2
“We didn’t work out,” Jordy finally said.
Ryan kept drinking and Nico continued not to blink. After a moment Jordy had to break eye contact and appeal to his husband. “Is he just going to stare at me like that?”
Without looking, Ryan reached his hand to the left and snapped his fingers in front of Nico’s face.
Scowling, Nico blinked and pushed his hand away.
“German interrogation technique,” Ryan said. “Very effective. It’s the eyebrow. Ow!”
“How did you fuck it up?” Nico asked.
Jordy hunched his shoulders. “How do you know it wasn’t him who fucked it up?”
“If it was, you’d be talking about why he sucks.”
Ryan chewed a tapioca ball—he’d ordered pineapple bubble tea; the whole thing turned Jordy’s stomach—and then swallowed. “My husband has a point. You have a guilty conscience. Tell Uncle Ryan all about it.”
Jordy debated telling Uncle Ryan something else, but he couldn’t bring himself to be so rude after Ryan and Nico had saved him from not only a miserable afternoon, but a miserable and stressful home search. At least now he knew that he’d have room for Kaira when she arrived. He could even send her pictures, through Rowan, and ask what color he should have her room painted.
Besides, it was probably like excising a sliver. You couldn’t start to heal until you pulled it out.
“Same old story, I guess.” He stuffed a California roll in his mouth to give himself time to formulate the words. “We were attracted to each other, we acted on it, and I started thinking of him as more of a partner than an employee-slash-friend with benefits. I didn’t realize I was treating him that way, we never talked about it. Rowan got reasonably pissed off with me for dragging my feet on the nanny search, we fought, and I realized I fucked up, but it was too late.” He knocked back his cup of jasmine tea, which had gone cold. “I apologized, but he doesn’t want what I’m offering, so.”
Ryan and Nico exchanged looks. Nico pushed the last spicy tuna roll across the table toward Jordy, as if offering comfort.
That one was his favorite. Jordy ate it.
But apparently the tuna roll was just to lull him into a false sense of security. There were follow-up questions.
Or, more accurately, a follow-up inquisition.
“What you’re offering ?” Ryan repeated, raising his eyebrows. “Dude. I hope you phrased it better when you were talking to him.”
Nico picked up a piece of tempura. “It sounds like you asked him to be your mistress.”
“I didn’t ask him that,” Jordy protested. He wasn’t an idiot . “Anyway, it’s—whatever. When I asked him to come to Vancouver, I knew he’d say no. He just got his dream job. He made that pretty clear. But I had to ask anyway, right? Even my kid loves him.”
Another look. Nico snorted.
As though responding to a comment only he had heard, Ryan nudged him. “Hey, come on. I was not that bad.”
Whatever Nico was saying with his eyebrows, Jordy couldn’t translate.
“Okay, I was that bad,” Ryan capitulated.
Nico leaned forward. “Please tell me you didn’t ask him to come to Vancouver for your child .”
“Of course not,” Jordy protested. Although—
He’d been clear about why he wanted Rowan to come, hadn’t he?
“Please tell me,” Nico continued, “that you did not ask him to abandon his ‘dream job’ and move to Vancouver without telling him, in these exact words, that you love him.”
Jordy licked his lips. “Look, it’s—he isn’t interested, okay? I wasn’t going to just… humiliate myself.”
Ryan finished his bubble tea. “You, my friend, have not seen enough eighties romcoms.”
“Why would I watch eighties romcoms?”
Nico patted Ryan’s shoulder consolingly. “Never mind,” he said to Jordy. “He means you should humiliate yourself for love.”
“Love is humiliating.” Ryan shrugged. “At least if you’re doing it right.”
At first Jordy wanted to argue. That sounded wrong. Then he thought about how he felt right now, the gutted sting of rejection, feeling like he’d spilled his guts and bared his heart and been found wanting—it wasn’t like it would feel worse if he’d added please, I am in love with you .
And on the off chance that that somehow convinced Rowan to give a real relationship a shot, Jordy could not have given less of a shit about the groveling.
Ugh.
“Well,” Ryan said when Jordy didn’t say anything else, “all is not lost. We play in Toronto in January, so you can humiliate yourself then.”
