Epilogue
Two summers later
Ella
“Come on, Ella. Timefor a break.” Jack knocked on the open door of what used to be Dad’s office and was now mine. You’d hardly recognize the room; I’d had it redone floor to ceiling.x
“I’ll be there in a minute,” I said toward the computer screen, typing the last of an email.
“That’s what you said ten minutes ago.” He moved around the desk to stand behind me, then brushed my hair away from the side of my neck to give me a nuzzle. “Come on, there’s a surprise waiting for you outside.”
“Rolling Green is doing so well this year!” I said excitedly.
It was true; while Mom and Dad had been catering to their generation—and even within that group, only getting the people who were low-key OK with a little homophobia among friends—we had seen a steady trickle of new applicants and previous clients re-upping their memberships. Every day since we’d taken over, Rolling Green regained more of its vibrancy. Jack, Hailey, and I had bought a little house in town we shared so Jack and I could work at the club while Hailey did some side baking and then, when Olive was born, stayed at home with our baby.
Olive! I loved her with all my heart. In truth, she was the most spoiled child that ever existed. She was almost two now and was Rolling Green’s official mascot, just as I had been as a baby.
It was really hard to concentrate when Jack did the neck thing. My eyes glazed with pleasure. A small part of me noticed how the office door was wide open, so anyone could walk by and see us. It sent a shiver of delight through me. It felt so good to not have to hide anymore.
“Olive has a surprise,” Jack murmured into my skin.
“Why didn’t you say so?” I turned in the chair, kissing him as I stood. I mean, Olive was now basically my favorite person in the world.
Jack raised a teasing eyebrow. “Little Miss has you wrapped around her finger.”
“Guilty,” I confessed with zero shame. “What’s the surprise?”
“See for yourself. Come on.” He grabbed my hand and together we strode through Rolling Green, passing members on their way to tennis, the gym, the golf course, or the pool. We’d totally refurbished the Snack Shack this winter, and it was currently being run by a couple of bright-eyed teenagers.
Jack pushed open the glass door ahead of us and held it open like a true gentleman. Outside, the balmy summer air hit me like a caress. Everything smelled like freshly cut grass and jasmine. I’d grown up here, played hide-and-seek as a grade-schooler, then Ghost in the Graveyard as a teen. Jack and Hailey had been lifeguards at the pool the summer we’d all gotten together. I’d fallen in love with them here.
The faint whiff of coconut-scented sunblock was in the air, and as we walked to the pool, I happily greeted all the members I passed, both familiar and new. Theo was here for the weekend, and he waved from his lounger as he caught rays alongside Lucas. On Lucas’ other side, his sister Kitt stretched like a cat in the sun. Somewhere out on the links today, my brother Gabe was playing golf with friends. After college, he’d come back home to get a job, and we saw each other nearly every week. A month ago, he’d introduced me to his boyfriend, so I suspected things were getting serious.
Hailey was in the pool wearing a wide-brimmed black sunhat and huge sunglasses that made her look like an old-school celebrity. Her arms stretched out to help Olive float in the water, the baby’s chubby legs kicking like a frog’s.
“She’s swimming!” Hailey called happily. “Look!”
Olive squealed in delight at Hailey’s laugh, kicking frantically. And OK, I get that other people’s babies are not as cute as the parents think they are. But that’s the thing. Olive wasn’t another person’s baby. She was mine, too, and I was instantly smitten and puffed up so proud. I mean, that wide, baby-toothed grin? Her sweet peal of laughter? I was completely enthralled.
“She’s so talented.” I leaned in to brag to Jack.
He slung a possessive arm around my waist. “Clearly the best baby ever. She gets the swimming thing from my side,” he added in a hushed tone so Hailey wouldn’t hear.
Hailey heard anyway and scowled. “Does NOT. Excellent swimming is totally a Tomlin trait.” She pulled Olive in, addressing her in baby talk. “Isn’t that right, Ollie? You are an excellent swimmer, just like me.”
The pool glittered, inviting. Little waves lapped gently against the edges. This time of day it was all the stay-at-home parents and nannies here with toddlers before nap time. My heart swelled with pride. Olive was going to have the best life. She’d grow up here at Rolling Green with a mom and dad who ran the club. She’d be able to come home to her other mother, who worked out of the office and could be there whenever Olive had to stay home sick.
