Chapter 8
Alice
I haven’t changed out of my dress yet. I don’t know how to take it off without some help. All the damn buttons are on the back.
Leaning on the balcony railing, I look out at the palace grounds, my thoughts conflicted. I should be happy. In a way, I am. But I’m also terrified of what this fated mate bond means for me. Even if Darian accepts me, what about his father? What about everyone else?
The thoughts eat away at me. Suddenly, the world that was so predictable till now is far too vast and terrifying. Getting embroiled with the royal family is not what I wanted.
While I’m not upset about having been forced to leave the ballroom, I do wonder where Mary is. It’s getting close to three in the morning, and she’s still not back. The ballroom is quite far from the east wing. It took me twenty minutes to get here, a testament to how large the palace truly is.
This dress is quite uncomfortable. And I haven’t even pulled the pins from my hair because I wouldn’t know where to start. It’s all piled up on top of my head in some elegant updo that Mary was convinced gave me a sophisticated aura. As opposed to looking like an ape as usual, I suppose.
The sound of banging on the door makes me straighten.
“Alice!”
I blink, recognizing Darian’s voice.
Hurrying to the other end of the suite, I grip my dress and lift it so that I don’t accidentally fall over and break my nose. When I open the door, Darian is leaning against the jamb, the first few buttons of his shirt undone and that fancy coat he was wearing nowhere to be seen. His hair looks messy, and he’s clutching a bottle that looks and smells like scotch.
When he sees me, he smiles a charming, boyish grin. “There’s my girl.”
“Are you drunk?” I ask, stunned. Before he answers the question, I snatch the bottle away from him. “Get inside.”
He’s staggers past me, and I close the door behind him.
“What are you doing, showing up here drunk? Somebody could have seen you!” I demand before getting a good look at his face. My anger fades to give way to concern. Something’s wrong. I don’t know what, but I can sense it.
“You are my fated mate.” He grabs my jaw and kisses me fiercely. “I’d like to see anybody keep us apart.”
My body reacts to his touch, but I still have some sliver of common sense in me, unlike him. “Darian, what’s wrong?”
He stares at me with a dissatisfied expression on his face. “How do you know something’s wrong?”
“I just do.”
“You think you know everything, don’t you?” He glowers at me. “You thought I would turn away from you because you don’t have a wolf spirit, didn’t you?”
I swallow. “So, you know.”
Darian leans forward before flicking me on the forehead lightly with his thumb and forefinger. “I do, and guess what? I’m still standing here.” He gestures widely with his arms.
Those simple words have my eyes burning. He’s right. He is still here.
“I’m your fated mate, Alice. I’m never going to leave your side.”
His words pierce my heart. Back on the terrace, when I heard the confusion in his voice, I felt shell-shocked. I was so certain that he didn’t know the truth. I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong. “What about your father? Will he be okay with me?”
Darian’s hands cup my cheeks. “He’s not the one who has to live with you, now, is he? And besides, it doesn’t matter to me what anyone thinks. You are mine. That’s all that matters. Nobody can rip us apart.”
I always promised myself that I would never allow a man’s words to sway me. I had to learn from an early age that I couldn’t trust anybody, but now I find myself believing what Darian is saying, his sincere gaze tearing down the walls I have spent years erecting.
Warmth spreads within me, and my lips curve slightly.
“Don’t you worry about what anybody else thinks,” he continues adamantly. “You just look at me. Nobody else matters.”
His tone bothers me. Is it only me, or is there a desperate tinge to his voice?
“I am looking at you, Darian.” I wrap my hands around his wrists. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing.”
Now I know he’s lying. “Whatever it is, I can handle it,” I reassure him.
His jaw tightens. “You don’t have to handle anything from now on. I’m here to do it for you. Trust me. Everything is fine. I’ll make sure of it.”
This clearly has something to do with me, but I don’t want to press him because the more I do, the more upset he gets.
