The Alpha and His Song, Volume One (Ribbon #13)
Prologue
Nathan Conners was drunk. I was in Alpha Tucker’s territory and slipped the Warriors he’d had watching me at the last bar. All the Alphas around watched me like I was a pup. My wolf, Herb muttered, “They are watching us because our pups are worried.” That was true.
Everyone around here would do anything to help Eric. Any of my sons actually. I was fiercely proud of my boys. It was the respect everyone had for them that drove me to this hole in the wall human establishment.
It was perfect for what I wanted. I raised my glass to the bartender and the man came over silently pouring me another whiskey. The bartender said, “Is there anything you want to talk about? Bartenders are the best therapists.” I snorted, “My daughter in law is a therapist. She’s the best.”
Herb proudly agreed with me, “Thor’s mate is the best.” The bartender smiled saying, “Well, she’s not here at the moment. I can hear you out if you’d like.” Except I knew that Haley would be here if I wanted. I could link her and my daughter in law would be here in a heartbeat.
I explained, “I lost my wife in a car crash.” The bartender winced saying, “I’m very sorry for your loss.” That’s what everyone said. I told him, “She was a difficult woman, but I loved her. We had some good times, and some damn hard times.”
I snorted, “More hard lately. My late wife tore me a new one about that in her final goodbye letter.” I laughed humorlessly, “She had prepared in case of her death. She and I didn’t see eye to eye about our daughter in law.”
Herb grumbled, “We were right.” I knew that. I admitted, “I didn’t always like my wife, but I loved Cassandra with all of me. She smelled like cherries and now I look for her every time I smell them; it’s never her anymore though.”
The bartender said, “Love is not always easy.” I snorted, “No, it’s not.
” The bartender added, “Leaving a note during the hard times in case you died is quite cold though.” I snorted, “Son, the last at minimum eight years I swear there was distain in her eyes even when we were together intimately.” The bartender winced again.
Humans probably weren’t so forward and open.
A sweet voice cut over to us, “Spoken like a true man who can discuss such topics.” The woman sat down next to me, but I simply ignored her. Eventually she said, “I’m Morgana.” I replied, “Nathan.” I studied her and could acknowledge she was beautiful.
This woman had brown hair with hazel eyes and very full lips. She said, “I’m sorry to hear about your wife. Tell me about her.” I frowned, not wanting to but when I looked into her eyes again, I felt like I could tell her. In fact, now that we were eye to eye I wanted to.
I whispered, “What are you?” She winked at me, “Tell me all your secrets, Nathan Conners.” I wasn’t shocked she knew my last name without me giving it. We were well known around here. I ended up showing her Cassandra’s picture.
I said, “This is my Cassandra, my other half.” Morgana was a Supernatural so she’d know what I was saying.
Morgana nodded. I admitted, “My mate made things difficult more than they needed to be more often than not. The older we got Cassandra had a very ‘her way was the best way’ attitude. We fought a lot about our daughter in law and our oldest son. When we met though, that woman was my everything.”
“We were young and wide eyed. Cassandra showed me a kind of love I’ve never known. My parents were awful. One hated me and the other was apathetic towards me at best. Cassandra loved me, I think. She showed me how to love.”
“My wife gave me the strength to be a good father. I was so worried when she got pregnant with Eric that I’d fail him. I already loved my son with everything in me the second I heard my mate was pregnant, but I didn’t have a good example to look up to.”
Morgana just nodded and I kept drunkenly telling her everything. I admitted, “My wife stood by me through really hard times in the beginning. We took our pack from being a pack known for its cruelty to a big prosperous pack that had allies. We garnered respect for how we did things her and I.”
“Our son Eric has always been amazing. A Seer told Cassandra that he’d be powerful and important. My oldest took our pack, grew it, and made big changes. Eric is a great man that I’m proud of. Looking back, I think I can realize the moment Cassandra changed.”
“It wasn’t overnight of course, but that zest for life she had dulled when her extended family died on her mom’s side. We were too late to save them from my sperm donor, and Cassandra felt helpless. It’s like she vowed never to let that happen again.”
“She and I made so many changes in the Werewolf world, and people looked up to us. Our word became gold, but I didn’t realize she stopped listening to anyone’s counsel. Suddenly she knew best and she wouldn’t hear anything else.”
