Chapter Thirteen
Seraphina
The world drifted back into focus. The darkness lifted, and colors bloomed like wildflowers. At first, disorientation clouded my mind, hazy shapes melding in and out of the fog, but as consciousness washed over me, I registered the pale walls of the infirmary. The scent of herbs lingered in the air—robust yet comforting. Yet, dread lingered as I tried to remember why I was lying in the infirmary.
As my surroundings came into focus, my gaze locked onto the two figures at the foot of my bed—Tyler and Logan. Seriousness was etched into both their faces. My heart sped, memories flooding back. The last remnants of darkness fell away—my mind skipping over fragments of what had happened: the Black Moons attacking us on the mountain, how Tyler and Logan threw themselves in front of me—protecting me from the impact of the curse, and how it had taken all of my magic to lift the curse from them.
But the presence of the two men at my side was full of even more confusion as a flush of warmth ignited through me at the sight of both of them.
“Seraphina,” Tyler said, his voice a deep timbre, punctuated with heart-breaking relief that made me wish I could hammer down all of these confusing emotions churning through me. “How are you feeling?”
I shifted slightly, the blankets rustling around me as I drew myself up against the headboard. How was I feeling? Unbelievably confused.
My attention landed on Logan, who stood a little closer than Tyler. Instantly, Logan’s presence pulled at something deep within me. The revelation crashed over me—as vast as an ocean wave—Logan was my fated mate. The weight of that knowledge sunk into my chest, heavy and potent, pressing me to think of a future I’d never anticipated.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling like the Moon goddess was playing a cosmic joke on me. Igaluk, with all her caprice, had tied me to another. I couldn’t escape the bond’s undeniable tug, but beneath the shimmering strand was a deep-rooted instinct—to recoil and resist it.
In a moment, I remembered the Moon goddess’s words from my dream, “Every wolf shifter should have a fated mate.” My heart punched my chest as I realized that even if I severed the bond, she’d pair me with someone else. If it weren’t Logan, it would be another. As I engaged in a silent battle, I ultimately abandoned the thought of severing this bond. So far, trying to shape my own fate hadn’t gone well.
“Is Logan your fated mate?” Tyler’s question cut through my reverie. His gaze searched me. His voice was mixed with concern and something rawer.
I hesitated, then nodded. “He is.”
The admission felt heavy on my tongue, a mix of resignation and caution. I didn’t say what else I felt—that while I felt the bond, tension churned within me. My wolf was restless, panting anxiously in the background, crying out for freedom and flattening herself down as if she were getting ready to bolt. She didn’t long for Logan, nor did she welcome the prospect of being tied to him. Instead, she actively resisted the bond, clawing at the very fibers that bound us.
But I wouldn’t reveal that—the heaviness in my chest was mine alone. For now, I needed to compartmentalize things. This new obstacle the Moon goddess had presented me with needed to be dealt with.
“Tyler,” I said, steeling myself for what had to come next. “Can you please give us some privacy?” The request fell from my lips, wrapped in unyielding determination, although my heart twisted as I watched the light fade from his bright eyes.
“Seraphina…” He opened his mouth to protest, but the resolute firmness spread like wildfire through my veins as I locked eyes with him, searching for the resolve to stand firm.
I shook my head, shooing away the brewing storm in his gaze. “Please, Tyler. I need to talk to Logan. Alone.”
He hesitated, glancing from me to Logan, confusion and concern lacing his features, before finally conceding. “All right.” He cast a last glance back at me. My wolf rose up, and I felt her frantic energy as if she were nipping and nudging me to stop him. She didn’t want to part with him. It was a feeling that only intensified with the anguished look Tyler gave me before exiting the infirmary. But he went, leaving Logan standing by my side.
As soon as Tyler’s footsteps faded into the distance, I turned my focus to Logan, who remained rooted in place. I tried to fool myself into thinking the intensity with which he looked at me was no different from the hawkish way he’d watched me these last few weeks. But an undercurrent of something more simmered just beneath my skin.
“Logan,” I began, my voice steady despite my racing heart. “We need to talk about this… bond.”
His expression shifted, the warmth radiating from him instantly at odds with the heaviness dragging me down.
“You don’t want to be with me,” I blurted out, needing him to hear my truth.
“What do you mean?” Surprise sparked in his brown eyes. “You’re my fated mate. Of course, I want to be with you!” He spoke with such earnestness as if this were a clear-cut situation. I frowned. This was anything but clear-cut.
