Chapter Forty-One
H is finger sank into me where no man had ever touched as his giant cock slammed into my core, hitting the very end of me, and blinding me to all reason. Pain bled into pleasure in a thick swirl of confusion my body didn’t know how to process.
I screamed. I moaned. I felt my inner muscles tightening again far too soon.
“No, no, no ,” I cried out, gripping handfuls of sheets in an attempt to hold on to my sanity.
The wet smacking sound of two bodies in heat instantly stopped. His cock roughly jerked out of my core, his finger slid out of my ass, and the abrupt loss of his touch almost destroyed me.
His heavy breathing filling the sudden silence, he spoke. “Are you telling me to stop?”
Oh God, oh God, oh God .
His tone, the hint of barely detectable anger, the gravelly intensity to his voice—the last thing I wanted was for him to stop, but something was happening that I didn’t understand. Words vomited out of my mouth before I could stop them. “I want to please you.”
His voice turned deadly quiet. “Did I hurt you?”
So fucking much. “No,” I lied.
For three whole heartbeats, nothing moved except the drip of my own desire down my inner thigh.
Then he broke me.
“Get dressed,” he ordered.
“ What? ” I was off the bed before I knew what I was doing. “That’s it?”
His back to me, he picked his pants up. “Yes,” he said without an ounce of intonation.
“What’s wrong with you?” Confused, hurt, embarrassed, sexual frustrated like I’d never experienced—I didn’t ask the question, I yelled it.
He spun, and a fury I didn’t think he was capable of contorted his entire face. “ You lied .” The two words spit out of his mouth like accusation, judgment and conviction.
“No I didn’t!” I yelled back.
“ I hurt you ,” he roared.
I couldn’t help it, I burst into tears. There was more emotion, more feeling, more everything in a single thrust of his body inside mine than anything I’d ever experienced, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
So I just told the truth.
“Yes,” I cried. “You did hurt me. You hurt my pride, you hurt my feelings and you hurt my body. Every second around you is a precipice I don’t know how to navigate. I only know if I fall, it’ll hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt, because for once in my life, I dared for a second, just for a second , to hope for the promise you were dangling. That fairy tale of finding your soul mate. So yes, you hurt me. Your body inside mine hurt. It hurt my core, it hurt my heart and it hurt my pride. But none of that hurt more than the impotent feeling of wanting to please you and not being able to because I didn’t know how to do… how to do…” I waved toward the bed and sucked in a breath. “I didn’t know how to do that .”
I didn’t wait for a response.
I grabbed my clothes off the floor and fled to the bathroom. Slamming the door shut and locking it, I turned the shower on and sank to the floor.
Then the tears came.
Every emotion I’d been holding back for a week, every emotion that didn’t come out when he’d stepped me under the cold spray of the water like a barbarian, every guilty feeling I was still struggling with, it all came out.
I hated a mother I could barely remember who abandoned me.
I hated Brian and his bullshit.
I hated planning other people’s parties and never having one myself.
I hated that I wasn’t good enough for a man like Sawyer Savatier.
And I hated all the tears because I wasn’t sad. I was mad.
But my emotions didn’t follow the rule book, so I cried. I cried so hard I didn’t hear the door open or notice two bare feet in front of me until it was too late.
Huge hands snaked under my arms, and I was lifted all the way up and onto the counter. My ass hit the cold surface, and he grasped the backs of my thighs, angling my legs around his waist.
Then he did the very last thing I was expecting.
He fisted himself and unerringly eased inside me.
My breath caught, and his hand cupped my face. His stark blue gaze landed on me, making me feel as if I were the sole focus of his entire being.
“You do please me,” he said, his deep voice calm and quiet again.
Oh God , the feel of him inside me. I forced myself to concentrate. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. That wasn’t me.” I wasn’t a yeller.
His giant cock pulsed inside me, but he didn’t pull back or thrust, he just held still. “You have to be truthful with me.”
“I….” Oh my God. “I didn’t know what you meant or how to answer your question.” I needed him to move.
“Answer it now,” he quietly demanded. “With honesty.”
“It felt dirty,” I blurted.
He didn’t take offense or even flinch. “Did it feel good?”
How did I answer that? “I’m not experienced.”
“I don’t need experienced.” His thumb swept over my check. “Answer the question.”