I paused and took a drink then admitted, “Cassandra was a great mother though and boy did she always point that out to me. We raised four amazing men. When there was a gap between us, we could look at those four boys to bridge it. Our pride for them and the men they have become. The fathers…”
Morgana put a hand on my hand interrupting, “It sounds like you loved a difficult woman.” I laughed, “Yes, I did.” Morgana said, “Maybe you deserve better.” I pulled my hand away like she burned me. I muttered, “You don’t know me.”
Herb said, “Maybe we do deserve better though. Someone who doesn’t look at us like we are dirt under her nails and just uses us for sex. Kena always loved us but Cassandra was different.” It stung but it was true. I was just sex to my mate for almost a decade.
Morgana laughed, “Everyone knows of the great Alpha Nathan Conners.” I frowned, “Former Alpha. My sons are the Alphas now.” Morgana sighed, “I do like Alphas. You are all such strong men.” I frowned and looked at her, “If you’re looking for an Alpha to bed, I’m not that guy.”
Morgana disagreed, “Oh, but you are. Alpha’s are strong, and I like strong men. You make formidable children and the moon’s out.” I replied, “We call them pups, and I’m not looking to have any more. Cassandra and I were trying, I guess.”
It didn’t really feel like we were honestly. I continued, “My wife wanted me to get my vasectomy reversed, so I did. I got it at her insistence the first time. We weren’t able to conceive though.” Herb pointed out, “Which is odd.” I knew that.
Morgana said, “Your daughter in law could have healed you.” I growled, “Haley did heal me. Cassandra developed endometriosis and didn’t want Haley to heal her. My wife said if the goddess wanted it to work out it would.”
Morgana laughed, “So the rumors of Cassandra disliking the Princess were true. How very short sighted of her.” I warned, “Hey, don’t talk about my wife like that.” It was true, but Morgana didn’t need to say it.
Morgana chuckled, “I’ve been watching you for a week now.” Herb huffed, “Hello subject change.” I asked her, “Why?” Morgana answered, “I like you.” I shrugged, “Sorry.” Morgana asked, “Why?” I told her, “I don’t like you.”
Morgana said, “I’m not so different from your mate. I’m more cunning though than she ever thought about being though.” I snorted, “Sure you are.” We sat in silence and drank. I told her, “I don’t know what you think is going to happen here, but it’s not going to.”
Morgana stood, saying in what I’m sure believed was a seductive tone. “What I want often happens. I’ll see you later, Nathan Conners.” I rolled my eyes knowing I would never see that woman again. Herb agreed, “Definitely not.”
I raised a glass to the bartender who came over and announced, “The woman who sat next to you told us her drinks were on you.” I shrugged, “I don’t care.” I had the money to pay because I was rich. My phone was ringing so I checked the caller I.D. Eric was calling.
I turned my phone off, sighed, and put my head on the bar.
The bartender commented, “It’s none of my business, but that woman is a maneater.
I’d steer clear of her, she’s trouble.” I told him, “I have no intention of doing anything with her. I can’t imagine being with anyone but Cassandra.
I’ve been with her since I was nineteen years old.
It’s too soon to even think about that.”
Truthfully it would always be too soon. Who could think of sex when every time Cassandra was in the mood, she stared at me as if it was a chore? I was tired of being a check on the to do list. I wanted passion and to see the raw need for me in someone’s eyes.
Besides, it cut me deep in my heart to even think about being with someone else. I drank more and then made my way outside. I hadn’t brought a car with me or Eric would’ve tracked it. I’m lucky my daughter in law was probably keeping Eric calm about not knowing my location.
Haley had popped to me a few times to make sure I was ok. Eric must not have asked her to tonight because I hadn’t seen her. Herb said, “Our daughter in law respects our boundaries.” Because Haley was a good person.
I stumbled into the forest, laid down, and looked at the sky. I yelled, “Gardening, Cassandra?! You left me over that damn garden. Woman, you couldn’t garden if your life depended on it and you know it.” I paused when nothing happened.
I snorted, “Figures. You had to go off and leave me after all the work we did to stay together. Was it even for us at the end? Or was it our wolves? I don’t know why I even expect you to answer. I miss you, and I can’t believe it.”
“I miss you and I don’t because you were mean to everyone, including me. I do miss waking up and smelling you. Your scent has faded on your things. It’s not the first thing I smell when I wake up anymore and I’m drowning.”
“You were the one who dragged me up when I was drowning in hatred from my dad, and now I’m alone. We were together for most of my life, but anytime I reach for you you’re just gone. I turn to say something to you and there’s no one standing behind me.”