The Amendment (Arrangement #2)

Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

PETER

D arkness.

The world was dark.

Damp.

Cold.

Rank.

Something smelled.

My eyes were so dry, it was painful to open them. When I finally did, I opened one eye first, the heaviness in my head unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. Trying to blink only caused me more pain. I wanted to rub my eyes, but I was lying on my hand.

No, wait.

I wasn’t lying on anything.

I was sitting up.

And my hands were stuck behind me.

Both of my eyes were open then, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.

“Joanna?”

Her dark hair cascaded over her face in front of me.

“Joanna?” I groaned, trying to pull myself from sleep.

Why was I so tired?

Why was I in this room?

The room.

My room.

What the hell was happening with my hands?

I struggled to pull them free, but found I had no strength.

Why wasn’t she answering me?

“That sedative’s pretty strong, hm?” The voice came from behind me, and I jolted awake.

“Ainsley?” I tried to look behind me, but I couldn’t see a thing. The room was cloaked in darkness.

Shadows.

“What the hell is going on?” I demanded.

“Shouldn’t waste your strength,” she said, clicking her tongue.

“Is this a joke?” I remembered what she’d said. “You sedated me?”

“Just a drop in your wine. You’re not the only one who hung on to some of the sedatives after we killed Chris. I warned you about what would happen if you ever lied to me again.”

As she said it, I remembered Joanna. I glanced at her, still sitting in the chair I’d tied her to. Ainsley must’ve known I’d sedated her to get her there, but how did she know she was there in the first place?

“What are you talking about?”

“Did you honestly think I didn’t know you were still seeing Joanna?” Her voice was getting closer now. “I know the signs, Peter. I know how you get when you’ve got someone new to obsess over. The way you withdraw. The way you begin to ignore me. Ignore the kids.” She scoffed. “I guess we both had the same idea, going to see her separately. Problem was, I wanted to see her to help us. You only wanted to see her to help yourself.”

“That’s not true—”

“So, when I went to one of our sessions and Taylor said she’d gone on personal leave and hadn’t told her when she’d be back, I just knew I’d find her here.” I watched her move beside me, her shoes sliding on the concrete. Finally, she was in view, a knife in her hand. “I hoped I would be wrong, but I wasn’t. So, I continued my sessions here, same as you. By then, though, I was starting to realize I didn’t know what it was I was fighting for anymore.” She twisted her wrist, swinging the knife this way and that.

I swallowed, keeping my eyes trained on it. “What are you doing with that?”

“I was never going to be enough for you, was I?” She shook her head, looking bemused. “No matter what I did. No matter what I promised. No matter how understanding I was… This was never about me.” She twirled the end of the knife on her finger.

“Just put that down, so we can talk.”

“I thought if I proved to you that I was with you—no matter what—I just knew that finally you’d let me in. That things would go back to normal. But you don’t do normal, do you, Peter? Normal isn’t exciting enough for you? See, you can tell me all these lies about how it isn’t about attraction, it’s all about power, but…” She huffed. “I gave yo u the power. I backed off. I did everything right. I let you control it.”

“Control what?”

“Everything!” she shouted, swatting her leg. “Our lives. Us. Everything. I played the doting little wife, and it still wasn’t enough.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “And that’s when I realized this was never about me. It was always…about…you.” She pointed the tip of the knife at me. “See, I thought I could fix you. I thought somehow you were different from Chris and Jim and all these other monsters, because you had a good side. A loving side.” She faked a pout. “But I’m realizing that those sides don’t matter.”

“Of course they do—”

“They don’t.” She shook her head, backing away from me. “I will always love you, Peter, because you gave me our kids. And you gave them the best of yourself. But there is something deeply wrong with you. Something no amount of whatever I can do will fix. Turns out I’m not as good a fixer as I thought.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m done. I’m done trying. I’m done stressing. I’m taking my kids and doing what I should’ve done all those years ago when I found out what you were doing.” She bent over her knees, her hair dangling toward the floor as she released an exhausted gasp. “I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to do it.”

“Ains, I’m not like them… Look, you’re not making sense. I know you’re mad. I should’ve told you about Joanna, but she means nothing to me. I just wanted to pr otect you from her. I didn’t want you to have to be involved in any more—”

“Shut up!” she bellowed, moving toward me with the knife again. “Enough of your lies and your protection , Peter. The only thing I ever needed to be protected from was you.”

“That’s not true, that’s not—”

“It is. It is true.”

She wasn’t making any sense. She wasn’t being rational. I just needed her to calm down. To listen to me. I could make her understand. If she knew that Joanna had figured out the truth—that we’d never actually meant fencing— she’d understand. She had to.

“I never touched Joanna. Do you hear me? I had her here, not because I was obsessed with her, but because I wanted to keep her away from the police. I did that for you! For Maisy! You can ask her yourself. She’ll tell you—”

“No, I don’t think I can.” She cut me off, giving a wide shake of her head with a maniacal grin on her lips.

