Thank you, Daddy (The Good Girls #3)

Chapter 5

Chapter

Five

I slept like I hadn’t slept in years those first few days at Jesse’s place.

It was more than having a beautiful room that looked out over Wolverine Lake. Although, that was a nice perk. But the surroundings were nothing compared to the sense of security I had with Jesse.

He didn’t go to any of his businesses for the first four days. Instead, he stayed by my side while I lay in bed, sleeping and dreaming and hoping this was real.

A doctor came in once a day to check my vitals and administer some medications for the low level withdrawals I guess I was having. I didn’t realize my problem was such a problem, but Jesse was over the top about keeping track of everything.

Once, when I was so low I didn’t want to even get out of bed to pee or shower, he carried me to the bathroom. There, he lovingly took off my clothes and lowered me down into a steaming hot bath that smelled like fresh linen and rose petals... Such a contrast to him and the wood and hardness of his home.

He washed my back and neck as shameful, wonderful, filth-filled thoughts played on a loop behind my closed lids.

I asked for a Black Cherry Whiteclaw. Again.

But Jesse stood, quiet and imposing, and refused it all.

He never wavered. Nothing. Not a hint of vulnerability or chink in his emotional armor. Nothing I could exploit. And when I lashed out, he took it and didn't retaliate.

“You can’t be you when you drink, Kat. And the world needs you. So, quit asking. It ain’t gonna happen.” His set jaw and steely eyes gave me no room for negotiation.

And that was exactly what I needed.

Little things were beginning to happen between us, too. Subtle things at first. It took a couple of days for my head to clear, but then I started noticing. Like, the clothes he brought me. I would usually just sleep in a big t-shirt and some sweats, but when I woke up that second day, he had changed me into a nightgown.

Now, I’m not talking about a Victoria’s Secret sexy, lacy, revealing nightgown here.

This was made of soft cotton. It was light yellow, with lace trim and little embroidered daisies all over. It was just long enough to cover my rear end, and when I stood and lifted the hem of the gown, instead of my usual boy shorts or thong, I saw ruffled white panties. I never knew they made something like that in my size.

Then, the next morning, I noticed there were a couple of stuffed bears sitting on the floor across the room when I woke up.

They were big enough for an adult to cuddle into and lose herself in their soft warmth and luckily, the bed I was in was so enormous, Jesse was still able to put one next to me that night when I drifted off to sleep with him on the other side.

I felt everything changing.

I loved having that oversized plush bear on the covers next to me, watching over me that night. And I loved when Jesse kissed my forehead and snuck out of the room when he thought I was asleep. There was a flutter in my stomach and a small throbbing between my legs as he rubbed my back and leaned down to murmur right into my ear.

“Sweet dreams, Kitty Kat."

I drifted off to sleep, content and happy for the first time in so long, and when I woke to the sun high in the sky, it was to the sight of my pseudo step-brother, sitting spread legged, hands across his rock-hard abs, fingers woven together, watching me sleep.

"How long have you been there?" I asked, frowning, then realized my head didn't hurt anymore. And I didn't crave anything, except this Adonis of a man that had been the center of every budding sexual desire I’d ever had.

That wasn’t all. I wanted to crawl inside him. Feel that hard protective layer that is Jesse between me and the world forever. I longed to hear his voice sounding out in praise when I achieved things. Or low and clear when he explained some rules or boundaries to me and how he intended to keep me safe, even when I fought against him.

I wanted a champion. And I wanted it to be Jesse.

"I could watch you sleep for the rest of my life, and die a happy man," he said with such painful clarity that it felt like a confession.

I paused, wondering what to say in response. But Jesse didn't seem to require anything. “So... Um, what’s up?” I asked in an awkward burst as I glanced around the room, pretending I wasn’t about to grab the closest pillow and dry hump it to release this tangled knot of tension in my lower forty.

I stretched with false nonchalance, pausing for a moment as my tits swelled beneath the taut fabric of my pajama top. But then the thought occurred to me that he must have seen everything already.

Between the spanking, being brought here, being bathed and dressed by him, I doubted I had much left to hide, but still...it felt like I should.

Afternoon winter sun cut across Jesse’s angled face as his eyes devoured me from the chair. There was still a dreamlike quality to it all, but a new me was waking up and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to be awake.

Not that I remembered being given much choice in that matter, but the truth was I didn't want any. It was nice not to have to think about my own choices for once.

“Looks like you are. Up, I mean," he said, and I smirked at the attempt at humor. It wasn't like him. "Finally,” he added with a wink that had intensifying heat blooming on my cheeks and wetness seeping from my center.

