Chapter 5
Ikneeled before Edwin in a white gauzy gown that felt more like a cult worshipper’s garb than something a spectator would wear to a vampire blood ritual.
But I didn’t get a choice in what I wore.
I never got a choice in anything, something I’d only realized in the recent months that brought me so much rage it was easier to pretend I had a choice after all.
“This thing is so uncomfortable.” A voice sounded to my left. We all wore masks, but I knew Daphne’s voice anywhere.
“At least yours fits,” Simone, her sister, answered. Simone was bigger, like me. All curves, which the flimsy white fabric did little to form against.
Daphne and Simone had become the closest thing to sisters I’d ever experienced in my life. The fact they were the children of my captor meant little to me. They had as much in common with the infamous vampire Lord Edwin Beckett as I had with the folks that were responsible for bringing me into the world.
Which was absolutely fucking nothing.
If anyone knew the old saying about blood not making you family, it was me.
“Come kneel before me, my sweetest girl.” Edwin’s voice grated on my every nerve. I hadn’t been bought all those years ago for him, otherwise I might have killed myself sooner than intended. I was meant for Thatcher, Edwin’s eldest son—someone who was not even allowed in this room during the blood ritual since he might seize the opportunity to take his father’s rule before his time.
I couldn’t blame Edwin for his paranoia. The old fuck was anything but dumb, especially when it came to his pretentious and volatile son. Thatcher had a hunger for power, whether it was over me or his sisters or his mom. It didn’t matter where he got power from as long as he had it and made sure everyone around him knew it. He’d told me as much in the decades I’d spent as his arm candy and partner in business.
The only blessing of my existence is the lack of forceful relations.
Isn’t that sad? The blessing is that I haven’t been raped or assaulted.
And the only reason for that is because Edwin forbade it and dangled me like a bone in front of Thatcher, as if I were a prize he was constantly keeping out of his reach. I shuddered, thinking about what would happen if Edwin ever died.
Thatcher was my true enemy.
The threat that kept me awake at night.
The number one reason why I had been alert for almost a century.
If Edwin had wanted an heir that wouldn’t overthrow him at the first opportunity, he’d done a poor job raising Thatcher. Instead, he raised the monster I’d soon be rid of when I finally ended my miserable existence.
That was the only end I saw for myself. Especially since Thatcher had grown bolder in the last few years, attempting to find me alone in rooms despite his father’s clear orders.
Edwin, the asshole he was, was the lesser of the two evils that faced me, so I’d do whatever I could to ensure his continued reign.
I stood from where I kneeled on the stone floor, ignoring the way my ankles ached from the prolonged sitting, and walked over to him. The hem of the cult gown reached my mid calf since the copious fat in my ass made it ride up. No matter how many times I’d been chastised, or made fun of, or simply beaten for the way clothes fit me, they never managed to get my size right.
It wasn’t my body that was the problem, it was the clothes. And the people who bought them for me who refused to take my measurements the proper way.
“I’m here, my lord,” I said quietly, announcing my presence so as not to startle Edwin. I learned quickly after arriving at the Beckett Castle when I had been barely twenty years old that I was best seen and not heard. I barely spoke at all anymore, letting my constant appearance hopefully be enough to not draw too much attention to myself. It never worked with Thatcher, but luckily Edwin tried to keep him away most of the time and recently had kept me home when he had to travel to a new club opening or important event.
“Good girl,” he said. My shoulders neared my ears at the phrase as bile climbed up my throat.
Good girl.
I stifled a gag. That term, no matter how much it had been used over the years, made me fucking sick. Edwin had called me his “good girl” on the first day I arrived at the castle. My young and na?ve heart thought it was a term of endearment, reserved for me because I was a good girl. I had listened to my drunk father when he said we were going to visit an important client of his. I put my hat on, hiding my snakes, despite how much my babies hated it. I had hated it too, but it was better than to embarrass my papa who loathed what I was. But instead of a client, I was dropped at the Beckett Castle gates. My papa rode off in the buggy that was our family’s only mode of transportation, changing the course of my life forever.
