Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
ARRIANA
I text as Mom drives us through the snow-covered forest.
Me: What are you doing for the rest of the day?
Nico: Sitting outside your house, making sure nobody’s sneaking around. Mostly, I’m thinking. But no matter how hard I think, I can’t figure out how to get Lucy away from Dominic without causing him to retaliate. If her well-being didn’t matter to me, I’d have to respect what she did. In one move, she placated him. She forced him to back off. Made him think he’s the winner.
Me: But he’s going to hurt her,
Nico: Yes.
I stare at the confirmation, my head aching, my nerves feeling sharp and on edge. It’s only been a day since I saw Nico, but it feels like much longer. I want him to hold me, to put my cheek against his hard, muscled chest, to hear and feel his heartbeat pounding against me.
Me: I wish we could forget about all this crap for a while. Even though it’s selfish to think or say, it’s true. I wish we had a chance just to be, you know?
Nico: What would that look like for us, Arria?
Me: Maybe we could go on a date. Go to a nice restaurant and talk about nothing important, the lenses I use for my camera or your workout routine. I don’t know. Something light. Something that doesn’t constantly feel like we have the weight of the world bearing down on us. Afterward, we could take a walk and snap some photos. Be together.
Nico: That sounds like heaven right now. For the record, my workout routine is simple. I go crazy on myself, then collapse in a heap.
Me: ‘Go crazy’ on yourself, hmm? Are we still talking about working out?
Nico: That’s the sort of stuff you need to get out of your head for tonight, my angel.
He adds an angel emoji.
The world might have fallen apart, but our world, made of words, emojis, and touchscreens, suddenly feels fuller and brighter. It makes me smile when I know I should do anything but.
Me: I think that’s the first ever time you’ve used an emoji with me. I must be rubbing off on you.
Nico: It’s the first time I’ve used one, full stop. You’re teaching this ancient dog new tricks.
Me: You’re not VERY OLD, you jackoff. By the way, I love the ‘angel’ nickname.
Nico: It’s true. When you text me, I feel like I’m speaking with an angel. I’m not so fond of my nickname, though. Jackoff…
Me: Don’t call yourself old, then.
Nico: I’m almost twice your age, Arria.
Me: I hate to remind you again, but I’m a fully grown woman capable of making my own decisions. I don’t need Dad telling me who I can and cannot care about, and I don’t need you using your age as an excuse. We’ve got enough roadblocks without adding that one.
Nico: That’s the truth.
“You’re smiling,” Mom mutters, almost like an accusation.
I tuck my phone away. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” she says, breathlessly. “It’s nice to see you smile. It’s nice to see you able to forget, just for a little while.”
“I haven’t forgotten about Aunt Lucy,” I tell her.
“You don’t need to sound defensive. Really, I mean it. When we lived in California, I always secretly hoped for you to find some friendly boy and smile like that as you texted him. I’d see other girls in cafes, at the library, wherever, and I’d think, Why doesn’t my Arria let herself experience that happiness? ”
“You just didn’t expect it to be with your brother-in-law.” I sigh.
“He’s not exactly appropriate, is he?”
I shake my head. Mom doesn’t seem as outright hostile to the idea as Dad, but it’s not like she’s all for it, either. “No, not really.”
“Not,” Mom says quietly. “His age. His relationship with the family. That you , little lady, seemed all eager to go traveling before you got wrapped up in this. But I have to be honest; seeing you smile like that feels like a dream come true.”
Mom’s voice cracks. Her eyes glimmer.
“Mom, pull over.”
She pulls up at the side of the road and cries. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. She gasps and clings tightly to me.
“It’s going to be okay,” I whisper.
“He’s given so much. Years of his life to keep Lucy safe. I know why she wants to repay the favor. But I can’t stand the thought of her giving herself to that sick, evil man. I can’t bear it.”
“Nico will find a way,” I whisper, even if I probably shouldn’t. I’ve got no way of knowing if that’s true. But I know one thing. I trust him.
With Dad working late, Mom, Nico, and I sit at the dining table for dinner. It’s so difficult being in Nico’s physical presence without completely losing my mind. I think he’s going through the same struggle, sitting upright, his forearms seeming to swell in his tight-fitting shirt like the fabric’s going to tear. His hair glimmers in the light. His green eyes look anywhere but at me.
“This is delicious, Sandy, thank you,” he says.
“Burger and fries, can’t go wrong,” Mom mutters. “How’s work, Nico?”
He laughs darkly. Mom laughs with the same quality. They don’t have to explain why they’re laughing when nobody’s made a joke.
“We’re all trying to force some normal dinner scene,” I mutter. “But we all know it’s impossible.”
“Yeah,” Nico says, glancing at me for the first time. His entire body stiffens when he catches my eye. He looks away quickly as if he can’t let his gaze linger too long. Warm tingles dance over my body. It’s like he’s going to turn into an animal again, just like he has every other time our lust has exploded. He won’t be able to stop himself.
“You’re seeing the lawyer tomorrow,” Mom says.
Nico sighs. “We’re going to rush through the divorce.”
“And then a wedding,” Mom mutters. After a pause, Mom says, “What happens if Dominic and Enzo die?”
I gasp. “Mom. You can’t ask Nico to do that.”
Mom takes another sip of her wine, her eyes glassy with intoxication and sadness. “It’s a fair question.”
Nico thinks for a moment. “There could be a mafia civil war. Their lieutenants might come after me for revenge. But then again, they might not. It all depends on the fallout—on who ends up in charge. It would be unpredictable.”
“What if they went missing?”
Nico smirks, but there’s no actual positive emotion in it. It’s more like he’s a predator considering his options. For a terrifying yet captivating moment, he looks like the Nightmare, like the man he must’ve been when working for the mob. “That’s a different matter,” he says. “In fact, it’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. Enzo and Dominic’s disappearance would dictate the mob’s next move, but no one can connect me to it. But it’s not as easy as that. It would involve luring both of them someplace where I could get my hands on them.”
“Lucy will help,” Mom says.
“That sorts Dominic,” Nico mutters. “But what about Enzo?”
“I can help with him,” I say.
They both turn to me sharply as if suddenly remembering that I’m here.
“What are you talking about?” Mom hisses.
“I met Enzo, remember? He’s got an enormous ego. I bet if I went to the club again, he wouldn’t be able to resist coming on to me. I could lure him away. I could lie, saying I’m meeting Lilly after the club or something. He liked Lilly. We could rent an apartment, tell him that’s where Lilly lives…”
“Lucy could give Dominic the same address under a different pretext,” Nico says, looking at me with evident pride in his stark, penetrating eyes. “But it’d mean risking you, Arria. You’d be putting yourself into the damn lion’s den. We can’t do that. We need to think of another way.”
“He’s right,” Mom says.
“I’m a grown woman, remember?” I hiss. “I can make my own decisions.”
When Nico shakes his head, I snap, “If I can make my own choices about us , Nico, I can make my own choices about helping my aunt, about helping to get rid of two sick, twisted assholes!”
He leans forward, glaring at me. “You don’t want any part of it, Arria, believe me. Sick or twisted or not, whatever they are, something like this will eat away at you.”
“Maybe I’m stronger than you think.”
His lip twitches with a smirk, that same look of pride. Then the front door opens, and Dad walks in, looking tired from work. “What’s going on here?” he says, looking around the room.
“Nothing,” Mom quickly says. “Are you hungry? I can heat up your dinner .”
Dad glares at Nico. “Remember what we discussed earlier.”
“I remember, Rocco.”