He shifted with a grimace and an uncomfortable grunt as his knee clicked. His legs spread wider, and I caught a glimpse of the hard, flat muscles of his stomach flexing under the ever present perfect white t-shirt.

The flutter in my belly quickly moved lower, and I sighed before I could catch myself. “Um, yep, I guess I am.”

I wasn’t quite ready for the world yet, so I gave another big stretch and turned onto my side, my hands snaking around the huge teddy bear and pulling it close, fully aware the movement was thrusting my ass toward Jesse.

I buried my face in the soft fur of the plush animal and wiggled, feeling a wondrous sense of contentment for the first time in years.

I listened to the deepening of Jesse’s breathing, as his masculine scent and quiet dominance wrapped around me like a shameful hug.

“Jesse?” I whispered into the fur of the stuffed animal, keeping my eyes closed.

“What is it, baby?” I could feel his eyes on me and my insides clenched, my toes curling and uncurling under the blankets.

“You know girls my age... Well, we don’t wear this kind of stuff. I know you still think of me as your little sister, but you do know I’m grown up, right?”

“Are you?"

I opened my mouth to give some sarcastic bullshit reply, then hesitated. "I'm twenty-three..."

"You’re all grown up, huh? Well, from where I'm sitting it doesn't seem that way, little girl. From what I see, you are still in need of a strong hand to guide you. You certainly haven’t done all that great on your own the last few years.”

I jerked my head around and narrowed my eyes. “Seriously?"

He shrugged. "The truth can be painful, but you need to hear it. There's only one way forward, and that's my way."

"What the fuck, Jesse? Thanks for helping me out of a tight place, but--”

“Watch your mouth.” His eyes turned to slits and his voice lowered two octaves, but his formidable body remained perfectly still in the chair. "Have you forgotten our agreement?"

“What agreement? You telling me how things are going to be isn't an agreement, it's..." I tried to think of the right word, but nothing seemed right. Entrapment? Coercion? "You can’t tell me what to do, Jesse. I’m an adult.”

I whipped the cover off and bounced to the edge of the bed. Today I was dressed in soft white flannel pajamas with little bears on them, complete with lace trimmed collar and bottoms that snapped onto the pajama shirt around the waist and had feet in them.

They were cute, I had to admit. And they made me feel special.

His special girl.

No. No, no, no. I would not admit that I liked it.

"This is baby shit, Jesse! It’s weird!”

“So, you’re all grown up then, are you? What exactly does that mean?”

It was making me more nervous that he was just sitting there, his body flexing but not moving. The muscles in his jaw clenched and released, revealing his growing irritation, but he always stayed calm. Scary calm.

I knew there was so much more brewing behind that icy stare.

There was a smart part of me telling me to be careful, but there was also a not-so-smart part of me that always seemed to drown it out.

“Jesse... Thanks for letting me crash, but I think it’s time for me to go.” My feet hit the floor and my righteous indignation lost some of its steam when I looked in the mirror and caught my reflection staring back at me.

The pajamas were adorable. And comfy. My long sandy blond hair was tied in two neat braids, and my eyes were actually bright and visible, not sunken in. My cheeks were the color of the living instead of the dead.

Something about the girl looking back at me made my heart break. She looked…happy. And cute as heck to be honest.

Dragging my gaze away from the mirror, I dared to meet the dark penetrating stare of my pseudo-brother as he crossed his legs and leaned back in the chair. His power seemed to cling to everything in the room, including the air I was breathing.

Without warning, our conversation just before he gave me that bizarre spanking in the office came back to me. What did he mean he stayed at that club for me ? He was right, he owned eight other very successful businesses. The one he let me work at was not on the top of the prestige list, but was probably the quietest and safest.

But what did he mean he stayed there because of me?

I looked around the huge guest suite and realized I barely knew anything about his life anymore. I mean, I knew he left and went off with the Marines, and was later a Green Beret. Then, when he came back, he had an honorable discharge and the deed to the Diamond Rocks.

And honestly, I was there at the beginning, and it was probably more of a curse than a gift from that guy he saved the life of. But somehow, Jesse made it work.

He managed to make a profit. And when word got around that he had pulled off the impossible, it wasn’t long before he was offered other floundering businesses at cut down rates...

I guess I never put it together until now just how successful he was.

This house on Wolverine Lake, with the mountains in the background. It had to be a million.

Maybe two.

All that in the... I counted up in my head... Less than two years since he'd walked back into my life, offering a steady job and a way out of the mess that had crashed down around me since Kent’s funeral nearly a year before.

I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts straight.

“Where are my clothes?” I demanded.