That was almost eighty years ago.
And those two fucking words still made my gag reflex pulse.
At least Thatcher wasn’t here.
He used it in a worse way than Edwin ever had.
I took a deep breath and kneeled before Edwin as he lay atop a cement table large enough to hold his big frame.
“The blood ritual should take the full twelve hours, and I expect you to not leave my side. You’ve been my good girl and abstained from eating and drinking for over seventy-two hours, so there should be no need for you to leave. You will remain here as my guard.” My stomach let out an involuntary growl at the reminder of his last command to me. And what had he called me? His guard? What a joke.
I knew better. I wasn’t his guard. I was his pet. His thing to show off to the masses and demonstrate his strength. After all, not just anyone was able to capture a gorgon.
No one bothered to point out that Edwin hadn’t captured me, I was gifted to him like a prized mare won at auction by my asshole of a father.
“You will not let any harm come to me.” I felt the magick pulse from his command into my marrow. He still held my main bond and was able to control me to a certain extent. I was thankful every day he hadn’t relinquished control of me completely to his son. “You have permission to unleash your gaze only on those who seek me harm. No matter who they are, they do not touch me. Understand, my sweetest girl?”
His black eyes met mine, sunken into his pale flesh. Normally, Edwin had no wrinkles on his pale British skin, but this close to his blood return, he looked hideous. The worn skin was tight and loose at the same time around his strong facial bones, the same strong cheekbones and chin as his son. Even his normally platinum-blond hair that females lusted after was dull and pale yellow in comparison. Vampires didn’t have soft edges or curves, they were ridged and muscled, toned and tight. But not before their blood ritual, where they had to replenish their entire supply in order to keep young. It only happened once a century, and it had been my luck that I was here for this one.
Edwin’s bony fingers grabbed my chin to give me a slight shake.
“Yes, my lord,” I answered, the words feeling like poison on my tongue.
“Good girl,” he said again, patting my cheek before looking at the rest of the room. “Where is my wife?” he asked the room. The only people allowed in here were myself, his daughters, and his wife, Francine, or Franny, as I was allowed to call her when we were alone.
Franny was nice. She kept mostly to herself, I’d learned after moving in, but I had gotten the impression early on in my stay, despite my youth, that she hadn’t wanted to be here anymore than I had. She had taken to me early on, and I thought she had tried to help me in her own way throughout the years. It was only when I was alone with her and her daughters that I felt any sort of familial bond with anyone.
For her keeping walls up, I knew she cared for me.
I recognized a fellow survivor and tried to keep her life and my own as easy as possible while we endured this existence.
Everyone that occupied Edwin’s inner circle seemed to be there by force.
“I’m here, my lord,” she answered dutifully. She wore black instead of white, and she also had a crown atop her head, signifying her role as High Priestess for her witch coven. I hadn’t known much about witches before arriving at the castle, but after spending time with her, I knew more than most probably did.
“Took you long enough,” Edwin chastised his wife with a snarl. “Get on with it. I don’t trust that son of mine to stay the course for long.” Edwin’s voice rasped at the command, continuing on trying to speak despite Franny already working her magick. She laid hands on Edwin’s chest and pushed him into the cement coffin, closing the lid.
I felt the magick of the bond he forced on me when I arrived, the same bond that kept my gaze under his control, snap taut, reminding me of his order to stay by his side and not let anyone near him.
Franny was the only one because she had to touch him for her magick to work.
We’d rehearsed this many times.
“We have five minutes,” Franny whisper-shouted, looking up frantically at her daughters.
That, however, we hadn’t rehearsed. My eyes shot up at the sound of Franny’s voice—her true voice that was much deeper than the one she used in front of Edwin. I heard rustling from behind me and looked, taking in Daphne and Simone as they pulled out items from under their white gowns.
“What is this?” I asked, feeling that same tug and pull from Edwin. Something was wrong. I could feel it.
Protect. The command whispered into my soul.