“Why don’t you eat something?” I suggest, trying to take his mind off whatever is bothering him. “I brought some snacks with me, if you’re hungry.”
I drink on occasion, but not enough to get blackout drunk. I find that pairing food with alcohol always makes me feel better, and right now, the only way to bring Darian to some level of sobriety is to get him to eat. As shifters, our metabolism is faster than that of humans. We don’t stay drunk for very long, but the hangover that hits us is like a ton of bricks.
I lower his hands from my face and head over to where my bag is. I packed some food for the journey here, but I forgot to eat it. You can never go wrong with an egg salad sandwich.
I hold out the carefully wrapped sandwich to him. He stares at it as if it is something foreign, and then, out of nowhere, he lets out a bark of laughter.
“If you don’t want it—” I feel offended and am about to turn away when he grabs my hand and takes the sandwich from me.
“No. I want it. I want everything that you make.” He doesn’t start eating, just staring at me. “You make me feel seen. Do you understand that?”
I don’t.
My silence gives him all the answer he needs, and he chuckles, almost sadly. “I have always been the prince. But even now, after knowing my identity, you still treat me as the boy who sat with you by the lake. Maybe it’s silly in your eyes, Alice, but that’s important to me.”
I don’t know what to say to that. “I—” I struggle to utter something, anything, but it’s hard to form words when he’s looking at me with such an intense gaze.
He’s inching toward me.
He’s too close.
I feel his arms come around me, and I’m helpless to stop him.
When he lowers his mouth to brush against mine, my eyes flutter shut as I let out a breathy sigh.
Like the first time Darian kissed me, I find myself reeling at the contact. There is something so intimate, so deeply raw about the way he touches me, his hands diving into my hair, his mouth moving against mine, that I can’t think. I feel his fingers pull the pins out of my hair till it falls loose and wild. He grabs a fistful of it, his tongue piercing my lips, invading my mouth. A wanton sound escapes me as my lower body throbs in need.
I feel like I’m on fire, and I want more of it.
His fingers move to the back of my dress, and I hear a ripping sound. Before I can process what he is doing, I hear the door of the suite open, and we both jump apart.
“Alice!” Mary bounces in, all smiles. “Wait till you hear what I have to—Your Highness!” Mary almost falls over her feet in surprise. “I—Did I interrupt something? I can come back.”
She turns around to leave, and I nearly leap over the couch to get to her. Grabbing her by the shoulders, I force her to stop. “Darian was just leaving. Weren’t you, Darian?” My fated mate looks the furthest thing from happy, and when he opens his mouth, I know he’s going to say something rude. I don’t know how I know, I just do. I glare at him, repeating tightly before he can get a word in edgewise, “Weren’t you, Darian?”
I see the way his brows knit together, a sulky pout on his face that is not befitting a prince. “Sure I was.”
Grumbling under his breath, he heads out into the corridor, but not before picking up his bottle of scotch on the way. As he closes the door behind him, he throws me a dirty look.
I try not to feel guilty.
As soon as Mary is certain he is gone, she turns around to ask in a hushed, fascinated whisper, “Is he an alcoholic?”
“No. He got it for me,” I lie easily. “What took you so long?”
“Forget me.” She sinks into the armchair, watching me with a mischievous grin. “What were you two up to? And why is the back of your dress torn?”
“Mary.”
She sighs. “Fine, fine, I won’t ask. Although, it’s completely unfair that you’re sucking face with the prince of the Wolf Kingdom and won’t tell me about it.”
“Sucking face?” I echo.
She makes a horrifying sound, twisting her lips in a grotesque fashion that has me cringing.
“Whatever that is, it’s not what we were doing. Now stop it before your face stays that way.”
Mary sprawls out in the chair. “You missed the best part. Willow looked like she’d eaten a turd.”
I grin at my friend’s gleeful tone. “I didn’t see Willow. She must have been pissed!”
