44
Zander
Threats Have Consequences
MY EYES STUNG FROM SHOVING brOWN contacts in. My hair still reeked of black hair dye. And I’d dressed so damn fast, I honestly didn’t know how I wasn’t wearing two different shoes.
Bolting out of the conservatory, I breathed hard behind my mask and slipped through the fence palings. Racing over her lawn, I caught sight of her as I cut around the side. She balanced precariously with one arm wrapped around the ladder and an open bin liner in the other. Her rubber gloves were already covered in decaying muck from reaching into the gutters.
“ Lori ! Get your ass down here, right the fuck now!”
Peng meowed and charged from inside, almost making me trip. Leaping over him, I skidded to a stop at the bottom of the ladder just as one of the old wooden rungs cracked and splintered.
My heart seized.
Sailor let out the quietest, “ Oh .”
And then she tumbled, mud and weeds flying, bin liner fluttering, and her highly breakable body tipping backward.
I didn’t think. I just acted.
Spreading my arms, I judged her trajectory and braced myself.
She landed as a dead weight, sprawling like a bride in my embrace.
“ Oof .” Staggering backward, I struggled to keep my balance so we both didn’t plummet into the flowers. My shoulders screeched. My arms trembled. I fought to find her center of gravity.
Her panicked eyes met mine as I finally stabilised and clutched her close.
For a moment, she didn’t move. She panted hard, shock switching to realisation of how close she came to breaking her back or worse.
I drowned in her vibrant blue eyes. I crippled beneath the thundering of my heart.
Emotions surged through me. Protective ones. Possessive ones. Grateful and angry and needy ones.
Christ , I’d missed her.
I hadn’t been aware how wrong life felt without her in it. How empty my arms were. How painful my loneliness had become.
I needed to kiss her. Touch her. Make sure she was okay.
But all I could think about was her deliberately putting herself in harm’s way. She’d been pig-headed and reckless, and it made me far too fucking angry. All those sleepless nights of watching out for her. All those moments I put my own well-being on the line to heal hers.
She owed me, goddammit.
She owed me for caring, and this was how she repaid me?
No.
Just no.
Not gonna happen.
“ You !” She shoved both hands against my chest, smearing my black t-shirt with gunk.
I tripped backward and dropped her. Her feet swung down just in time to keep her standing. Tripping away from me, she ripped off her dirty rubber gloves and tossed them onto the grass.
Balling her fists, she hissed, “What the hell are you doing here? How dare you—”
“What the hell am I doing here? What the hell are you doing?” I flung an arm at the decrepit ladder. “That relic is rotten to its core. It could’ve killed you!”
“Don’t be so dramatic. It wouldn’t have killed—”
“How about I finish the job? Seeing as you’re so determined to put yourself at risk!”
“Don’t you dare threaten me—”
“Why?” I stalked into her, seething behind my mask. “If your life means so little to you, then why should I care? Why should I do my best to keep you safe?”
What the fuck are you doing?
This wasn’t me.
I didn’t mean any of this, but…I couldn’t stop.
“I didn’t ask you to keep me safe, you asshole!” She bared her teeth. Peng bounced around with unhappy meows. Neither of us paid him any attention. “You’re the one who appointed yourself my protector!”
“And good thing I did. Otherwise, you’d be in fucking pieces right now!”
“I was already in pieces, you prick!”
“Then you’re welcome! I seem to have done such a bang-up job looking after you that you’re now healed enough to do idiotic things like cripple yourself!”
“I would not have crippled myself!” Her cheeks shot red with rage. “And you lost any right to worry about me the moment you ghosted me! You never showed at the movies. You never even replied!”
“I wouldn’t have had to ghost you if you hadn’t made me want you!”
“Oh, so this is my fault, is it?” She threw her hands up in the air. “Of course. Go ahead. Be the typical cliché moron blaming a woman for his behavior. His stalking, spying, shady stupid behaviour!”
