Chapter 36
L uca’s confession hangs in the air between us, thick with regret, guilt, and unspoken pain. The truth of it—the weight of it—almost suffocates him. Luca killed his mother. That must be why there are no pictures of her. But there’s more. I can see it in his pleading eyes as he watches me.
I have to be careful. He already thinks he’s a monster. If I’m going to reach him, I can’t let him stay trapped in this belief. I can’t let him believe he’s beyond saving.
I need to show him—show him that he’s still the man I love, the man who used to hold me like he was afraid to let go, even for a second.
Without another word, I slide off the desk and into his lap. With my heart pounding in my chest, I straddle him, settling onto him. His body tenses beneath me. He exhales a shaky breath, his fingers tightening briefly on my waist before he shakes his head, his voice low and strained. “Delaney... you shouldn’t. I don’t deserve this.”
I shake my head, cupping his jaw gently and bringing his face closer to mine. “You deserve this. You deserve more than you think.”
His eyes are a mixture of confusion, disbelief, and something else that makes my heart ache. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer, feeling the heat of his body against mine. “Luca,” I whisper softly, brushing my lips near his ear. “Draw my next card for me.”
His eyes search mine, and for a moment, I think he’s going to push me away. But instead, he seems to crumble, his heart pounding like a drum against my chest. Slowly, he moves his forehead to rest against mine, and I close my eyes, savoring the moment.
It feels like I’ve waited forever for this—to hold him like this again.
His entire body trembles as he takes the next card. I don’t need to look at it to know it’s my question. I set it up this way to get what I want from him—what he needs from me.
Two of diamonds.
I keep my eyes fixed on his, my voice steady despite the storm brewing inside me. “Do you love me, Luca?”
His grip on me tightens, his hands moving to my hips as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go. His breath is ragged, and his voice cracks when he speaks. “I never stopped loving you, Lenny. Not for a second.”
A tear slips down my cheek, and we’re both breathing heavily now. “It’s your card next,” I whisper, my lips brushing against his. He shudders at my gentle touch.
I bring him with me to grab his next card. He runs his nose up the column of my neck as I lean back. He takes me in like it’s the first breath he’s taken since the night we parted.
With a victorious smirk, I show him the card, knowing exactly what it is. Ace of spades. A black face card. I get to ask him to touch me any way I want, and he has to do it. It’s the rules of the game.
His sapphire eyes flick to the card, then back at me. “You stacked the deck.” His arms snake around me, pulling our bodies flush, our mouths only a heartbeat away.
“You taught me well.” I cup his jaw, leaning even closer. My quiet words caress his lips as I claim my reward. “Kiss me.”
“Len…”
“You can’t break the rules.” I move my hips against him, feeling how hard he is. “Kiss me, Luca.”
He cups my face, his thumb tenderly grazing my bottom lip. His eyes flick to my mouth for a moment, then back to my pleading gaze. He tilts his head, his lips moving slowly across mine—not quite kissing me yet, but savoring every second, every inch of contact.
Finally, he closes his eyes, and his lips meet mine.
It’s slow at first, tentative, as if he’s afraid that if he moves too fast, this moment will disappear into thin air. But it doesn’t feel like hesitation—it feels like the first time all over again. His hand moves to my back, the weight of it grounding me, as his other arm snakes around my waist, pulling me closer. I can feel his body, tense and warm, and the steady beat of his heart under his shirt. It makes my pulse quicken in response.
I melt into him, letting my hands slide to his neck, holding him closer as though I want to absorb every ounce of him. His kiss deepens just slightly, his tongue tracing the line of my lips with a quiet insistence that makes everything inside me coil and burn. With every soft press of his lips, I feel the layers of distance, of years apart, begin to peel away.
It’s a kind of kiss that makes everything else fade into the background—the world dissolving into nothing but the feel of him: his warmth, his touch, the way his lips move with mine.
There’s something desperate in the way he touches me, but it’s not frantic—it’s deliberate, as if he’s making up for lost time, trying to show me how much he cares, how much he regrets, how much he’s never stopped loving me. Each kiss is a question, a plea for forgiveness, and as I respond, I feel a sense of release in both of us. We don’t need words right now; his touch speaks louder than anything else could.
For the first time in years, I feel the weight of him—really feel it. Not the anger, not the distance, but the quiet intensity he’s always had. The boy who used to kiss me like he had all the time in the world, like I was the only thing that mattered.
And I know, deep down, this is the Luca I’ve missed. The one who used to make me feel like I was the most important thing in the room.
I lean into him, my body responding to the way he holds me, the way he kisses me like he’s trying to communicate everything he’s been holding back. His fingers trail down my spine, light and deliberate, sending a shiver through me. It’s a subtle touch, but I can feel the history between us in it—the comfort of being held by him, the unspoken apologies, the regret, and the love. He’s not saying it, but he’s showing it in the way he touches me.
His lips pull away just for a moment, and I’m left wanting more. His eyes lock onto mine, dark with emotion, and for the first time, I see the raw vulnerability in them. He’s still holding me close, but there’s something softer about the way he looks at me now—like he’s finally letting down the walls he’s built around himself.
“Lenny,” he whispers, his voice hoarse and thick with emotions he doesn’t know how to name.
I trace his jawline, my thumb brushing over the rough stubble, trying to tell him everything with just a touch. “I’m here,” I murmur. “I’m right here.”