I ducked my head. “Yes.”
He tipped my chin. “And did I physically hurt you?”
“I-I don’t know. I’ve never felt anything like that. It felt… deep.” And life-altering and heartbreaking, and I didn’t want to think of Brian, because there was no comparison, but Sawyer, he was just so much bigger, in every way, that I didn’t have any ground to hold on to when it came to him.
Pushing my legs up, he thrust in deeper, hitting the very edge of my womb. “I’m as deep as I was before. Does this hurt?”
I bit my lip to keep from moaning. “Not now, but it’s….”
“It’s what?” he asked, grinding his hips.
He hit something profound inside me, and all at once my toes were curling, my nipples were achingly hard, and I was as desperate for more as much as I wanted to push him away. “It’s not comfortable,” I admitted.
Leaning toward me, he nipped my ear as his thumb found my clit. “I’m not trying to make you comfortable.”
“ Oh God .” My fingers dug into his rock-hard biceps. “What are you doing to me?”
He ground his hips again. “I’m hitting your cervix and stroking your G-spot. Your body is small, your cunt is tight and my cock is large. I’m bottoming out in you.”
Only a man like Sawyer Savatier could simultaneously make those words sound like sin personified and make me feel so, so sexy that it was me he was saying them to.
Suddenly panting, I had to concentrate to form words. “It hurts and it feels good all at once.” Desire leaked out of me and slid down the crack of my ass.
He ground against me again. “Is the pleasure more than the pain?”
Shit . “Yes.” Definitely yes . A thousand times yes.
“The more I’m inside you, the more you’ll get used to the intrusion.” Easing back as he spoke, he began to slowly thrust in and out of me.
“ Oh God , I like the sound of that. Wait, no,” I panted. “I love the sound of that, but what if—” I grunted as he bottomed out again. “What if I don’t want to get used to it?” Holding on to his arms for dear life, feeling like I was going to come again, I looked up at him. “What if I want it to feel like this every time?”
Without warning, his hands gripped my ass and he lifted me off the counter.
Squealing in surprise, my arms went around his neck, and then he was thrusting.
Hard .
Holding my weight, holding my ass, controlling my body, he gripped me and he fucked me.
Every single dominating thrust, he slammed into my cervix and stoked my G-spot.
My body slapped against his, and the pain I’d feared before bled into pleasure as the controlled expression he carried every second of every day turned into a fierce, hooded gaze, intense with lust and dominance.
“Come,” he demanded, not even out of breath.
“I….” Oh my fucking God . “I can’t.” I didn’t want to, not yet.
He slammed into me deep and gripped my ass so tight that when he ground against my mound, my clit wept with joy.
The orgasm exploded, touching every nerve in my body.
My mouth opened, a wail crawled out of my throat, and my pussy spasmed as my nails dug into his flesh.
“ Sawyer ,” I cried.
A growl, part groan, all roar, vibrated his chest, and his pulsing cock left my spent pussy a split second before his hot come shot all over my stomach.
Then he abruptly dropped me to my feet as his hand swept through his release on my stomach. “Turn around.” He barked out the order.
I spun.
“Chest on the counter, legs spread.”
His short, clipped, dominant demands throwing me off guard after his orgasm and mine, I did what he said without question.
My breasts landed on the counter that had been warmed by my ass, and I spread my legs.
His fingers, wet and thick, slid down the crack of my ass.
I sucked in a surprised, nervous gasp.
He shoved a finger into my ass at the same time as he pinched my clit.
I gripped the edge of the counter and went on tiptoe as my body clenched against the invasion. “Oh my God.”
“Exhale,” he demanded, stilling his hand.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit . I tried to breath out deep, but I couldn’t. I was being filled in a way I’d never imagined, and the sensation of his fingers in my ass and simultaneously on my clit had me reeling. I didn’t know if I was coming again, or if I’d ever stopped, but the painful need to release was there again, and it was making me so edgy, I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what.
“I said, exhale ,” he ordered, working my body.
Sucking in a deep breath so I would be forced to let it out, I did as he said.
I exhaled.
His finger, hot and wet with his release, slid deeper inside my ass, and he circled my clit with tantalizing pressure.
Stepping close behind me with his cock still hard, he rubbed against the back of my thigh as he brought his lips to my ear. “My come belongs inside you.”
Oh my fucking God.