Snatching her around the shoulders, I held her tight. “Careful, Lori. Be really fucking careful.”
“Or what? You’ll leave again?”
I panted hard behind my mask, my fingers digging deep. Beneath my fury, bone-breaking gratefulness flooded me. She was still alive, still whole, still mine.
Mine.
She’s always been mine.
My voice lowered to a growl. “Or I’ll take you into the house and show you exactly how furious I am.”
She quaked with a full-body shudder then shoved my hands off her. Her eyes flooded with heat. “No, you won’t. You would never lay a finger on me and that’s the damn problem!”
“I remember laying three fingers on you if I’m not mistaken,” I hissed, uncontrollable lust arcing through me. “And a tongue.”
A wicked glint appeared in her molten stare. “Funny, I remember begging for more and you refusing.”
“You weren’t ready.”
“Don’t tell me what I was or wasn’t, you pompous jerk.”
“You were still covered in bruises—”
“And I wanted you to paint me with new ones. Ones I chose!” Her rage billowed to match mine. Curling her fist, she struck me in the chest. “You were so intent on fixing me, you didn’t see what was right in front of your face. Why did you have to make me feel that level of pleasure, huh? Why did you awaken me to all these feelings and then have the audacity to just vanish .” Hitting me again, she snarled, “I’m so pissed off at you. I hate that you’re here. I hate that you’re still trying to protect me all while being so stupidly blind.” Laughing, she shrugged. “But you know what? It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t want you anymore. I’m not some victim anymore. I’m not some breakable doll to wrap in bubble wrap. I’m alive and horny, and I’m done playing whatever game this is. So go away, X. Vanish like you always do. Leave me alone so I can find someone else who will give me—”
“You’re not finding anyone.”
“You can’t stop me. I’m going to pick a guy who—”
“No way in hell is that happening. No fucking way am I letting another man touch you. Ever. ”
“You don’t own me! I can do whatever I damn well want!”
My heart pounded as I gave in to the possession, the obsession. “Try me and see what happens.”
“Okay, fine. Let’s see what happens. Tell you what, I’ll go out right now and find a guy to do what you refuse to do, and you can damn well watch .”
“Last warning.” My voice resembled tar and gravel. “I’m not in the mood to fight with you.”
“Well, I am. I’ve been in the mood ever since you first touched me!”
“I need you to go inside. Right now.”
“More demands, huh? Alright, two can play at that game.” Stepping toward me, she hissed, “What I need is for you to come here and kiss me.”
My cock almost crawled out of my black slacks.
I shook and shattered and clung to the last shreds of my self-control. “I don’t come on command.”
“You sure about that? Pretty sure you came last time.”
“Careful—”
“No, you be careful.” Her smile was nasty. “Just go away, alright? Your threats won’t work because I know they’re empty.”
I went fatally still. “You don’t think I’ll punish you for putting your life in danger?”
Stop right now.
This wasn’t safe.
The doctor in me screamed to end this. This fight careened toward one conclusion. A conclusion that would scramble all her healing and leave me as the guy who hurt her.
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Actually, I think you’re repressed and afraid and would rather walk away than let yourself go.”
“I let go, and this won’t end well.”
She sniffed with arrogance. “For you, probably. But for me, I’ll get what I’ve been begging for all along.”
It was my turn to quake and burn and yearn .
My thoughts turned black. If I gave in, this wouldn’t be nurturing and nice. I wouldn’t be able to give her sweet and soft. Fucking her when I was this angry would be like a physiotherapist allowing his patient rehabbing from a broken leg to enter a marathon.
It’ll break her all over again.
“Go inside, Lori. Lock the door.”
She smiled with a terrible little grin. “Nope. You know what? I’m going to do exactly what I said and find a man who’s willing to follow through on his threats.” Spinning away, she flounced toward the back door. “See ya.”
My teeth cracked I clenched so hard.
What the fuck are we doing?
This didn’t even make sense.
“You dare approach another guy, and I call in all my debts.”