“What are you talking about?” My chest felt hollow.

“I’m sorry, Peter. If there was any other way, believe me, I’d have found it by now. But I can’t do this. I can’t keep living like this.”

“Living like what? What are you talking about? What are you going to do?” I scoffed. “Kill me? C’mon, Ains, we love each other. We’re in this together, right? A team? This is just a misunderstanding.”

“You’re right about one thing, Peter. There has been a misunderstanding… For several years now. But at this exact moment, I’m clearer than I’ve ever been. I don’t wa nt to be on a team with you. And you don’t really want to be on a team with me, either. For so long, I’ve wished you would. For so long. But wishing isn’t doing me any good anymore. You’ve shown me who you are, and now, I have to make a choice about who I am.” She jabbed her finger into her chest.

“Please, let’s just talk. What’s your plan? You have to at least have a plan… Let’s just figure this out. We can always figure things out, right? Ains? You and me?”

“I don’t need your help. I have a plan. I’m going to take the kids on a long vacation. When we come back, the house will have burned to the ground.”

Fear gripped my organs. Was she insane?

I took solace in the fact that if she burned the house, this room wouldn’t burn with it. It was concrete on every side. We’d be safe. But would I starve? I tried to calculate in my head how long I could last. How long would it take me to free myself?

As if she’d read my mind, she added, “I’ll start two fires. One in here, one in the house… You’ll have been supposed to join us, but we’ll return home when we start to worry. I’ve already typed out your goodbye email—well, more of a confession really—and scheduled it to send after we leave. The guilt of it all was just too much for you to bear.” She was emotionless as she said it. Cold and calculating.

“It’s the middle of the night. You can’t take them on vacation now. They’ll know something’s up. You aren’t being rational.”

“Oh, don’t worry. We aren’t leaving now. I’m going to tell them you got sent away for work and we’ll leave in a few days to meet you. But then, you’ll get sent away again before we get there.” She waved a hand as if to say it was too much to explain. “It’s a whole thing. But that’s the beauty of this room, isn’t it? No one will know you’re here. You can scream and shout and beg and cry… And no one will ever know.” She gave an accepting nod. “Well, no one but me, obviously. It’s kind of full circle, really. I’m sure you can’t appreciate the humor right now, but, you know…maybe someday.” She winced. “Or not.”

“You can’t do this. You’re not this person.”

“Correction: I wasn’t this person. But you made me into her.” She rested her hands on her hips, staring into space as the realization hit her. “It really is full circle, isn’t it? I’m killing you because you taught me how. And I’m doing it in the room where you killed a whole lotta people.” She chuckled, flipping her hair over her shoulder and glancing at the clock. “Anyway, we should probably get this over with.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out another syringe. “You shouldn’t feel a thing. I promise, I’m going to make it peaceful. I’ll at least give you that courtesy.”

“Ainsley, wait! Please.” She moved toward me, and I caught the glint of tears in her eyes. I could stop her. I could reason with her. She was close to breaking. I could break her. “Please. I love you. I love you. I swear. Think about the kids. Think about Maisy. They need me. They need their dad. Who’s going to walk her down the aisle? You can’t do this. Come on… What about our future? Our grandkids? Their graduations. Please. Please. You don’t want to do this. Trust me, you can’t handle it. It’ll destroy yo u! Please. I love you! God, I love you so much! Please don’t do this!”

She grabbed hold of my neck. “You’ve given me no choice.”

“I love you. Please, baby, please…” She lowered the syringe into my neck as I fought back, jerking and pulling at the ropes that bound my hands.

“You don’t have to do this,” I pleaded. “I’ll give you a divorce if that’s what you want. I’ll go away and you’ll never hear from me again. Just say the word and I’m gone. You can have everything—the house, the kids, whatever you—”

“Better a widow, with two and a half kids and a dog, than divorced.” She smiled at a joke I didn’t quite understand.

The room had begun to spin, my head feeling heavy. The injection site stung as she drew the needle out of my skin. “You…called…me the monster, but…you’re a monster…too.”

My vision grew fuzzy as I felt her lips on mine for what I knew would be the last time. Cool tears dripped from her cheeks to mine. She patted my face, sniffling.

“Maybe I am. Maybe we both are. But you, Peter, you created this monster. And now I have to be brave enough to kill it.” She released my cheek, letting my face fall forward.

Try as I might, I couldn’t summon the strength to lift it back up.

It was then I recognized the smell in the room.

The blood .

I scanned the portion of the room I could see and saw the pool of crimson under Joanna’s chair.

She was already gone.

I’d been robbed of the chance to end her life. Maybe that stung worst of all.

I closed my eyes, beginning to feel weak. Was I going to die from the sedative, starvation, or the fire? She hadn’t been clear.

I smiled to myself despite the fear. I had to hand it to her. If there was a way to go, I guessed this was it.

At the hands of the woman I’d made a wife, mother, and killer.

Full circle.