“At some point the self-humiliation becomes stalking and not taking no for an answer,” Jordy pointed out.
Ryan wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, maybe. Do we need to switch to sake?”
Jordy sighed. “No. I need to chug a bottle of Nyquil again tonight.”
“Just dessert, then,” Ryan decided, and flagged down a server.
LATE NOVEMBER turned gray and grisly, as if Toronto missed having Jordy in it and was determined to make everyone who lived there miserable too. Rowan got an interesting new project at work when a local philanthropist passed away and left the university library her collection of first-edition classic British literature. He threw himself into cataloguing and preserving and resisting the urge to slap English professors’ grubby fingers with a ruler.
Kaira continued to tolerate Anna’s presence when Rowan wasn’t home, but as soon as he walked in the door from work, she clung to his legs and begged him for a story or to make her a snack or to watch Bluey .
It turned out living with a six-year-old with situational depression was exhausting and the depression was contagious. Kaira alternated between clinginess and angry outbursts with bouts of tears.
The situation only got worse the closer they got to Christmas and Kaira’s departure date, because Kaira now realized that the flight west would mark not only her reunification with her beloved father but Rowan’s departure from her daily life.
Rowan did his best to distract her—and himself—from missing Jordy. He kept their weekends busy with trips to museums and parks so they didn’t give in to the temptation to spend two days lazing on the couch.
The last week of November, the sky opened up early on a Saturday morning and dumped twenty centimeters of snow. The charm of snow—which had been rare during Rowan’s childhood—had somewhat worn away after a couple of winters in Toronto, where snowfalls quickly turned to dirty slush on downtown streets. But watching Kaira greet the morning with wide-eyed awe and press her face to the patio doors brought his own sense of wonder back.
He managed to wrangle Kaira away from the window and into the kitchen long enough to get them both fed, and then it was up to her room to put on clothes.
Kaira ran through the yard without a clear direction, yelling and jumping. Rowan recorded her mad dash through the yard and screams of “Look, Rowan, snow!” and “You can see my footprints!” But he pocketed his phone when she waved him over and declared that they had to build a snowman.
Luck was on their side, and the snow was perfect for snowball making. There wasn’t enough for anything ambitious, but they made a respectable Olaf-sized creation. They found some stones to make a face and sacrificed Kaira’s scarf with the understanding that they had to go inside soon anyway. Then Rowan took several pictures to “send to Daddy.”
Afterward, they drank hot cocoa and watched Christmas movies and snuggled on the couch. Rowan took more pictures to share with Jordy. He might still be heartbroken, but he couldn’t deny the man pictures of the kid he missed so badly.
Days later he wondered if it wouldn’t be the last good day together.
Kaira all but refused to do anything with Anna when Rowan was home, and bedtime and morning routines were getting longer. Two days after the snow, Kaira wet the bed. She woke up hysterical the next morning.
It wasn’t the last time.
The second time it happened, Rowan woke in the middle of the night to find Kaira at his bedside, teary-eyed and sucking her thumb.
“Poppet?” Rowan groaned. “What—? Poppet, what’s wrong?”
“I’m wet.”
Fuck. “Okay. It’s okay, poppet. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He scooped her up, heedless of her wet nightie, and carried her into the bathroom. Once she was clean and dry, he brought her back to her bedroom and got her into clean clothes and stripped her bed. Before he could remake it, she asked, “Rowan? Can I sleep with you in Daddy’s bed?”
He didn’t hesitate, just picked her back up and carried her to his—Jordy’s—bed and tucked her in. After changing his own shirt, he crawled in next to her. She scootched in close, curled toward him, thumb in her mouth and stuffed armadillo clutched to her chest.
“Night, Rowan,” she muttered around her thumb.
Rowan pressed a kiss to her hair and wondered what the hell he was going to do. Hopefully she wouldn’t have another accident. “Night, poppet.”