“Can you hold the top of his coffin for a few minutes, dear?” Franny asked me, eyes carrying that desperation.
I had no clue what was going on, but I trusted the three women in front of me, and technically they hadn’t harmed him yet.
“I can try, but I’m already feeling the urge to protect him.” The worst part of the magickal tie he forced on me, tethering me to him and his blood, was the inability to use my gaze on him, or anyone, unless he willed it.
My gaze.
Mine.
He had weaponized me from the first time I arrived here. Using my gorgon blessing for his own will.
The girls rushed around the casket, flinging herbs, lighting candles, and painting symbols over the worn-out wood and stained cement. Edwin was silent within, but that didn’t mean much according to the prep work we’d done. He wouldn’t be conscious for the blood return ceremony. He would just lay there while Franny did all the work.
Something that probably happened more than just for this ceremony.
Without warning, my body rushed from holding the top of his coffin and shoved Daphne away, sending her sprawling on the cement floor across the room.
“Shit! I’m sorry!” I said between clenched teeth. I closed my eyes, making it so they couldn’t hurt the only three people I cared about in the entire world. “Please hurry with whatever you’re doing. I can’t hurt you. I can’t,” I pleaded.
“We’re going, Vinni. I promise we’re getting you out, sweetheart.” Franny sounded out of breath. They were choosing their words carefully, not outright saying they were harming him.
I felt a soft touch against my hand, knowing it was Simone offering me comfort by the sound of her voice in my ear. “We’re getting out. Just keep strong, Vinni.”
Their nickname held me in the moment.
Getting out.
Getting out.
Getting. Out?
My brain heard the two words but didn’t let them sink in fully.
The next few minutes passed in a blur. Sounds of chanting in all three of their voices filled the room, the smell of smoke invaded my nostrils, and I sensed light passing on the other side of my eyelids.
The magick pulling me to Edwin grew and grew. My strength was wavering.
“I can’t hold on,” I managed to get out before I threw myself at the casket and opened my eyes, feeling my own power pulse under my skin.
“SHUT YOUR EYES, GIRLS!” Franny yelled at her daughters as I hunched over the cement block, staring down anyone who looked at me or meant my master harm. My vision was tinted red, and I felt the urge to burn the world apart to protect the piece of shit beneath me.
Even if it meant harming the only souls I loved, if I even could love at this point.
“I’m. Sorry.” I fought to release each word.
“Vinni, sweetheart, I need you to listen to me,” Franny yelled. I heard the items in the room start to rattle, felt the ground quake beneath me, and even heard what had to have been the cement cracking on the coffin. “I’m going to knock you out, but when you wake up, your bond will be broken and you will be free. I will find you again one day, Vinni. We all will. But we need to separate. I need to keep my girls safe.” Her voice was closer to me as she said the last part.
Her girls.
It shouldn’t have stung like it did. I shouldn’t have fooled myself into thinking I was one of her girls too.
I blinked the emotions away before I felt my limbs give out, and I toppled off the coffin.
“Thank you for sharing, Tonya,” Dr. Luna said to the room. It wasn’t a large gathering, which was probably for the best since this was the most depressing group therapy I was forced to attend as part of my residency in this weird little town.
There were only four of us in this group, and while it didn’t have an official name, it didn’t take a genius to figure out Dr. Luna’s motives for gathering us together every Sunday evening.
“Any volunteers to go next?” Dr. Luna asked, knowing there were only two of us who had yet to share.
“I guess I’ll go,” Lennox volunteered from the chair next to mine.
I’d gotten better the last couple months calling her by her name and trying to be more friendly. I’d been busy with the club opening, but I still made my daily coffee ritual a priority. She and I were the silent ones of the group, rarely offering to share anything about our pasts.
I was impressed by her tenacity in volunteering since I hadn’t female’d up and told my own truth in this circle yet. Thankfully Dr. Luna hadn’t made it a requirement that we share our sordid past, but I knew if another session went by without him forcing me, I’d be lucky.
