck. What the hell was that?
I run my hand over my wet hair, unable to think straight. God, I’m a fucking mess. I can’t believe I just got myself off thinking about Ace, the man who kidnapped and held me captive. While the orgasm gave me a moment of temporary relief, I’m even more on edge now than I was before.
“Pae?”
My eyes snap open at the sound of Liam’s voice. Heavy footsteps enter the bathroom, and my spine straightens.
“Ye-yeah,” I utter, my voice wavering slightly.
Guilt gnaws at my sides as I stare at the white shower curtain, knowing my fiancé is on the other side and has no idea of what I’ve just done.
“How was your day?” he asks, sounding awfully cheerful.
I clear my throat and grab my scented body wash, looking for some sort of distraction from my racing heart. “It was good. Busy day, as usual.”
“And you got home without any problems?”
If you count being cornered by my kidnapper and being pinned against a wall by his strong hand around my throat as he kissed the air out of my lungs, then yes, I ran into a major fucking problem.
“No problems at all,” I say instead as I lather body wash all over my body, hoping it’ll clean away the shame clinging to my skin.
“Good,” Liam says. “I’ll wait for you in the bedroom while you finish up.”
My heart thunders in my ears as I listen to his retreating footsteps. It isn’t until the bathroom door closes that I release the breath I have been holding.
God, what am I going to do about the situation I have found myself in?
On the one hand, I care for Liam. I mean, he is my fiancé after all, and we share a lot of memories together. But do I actually love him? Or am I simply tricking myself into thinking that I do for the convenience of living this wonderful life we share together and his ability to help pay for my mother’s medical bills?
But on the other hand, despite how fucked up it may be, I can’t deny the physical attraction I feel for Ace whenever he’s around. My body responds to his in a way that it never has for Liam or anyone before him. It’s almost as if his touch, voice, and presence brings me to life, fueling me with a fire I have never felt before. It’s addicting–and something I seem to crave when I’m alone and left with my thoughts about him.
I’m not in an ideal situation. I shouldn’t be even making this comparison when Liam and Ace are nothing alike. Liam is a politician, but he is sweet and kind, and Ace is a criminal who kidnapped me and is now stalking my every move.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. Surely, this has to be some fucked up dream.
But deep down, I know it’s not.
What do I do?
With a sigh, I switch the water off and step out of the shower. I take my time drying my hair and wiping the beads of water off my body before wrapping the fluffy white towel around my torso and walking into the bedroom.
Liam sits on the edge of the bed, his royal blue tie loose around his neck. The sleeves of his white button up are rolled up to his elbows, making the muscles in his forearms bulge. His gray eyes meet mine over the lip of the crystal glass perched in his hand. He sucks down the amber liquid before standing, his eyes not straying from mine.
I do my best to smile like I’m not losing my mind over the internal battle raging through my thoughts. “When I got home earlier you were on the phone, so I didn’t want to disturb you. But you seemed quite pleased with whoever you were speaking to.”
“Oh, that.” Liam tips his head back to drink the last of the whiskey before placing the glass on the bedside table. “That was my father. We were just chatting about how I’m now leading the polls by a landslide. If all goes well, and everything continues to work in my favor, I have a shot at winning the election in two months.”
I walk toward the dresser and pull open the top drawer. “That’s great to hear. I’m glad everything is working out.”
Despite my lack of knowledge about politics and the fact I have little to no interest in it, I’m still happy for Liam. He’s worked hard to get to where he is in his career, staying late at the office and working ungodly hours to put together his campaign, and putting in a hundred and ten percent into networking and ensuring he has the best team possible behind him so he can keep his seat. He works tirelessly for his constituents, from what he tells me. I don’t know much about it, but I’m glad his hard work is paying off.
I gasp when I feel Liam’s presence behind me. His fingers trail over the hem of the towel, teasing the skin on the back of my thighs as his breath fans my earlobe.
My heart rate spikes, but not because of anticipation or desire. No. If anything, it’s guilt.
Liam slides his hand over the curve of my ass to my hip, resting it there. He presses his hard cock against my ass, wanting me to feel him. “I think we should celebrate, Pae. Don’t you?”
I chuckle nervously, hoping he doesn’t pick up on the tension in my shoulders and my erratic heartbeat. He presses his lips to my neck, kissing his way down to my collarbone as his other hand slides up to tease where the corner of the towel is tucked over itself, securing it in place.
Before he can pull the towel away, I stop his hand and turn to face him. Lust coats his gray eyes as he stares down at me.
“Maybe not tonight,” I utter, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’m really tired and need to get dinner started. I’m sorry.”
Disappointment passes over his features as his hands come up to rest on my hips. He steps forward so that his erection is now rubbing against my stomach. “Come on, babe. Seriously? I’m in a good mood because of the news I just got, and I want to share it with my fiancée.”
I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. What am I meant to say to that? Sorry, I don’t feel like having sex because I fucked my hand in the shower at the thought of another man . Absolutely not.
I have every right to say no to Liam and leave it at that, but the happiness seeping into his features is only making the guilt chewing away at my stomach worse. I’ve betrayed him twice now with Ace, and it kills me that I’ve become a person who would do that. I can justify it all I like by telling myself that Liam is potentially cheating on me because of the women’s perfume on his clothes, but I have no solid proof.
Maybe this might be the distraction I need to get my mind off Ace. At the end of the day, Liam is my fiancé, and that’s not going to change. I’m going to marry him, whether Ace likes it or not. I also need to accept that fact.
Liam senses my hesitation, dragging his thumb over my bottom lip. “Fine, if you don’t want to have sex, can you at least suck me off? I want to see these pretty lips wrapped around my cock.”
I swallow hard and nod, fearing what my voice will sound like if I speak.
A grin splits across his face. “That’s my girl.”
With a flick of his wrist, Liam pops open the towel, and the material pools around my feet. As he undoes his belt and unzips his trousers, I lower myself to my knees, my heart thundering in my chest.
This is your fiancé, Pae. You need to forget about the monster stalking you and remember that this man is your life. Forget about Ace.
Liam shoves his pants down, freeing his hard cock. He slowly bumps the shaft as he guides it into my awaiting mouth. Now that I’m really looking at him, I can’t help but compare his size to Ace. Where Ace is huge and protruding veins, Liam is smaller and less impressive.
Stop it, Pae. Focus on your fiancé.
A hiss falls from Liam’s mouth when the head slips past my lips. “Fucking hell, Pae.”
I clasp my hands together on my thighs as one of his hands slips into my wet hair, holding me firmly in place, while the other comes up to cup my jaw. Even though I was meant to be taking the lead on this, it seems Liam has his own agenda.
Liam rocks his hips forward, pushing himself to the back of my throat, groaning as he does. “I’m going to win the election,” he grunts as he quickens his pace. “No one is going to beat me. I’m the best there is.”
He continues to praise himself as he fucks my throat, but I zone out at his words. Instead, I focus on the night sky out the window and how the stars twinkle a little brighter out here than it does further in the city. I’m not one to get easily distracted in moments like these, but it seems Liam is only looking to get himself off, not caring about me, so I may as well not even be here.
As Liam mercilessly drives his cock to the back of my throat, I feel his eyes on me, lurking in the shadows. He may be hidden, but he makes his presence known.
My heart rate spikes, and my hands grow clammy. Liam may as well be invisible because all I’m focused on is him .
No matter where he is, I know he’s watching. Waiting.