A few mornings later, Rowan was starting to seriously reconsider Kaira’s travel plans. Sending her on a cross-country flight with a woman she treated as a stranger at best and an interloper at worst… honestly, Rowan could think of too many nightmare scenarios to name. Just yesterday, Kaira cried because Anna had to drive her to school. Would she behave on a five-hour flight? Rowan imagined her screaming and news reports of a kidnapped child grounding the plane.
He was gearing himself up for an awkward call with Jordy, and maybe dragging his feet in denial, when he had to stay late for another staff meeting.
Marina raised her eyebrow and smiled when he walked in solo. “No kid this time?”
Rowan gave an anemic smile. “Fortunately we got the nanny situation sorted out.”
Not that another late-night meeting was doing Rowan any favors regardless. Kaira was not happy that he’d be missing bedtime, and Rowan anticipated some form of payback when he got home. Finding her still awake but calm or crawled into his bed were two of the milder scenarios he was imagining.
He definitely hadn’t expected a phone call an hour into the meeting from a frantic Jordy.
“Rowan,” Jordy gasped. “She’s gone!”
“What?” Rowan had ignored the first call, but when the second came in immediately on its heels, he had apologized and stepped away from the others.
“The alarm at the house is going off, and I looked—Rowan, she left the house!”
“Who did?” Rowan asked as patiently as he could over his racing heart.
“Kaira! The camera shows her leaving with boots and a backpack five minutes ago.” He sounded on the verge of a panic attack.
“Shite.” Rowan strode back to the table, grabbed his stuff, and headed for the door, apologizing and claiming a family emergency as he did so.
“Why aren’t you with her?” Jordy asked.
“I was at work. Did you call Anna?”
“What? No, I—”
“Hang up and call her. Then call me back. I should be in my car by then.”
He barely felt the bite of the wind as he jogged to the SUV. He was getting into the driver’s seat when he realized he’d left his coat in the library.
He jammed the button to start the engine and made himself take two slow, deep breaths. Then he set the nav system to give him the directions home. He didn’t have any spare brain cells to worry about Toronto traffic. Let Google figure out that part.
Just let her be okay , he prayed as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel at a red light that seemed to be on an agonizingly slow timer. At least she’d left the house of her own accord. No one had taken her.
She was a six-year-old alone outside in the dark in the winter. No one had taken her yet .
Rowan was going to throw up.
Ring , he silently begged the phone. Please.
The GPS indicated thirteen minutes until he made it home.
The QEW was clear, at least as far as the QEW was ever clear.
Eleven minutes.
How long had Kaira been outside before Jordy called? Had she dressed warmly enough? Was she—
The ring of the phone sent Rowan stabbing for the Answer button. “Hello!”
“She’s got her,” Jordy said thickly, all in a rush. “She’s—she’s in Clem’s treehouse. Anna just had to follow the footprints—”
“Thank fuck it snowed,” Rowan blurted. Without thinking about it, he eased off the accelerator. Thank fuck they hadn’t used all of the snow on that snowman. Thank fuck it hadn’t all melted into a slushy mess already.
“—but Rowan,” Jordy said, still urgent, “Anna can’t get her to come inside.”
“Okay.” Rowan took a deep breath. “Okay, it’s fine. I’ll be home in, like, ten minutes, I’ll get her to come inside. Anna’s not going to let her freeze to death.”
“I know. I know .” Rowan was pretty sure Jordy was repeating it to make himself feel better. “Just—fuck, I can’t—I have to play a game in an hour. What if I hadn’t looked at my phone ?”
Rowan’s hands shook. “Jordy, uh, I can’t—I’m driving right now. Okay? So you need to not, uh. Not freak out on me.” He exhaled. That shook too. “Not freak me out. I’ll call you when I’m with Kaira.”
“Yeah, okay—sorry. Fuck. Sorry.”
“I’ll call you soon,” Rowan promised, and he hung up.
He didn’t bother parking in the garage. He left the SUV crooked in the driveway, blocking Anna’s vehicle.
He didn’t bother grabbing a coat from inside either, or changing out of his dress shoes. Not three steps into the yard, his feet had turned to pre-popsicles. “Kaira!”
The neighbors’ yard had a gate. Enough snow had drifted up against it to stop it from opening more than a foot or so. Rowan squeezed through. “Kaira!”
