Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Emerson
H oly motherfucker.
I'd spent the entire week playing "avoid thinking about the date" by burying myself in so much lab work my eyeballs were sending me hate mail. Experiments, analysis, enough coffee to make Juan Valdez file a restraining order. But now? Now I was staring up at what had to be Satan's own erector set, and all my rationalizations were crumbling faster than poorly calibrated test results.
My neck ached from trying to see the top of this metal monstrosity, and I swayed slightly, my body already protesting what my mind was desperately trying to process.
The "Velocity Vortex" (because apparently alliteration made death more marketable) stretched up into the sky like some twisted modern art piece designed by a sadist.
The roller coaster’s track—if you could call that pretzel-shaped nightmare a track—seemed to defy every law of physics I'd ever studied.
A fresh wave of screams ripped through the air, and my stomach lurched in sympathy as I watched a train of cars packed with what had to be certifiably insane people hurtle down a drop that made my doctoral defense look like a cakewalk.
The whole thing whipped through impossible turns, flipping and spinning.
This was not what I'd imagined when Liam suggested we "do something fun." In my mind, "fun" involved significantly less likelihood of projectile vomiting.
"You're not scared, are you?"
Liam's voice cut through my internal panic, and I turned to find him watching me with that insufferable grin—the one that made my stomach flip in a way that had nothing to do with the impending doom towering above us.
His eyes were dancing with amusement, and damn him, he was enjoying this way too much.
“Of course not,” I lied, trying to sound confident. The truth was, I hadn’t been on a roller coaster in years, not since a disastrous date in college had left me shaken (literally) and vowing never again. But damned if I was going to let Liam know that.
Liam grinned, that exasperating smile that somehow managed to be both playful and knowing. The same smile that had first caught my attention when he'd first walked into my research lab and brought chaos to my carefully ordered world.
"Well then, let's start with something a little tamer and work our way up."
He offered his arm with exaggerated gallantry, a mockingly serious expression on his face.
I hesitated, my scientist's brain cataloging all the reasons this was a terrible idea. Workplace dynamics. Professional boundaries. Getting in over my head.
But he was just too adorable to pass up.
"Fine," I said, linking my arm with his. The solid warmth sent a flutter through my stomach that no amount of rational thinking could suppress.
His presence was grounding yet electrifying as the amusement park hummed with life around us, a kaleidoscope of sounds and scents that transported me back to childhood summers.
The familiar smell of cotton candy mixed with Liam's cologne, making me want to lean closer, even as my mind screamed to maintain distance.
"First stop," Liam announced, steering us toward the bumper cars. "Let's see if the brilliant Dr. Grant can handle a little chaos."
"I handle you every day, don't I?" The words slipped out before I could filter them, and his responding laugh made something unfurl in my chest.
In the bumper cars, I felt years of restraint melting away. Each collision was a release, each laugh a tiny rebellion against the voice in my head that always whispered, "don’t embarrass yourself."
When I slammed my car into his, Liam's exaggerated gasp of betrayal sent me into a fit of laughter.
"You're going to pay for that, Doc!" he promised, but the horn sounded, and the ride was over too soon.
At the ring toss, his focused expression reminded me of how he looked analyzing data—that same intensity, but softer somehow, more playful.
His victory whoop when he finally landed a ring drew stares from nearby families, though it was mostly the moms whose looks lingered.
"For my brilliant, beautiful colleague," he said, presenting a tiny teddy bear.
"You're impossible," I said, but took the bear anyway, clutching it tight as we headed for more snacks.
The warmth of the afternoon sun had started to fade, but the fairground was coming alive with twinkling lights, casting everything in a soft, dreamy glow. It felt surreal, like we were in our own little bubble—until reality came clicking toward us in heels.
I mean, who wears heels to a carnival?
"Emerson! Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Jessica, a woman from town, sauntered over with a curious expression, eyeballing Liam like he was the last slice of cheesecake.
"Jessica," I forced a smile. "This is Liam."