“Right there. In that closet.” Jesse’s demeanor was calmer than usual and a shiver wiggled down my neck, slithering around my spine until it reached my toes. Something in his voice felt different, and I felt like I was about to be punked.

I eyed him as I walked into the closet backwards, one eye squinted his way.

Reaching behind me, I felt the cool metal of the door handle… turn, click... then I spun around and sucked all the air out of the room.

The friggin’ closet was bigger than most bedrooms, and mostly empty, but what clothes hung there were most decidedly not mine. My wardrobe consisted of tight jeans. Some blue, mostly black, paired with old concert t-shirts or newer ones with snarky sayings across the chest.

This closet contained no black. Nothing old or snarky either. It was the antithesis of the three-by-three foot space where I hung the items I called mine back at Jenette’s place.

White and pink, yellow and green, lace and ruffles, assaulted me from everywhere. If there was a perfect little girl’s closet somewhere in a fairy tale, this would be it. Only, the clothes were not little girl sized, they were my size.

“Where are my clothes, Jesse?"

"Those are your clothes, Kitty Kat."

"No, they're not. Joke’s over. Come on.” I poked my head out to see he was up from the chair and standing only a couple of steps outside the closet door, the mountain of his body blocking out much of the sunlight streaming through the window.

“This is it. For now. Pick something."

"Pick something?" I narrowed my eyes. "These aren't mine, Jesse, how am I supposed to--"

"These are yours. If you don’t pick something out, I will. Then I will proceed to put it on you, like it or not.” He towered over me and my mind raced for a reply. My heart pounded in my chest as my eyes danced over the strange closet filled with adult sized little girl clothes.

And they were adorable, but...

This couldn’t possibly be real. Was I in an alcohol withdrawal induced hallucination?

"These are mine?" I asked, not to Jesse but more to the universe, which, all of a sudden, seemed like one and the same.

"They're yours. I told you, I'm taking care of you now, and you're going to want for nothing. You need someone to watch over you, Kat, and that someone is going to be me, whether you like it or not. This is how I care for you. It’s a new foundation. Do you remember ever being cared for when you were little?"

I felt tears starting to flow. He sounded so much like Kent did that day he finally got custody of me.

You don't have to be scared anymore, Katrina. I'm going to take care of you, and make sure you have everything you need.

Jesse's eyes were completely and utterly focused on me. I shivered under his commanding stare. His broad forehead began to draw together as he watched me draw up in frantic confusion. The pressure inside my head was unbearable. I didn’t know what to do or say. There was a flicker inside me that found joy and comfort from all of this. The teddy bear and the soft pajamas, the pampering and security and promise to always be there.

But it was quickly stomped out by the jaded, angry part of me that didn’t believe in happiness. No matter how it was packaged.

I bulldozed past him and began to tear apart the room. I looked in every drawer, under the bed, everywhere for something. Anything. My clothes. My underwear. My possessions. Some sign of my old life.

Where was it?

“ Fuuuuuuck! ” I screamed until my voice cracked, and I pulled at my hair, squeezing my eyes closed, trying to see nothing. My lungs were raw, my voice hoarse. "I don’t want this! I want my stuff! My life! I want out of here!”

I threw the Teddy Bear on the floor, fists balled as it looked back up at me with those big blue eyes and red felt tongue sticking out.

I smashed the heel of my bare foot into his fluffy nose.

Guilt smacked at my cheeks. That bear was the closest thing to a perfect gift I’d ever received. All the times I read AMITAH on Reddit came streaming back.

Am I the asshole for throwing a giant, soft, cuddly, perfect life-sized teddy bear on the floor and stomping on its face because I don’t like the new wardrobe the sexiest man alive that I’m secretly in love with just bought me?

"None of your own things are gone," he said calmly, ignoring my tantrum. "They're just put away for now."

"And what gives you that right?"

“You did. You promised, Kat. You promised you would trust me and do things my way. That is what this means. Now, stop it, right now, or you’re going to be punished.”

I glared. I stamped my foot. And then I stuck out my tongue and enunciated slowly in my broken voice: "Fuck. You."

"Kat... This isn't how we deal with our anger."

"I said." I drew a deep breath, balling my fists by my sides. "Fuck. You."

I hurtled toward the mountain of muscle and intensity with everything I could muster. As I pummeled his chest with my fists, he stood completely still for a few seconds, taking everything I had.

Then with catlike reflexes, he grabbed my wrists in one giant vice-like grip, spun me around and held my hands behind my back, bending me over slightly and sending lightning bolts of pain into my shoulders.