“Here,” came Anna’s voice. As Rowan’s eyes adjusted to the dark, he made out her form at the base of the playhouse. She wore a long coat pulled on over pajamas and boots with the laces untied. She looked especially small and pale in the moonlight reflected off the snow. “She won’t talk to me—I can’t get her to come in—”
Rowan caught her by the elbows. “Go back to the house and put the kettle on, okay? And run a bath for Kaira.”
She nodded, obviously grateful to have someone to defer to. “Okay. I’ll—okay.”
Rowan heaved out a breath and climbed the ladder to the treehouse.
Kaira sat curled up in the corner, hugging her legs for warmth. In the dim light cast by her tiny Cars flashlight, her cheeks were red with cold, her eyes swollen and puffy.
Rowan’s heart twisted, but something else came out ahead of the sympathy. “Poppet, what were you thinking? You scared me half to death.”
Kaira’s lower lip trembled.
Unfortunately that didn’t stop the next words from popping out. “Your dad is beside himself, you could have been hurt —”
Kaira let out a sob and curled up farther into the corner.
Oh hell. Rowan wiped a hand over his face. “Oh, poppet. Come here, please. I’m sorry, I was just so worried about you. Will you come inside, please? It’s freezing out here.”
She sniffed. “I wet the bed again. Like a baby!” The words came out in a wail. “I’m not a baby! I don’t need a babysitter! I don’t need a nanny! I want my dad!”
Oh hell . Rowan swallowed and held out his arms. “Right now you need to come inside before you get sick, poppet. Aren’t you cold? I know I am.”
She wiped her nose. “How come you’re not wearing a coat?”
“I forgot it,” he admitted. “I was so worried about you I couldn’t think. My feet are icicles. Please come inside?”
Finally she capitulated and let Rowan lead her back to the house.
He set Kaira up in the kitchen for the call to Jordy. While they talked, Rowan made Earl Grey for himself and a weak blueberry tea with honey for her. When she’d finished, he told Jordy he’d call him back, popped her in a quick bath to warm her up, and set her up in Jordy’s bed. Anna had put Kaira’s sheets in the wash, although at least there was less mess this time, as Rowan had purchased a package of “nighttime underpants” a few days ago.
He’d been surprised Kaira let him maintain the polite fiction that they weren’t diapers, but too relieved to let the surprise show.
“She’s getting worse,” Anna said when Rowan pulled the bedroom door closed behind himself.
He heaved a sigh. “I know.”
“It’s not—I don’t mean to be unsympathetic.” She tugged at the end of her ponytail. “She’s been through a lot. And I can see she’s a good kid. She wants to be a good kid. But she’s….”
“Struggling,” Rowan supplied.
“To say the least.” Anna settled in the armchair next to the fireplace and crossed her legs on the seat, cradling a mug of cocoa. “I think she might need to see a doctor, just in case.”
Oh fuck, Rowan had never considered that Kaira might have a medical issue. “I’ll bring it up with Jordy, but I’m sure he’ll agree.”
She exhaled gustily as though she’d been afraid he might not. “Okay, great. Uh. Can you…? I’m going to go to bed and cry a little.”
“Go,” Rowan told her. “You’ve earned the night off.” Besides, he had other things to do.
When Jordy picked up, he didn’t mince words. “I have ten minutes.”
“Kaira is asleep,” Rowan told him. “She’s—she was upset because she wet herself again, and I wasn’t here. I don’t think she wanted to go to Anna with it. She feels like a baby.”
“Fuck.” There was a hollow plastic sound. The thump of a helmet, maybe? “This is my fault. Poor kid.”
“It is not. You’re doing your best. Anna thinks we should take her to a doctor, just in case, though. To make sure she doesn’t have an infection or something.”
“God, yeah, okay. That’s a good idea. Can you take her to the clinic? Maybe tomorrow? I know it’s not convenient—”
“Jordy. I think work will understand that this is important.”
“Fuck.” In the pause that followed, Rowan could picture Jordy rubbing a hand over his face. “I hate that I can’t do anything from here. I feel useless.”