Mary is chortling now. “And Cyrus looked like he wanted to throw up. Thomas was furious. He went up to the king, and then the two of them disappeared. I saw Cyrus complain to his father. I think nearly everybody from our pack who’s here was shocked by this turn of events. No one expected you to be the Prince’s fated mate, especially since he’s so hot!”
“Wait…” I focus on one part of her story. “Why did Beta Thomas go talk to the king?”
Mary’s expression shifts into a troubled one. “You don’t think he went to tell the king about your lack of a wolf spirit, do you?”
My heartbeat quickens. “If he did, then the king wouldn’t let me be with Darian, would he?”
It’s so hard to maintain my composure in front of Mary. I’m starting to see some of the pieces coming together, and the picture they’re attempting to form is terrifying. Darian’s drunken behavior. His fierce words. Thomas’s private meeting with the king.
What if I was right? What if Darian truly did not know I don’t have a wolf spirit, and the king told him after finding out from Thomas? But then, the first thing Darian did was to come here and assure me that he still wants me.
I sink into the chair closest to me and bury my head in my hands. “When did things become this complicated, Mary?”
Mary crouches by my side. “What happened? Did Darian say anything to you? Were you two fighting when I came in?”
I shake my head. “Quite the opposite. He kept reassuring me that he would stand by my side, no matter what.” I give her a bewildered look. “What is going on, Mary? If Thomas told the king, there is no way the royal family will want me in their midst. I’m just setting myself up for failure.”
“Stop it,” Mary says vehemently. “You need to have a bit more confidence in Darian. If he says he’ll handle it, he’ll handle it. I keep telling you that you should rely on other people. Not everybody is a raging asswipe like Cyrus, or Willow, or even Thomas.” She sighs at my distraught look. “I know it seems complicated and messy, but sometimes good things happen. This is your good thing, Alice. Embrace it. Give Darian a chance to prove himself. You clearly like him. And he’s your fated mate on top of it. You have everything a girl could ask for, my friend. Don’t wreck it.”
I look at her, feeling lost. “I wish I could explain how hard it is to accept that any of this is happening. You wouldn’t understand—”
Mary leans back on her haunches and gives me a stern look. “Try me. Get it off your chest.”
I stare blankly at her, not knowing how to voice these messed up feelings inside me without sounding like a whiny brat. All my life, I’ve been despised and tossed aside, told how worthless I am, and suddenly, someone seems to want me desperately.
It doesn’t seem real. I don’t know how to wrap my head around it. What makes it worse is that whenever I’m around Darian, I don’t use common sense. I’ve always prided myself on being rational and levelheaded, and yet, when it comes to him, it’s like my brain cells begin to wither away.
Mary’s expression softens when I don’t speak. “You deserve love, too, Alice. And when you have a hard time believing that, you just tell me, and I’ll remind you. You are the nicest person I know. You deserve your happy ending. You deserve to have Darian in your life. It’s perfectly okay to open your heart to him. He won’t break it.”
“How can you say that with such confidence?” I whisper hollowly.
“Because I saw the way he looked at you,” Mary sighs. “Call me a romantic, but there was something about the way he was watching you. He looks like he’s madly in love. From the moment he entered the ballroom, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”
I want to remind her that I’ve only known him a few days, but I don’t think she’ll see it my way. She’s right, though. Being a fated mate is no small matter. I should put my trust in him. It might be difficult to open my heart to this man, but I can at least try.
*****
I am fully determined to keep a low profile at the upcoming events and meals. However, when I enter the breakfast banquet the next morning, all eyes turn toward me.
I swallow.
“I told you we should have come later,” I whisper to Mary.
Breakfast is taking place on the palace grounds. Small, round tables have been set up, and there is a buffet. People are mingling, the conversation light-hearted and easy. But most of it fades when I arrive.
“Should we leave?” Mary asks, but before I can answer, I hear a voice from behind me.
“Do you ladies need a partner?”