“Excellent, thank you, Lennox.” Dr. Luna nodded. I saw Tonya and Kady, the other two members of our ragtag survivor’s group of bullshit, nod along as well. For someone whose trauma was the most recent of all of us, Kady seemed willing and eager to move past her time with Lady Orla.
I was beyond glad the female was already dead, or I’d have had to make a trip off the island to kill her myself after all Kady had shared.
Lennox cleared her throat. “I’m not sure where I should start.”
“Start with when you came to the island and what brought you here,” Dr. Luna advised.
“Alrighty then,” she began. The two of them were close, but that was another annoyingly admirable quality of the doctor; he kept his personal and professional lives in separate boxes. When he sat with a group or in his office, there was a significant Dr. Luna vibe he gave off—a vibe that wasn’t there when he was out socializing with Lennox and Cliona or any of the other alphas from our group. “I came to the island a few years ago. I’m human, obviously.”
I snorted at that but gave her a smile that I hoped wasn’t too menacing, something else I’d been working on with Dr. Luna since Lennox pointed it out. I’d been told several times since migrating here that I was too standoffish, too angry-looking, and generally had an aura of angsty, pissed-off energy that would only be tolerated for so long.
“I was into some bad shit back home in Portland. Got mixed up with the wrong people, you know, the bad boy partying type. And even though I like to party as much as the next girl, they took it to a whole other level.” I noticed her throat bob as she took a deep breath before continuing. “Turns out, I swiped right on one of the members of a Portland-based coven of misfits. He was… cruel. Just plain cruel. And I let it happen because I thought that was normal. That it was okay for him to pass me around to his friends. I convinced myself I liked it, and part of me did enjoy the sex. I love sex. Who doesn’t? Unless it’s bad sex, then obviously you probably don’t. But I don’t love sex when someone is pressuring me into it, you know?”
“Preach,” Tonya said, and I nodded in agreement. Boy, did I know. I ignored the temptation to avoid eye contact with the others.
“It went on for over a year. He isolated me, and despite my feminist and anti-patriarchal upbringing, I straight up let that shit happen. I let him control me when I didn’t even want to be controlled like that. I knew the signs to look out for, I had watched my mom go through this same shit over and over again. It’s a vicious fucking cycle once you’re in it. And you tell yourself ‘it was just the one time’ or ‘as long as he’s sober, he’s a sweetheart’ and so on. I told myself every excuse I’d heard my mom say over the years that I had berated her for and looked down on her for. I judged her so hard for not being strong enough to realize she was being abused.”
She wiped away a couple of stray tears that fell from her bright-blue eyes down her full cheeks and cleared her throat.
“I was belittled. I was made to think I was less than. I was drugged repeatedly without my knowledge. I was a blood bag, a punching bag, and a warm hole for him and his coven brotherhood to fuck whenever they felt like it.” She paused and took a deep breath.
“They were vampires?” I asked, shocking myself at my asking questions and not sitting in silence.
“Yup. And some other things. Some were even human. They were all assholes, though, no matter what they were on the outside.”
I chanced a look at Dr. Luna across the room and saw his jaw twitch, more than any emotion I’d seen in these group sessions from him before.
“But now you’re here?” Kady interrupted, her soft voice breaking the poignant silence with a question.
Lennox smiled softly. “Yes. I’m here. Turns out not all of his brotherhood was a fan of him keeping a sex slave and let Guille—” She held up her hands immediately, sharing a pointed look with Dr. Luna across the room. “Sorry, sorry, I know it’s Dr. Fucking Luna when in the office. I can see how you want to tell me off from over here. Fuck right off with that, Guille. Anyway, the lead asshole let DOCTOR LUNA know.” She overenunciated while the witch looked amused more than annoyed, clearly happy she was moving on to the part where she wasn’t with the band of bastard abusers anymore. “Next thing I knew, I came here, and the rest is history.”
The ending was rushed, and I knew there had to be more than she was sharing. I couldn’t blame her. She shared more than I expected, more than I think any of us expected.