And here’s something else I knew, something that I imagined might be the reason for Jack’s bringing me out here. I’d seen the changes in Hailey’s body over the last week or so, the swell of her breasts and the flush of her skin, the way Hailey had winced just slightly as I’d squeezed her breast the other night as the three of us were piled on the couch watching TV before bed. I didn’t think Jack had picked up on it yet, but when Hailey had flinched, our eyes had met, and her little secret flickered between us.
“What’s the surprise?” I asked now in my mommy voice, practically begging Olive to show off.
Hailey pulled Olive out of the water to show me her swimsuit. On the front was a plus sign and the word LIFEGUARD, a miniature version of the suit Hailey had worn that summer I’d first met her. “Hailey!” I squealed in delight. “That is so cute!”
Hailey gave me a smug smile. When she turned Olive toward us to show off the suit, Olive saw us and stretched out her arms to me. “Mommamommommma!” Her little fists opened and closed, clear communication: I need you.
Like any bonded parent, I couldn’t resist putting my arms out, mimicking hers as I came to the edge of the pool and squatted down to her level.
“She’s wet,” Hailey said reluctantly, eyeing my business clothes.
“I don’t care.” I shook my head, grinning at Olive. I mean, I cared a little. But no outfit was worth Olive’s thinking for a single second I didn’t want a hug.
“Here, hold on...” Jack grabbed a complimentary towel from the stack by the pool and held it out to wrap Olive into a bundle before giving her to me.
“Thanks, Jack.”
His arm resumed its hold around my waist as we both peered in at Olive’s cheerful face. How quickly I had gone from being extremely nervous to let anyone see our private lives to being able to live without fear, loving the people I wanted to love. It made me think of Charlie, wondering how he was doing these days. I hoped he married Mary, but given what happened when I’d extended her an invite to my wedding, I felt pretty sure she wouldn’t risk it by inviting me to hers.
It was the perfect day. I locked eyes with Hailey. Tonight, she mouthed, and I beamed back at her. She was going to wait until we were alone to tell Jack she was pregnant. He would be through the roof. Expanding our family meant we might need to look for a bigger house, but between Jack’s stock portfolio and how well Rolling Green was doing, I thought we could swing it, although it would be bittersweet to leave the nest we’d made.
I felt Jack go tense next to me and looked up. You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. Down the path to the pool came my mother. It seemed as though every member of Rolling Green must’ve known her on sight, and a hush fell over the magpie chatter of the pool area. I swallowed nervously and handed Olive to Jack, moving slightly ahead of them to shield them both. I hadn’t spoken to my father in two years...but my mother had started sending me a series of emails. The first was an apology. The third, an announcement she had started group and individual therapy—though Dad wouldn’t go—and was “having a real kick learning about a whole culture no one spoke about in my day.” Last Christmas I’d gotten a note from GLAAD thanking me for the donation she’d made in my name. Some of her efforts were clumsy and painful, but each letter healed me a little. Watching her struggle to find her footing, to keep putting herself out there, helped me to be kinder to myself about my own struggles.
However, now that we had Olive, I felt extremely protective, unsure about her arrival. I wouldn’t subject Olive to slights and condescending comments. Or Jack or Hailey either. My family came first.
Mother held out a little bag from a pricey baby boutique downtown. “Ella,” she said formally.
“Hi, Mom... What are you doing here?”
I thought for a moment she wouldn’t say anything, that she would lose the nerve to tell me what she’d come for and simply turn on her heel and leave. The pause was legit long enough that I had time to wonder if something had happened to Dad.
But then she smiled nervously. “I saw this the other day and thought of you, and then I thought, maybe I could stop by and deliver it in person and maybe...”
She looked over my shoulder at Olive, who was being all-star levels of adorable, laughing in the pool even as Hailey held her close, nervous. And then my mother said the words that made me know we could heal the damage between us, that it might take time, but in the end, she and I were going to be OK.
She said, “Is this my granddaughter?”
And I said, “Yes.”
* * *