She turned back to face me slowly. “What’s that supposed to mean? Debts? What debts?”
I tried to stop words from forming.
I did my best to be better.
I failed.
My boot-encased feet thudded toward her as the politeness and professionalism I’d clung to all my life cracked piece by piece. “Did you honestly think I’ve been keeping you safe all this time for free ?” I cocked my head. “That I’ve invested so many hours into making sure you were whole again just so another man could have you?”
Fuck, what are you doing?
Her eyes bugged, desire pooling like blue addiction. “W-What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that you are mine . If you want a man—an undeserving man who might hurt you, use you, and disrespect you—then I suppose that man will have to be me.”
She gulped and backpedalled toward the door.
I waited to see fear. To see panic. All I saw was her chest heaving and lips glistening and her surrendering to everything that I’d promised.
I hunted her. Slowly. “Where are you going? Suddenly afraid?”
She scrambled for words. “O-Of course not. I’m not afraid of you.”
“Good. Then come here and prove I’m the only man permitted to touch you.”
Her nose stuck up. “I’m not yours, you jerk. I’m my own person. I’m—”
“You might think that, but you’re not. You’re mine , Sailor Rose. And you owe me for every night you made me hard watching you through the window. You owe me for every morning you made me fall in love with you watching you in the garden. You owe me for every smile and touch and moment. You’ve driven me insane. You’ve turned me into someone I don’t even recognise. And I’m done. You want to see me snap? Congratu-fucking-lations. You’re about to get your wish.”
“H-How do you know my full name?”
Black spots in my eyes.
Faintness over my thoughts.
Fuck, I just slipped. I should apologise. I needed to get a grip on myself and stop being this asshole.
But…I’d given in.
There was no going back.
“You know what?” I bared my teeth. “I’m done with this.” Stepping into her, I grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her over my shoulder. Spanking her ass, I stalked toward the back door and sidestepped the orange kitten chasing us.
“Put me down!” She pummeled my back. “X, what the hell?”
I couldn’t talk.
I literally couldn’t string two words together.
I was too afraid, too annoyed, too worked up. I shook my head and spanked her again. Not hard but not gentle either.
Carrying her inside, I waited until Peng dashed over the threshold before slamming the door and tossing her onto her feet.
The second she was free, she backed up and shoved a finger in my face. “Get out. Right now.”
“No.” Balling my hands, I stalked her. Any remnants of who I was, the oath I took, the decisions I’d made to be the best guy I could be were shredded by my feet by the very real knowledge, the very painful agonising knowledge that if I’d been just a second later, she would’ve been hurt so, so badly.
And it would’ve been her fault.
Her stupid, stubborn fault because she didn’t want to rely on anyone.
I was so sick of people relying on me, but in one idiotic move, she’d proven she didn’t need my help anymore.
And I was done.
Done protecting her.
Done mollycoddling her.
If she was brave enough to climb up a ladder and flirt with certain death, then she was healed enough to deal with me.
Her back crashed against the wall by the fridge in the same spot where I’d kissed her the last time.
I’d found a limit to my self-control that night.
I’d strayed over a line and kissed her harder than I’d ever kissed anyone.
And now, I found another limit.
I found a temper I never knew I had.
A temper that chewed through all my politeness and made me fucking rage .
Slapping my hands on either side of her head, I trapped her against the wall. “Does this feel like an empty threat to you?”
Her palms landed on my chest, trying to shove me away.
I absorbed her push, barely rocking on my feet.
Her eyes narrowed. “Stop crowding me.”
“I’m done taking orders from you. I’m done treating you gently. If you can put yourself in danger, then why the fuck can’t I?”
“W-What do you mean?”
“You want me to give you what you want? Alright then.” My gaze dropped to her parted lips. “I’m going to give you everything you asked for, and I’m not going to stop until both of us are broken.”
Clamping my hand over her eyes, I wrenched down my mask with the other. “Oh, and by the way, you should probably pick a safe word.”