“Thanks for sharing part of your story with the group, Lennox.” Dr. Luna nodded, and then the ridiculous Addams family cuckoo clock chimed to notify us of the end of the session. “And it looks like that was the end of our session.”
“Can I say something before we leave?” I interrupted, shocking him and everyone else. Hell, even me, if I were honest. But Lennox’s sharing inspired me. And I needed to get a last thought out.
Since losing my shit with Arch and fleeing into the frozen woods like a coward, I’d had a lot of time to process my feelings. Even with throwing every spare moment into the club opening, I hadn’t let that stop me from figuring my shit out.
Listening to Lennox speak her truth hit something in me I wasn’t used to.
Dr. Luna nodded along with the others, who were probably eager to hear me share.
You got this, Luxor said.
I felt the other snakes nuzzle into my neck in comfort.
“I know I haven’t shared a lot. And I know I’m supposed to.” I let the guilt hopefully show on my normally non-expressive face. “It sounds like I have a lot in common with two humans and a fae female than I would have thought possible after listening to you all share the last couple weeks.” I took a deep breath. “I’m not ready to get into the nitty-gritty yet. And I’m not sure when I will be. But I need everyone here to know that I have heard each of your truths, and they are not lost on my ears. Females are often seen as the weaker sex by many races, not just humans.”
“Fucking fascist pigs,” Lennox muttered.
“Pieces of garbage,” Kady agreed.
“Dickbags,” Tonya offered.
I didn’t stop the laugh that boomed out of my chest. I really was in good company with these females. “Yes. Exactly. Even though I am powerful and considered an alpha and rare female, I was captured and held for many decades before coming here.” I swallowed down the urge to change the subject or minimize what had happened to me.
“I barely escaped with my life. I’d even planned to end it all before I was freed of the blood bond.” I hadn’t shared that part even with Dr. Luna in our alone sessions because it was embarrassing to me now. It probably shouldn’t be, but I hadn’t liked that I was so low I was legitimately thinking of taking my own life. “I think, only recently, I stopped functioning as if I am on the run or being held against my will. So, please understand.” I paused to choose my next words very carefully. “I am proud to witness your truths. Tonya, the snarky human female healer. Kady, the kind and gentle fae warrior. And Lennox, the ballsy human barista. I hold your truths near, and I will do better to share my own truth going forward. Even if it is a little at a time.”
I sighed.
I’m proud of you. Titi praised me.
Yes, we are all proud of you, Luxor confirmed, followed by the other six of my babes humming their own agreements into my mind.
“I want ‘Ballsy Human Barista’ on a T-shirt ASAP, bro. What’s Guille’s title? He has to have one, too, right?”
The others all chuckled.
“The puppet master, for sure.”
“Aye dios mio,” he muttered as the rest of the group laughed it up at my title for him.
“Fuck yes, sign me up,” Lennox cheered.
“If you are making shirts, I would like one too, please.” Only Kady would be so polite in our small group.
“I technically do heal skin as an aesthetician. That’s the coolest description for facials and waxing I’ve heard. Don’t tell Anya, though, she would be offended,” Tonya added.
“I think my point was missed, but you know what I mean.” I was slightly embarrassed by my emotions but glad we were in brighter spirits as we exited.
I wasat the club a few hours after the meeting. The walls were up, the paint was dry, and I was slowly adding personal touches around. I also had an office that wasn’t completely set up yet, but it was close enough.
Valentine’s Day was quickly approaching, which meant the grand opening weekend was right around the corner. I’d been having trouble finding entertainment acts despite opening the mic at the last couple town council meetings for suggestions. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that my club was a sex club, or adult entertainment only, or what was holding folks back, but the stress was starting to get to me.
“Lavinia?” a voice called my name, shortly followed by a knock. I saw the pink hair and knew Lennox was stopping by to probably check on me after the uncharacteristic display of emotion on my part at group.
I didn’t feel like speaking, but something about the tiny human told me she would understand out of anyone why I was the way I was.
She had been kept, like me.
She had been imprisoned, like me.
She had been held against her will and used like she was nothing but a piece of property for part of her life too.