She leaned in close enough for me to count her nose hairs, her voice dropping to a stage whisper that could probably be heard in the next county. "Isn't he a bit... young?" she asked, pumping her eyebrows.
My face flushed, and I glanced at Liam, who was watching me with a concerned look.
“We’re just hanging out,” I said, forcing my voice to stay bright.
Jessica’s eyebrows shot up, and she gave me a knowing look. “Just hanging out? Mmhmm. Well, enjoy yourselves!” She winked as she walked away, leaving me flustered and ready to duck under the table.
Liam moved closer, giving my hand a squeeze that sent tingles all the way to my toes.
“Hey,” he said softly, his eyes searching mine like I was hiding the meaning of life in there. “Don’t let Nosy Nancy get to you. We are having fun, right? Or do I need to up my game? Maybe juggle some flaming chainsaws?”
I smiled. “We are. I just... I don’t know. I feel like maybe this isn’t right. Like I’m the big bad cougar corrupting an innocent cub or something.”
Liam laughed. “Doc, you are not doing anything wrong. We’re just two consenting adults having a good time. And honestly, I haven’t had this much fun since... well, ever. You’re like a walking, talking adrenaline shot, but way sexier.”
I looked into his eyes, the sincerity in his gaze calming my racing thoughts. “Really?”
“Really,” he confirmed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “But if cougar taming is on the table, I’m all in. Just sayin’.”
With a little swat, I let him lead me back into the heart of the amusement park, his presence a steady reassurance.
As the evening wore on, I found myself forgetting to analyze my reactions, instead just enjoying the pleasure of Liam’s company. He made me laugh with his stories and jokes, and I found myself sharing bits and pieces of my own life, things I rarely told anyone.
It was hard to remember it was all just for fun.
Eventually, we reached the line for the roller coaster again, and all my anxiety came rushing back. The sight of the towering drop and the sound of the screaming riders made my heart race for all the wrong reasons. Liam took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he said, his eyes searching mine. “I don’t want to pressure you.”
I hesitated for a long beat, indecision warring in me. Part of me wanted to run in the opposite direction as fast as humanly possible. But another part—the part that had been whispering for change, for something more—was tired of always playing it safe.
“No, I want to,” I said finally, squaring my shoulders like I was going into battle. “I’m done letting fear control me.”
Liam’s face broke into a proud smile.
“That’s my girl,” he said approvingly, his voice a warm caress.
My girl.
He took my hand and led me into the line, his grip firm and reassuring.
As we inched closer to the front, my palms were getting sweatier by the second, my heart trying to burst right through my ribcage.
Liam kept up a steady stream of conversation, his voice a comforting hum in my ear. He was talking about the time he got stuck upside down on a roller coaster for fifteen minutes and how he convinced himself he was going to die.
“I screamed like a little kid,” he admitted with a sheepish grin. “But, you know, the important part is that I survived. And so will you. Although in hindsight, I’m not sure this moment was the best time to tell you that story.”
I tried to laugh, but it came out as a nervous squeak. It was hard to focus on anything but the mammoth metal structure looming ahead, casting a long, intimidating shadow over us.
Finally, it was our turn, and I froze as I stared at the little car waiting to whisk us away, fear seizing me in its vice-like grip. Liam gently coaxed me forward, his hand warm and steady on my back, reminding me to breathe.
“You can do this, Doc,” he encouraged, his voice low and soothing. “I’ll be right beside you the whole time. You’re safe.”
With a deep breath, I stepped gingerly into the car. Liam climbed in next to me and pulled the lap bar down snugly across us.
As the car jerked forward, beginning its slow, torturous climb, I gripped Liam’s hand hard enough to cut off his circulation.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured in my ear, his breath hot against my skin. “Just hold on to me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as we reached the apex, every muscle in my body tensed in preparation for the plunge.
When it came, my stomach swooped into my throat as gravity took hold, and I screamed—a raw, primal sound. Liam’s whoop of joy mingled with the rush of wind, a sharp contrast to my terror. The car twisted and dipped, flinging us around like ragdolls.