I pressed on, ignoring the jagged pain twisting deeper in my chest—the rawness of his emotion, which I felt through this new bond already joining us.
“I mean, I’m not ready for a romantic relationship.” I took a breath, struggling at where to begin. The bond in my chest felt like a snarled, tangled mess. “I only came back to the pack to clear my parents’ names.”
His brow furrowed, confusion clouding his features. But even that look didn’t entirely conquer the unmistakable faith he’d already placed in our bond, which thrummed in my chest. It beat loudly through my body, its presence feeling suffocating.
He approached slowly, looking at me as if I were a skittish animal he was afraid would panic. “Can I sit down?”
I nodded. “Sure.”
He settled into the chair beside my bed. His next words surprised me. “What do you mean you came back to clear your parents’ names?”
I’d expected him to leap into talking about our bond. But the fact that he’d slowed down and listened to me put me a little at ease. I took a breath.
“Did you know the Shadow Moon Pack was invaded by the Black Moons a few months ago?” I asked.
Logan nodded. “I heard they defeated the Black Moons.”
I nodded in agreement. “I was staying with the Shadow Moon Pack at the time, with my friend Selina and Alpha Alexis. After the invasion, Alexis sent out scouts, hoping to capture remnants of the invaders. A few weeks ago, he succeeded. During his interrogation of this Black Moon prisoner, he discovered information about my parents.” I couldn’t help dropping my gaze as I shied away from seeing the animosity I was sure would flare in Logan’s gaze at the mention of my parents.
“The Black Moon prisoner told Alexis that my parents had been framed. He said that there was a traitor within our pack who had gotten my mother and father’s blood to the Black Moon witch. They used blood magic to ensure my parents’ wards and alarm failed.” Expecting his mistrust, I pre-emptively added, “Tyler has a letter detailing all this from Alpha Alexis.” I frowned, feeling the heat rising to my cheeks. “Given the new tie between us, I’m sure Tyler won’t mind that I’ve disclosed this information to you, and if you want proof of it, ask Tyler for the letter.”
“Seraphina,” he intoned. My gaze moved up to meet his. Logan’s forehead was wrinkled, but his brown stare watched me with earnestness. “Your word is all the proof I need.”
His comment, although refreshing, only reminded me of when I’d told Tyler this news and about Alexis’s letter. I heard Tyler’s low voice, “I have always trusted you. I will always trust you… if I’d only trusted you to guide me, my heart would still be whole.” My heart pounded in my chest, the memory and my wolf howling within, longing for Tyler.
Logan released a heavy sigh. “Now it’s my turn. Will you hear me out?”
I nodded, my chest filling with nerves.
“In light of this bond between us… and what you’ve just told me, I need to say how sorry I am. I’m sorry I made life here for you so hard.”
I worried the blankets between my fingers. I shrugged. “It’s in the past.” I didn’t want Logan to feel like he had to make up for how he’d mistreated me in the past, especially with the weight of this mate bond between us. I knew from the way he’d shielded me from that killing curse in the forest that he was a loyal, dutiful warrior. I could imagine how easily he could get it into his head that he had to make up for the way he’d treated me by being a steadfast mate to me now.
So, I pressed on, eager to assure him that his bullying hadn’t had as big an impact on my life as he thought. “I’ve moved on, Logan. I made friends at Silver Moon University and in the Shadow Moon Pack,” I said, honestly.
But instead of looking reassured by this, Logan’s face grew even more burdened. “You mean I drove you away? That I and the other packmates forced you to live elsewhere?”
I shook my head, hating the worry on his face.
With more honesty, I said, “Perhaps your bullying and that of some of the other packmates influenced me to go to Silver Moon University. But once I was there, I loved it. There, I’ve made lifelong friends, and these past two years have been some of the happiest of my life.” Once again, I ignored the tug of my wolf, who, at that moment, decided to raise her head and whimper at the fact that for the last two years, she’d been deprived of Tyler. Her restlessness said that she hadn’t been any happier than now.
Concern pooled like a potent potion in Logan’s gaze, and I felt how off-track I’d gotten. I forced myself to affirm what I really needed to.
“I know you and I don’t belong together, Logan. Not because of the past but because I don’t belong here. Because after I clear my parents’ names, I’m leaving again.”
“The bond in my chest says otherwise, Seraphina,” he said instantly, holding my stare. “We’re fated mates. We’re meant to be together.”