Rowan sighed. “I don’t think there is much to do except love her a lot while we wait it out. Things will start to get easier once you’re in the same city again.”
“I know.” Jordy sounded so bleak that Rowan wanted to hug him. “Doesn’t do much to make things easier in the meantime.”
Rowan cleared his throat. Here goes nothing. “I’ve been thinking about that. There’s no way Anna can take her on a flight. Like, literally. I’m pretty sure they’d kick Kaira off the plane.”
Jordy groaned. “Maybe my mom—”
“Jordy, I can do it.”
“What?”
“I can take her. I’ll be on holidays anyway, so I’ll have the time. I can take her to Vancouver.” Rowan let out a breath. “And I think knowing that might actually make things easier for her until Christmas.”
“Are you sure?” Jordy sounded small.
“Of course I’m sure,” Rowan all but snapped. Did Jordy think Rowan was heartless? Of course Rowan could take a couple of days to get Kaira across country.
“I don’t want to ask you—”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering. I mean, you’re paying, but I’m offering. I’ll take her as soon as school is out and stick around a few days to help her get settled.”
“Thank you,” Jordy breathed. “Rowan, thank you. I can’t—what? Fuck. I have to go. I’ll text later about the tickets.”
“Great. I’ll text tomorrow once I’ve got details about a doctor’s appointment.”
“Thanks. Again. Seriously. Thank you.” Before Rowan could tell him to stop thanking him, Jordy said a hasty goodbye and hung up.
DECEMBER BEGAN in a blur of back-to-back games and rushed road trips that left Jordy feeling his age and the loneliness of his very empty rental house. Vancouver was wet and cold and miserable, though Jordy was probably biased, as he was counting down the days to Kaira’s arrival.
The day after talking with Rowan, Jordy purchased two tickets to get Rowan and Kaira to Vancouver the Friday before Christmas, and waiting that long felt like remarkable restraint. Before Rowan had offered to bring her—which was definitely the right choice for Kaira’s happiness—Jordy had been on the verge of declaring “Fuck it” and begging and bribing Anna to bring her to him sooner and staying with them on the West Coast for a month until Jordy’s new nanny could start in January.
But thankfully, Rowan was bringing Jordy’s baby to him, and he breathed easier for the last few weeks apart. By the time Jordy buckled into his rental car and headed for the airport, the rental house didn’t look half bad and even had some Christmas décor to welcome the Christmas enthusiast and connoisseur that was his six-year-old.
Jordy had deliberately booked the tickets on an off day so he could be the one to greet Kaira and Rowan at Arrivals, even if it meant Kaira missed the last day of school.
Whatever, she would survive.
At the airport, Jordy shifted from foot to foot as he waited. Rowan texted once they were off the plane and again at the baggage carrousel. Jordy alternated between desperate looks at his phone and the door for more news.
There.
Rowan, taller than average, was easy to spot coming through the doors. For a second Jordy couldn’t breathe because he was completely blindsided by how good Rowan looked in person. He was one of those people whose beauty never fully translated to camera, and seeing him live and without a lens for the first time in weeks was a punch to the gut.
“DADDY!”
The crowd shifted, and Jordy’s focus was consumed by one thing.
He crouched down and caught Kaira as she surged past the barrier, and crushed her to him.
“Daddy, Daddy.” Kaira buried her weepy face in his collar. Emotions too big and numerous to process swamped Jordy. Guilt, relief, pain, joy. He cradled his baby close and cooed soft reassuring nothings in her ear.
“I’m here. I have you. Daddy’s here, peanut. I’ve got you.”
Someone touched his shoulder, and Jordy looked up to see Rowan at his side. “We should get out of here,” he said in an undertone with a pointed glance around.
Right. It might not be Toronto, but it was still Canada. Judging by some of the expressions on the onlookers’ faces, not everyone watching was simply moved by the emotion of the situation. Rumors of Kaira’s—and probably Rowan’s—arrival in Vancouver were sure to hit the internet soon.
Jordy stood without letting go of his baby and asked quietly, “You have the bags?”
Rowan motioned to the luggage cart at his side and waved off Jordy’s halfhearted attempt to help. “You’ve got her, I’ve got the bags.”