I look over my shoulder and see a handsome wolf shifter. His skin is dusky, his brown eyes twinkling. Mary is gaping at him, and I wonder if I should tell her that she’s beginning to drool a little.
“We’re quite alright,” I begin, but his lips turn upward in a smile.
“You do realize that the moment you approach any one of these tables, you will be swarmed by the other guests.”
I cast an anxious look around the banquet area. “We’ll come back later.”
“The hunting event is in two hours,” the man says before holding out his hand to me. “My name is Jason Marrock. I am the alpha of the Shadow Pack.”
Mary’s eyes widen. “You are the Jason Marrock?”
I cast her a questioning look, but she just shakes her head, blushing brightly.
“I see your friend knows who I am. But you don’t?” He looks surprised.
Before I can try to come up with an answer, Mary takes over. “My friend here doesn’t pay much attention to pack politics. Alice, Alpha Marrock is the youngest alpha ever in the Wolf Kingdom. He’s incredibly talented. King Edward even tried to recruit him into the royal army once. Jason turned him down.”
I give the man before me a strained smile. “Are you here to take him up on his offer?”
Jason chuckles. “No. I came here with the hopes of finding my fated mate. I wasn’t so lucky the past few years. I’m starting to think that perhaps I should look elsewhere.”
He gazes at me for a long time, and I smile awkwardly. “Well, there are plenty of eligible girls here. I’m sure you’ll find somebody you like. Excuse us.”
I take Mary’s hand and drag her toward the trees, away from the crowded tables. Mary is muttering something to herself, and when I stop, out of sight of everyone, she slaps me on the arm. “What is wrong with you? He was hitting on you!”
“What?” I gape at her. “No, he wasn’t.”
“That whole speech about not having found his fated mate and now deciding to look elsewhere?” Mary says in a mocking tone before smacking me on the arm again. “He was looking at you, Alice!”
“Stop hitting me!” I scowl. “What did you want me to do? I already have a fated mate. Why would he hit on me if he knows I already have someone, that someone being Darian?”
“Because Darian wasn’t around, you idiot,” my friend bursts out. “He should be here, by your side, to let everyone know that you are taken. You really have no idea how this works, do you?”
I stare at her. “I think my head is going to explode.”
“Fated mates verbally accept each other after the red thread appears. If they don’t, others consider them fair game. It’s something of a competition among the unmated shifters, and if one of the fated mate pairs is powerful, they try even harder to court them till the last day.”
“But fated mates mostly choose each other, don’t they?” I ask slowly.
“Mostly, yes.” Mary shrugs. “Anyway, I have a feeling that Willow might have spread information about you not having a wolf spirit, but I don’t know if that’ll be enough to hold off the other men. The fact that you are Darian’s fated mate makes you special. And—” She sniffs me again, frowning. “Seriously, why do you smell so good?”
I push her away. “Will you stop that?”
But Mary moves closer, her expression grim. “Wait. There’s something about your scent.”
“Mary, now isn’t the time to joke around.” She moves along my arm to my neck, and I turn stiff. “What is it?”
“Your scent is changing.” She leans back, looking astounded. “That’s why I couldn’t put my finger on it. It’s tantalizing. To a female like me, it smells sweet, but to men, it might smell irresistible. You smell like power.”
“Like power?” I repeat, wondering if she went and hit her head somewhere. “You’re going to have to explain that because power isn’t a smell!”
She gestures with her hand, frustrated. “I don’t know how to explain it. This is something I learned in one of my classes when I was in the training program to become a healer: scent is very important to male shifters when choosing a mate. The purer a scent, the more powerful a wolf shifter is supposed to be. This is especially true for female shifters. Before, your scent has always felt diluted, just a bit off. But ever since a few weeks ago, it’s begun to change. Wait…” She makes a face, thinking. “Not a few weeks. You know that day in your apartment when I told you that you smelled different? That was the first time I caught the change. I didn’t put two and two together at the time, but now, it’s growing stronger.”
“You’re saying my scent is pure?” I sniff myself. “I don’t smell anything.”