I shook my head, fighting against the tumult of emotions swirling in my chest.
“No. I need you to understand what I’m saying. This isn’t about you and me. I can’t—” I paused, searching for my next words, a strange tide of emotion strangling me as I thought of Tyler.
But I clung to my resolve again. I hadn’t come here for Tyler. And I hadn’t come here for Logan.
No matter what the Moon goddess thought, I didn’t want a fated mate. The bond between me and Logan thrummed with an intensity I was unprepared for, a relentless pull that stirred something deep inside me. Yet, the idea of surrendering to it felt like relinquishing my freedom—a freedom that had become precious after spending so long away from this place and battling everything that had happened here in the past.
“I can’t be in a relationship,” I said, my voice almost a whisper. “Once Tyler and I have found the truth about my parents, I’m leaving.”
The thought of leaving sent a tingling sense of hope coursing through me. My wolf growled softly, sensing the threat of being tethered to Logan. I couldn’t allow myself to become entangled in this bond, not when I was still trying to navigate my feelings for Tyler. The idea of being bound to someone—of losing the ability to choose my own path—chilled me. I’d tasted independence, and I wanted to savor it.
Logan leaned forward, a hopeful glow in his eyes. “But after we’ve proven that your parents were innocent, you can have friends here, too, Seraphina. You were born here. You grew up here,” he said with fervor. “Besides, the way you’ve fought to help the Silver Moons these last few weeks and on the mountain shows you’re one of us.”
I frowned, not sure of what to say to the heartfelt look in his eye. I’d been fighting to cure the illness so that we could focus on who the traitor was in our midst. I’d helped because doing so would unearth the truth and allow me to leave Tyler and the pack behind once and for all.
Frustration and annoyance fired through me, something that must have been obvious in my expression as Logan raised his hands and said, “You look like you’re going to use your magic on me.” His lips twitched, the motion recalling the way he’d looked at me on the mountain. He had almost smiled at me when I’d joked about not noticing him watching me these last few weeks. Confusion whipped through me as the bond between us thrummed with warmth… but my wolf pulled away as she felt the tug, hating the feel of the tether.
I crossed my arms over my chest, huffing. “It’s tempting to shut you up,” I griped.
He smiled fully now. “Tara told me that you did something like that to Linda and Elder Darius—I wish I’d been awake to see that.”
My lips lifted, and I felt a little easier. At the time, I hadn’t had a chance to enjoy it. I admitted, “It was pretty brilliant, even if I do say so myself.”
Tentatively, he said, “In light of what you’ve shared about the danger in the pack, will you please let me protect you while you’re here?” The same intensity that had characterized him as he shadowed me about the pack came over him, but there was undeniable warmth in his voice and a glow in my chest as he waited for my answer.
“I can take care of myself. You don’t need to—”
“You’ve expended a lot of your magic to heal me and Tyler. Will you please let me protect you, at least, until your magic’s back to full capacity?” he said, refusing to give up.
I frowned. He wasn’t wrong. I had expended all my magic on healing him and Tyler. It would take days of rest and then rebuilding my magic through training before I would be at full strength again. But I frowned. Why did he have to be so logical?
“Fine,” I agreed, my brow knitted.
The warmth I felt blooming in my chest was all Logan’s, and it only made me want to argue back again. “This doesn’t change anything. Once I’ve achieved my goal, I’m still going to leave.”
He lifted up his hands again. “Noted. Once your goal’s achieved, you’re going to choose to leave,” he said, feigning a neutrality of tone that was at complete odds with the warmth thrumming down the bond. When he said leave , the bond told me he thought I’d stay. The look in his eyes and the glow beating through my chest zinged with hope. My stomach roiled with nausea, recognizing that hopeful glow in my heart as the one I’d once felt toward Tyler—when I’d thought that things would work out. I didn’t want to inflict that kind of pain on Logan, but I’d been as clear as possible.
Needing some space from him, if only for a moment, I asked, “Do you think you could get me some peppermint tea?”
He leaned forward, attentiveness prickling over him. “Of course.” He stood up, his tall figure already striding away, and called over his shoulder with the hint of a smile on his face, “I won’t be long.”
I sank back into my pillows, hoping that the infirmary kitchen would be out of peppermint, wishing that he’d give me as long as possible to myself. Frustration and bitterness roiled through me. No matter what the Moon goddess thought, I hadn’t returned to be saddled with another mate. After my parents’ names were cleared, I was determined to be unfettered and free.