Thank God for Rowan’s long legs, because he matched Jordy’s anxious pace. Kaira was still clinging to Jordy. The sooner they could get out of view, the better.
Once they got to the car, Kaira calmed enough to talk, and she and Jordy rebonded with stories of her trip here while Rowan loaded the bags into the trunk and returned the trolley.
Now that Kaira had calmed down from the initial rush of seeing her daddy again, she was entranced by the adventure of seeing her new house. “Daddy, what color is my new bedroom? Can it be rainbow? Can I have an armadillo bed?”
Jordy buckled her into her seat and did his best to answer her questions, then stepped back to find that Rowan hadn’t yet climbed into the car but was apparently hovering in case he was needed.
One more thoughtful, Kaira-oriented decision that choked Jordy up. He gave in to the impulse and pulled Rowan into a bone-crushing hug.
The feel of Rowan once again in his arms settled something in Jordy he hadn’t even known needed soothing. He felt real and grounded for the first time since he arrived in Vancouver.
“Thank you.”
“Jordy,” Rowan protested.
“Shut up and let me thank you. You looked after and then brought me my baby.”
“Jordy,” Rowan repeated, but this time it sounded almost fond. He squeezed back for several heart-pounding seconds.
“Daddy, I’m hungry. Can we get ’Donalds?”
Jordy pulled back and offered Rowan a less-than-impressed look.
Rowan’s cheeks pinkened a bit. “Look, it was six very long weeks followed by a very long flight. We did the best we could, but promises had to be made.”
Fuck it. Jordy pulled him into another hug, briefer this time. He let go before Rowan could respond. “Just shut up and tell me your order.”
They ate in the car. It was rented on the Orcas’ dime anyway; what did Jordy care if the company charged them a cleaning fee? He even got everyone a McFlurry for dessert. Ice cream seemed called for. Jordy was celebrating having his family together again, even if only temporarily. Rowan might not love Jordy the way Jordy loved him, but he loved Kaira. That was enough.
It would have to be enough.
By the time Jordy pulled into the garage, his McFlurry was half melted, Kaira had talked his ear halfway off, and his heart felt full.
He put the car in Park, not missing Rowan’s raised eyebrow.
“No butler in this place,” he said apologetically.
“I like it,” Rowan said. “More house, less fortress.”
They brought the bags in while Kaira ran inside, too excited to wait for them. “Take your shoes off!” Rowan reminded her before Jordy could get the words out.
When Jordy turned to look at him, he hunched his shoulders sheepishly. “Sorry, I should let you—”
Jordy shook his head and nudged open the door with a suitcase. “You should quit worrying about it. You’ve basically been her parent for half a year. More than I have.” It hurt to say, but not more than it hurt that it was true in the first place. “I’m not going to get upset about it.”
Rowan set Kaira’s bag down in the entryway. “Well, that’s good to—” He cut off as he looked around. “Wow.”
Jordy didn’t realize what he meant until he put down the bag he was carrying and lifted his head to look around.
“Uh.” Jordy remembered buying Christmas decorations. He remembered putting up the tree and hanging the stockings.
He did not remember hiring half a dozen psychotic reindeer to deck his halls with brightly lit evergreen boughs, ribbons, and candy canes.
“You really went all out,” Rowan said.
“I really didn’t,” Jordy said. After another moment of looking around, he found a red-and-green sticky note on the back of the front door.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!—RW the foyer ceiling was twelve feet high.
Rowan cleared his throat and took a step back. Jordy let the moment break. What he had was enough, he reminded himself.
“Daddy! Rowan!” Kaira careened back toward them, beaming. “Look! It’s so beautiful!”
Jordy swept her up in his arms and planted a half-dozen kisses all over her face. “It’s just for you, peanut.”
“Can we see my room?”
Jordy gave them both the tour, starting with Kaira’s room, which Ryan and whoever “ their body clocks were set three hours ahead now.
“And this is your—um.” Jordy took a deep breath through his nose. “I mean, the guest room.”
