Chapter 10
10
DAIRE
Fionn’s words played in my mind, an echoing voice that teased me in ways I didn’t want to admit. The confidence was new and exciting, and while there was still an underlying hesitation that I was sure only I’d heard, the men would be fools not to respect the threat Fionn represented. He’d sounded more like Sloan than I was sure he’d wanted, and it was admirable to see, even if he’d admitted we were sleeping together. After my little show at the club, it was only fair for Fionn to regain some of his dignity. I owed him that much, at least.
Ignoring Sloan’s reaction to Fionn’s announcement wasn’t going to be possible, though.
Sloan crossed his arms. “Do you have something to say?”
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I couldn’t deny what Fionn had said, even though it wasn’t technically the entire truth. Sloan didn’t know as much as he thought he did, because he had no idea about my past feelings for Eoin, and he didn’t know about the situation between Fionn and me now. Falling for Fionn was a mistake. I didn’t want to use him as a replacement for Eoin.
Fionn deserved more than that.
Yet, I still had sex with him, didn’t I?
I’d had ex-boyfriends who reminded me of Eoin, and I’d been fine with that. They didn’t know Eoin, and they weren’t related to him, either. The longest relationship I’d been in had lasted two and a half years, and we’d broken up about seven months before Fionn’s eighteenth birthday party. Fionn had never met Trace, since I’d kept him far away from my work life.
Fuck. I needed to stop thinking about it. Eoin was dead.
“Well?” Sloan’s hard tone shocked me out of my thoughts. “You and Fionn are a thing?”
Conall sidled up beside his partner, and when Sloan raised his arm, Conall snuggled against his body. “It was obvious, though, wasn’t it?” He nudged Sloan with a smirk. “You even told me you thought they were fucking.”
“Pet.” Sloan slapped him on the ass, earning a pleasured hiss in answer. “Language.”
“Are you going to gag me for using the F-word?” Conall stroked a finger down Sloan’s chest. “Because I can get behind that, or should I say, you can get behind me ?”
I cleared my throat to distract them from each other. If I gave them the chance, they’d turn a simple conversation into fucking in a matter of minutes, and while I didn’t mind watching them have sex, this wasn’t the time.
“Fionn’s an adult. What happens between us is private.” I smiled. “Not all of us enjoy an audience.”
Conall’s tongue poked out from the corner of his mouth. “Really? What do you call the whole throwing Fionn over your shoulder at the club, then? Isn’t that how he got into this predicament in the first place?”
“Which reminds me. You called last night to tell me he was at Bellissimo, that you handled it. If it was a sex game, why did you bother contacting me?” The suspicion in Sloan’s gaze had me shifting uncomfortably. Damn it.
“It wasn’t a lie.” I shrugged. “I didn’t know he was going to be there, which is how it became so public. We hadn’t planned on meeting there.”
“And what?” he drawled, glaring. “You decided to take matters into your own hands?”
“No, he took Fionn into his own hands.” Conall snickered and it earned him another smack to the ass, this one harder. A pained sound left him and he huffed. “I thought it was funny.”
Sloan’s lips quirked. “We’re having a serious conversation, pet.”
“What does it matter?” Conall waved his hand at me. “He and Fionn are fucking. They have their kinks, and we have ours. Let them have fun.”
“It matters because Fionn represents my company.” Sloan released his hold on Conall and stepped back, staring down at him with the kind of intensity that would’ve scared anyone who wasn’t his pet. But Conall raised his chin, meeting the look with an expression of defiance. “He must not show weakness.”
Conall gaped. “Really, Boss? Because I’m yours, and you show me off like you’re whipping out your dick and swinging it around in the wind.” He tugged at the red collar around his neck with a forefinger. “You even signed your name with this thing.”
Sloan frowned. “Pet . . . .”
“You can’t have double standards, Sloan. It’s not fair.” Conall’s eyebrows furrowed and he pressed his mouth together. “If showing off your partner is okay for you, it should be the same for him. Let him flaunt Daire and their kinks, if that’s what they want, but teach him how to look strong doing it—how to not give a shit what people might think of it. How you would, how a boss would.”
I felt like I was intruding in a private argument. While Sloan had softened a lot toward Conall since he’d first claimed ownership over him, Conall didn’t push many boundaries with Sloan. He respected the boss and refused to use Sloan’s weakness for him to get his way. Well, most of the time. At least, when it came to business decisions.
Sloan glanced at me and waved his hand. “Go find Fionn. My pet and I have things we need to discuss.”
I had a feeling instead of discussions that it would involve Sloan’s cock in Conall’s ass as he fucked him hard into submission. Tilting my head in acknowledgement, I left the room and walked down the hall. I passed the nurses’ station again, and before I could ask, Meredith pointed in the direction of the entrance.