“I’m telling you, it’s true,” Mary insists. “And if you don’t believe me, you can ask Darian. You smell strong. No other way to explain it.”
“But I’m not strong,” I remind her, exasperated.
She shrugs. “Don’t ask me. I’m just telling you what I’m noticing, but you should probably talk to Darian. He shouldn’t be leaving you alone like this at any of the events. Otherwise, you’ll start gaining a bunch of suitors.”
“I don’t have a wolf spirit, Mary!” I enunciate each word. “What does it matter if my scent is pure or diluted? I’m not a powerful shifter.”
“But you can produce powerful pups,” Mary scoffs. “A lot of male shifters look for that in a mate. Some of them may not care that you don’t have a wolf spirit. Talk to Darian. It could be—” She cuts herself off, a strange look forming on her face. “Never mind. That’s not possible.”
“What?”
She shakes her head. “Forget it. Let’s go grab some breakfast.”
I peek out from behind the tree, mentally drained from this conversation. Most of the wolf shifters have already eaten and left. We quickly hurry over to the buffet, and as I’m piling food on my plate, I feel a pair of eyes on me. When I look over my shoulder, I see Jason leaning against a tree in the distance, watching me. He doesn’t approach me, but his chin lifts when he catches me looking over.
I wince. “Do you think we can take this to our room?”
Mary has a piece of bacon in her mouth, and she shakes her head. “I don’t think so. Let’s just find a quiet spot to eat before the hunting competition begins. We have to get dressed for that.”
We find an empty table, and as we’re eating, I catch a few shifters coming our way. However, to my surprise, Jason steps in front of them, stopping their descent toward us. He’s getting rid of them, letting us have our breakfast in peace.
When our eyes meet, he grins at me and mouths, “I’ve got this.”
I can’t help but smile. Maybe I misjudged him.
*****
The hunting event takes place in the early afternoon, and the premise is simple. All the male shifters head into the palace woods, which are crawling with dangerous animals. There’s no prize involved aside from the ego of each shifter. The one who brings back the most kills is commended, and each male shifter dedicates his prey to his preferred female.
Among the females, this event is something akin to a popularity contest. The female with the most men presenting their prey to her is to be envied. At least, that’s how Mary explains it to me. I’m far too busy making sure I don’t fall on my face in this dress to care.
“We live in modern times,” I complain. “Why do we have to wear dresses from the Victorian era? I don’t even know how to walk in this thing!”
“It’s not from the Victorian era. It’s just a style.” Mary searches the grounds. “Where is Darian? He should have escorted you here.”
“Probably with the king.”
I feel so uncomfortable with all these people staring at me. I don’t want to be here. I’m completely out of my element.
“Look sharp!” Mary suddenly hisses. My eyes lift to follow her gaze, and I see Thomas and Willow approaching us.
My first instinct is to step back. But there’s nowhere to run. Even if I tried, it would be physically impossible in this dress.
“Alice.” Thomas’s voice is cold. “Come with me. I want to have a word with you.”
My blood chills at his tone. I’ve heard it plenty of times before. But Thomas won’t beat me here. He can’t. Not at the royal palace. And besides, I’m the crown prince’s fated mate. He can’t do anything to me.
Right?
“She’s waiting for Prince Darian.” Mary jumps to my rescue, but Thomas gives her a withering look that has my friend shrinking.
“I’m not speaking to you, Mary. Come with me, Alice. I’m not going to ask you twice.”
He grabs my wrist and begins dragging me away.
“Stop!” Fear rears its terrifying head within me. “I don’t want to go with you!”
“Shut up or I’ll rip that unruly tongue out of your mouth!” he snarls.
I see some eyes on us, but nobody steps in to interfere.
“Let go of me!” I cry out.
“Stop making a scene or I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget,” Thomas snaps at me.
Willow giggles, an odd sound in this tense situation. Before I can scream, a hand comes to wrap around Thomas’s wrist.