I may have been held under a magickal bond, but she’d been manipulated into thinking she was trapped too.
She took a seat in one of the black leather winged-backed chairs facing my desk and wasted no time in putting down a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and two small glasses. She poured to the tippy top of each and then brought it up in the air, waiting for me to join her.
Alcohol wasn’t my usual vice, but it would have to do.
“To ending the patriarchy,” Lennox announced before downing what had to have been at least three or four shots in one go. She didn’t make any expression on her face from the burn of the alcohol. She simply poured another and then offered me more when I set my own empty glass next to hers.
“You don’t have to talk about it.”
I took a deep breath. I didn’t have the strength to talk about what the Beckett vampires did to me, how Edwin and Thatcher had wielded me like a weapon, or even the better parts like how Franny, Daphne, and Simone had become like family to me.
Luxor hissed in comfort and wrapped tighter around his brothers, comforting them all.
No one really knew how my snakes worked, but I knew that they were overly protective of me in the same way a pack of older brothers might be. They actually reminded me a bit of the Hemlock pack, always looking out for me even if no one else understood their language. They kept me sane when I was held with Edwin and Thatcher. They kept me comforted when I was having emotions that would have resulted in punishments.
“That one is Snake Daddy Luxor, right?”
Lennox surprised me. I didn’t often say their names out loud, it felt private to me. I also spent almost eighty years protecting them as fiercely as they tried to protect me.
“Yes. Luxor is probably the most demanding of them all.”
He hissed at me as if I had insulted him. Lennox giggled.
“Is it rude to ask to pet them?”
“Thank you for asking. They get to decide; trust and believe they will let you know if it isn’t welcome.”
She reached her dainty hand out, and to my complete and utter shock, Luxor abandoned comforting me to wrap his entire body around Lennox’s wrist, even elongating himself to show how long he truly was—something he rarely did even when we were alone.
“Wow, what a friendly little guy,” Luxor hissed and nipped at her hand at the insult. “Sorry, what a fearsome badass viper.” Luxor nodded and continued rubbing against her palm for another moment before retreating back to me.
“They never act like that with anyone.”
“Are you saying I’m”—she paused to flip her pink hair out of her face—“not like the other girls?”
I laughed.
Six months in this haven. Six months after a century of abuse and being treated like property, and I was in my very own sex club, something I did all by myself without any help from the Becketts, something I created with my own mind and imagination. Six months and I was here giggling with a female who I was considering more and more like my friend by the moment.
“Remember you sharing about the vampire coven that captured you?”
She nodded in answer.
“I have a similar story. Only I was held for eighty years and put under a magickal blood curse that kept me and my snakes as the property of one of the biggest vampire covens in Europe.” I took another swig of whiskey. “I was held as a commodity. As someone who had no rights to live. I was kept for the son of my captor so they might breed me into making their bloodline more powerful since vampires can’t procreate within their own species. My gorgon blood is highly sought-after. Especially a gorgon with a full head of snakes.”
“You were a prize to them,” she offered in acknowledgment.
“I was their power. They had their own, sure, but nothing like what I am capable of. When someone was able to get me out, I didn’t hesitate. I wasn’t going to end up with the son. His father was cruel but at least never touched me in a sexual way. I was always free to perform or entertain guests in the clubs, but it was never by force. Thatcher would have abused me mercilessly if his father hadn’t maintained the control he had.”
“Thatcher?” she asked.
I nodded.
“Fucking dumbass fucking name if you ask me.”
I snorted.
“Yes. He’s a prick. And guess what?”
“What?” she asked, pouring us another round. I felt the warmth of the alcohol already spreading to my extremities and knew I shouldn’t have anymore, but it felt like the time called for it. I braced for disclosing what had plagued me since I ran into Arch all those months ago in front of the town hall.
“You know his brother.”
Lennox’s mouth dropped open. I took my next drink down in one swig.
“No shit?” she asked, already knowing there was only one vampire in town that I’d bother mentioning.
“No shit.”