The Alpha Bodyguards Books #1-3

Chapter Fourteen

“Y ou. A re. M ine,” he growled, plunging into me as if to drive his seed deeper. “ All mine .”

A shiver raced up my spine and lodged in my throat before fluttering down to my stomach like fall leaves in a breeze. I didn’t have a comeback. I only had hunger—a yearning so deep, it was choking me from inside.

I didn’t want to say anything, but I couldn’t say nothing.

“Don’t,” I pleaded, hoping he would misinterpret me.

“I’m coming back,” he reassured, misreading my plea.

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t.

He grasped my face. “I’m coming back,” he reiterated, enunciating each word.

“You’re making this into more than it is.” I hated myself for the lie.

He stilled. “You don’t want it to be more?”

I didn’t want to lie again, so I said nothing.

His sigh was deep and more complicated than I knew how to handle.

Gentle, he drew out of me before falling to his side and pulling me into his arms. His release seeped out of me and spilled onto my thigh. Immediately I felt a sense of loss I couldn’t put into words. Having this man’s seed inside me, the intimacy of it, what it represented, what we’d shared, it was all at once unfathomable, yet it was everything I never knew I’d wanted. Simple, honest and pure, a life with a man like him by my side, a life with him … the thought alone made me shiver.

He rubbed my back then brushed my hair from my face. “Talk to me. ”

I hated talking. Always. But if I were being honest with myself, I didn’t hate it with this man. “About what?”

He kissed my forehead. “About how you feel right now.”

“Tired,” I admitted. Emotionally and physically, but physically in the best way possible. “And a little sore.” And I never wanted another man, besides him, to ever touch me again.

Concern etched across his features. “Bad sore or good sore.”

Heat touched my cheeks and my voice came out in a whisper. “Good.”

He almost smiled. “I’m glad.”

Having his arms round me and his easy acceptance, it gave me a false sense of security and I opened my mouth. “What makes a man want a woman?” I felt stupid the second I asked it. It was immature and embarrassing, but I wanted to know why he wanted me. Why he’d come after me. I was stupid enough to hope it was more than a hero complex, because really, a man like him, he could have any woman he wanted.

The back of his hand ran down the side of my face. “I don’t know about other men, but I know why I want you.” He curled a strand of my hair around his finger. “Besides the fact you’re beautiful, and putting aside the whole incident at Dax’s, I saw something in your eyes.” He held my gaze. “Something I thought I recognized in myself.”

I was stupid enough to ask. “What?”

His smile was tired and it didn’t reach his eyes, but it was still a smile. It wasn’t fake or calculated or used for any kind of effect except a mere expression of his feelings.

His hand rubbed down my back. “How about I tell you that another time?”

I was greedy. “When?” He was leaving and I wasn’t staying. We didn’t have time.

He kissed my forehead then rolled to his back. One arm still under me, supporting my neck, he stared at the ceiling. “If I tell you, will you tell me if I’m right?”

My guard immediately went up .

Before I could say anything, he chuckled. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.” He glanced at me. “Your whole body stiffened.”

“It did not.” Did it?

“Do you know one of the things you learn to look for when you’re staring through a scope for hours on end?”

“No.” And I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“Body language.” He stroked my shoulder. “You can learn a lot about people without them ever speaking.”

“That sounds… disconcerting.”

“Only if you’re at the wrong end of my scope.”

He didn’t say it in a bragging way. He merely stated it as fact, as if he were telling me the weather. I didn’t know if I was more impressed with his humility and what he did for a living, or if I was frightened of his skill and obvious abilities.

Not knowing how to respond to him, I said the first stupid thing I thought of. “I’ll make sure to remember that.”

“Your body language gave you away.” His hand rubbed over my shoulder. “Your muscles tensed when I asked if you’d tell me if my observation was correct.”

“I was just… taken off guard.” And not used to someone being honest for the sake of honesty.

“I thought you were alone.” He turned his head and gave me his penetrating gaze. “Not lonely, but alone.”

I didn’t want to lie to him. “It’s a choice.”

He slowly nodded once. “Do you prefer to be alone?”

I didn’t know how to answer that. I’d been alone since I’d met Nathan. It wasn’t a choice of preference, it was a choice out of necessity.

“You’re taking too long to answer.”

“Does anyone want to be alone?” At a very basic level, humans needed each other to procreate.

His tired half smile came back. “This is what I mean about beginning to understand you. I think you left half that thought unsaid. ”

“Would it matter if I did?”

“It matters to me.”

“Why? You don’t know me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You want me to be real?”

“Yes.” It was knee-jerk and reactionary, and I wanted to take the single word back as soon as I said it.

“I don’t have time to fuck around.” He rolled back to his side to face me, his massive body moving with shocking grace. “I have hours.”

My heart both sank and soared. I knew where this was going. He’d basically said as much. Stupid, post-orgasmic bliss, taken in with him and everything he represented, I didn’t know what all it was, but my guard was down and I said the last thing I should. I gave him an in. “Okay….”

His eyes dark and serious, his gaze consuming, it felt like he could see right through my lies.

“I’ve been with enough women to know it doesn’t feel like this.” He stared at me. “It’s never felt like this. There’s more than chemistry here. I know it.”

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to rage. But I didn’t move a muscle. How could you tell someone they couldn’t compete with your past sins? That you were bad and they were good?

His chest rose and fell faster. “I want to chase what’s going on right here, right now, between us, and I’m willing to gamble to give us that chance. I know you don’t know me, but if I give you my word, I stand by it. I’m offering for you to stay here, no strings, no rent, no shit like that. You simply live here. Use the pool, enjoy the view, eat whatever food is in the pantry, hell, move furniture around for all I care. Just… stay.” He inhaled. “I want to wait for you, and I want you to wait for me.” He searched my face as if looking for an answer. “I want you here when I get back. I want you. I can’t say it any plainer than that.”

My throat burning with unshed tears, I couldn’t speak.

He kept staring at me, as if every breath I took was a sign only he could read. But when I didn’t say anything, a tic flexed his jaw and he swallowed .

“But if you tell me I’m wrong,” he continued, “if you can honestly say you don’t feel anything here, that you don’t feel anything between us, just say the word.” His stare bore into my soul. “I’ll stand down.”

I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and bit it hard.

He gently cupped my cheek. “But I don’t think you feel nothing. I’m looking into your gorgeous eyes and I’m seeing what I’m feeling directed right back at me.” He leaned closer. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel this between us.”

In that moment, I hated everyone. I hated my father for getting sick and dying, I hated Nathan, and mostly I hated myself for a single decision too many years ago when I was too young and too na?ve to know any different.

But I still hated myself for it.

“Brookelyn?”

I hated that name.

Nathan named me.

He’d said my hair was as chaotic as the streets where he grew up. He said it reminded him of the borough of New York he’d called home for the first eighteen years of his life. He’d said it with his charming smile, but just like everything else Nathan said, I didn’t know what was real or what was a lie.

It didn’t matter.

I was Brookelyn now.

Brookelyn with an e . Because he said my hair curled like a string of cursive e ’s.

Brookelyn .

The stupid girl who fell for the too good-looking college-aged guy hitting on an underage, vulnerable girl working two jobs to pay bills she was never going to be able to afford. I couldn’t have been an easier mark for Nathan if I’d tried.

So now I was Brookelyn, and my father, the only person in the whole world who’d still called me by my real name, was dead. God, I wanted to hear the warrior lying next to me speak my name, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what it was.

So I whispered a lie. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

The warrior’s face transformed with a smile. “You will?”

I nodded, and he pulled me into his arms.