And for a moment, it’s just us—no past, no hurt, only the present.
But as he kisses me again, I realize this isn’t just about physical desire. It’s about connection. It’s the ache of six years, the pain of what we’ve both lost, but also what we still have. And Luca’s touch tells me that he’s ready for that. He’s ready to let go of the past, to let me back in, and maybe, just maybe, to forgive himself.
“Please tell me I draw another face card next,” he murmurs against my lips, his voice low and full of longing. His hands tighten their grip on me, anchoring us together.
“There’s nothing but face cards now,” I reply with a mischievous smile.
“Thank fuck for that.” He captures my lips again, his kiss more urgent this time. He holds me tightly as he stands, kicking the chair back in the process. He places me on the desk, setting me down gently. My legs wrap around his waist, drawing him closer, as I rock my hips against him. The heat between us is electric, building with each touch, each kiss.
He trails his lips down my neck, across my collarbone, and back up again. His voice is a husky whisper in my ear. “Can I take you to my room?”
“Yes.” The word barely escapes my lips before he’s carrying me out of the office, our mouths colliding as he takes the stairs two at a time.
He bumps into the doorframe, jolting our kiss to an abrupt end. “Fuck, sorry,” he pants, then captures my lips again, swallowing my giggle. He kicks the door open and steps inside. The desperation in our kisses grows as we strip away the layers between us. Shoes hit the floor, shirts are yanked over our heads, and we collide again.
It’s pure fire. Every touch ignites something deep within me, something only Luca can reach.
I fumble with the button on my jeans, partially unzipping them when he picks me up again. I cling to him, my hands cupping his jaw as I kiss him hard, pulling a deep, guttural moan from him. The sound reverberates through me, sending a delicious shiver down my spine.
He crawls onto the bed, laying me down at its center, his lips chasing mine the entire way. His weight presses into me, grounding me, as we grind against each other. His hands find the clasp of my bra, and with one fluid motion, he frees me. He doesn’t even look as he tosses the garment aside, his mouth descending to my exposed skin.
His lips latch onto my nipple, teasing it with his tongue before gently nipping at it. The sensation sends a jolt of pleasure straight to my core. He gives the same attention to the other side, his hands roaming my body as if trying to memorize every inch of me.
He kisses down my body and when his hands get to the waistband of my pants he works them down. I lift my ass, helping but as soon as my pussy is exposed his mouth is consuming me.
“Oh, thank god,” I whisper as he runs his tongue up the slit of my cunt, groaning in pleasure at the taste of me. I run my nails through his hair, pushing him into me as I move my hips. I need more, more friction, more of his fingers. I need to be spread bare for him, so he knows just how much of me he owns. “More.” Is all I can muster as his mouth caresses my pussy with just as tender a kiss as the one we shared in his office below.
He keeps eating me while he resumes pulling my pants off me. When one leg is free, he hikes my knee over his wide shoulder and deepens the fervor of his licks, the swirls of his tongue around my clit. “Fuck, Luca.”
He doesn’t miss a beat, pulling off the rest of my pants so both my legs are wrapped around him, my thighs locking his mouth around me as I try to move my hips with each swipe of his tongue. Luca’s grip on me is firm.
His arms are wrapped around my legs, his hands pull the lips of my pussy back, exposing my clit to him. Keeping me at his mercy. He flicks my clit with his tongue, and I feel my orgasm burning within me, begging to be released for him.
He moans again when my legs twitch around him, loving the pleasure he knows he’s giving me. I add my own noises, unable to stop telling him how good he feels, how much I missed him. Each phrase burrows inside of him, wrapping around the blocks of the wall he built, and I make each one of them crumble until I’m shaking around him. Calling out his name and grinding hard onto his mouth as my climax plows into me.
He keeps licking, slowing his movements as my orgasm ebbs away. Each time his tongue brushes across my sensitive clit, my legs jolt. Luca kisses my pussy several time as I keep rubbing his soft hair, scratching my nails on his head.
Luca climbs up my body, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses as he moves. His face hovers over mine, and the evidence of my pleasure lingers on his lips. He kisses me deeply, and I taste myself on him, a mix of desire and intimacy that makes my heart race. His hands frame my face, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks as if I’m the most fragile, precious thing in the world.
“You taste so fucking good, baby,” he whispers against my lips, his voice thick with emotion and want. His hands trail down to the waistband of his jeans, and I help him work the button loose. My fingers brush against his as we tug the zipper down together, and I can’t wait another second to feel him. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
We both moan when I run my nails up his shaft. The soft skin pulled tight with the bulge of his erection. Our eyes are locked onto each other. I grasp him, getting as much of him as I can when I wrap my fingers around him. He’s so fucking big.
My other hand cups his jaw and I rub his cheek. “You’re no monster Luca.” I lean up and kiss away the sting he feels with my comment. “But this,” I squeeze his cock harder, stroking him while I lick his lips. “This is a monster and I want you to destroy me with it, baby.”
“Tell me first,” He thrusts his hips into my hand a few times before getting to his knees, his firm body on display for me. “Are you still my girl?”
My legs are spread wide, and his massive hands rub my inner thighs, but I can’t answer him. My expression drops and my eyes go wide when I look at his chest, a wave of heat running down my body at what I see.
“You asshole!”