“I believe she said she doesn’t want to go with you.”
I hoped it would be Darian coming to my rescue, but to my surprise, it’s Jason. He looks angry.
“Alpha Marrock.” Thomas is clearly displeased. “This is a pack matter. Don’t get involved.”
Jason twists my beta’s wrist, and he is forced to release me. “Be that as it may, she does not want to go with you. Pack matters should be handled within the pack, not in public settings. Stop making a scene.”
When he throws Thomas’s words back at him, the older man bristles. But he isn’t the one who speaks next; it’s Willow.
“Don’t bother yourself with her, Alpha Marrock. She’s not as important as you think. Haven’t you heard? Prince Darian is going to reject her. She doesn’t have a wolf spirit.”
“Willow!” Her father glares at her, but Willow merely puts on a petulant scowl.
“What? It’s true. Everybody’s talking about it. Our whole pack knows the truth. Denying it isn’t going to change anything. She’s worthless. Alice just wants to feel important, so she’s strutting around acting all arrogant. Prince Darian is going to reject her. The king said so himself.”
Despair fills me. Is that why Darian wasn’t at breakfast? Is that why I had to arrive to this event alone while all the other females who found their fated mates were accompanied by their partners? The king told Darian to reject me?
“Reject her?” Darian’s voice booms from behind me as he grabs me by the waist and pulls me into his chest. “What made you think I’m going to reject my fated mate?”
Willow turns pale, but she’s still defiant, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Your Highness, it must not have reached your ears, but your fated mate isn’t a full wolf shifter. She’s not even a half-breed. She has no wolf spirit. The royal palace doesn’t need a queen who can’t even shift.” Disgust is evident in her tone. “The Wolf Kingdom will never respect such a queen.”
My jaw tightens, but there’s nothing I can say to refute her words. Everything she said is true.
“If they won’t respect her, I will make them respect her,” Darian snarls. “And I know everything about Alice. Next time, Beta Thomas, if you put your hands on my woman, I will forget who you are. You may have my father’s ears, but I am the one who will become the king. I can strip you of your position in a heartbeat.”
I’ve never seen anybody threaten Thomas before, and it must be effective because he turns white as a sheet. “I was simply trying to have a discussion with Alice.”
“Next time you want to have a discussion with her, you can go through me, and there will always be someone else present in the room.”
Thomas refuses to back down. “You haven’t given her the mating mark yet. She’s still part of my pack, and as such, I have authority over her.”
“No, you don’t. I’m denying you your authority over Alice. Would you like to question my decision?” Darian responds calmly.
“What are you doing, Your Highness?” Willow sounds shocked and a little bit frustrated. “Look at her. You can have your pick of attractive women, and you want her? Her education, her manners in society—everything is lacking. How can you want something like that as your mate?”
I hear two growls at the same time. To my surprise, Jason is also glaring at Willow.
“I heard you raised your daughter to be a graceful female, Beta Thomas,” Jason says coolly, looking down his nose at Willow. “There’s nothing graceful about this woman. You have not raised your daughter well.”
“If you or your daughter ever say something about Alice again,” Darian adds harshly, “I’ll make sure no respectable shifter will choose to be with Willow.”
Thomas immediately pushes his daughter behind him. “You’re crossing a line, Your Highness. Threatening my daughter—”
“Threatening her?” Darian gives him a smile. “That was a promise. It would be best if you and your daughter stay away from Alice for the remainder of this gathering. Otherwise, we will have a problem.”
Too many eyes are on us, and Thomas also realizes that. Taking Willow by the hand, he pulls her away.
Darian turns his attention to Jason. “She’s spoken for, Alpha Marrock. Stop sniffing around my mate.”
Jason doesn’t look deterred. Instead, he gives Darian an amused look. “She doesn’t appear claimed to me, Your Highness. Your intended is an interesting woman. Keep an eye on her, or I may just decide to court her.”
With that, he walks off.