Not that his slip mattered, when he opened the door. The room’s furnishings might appear generic and neutral, but he’d chosen accent colors Rowan favored—a lovely plum for the throw pillows and a pale sage for the armchair next to the window. There was a low bookshelf beside it with a lamp on top, a cozy little reading nook.
And a replica of the throw blanket Jordy had purchased at the New York Public Library, artfully draped across the arm of said chair, because Vancouver might be warmer than Toronto, but Jordy doubted Rowan’s circulation would improve.
For a long, painful second Rowan said nothing.
Jordy opened his mouth. “If you don’t like it—”
Rowan made a noise in the back of his throat and put a hand on Jordy’s arm. “No, it’s—it’s perfect. Thank you. You didn’t have to… I’m only here for a few days.”
In person, maybe. But Jordy didn’t think he’d get Rowan out of his heart anytime soon.
“It’s the least I could do.” He cleared his throat and finished wheeling Rowan’s suitcase into the room, then turned around to usher everyone back toward the communal living spaces. It was easier to keep his hands off Rowan when Kaira was so convenient and his arms had been bereft of his daughter for so long. He scooped her into a fireman’s carry—God, she’d gotten so much taller in just a few weeks—and carried her back toward the living room, speaking over her giggles. “So, I was thinking maybe Frosty and hot chocolate?” He set Kaira down less than gently on the couch, knowing she’d get a kick out of being thrown around like a sack of potatoes. “And then bathtime and bed for the weary travelers.”
Rowan and Kaira both made it to the end of the special and through their bedtime routines, but barely. Kaira was practically sleepwalking by the time Jordy led her to bed and tucked her in. When he returned to the living room, looking forward to some alone time with Rowan, he found him nodding into his chest.
Chuckling, Jordy shook him awake. “Sorry, Rowan, but I figured leaving you here was the worst of all options. Do you want to push through and stay awake? Or go to bed at… eight.”
Rowan groaned. “Bed. Someone woke me up at six.”
Jordy smiled. “You’ve had a long day. Come on, off to bed, sweetheart.” He nearly bit his tongue off when the term slipped out, but Rowan didn’t react to it, just grumbled as he tried to heave himself off the couch.
Now Jordy couldn’t hide his grin. He offered his hand and hauled Rowan to his feet, then made sure that Rowan safely stumbled to the guest room, wished him good night, and left him to his own devices.
ROWAN EXPECTED to wake up early. Instead, by the time he rolled out of bed in search of caffeine and sustenance, he found everyone else already awake… and discussing a surprise announcement for the day’s plan.
“The Orcas are hosting a family skate today.”
“Skate?” Kaira gasped, forgetting about her breakfast.
“Yup. Skate.” Jordy booped her nose.
“But Daddy, I didn’t bring my skates.”
Rowan strongly suspected last year’s skates wouldn’t fit her anymore, so it didn’t surprise him when Jordy said, “I got you new ones, peanut.”
“Oh. Are they pink? Did you buy skates for Rowan too? He didn’t bring any either.”
“I’m sure we can find Rowan skates if he needs some.” Jordy looked up and met Rowan’s eyes over the breakfast table, as though trying to apologize if this came across as an implicit promise.
“Yay!”
Meanwhile, Rowan was still several exchanges behind, his heart thudding as though it could salvage the situation if it could just distribute the caffeine more efficiently. “Family skate?”
Jordy broke their gaze. “It’s a family-friendly holiday party. Anyone who skates has fun on the ice. There’s tons of food and usually some off-ice activities. It’s fun.”
Family. Family. Family. But not Rowan’s family. Not for much longer, at least. “Oh.”
Jordy went on with a casual air that felt forced, “Anyway, Kaira and I will be going today, and I was hoping we could talk you in to coming too. There’s no pressure to skate, and you can say no, but you totally deserve to have some fun and eat free food on the Orcas’ dime.”
“Rowan has to come! He has to skate with us!” Kaira declared.
“Rowan doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to,” Jordy told her gently. “He’s welcome to, but he might have other plans.”
“But—” Kaira started to protest, but Rowan cut her off with a blurted, “I don’t skate.”
Kaira turned on him. “What? Never ?”