And then, miraculously, I was laughing, exhilaration replacing the fear.
Adrenaline surged through my veins, making me feel alive… almost giddy. Liam’s hand stayed locked with mine through the whole thing, a warm, comforting anchor in a really fucked up, twisty storm.
When the ride shuddered to a stop, I was breathless and dizzy, my legs wobbly as we stumbled out. Liam’s eyes shone, his hair adorably disheveled.
“You did it!” he said, catching me up in a giant hug that lifted my feet off the ground as he swung me around. “I knew you could.”
I clung to him, laughing. When he set me down, his hands lingered at my waist, his expression softening as he gazed at me.
“I’m so proud of you, Doc,” he murmured, his voice a husky whisper that sparked a fire in me. He tucked a windblown strand of hair behind my ear with a gentle touch, his fingers brushing my skin. “You were amazing.”
Overwhelmed by the tenderness in his eyes, the way he looked at me like I was the only person in the world, I surged up on my tiptoes and kissed him. It was a bold, impulsive move, driven by the rush of emotions swirling inside me.
For a moment he froze, startled, and then his arms tightened around me and he was kissing me back, his lips warm and eager on mine.
I lost myself in it, the rest of the world fading away until there was only Liam—his taste, his scent, his body pressed to mine. It was like coming up for air after being underwater too long, a rush of sensation and emotion that left me breathless and wanting more.
When we finally broke apart, my heart was hammering so hard I could barely hear over it. The intensity of what I was feeling—what I could feel—hit me.
Too much, too fast, too real. My chest constricted, my brain short-circuiting like an overloaded circuit.
"I should go." The words tumbled out before I could stop them, my feet already backing away. "It's, um, getting late." God, could I sound any more pathetic? Any more obvious that I was running?
I caught the flash of confusion in Liam's eyes, saw the way his expression shifted from soft contentment to something lost and questioning.
The ache in my chest intensified, making it hard to breathe.
The walk to my car felt endless, like one of those nightmares where you're trying to run but end up barely moving. Every step echoed with unspoken words, with all the things bubbling up inside me that I couldn't—wouldn't—let myself say.
My analytical brain desperately tried to compartmentalize what had just happened, to label it and file it away like data. But it refused to fit into any of my neat little boxes, spilling out messily into every corner of my mind.
"Doc—" His voice held so many questions, and I couldn't handle a single one of them.
"This was fun," I cut him off, my voice pitched too high, too bright. "I had a really good time. Thank you for today."
The words tasted false on my tongue, not because they weren't true, but because they weren't enough.
Something crossed his face—a flash of hurt that made me want to scream—before he covered it with that smile that always made my knees weak.
"I had a great time too." His voice was soft, careful. "We should do it again."
"Definitely," I answered automatically, even as every cell in my body screamed at me to stop this, to turn around, to just let myself fall. But I couldn't. I wouldn't.
I practically threw myself into my car, my usually steady hands shaking as I fought with the keys. The engine roared to life, and I forced myself to focus on that sound instead of the thundering of my heart.
In my rearview mirror, Liam stood there, hands in his pockets, watching me leave.
My fingers clenched the steering wheel so hard my knuckles went white, fighting the urge to slam on the brakes, to run back and try to explain. To tell him that I wasn't running from him, but from the way he made everything in my carefully ordered world tilt on its axis.
From the way he'd somehow slipped past all my defense mechanisms like they were nothing more than theoretical. This was supposed to be an experiment. Clean. Controlled. Variables I could measure, data I could analyze.
Something I could walk away from with my hypotheses intact and my heart uncompromised.
I repeated the word "experiment" all the way home like a prayer, trying to convince myself that's all this was.
But with every mile, the word felt more hollow, more like a lie I was telling myself to keep from admitting the truth: that for the first time since I could remember, I was feeling something real.
And that terrified me more than any roller coaster ever could.