The Alpha Bodyguards Books #4-6

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I put on a bra as he changed back into his clothes in the bathroom. When he came out with his baseball cap pulled low and told me to grab my purse, I grabbed it. When he wordlessly put his hand on the small of my back and led me past my splintered front doorjamb, I allowed it.

When he took us to his Range Rover and held open the passenger door, I got in. When he got behind the wheel and told me to buckle my seat belt, I buckled it.

Everything he told me to do, I did.

But my head was spinning.

He blamed himself.

Just like I was blaming myself.

But I knew it wasn’t his fault.

Just as I should’ve realized it wasn’t mine.

Two lives intertwined by happenstance, blaming themselves for a third person’s horrible choices. When in truth, Sawyer was no more responsible for those six deaths than I was. Everything we did was in defense against their actions. None of us would have been in those situations if it weren’t for that carjacker.

It was his fault.

Not mine.

Not Sawyer’s.

The weight I’d been carrying lifted somewhat as he pulled into the parking lot of a home improvement store.

Putting his SUV in park, he left the engine and AC running. “Lock the doors after I get out.”

“I’ll come with you.” I reached for my door handle but not before I saw a look flash across his face I couldn’t decipher.

“Wait.” He cut the engine and got out, rounding the front of the vehicle.

I watched him scan the parking lot, taking in every inch of our surroundings like he was cataloging everyone and everything.

It made me feel safe, safer than I’d felt in seven days.

Opening my door, his manners didn’t waver. He held his hand out to me.

I took it.

He helped me out of the vehicle, and for the first time in days, I tasted, smelled and felt something other than guilt.

I felt his strong hand around mine. I smelled his clean scent. I tasted the mint tea he had made me, and sun warmed my face.

I felt safe.

“Thank you,” I whispered, not trusting my voice.

His stark blue eyes cut from the surrounding parking lot to me. “For what?”

“Taking care of me.” It made me feel so vulnerable to say the words, but I said them and more. “Feeding me all week.” Every day I’d waited until he’d left, then I’d gotten up and retrieved his daily breakfast and eaten it. It was the only food I’d eaten all week.

For three whole heartbeats, he said nothing.

Then Sawyer Savatier leaned down, and his lips touched my forehead. “You’re welcome.”

I exhaled, releasing a breath I’d been holding since my first memory of foster care. I didn’t think I’d ever felt less burdened, until I inhaled and the air wasn’t weighted with every breath of my past.

Across the parking lot, through the entrance and until he pulled a cart out, Sawyer held my hand. Then he put me in front of him, grasped the cart and enclosed me in the circle of his protection.

My steps no longer heavy, I let him lead us through the store, quietly watching as he put stuff in the cart and answering his few brief questions about any tools I might have at home. It wasn’t until we were in the checkout line that I realized I’d never done this with Brian. I’d never done it with anyone.

I was a home-improvement-store-as-a-couple virgin.

The thought almost made me smile, until I realized we weren’t a couple.

My fragile mood plummeted as the young female cashier smiled wide at Sawyer despite him standing at my back with one hand on my hip as he unloaded stuff onto the counter to be rung up.

I reached for my purse to get my wallet, but his hand covered mine, stopping me.

His lips brushed my ear as his voice dropped. “I got it.” He kissed my temple.

Three simple words, one single gesture, but I felt them race up my back and sink low in my belly, sending a shiver of awareness across my whole body.

I didn’t argue with him about paying. Instead, I watched the muscles and veins in his forearms flex as he pulled his own wallet out and paid with a credit card.

Politely thanking the cashier, but not making eye contact, he took the receipt, then his lips brushed past my ear again and he tapped my leg. “Step up. On the cart.”

I didn’t hesitate. I put both feet on the bottom rack of the cart.

His chest closed in on my back, his arms locked around my sides, and he sped up his stride.

He took me on a ride.

Fresh air and wind hit my face and something extraordinary happened. Something I didn’t think I would be capable of again.

I smiled.

I smiled freely all the way to his SUV.

I smiled contentedly as he opened the back.

I smiled like a schoolgirl as he caught my gaze and winked.

And I smiled blissfully as he took me in his arms.

Pulling me in close, pressing me against his hard body, he hugged me.

He hugged me, and he made me feel.

“That smile.” He kissed my hair. “That’s what I was looking for.”