“Let go! ” My voice was all I had under his might. The hold he had on me with one hand was impossible to shake. He positioned me perfectly so that there was nothing I could do to fight back. If I tried to kick, I would fall down. My fists were immobilized by his grip and he pushed me over toward the bed.

“This is not you, Kat. Try to remember who you are. Stop reacting and start feeling. Now, stop it, right now.”

His voice was a low rumble behind me, infused with restrained power. In the midst of my anger, a fierce ember was lit in my belly. My eyes danced all over the thick, flexing muscle in Jesse’s arms as he held my hands behind my back.

The subtle movements of his lips, his jaw, the blink of his dark eyes, the glint of his straight white teeth. He gave the smallest of grimaces as he held a crazed badger, fighting against the very person who was trying to save her.

“Fucking let me go you fucking asshole jarhead! What do you care anyway, Jesse? Kent’s dead and I'm not your problem! You're not my brother!” I hurled my words like poison daggers because my voice was all I had.

I knew I was hurting him and I didn’t care. I could never have him the way I wanted, so it was better if I just got out of here and never looked back. When I was fourteen, and it was just Kent, Jesse and me, we all made a pact. We lived together like brothers and sisters, and we swore to always be family.

Now I was using that against him. Denying that bond because I couldn't dare to let him in.

Because if I let Jesse into my heart, I was setting myself up to have that heart broken. There was no way he would ever want me the way I wanted him.

His voice was a deep rumble. “I’m the only family you have, little girl. I'm sorry. I wish it was different, but it isn't. You and me, we're it.”

I was almost out of breath from the fight and the way he was holding me pinned, bent in half, pulling my hands up behind my back. Trouble was, being in this position, so helpless and at his mercy, only made me think of other things. Things a sister should never imagine doing with her brother.

And sure, we weren't actually family. We weren't even step-siblings. Not really. But he had always been there, and the way I felt about him was wrong.

I could see him in the mirror, his eyes aflame and the tendons in his neck standing out like coils of steel cable. If I were another guy, he would have knocked me out and left me laying in my own drool. Why was he spending so much effort on me? I had not done anything in the last few years to earn his protection or his loyalty.

“Kent never trusted you, Jesse. Not after what you did… What we did. He said he hated you for it.”

A silence like a nuclear explosion filled the room and my heart seized for a moment. I had crossed a line. There were things in the past that should stay there, never to be unearthed again.

But the words were out, like fifty lashes with a wire whip, and Jesse’s eyes told me just how he felt.

It was something we promised we would put away and never talk about again. For me to throw it into Jesse’s face now was about the lowest I could go. The flames in his eyes quickly turned and as I opened my mouth to say something, to fix the damage I’d done yet again, he spun me around and flipped me over his lap, face down and ass up.

This position was easier to assume this time but even as he tore off the bottoms of my pajamas, I kicked and fought.

I was no match for him.

“I'm... Sorry. I didn't mean that. Jesse...”

The force of his grip on the back of my neck reminded me that he was a trained killer. With just a flick of his wrist, I could fall into the great abyss.

“Stop trying to make me hate you, Kat. It won’t work.” He spoke deliberately and clearly as he worked my ruffled underpants down and tore them off my ankles, leaving me bare-bottomed once again over his knee.

This time, I knew what was coming, and somewhere deep down, I knew I deserved it. I think I almost welcomed it. And when the first smack came, my entire body was enveloped, not only in the pain of the blow, but in an explosion of heat and relief, like a breath held far too long and finally released.

Jesse’s hand came down harder than the first time, the impact driving the air from my lungs as I gripped his legs to keep from falling. The red searing whacks rang in my ears, sending bolts of ravenous pain down the backs of my legs. I could hear my own voice, screaming and crying, but it was detached somehow. It was like I was feeling the pain and witnessing the moment, but through the eyes of a different girl.

Four more smacks in calmly paced succession.

Each spank hurt more than the last, and at the same time, brought me more and more peace. I knew my ass had to be screaming red. I could imagine the swollen hand prints from the force of Jesse’s blows, but somewhere in the brutal discipline I began to welcome the next blow as he took complete dominion over me.

The smacks came in rapid but controlled succession.

Smack.

Smack.

Smack.

Like an exquisite new form of Chinese water torture.

Just enough time between them for you to breathe, and wait.I inhaled, and the tears came like the spring flood out of a long-frozen mountain peak, rushing to find the life-giving river below. Finally, I bellowed and raised my hips up to meet his hand, taking everything he could give me and demanding even more.

“Thank you,” there was a knot in my throat but I willed it to unravel so I could finish, “Daddy.”

And that is when it stopped.