“Outside.” Her lips pursed knowingly.
I nodded my quiet gratitude and headed out the doors that led into the waiting room, then out the entrance.
“Stop. The question is simple. How much do you actually need?”
Fionn’s quiet, sad voice caught my attention, and I turned to see him standing with his back to me, still on the sidewalk but closer to the hospital’s wall. His shoulders were hunched, and even though he was no more than murmuring, I would hear him in a crowd of a hundred yelling people. As much as I tried to deny it, his energy called to me.
“I know, Mom. It’s just... that’s a lot of money.”
I tensed.
Fionn was talking to Annabelle?
I hadn’t heard from her since Eoin’s funeral, and while Sloan had told me he was giving her and the other boys a fair amount of money to live off monthly, I had always believed it wouldn’t be enough for her. When Eoin was working, she’d always wanted more . A bigger house. A nicer car. New jewelry. Vacations in Europe. Eoin joked that she’d bleed him dry when it came to money.
“Of course I care about Deer and Bellamy. They’re my brothers. But why do they need that kind of stuff? A car for Bellamy? Isn’t he living on campus?” He heaved a sigh. “I know. It’s just—” He paused and listened, and his shoulders tensed. “That isn’t fair. I’m taking care of business, all right? Don’t do this.”
My stomach squirmed with a fiery anger I didn’t know I was capable of. I’d walked this Earth as a numb man for a long time, and rage was an emotion I’d forgotten how to feel. Until Fionn. It was easier and safer to live in this world as nothing more than a robot, a loyal servant to Sloan. Yet, the fury that thrummed in my chest like a drum was a welcome sensation as I realized what was happening.
Annabelle was manipulating Fionn for money.
Annabelle was making Fionn feel guilty.
Annabelle was using her son for her own gain.
No, this wasn’t going to happen on my watch.
I shot forward and ripped the phone out of his hand. He gasped but didn’t have time to react before I turned my back and slotted the phone against my ear.
“Annabelle?” I asked gruffly.
The sound of surprise she made was enough confirmation.
“It’s Daire.” Though, I suspected she already knew my voice. “If you ever call Fionn for money again, I won’t hesitate to tell Sloan, and we both know how that’ll go. This manipulation will stop now, or so help me God, I will make you regret it. Am I clear?”
She exhaled loudly. “Yes.”
I ended the call just as Fionn launched himself at me. I caught him around the waist and lifted him like he weighed nothing, shifting him back toward the wall of the hospital. He struggled and bashed a fist against my chest, which stung but wasn’t pain that would make me drop him. I’d been shot in the past and tortured in all kinds of ways, and worst of all, I was treated like a backup to my brother by my parents. A punch didn’t hold a drop of the agony I’d been through.
“What did you do?” Fionn raged when I finally set him back on the ground. “Fuck. That was my mom!”
No, she wasn’t. She’d stopped being anything to him the moment she’d given him to Sloan, but I understood Fionn. He wanted to hold on to the idea of her. Hope was where men went to die in these situations.
“I know who it was.” I raised my arm, keeping the phone out of his reach. “And I know what she wanted. Your mother hasn’t changed since the first day I met her, and she got her claws into your father. She wanted money. She always wants money.”
His cheeks flooded a deep red and he winced. “So? She’s my mom .”
“And you’re her son ,” I hissed, surprising him into taking a step back with wide eyes. “It’s her job to protect you, to help you, not the other way around. How long have you been giving her cash?”
He shook his head and glanced away. “It doesn’t matter.”
I grasped his chin in a tight hold and wrenched his head around so he was forced to look at me. “How. Long?”
“It’s not for her, it’s for Deer and Bell.”
“Bullshit, boy.” The words came out so savagely that Fionn sucked in a deep breath and took a step back, his body flush to the wall of the hospital. The expression in his stare wasn’t fear, but something more animalistic—a deep-rooted desire that made my cock stir. “Diarmuid and Bellamy can take care of themselves. They’re not teenagers anymore.”
“Bell’s twenty-two and a half. He’s still basically a teen.” He shrugged and the bratty tone made my spine stiffen. The urge to grab him and bend him over my knee for a spanking made my fingers twitch.
No, Fionn wasn’t mine to punish. Sex was sex, punishment was different. Spanking came with trust and intimacy that I wasn’t allowed to give him in that way.
“He’s an adult, boy.” My teeth ground together. “Your brothers don’t need you to take care of them anymore.”
“I’m the man of the house.”
I slammed my hand against the wall near his head, and he tilted his chin up, meeting my hard gaze with his own. We were so close our noses brushed, and Fionn’s breath tickled my lips.
“You’re not in their house. Your mother gave you to Sloan because you were grieving, and she couldn’t handle it. She should’ve supported you and grieved with you, but instead she was too busy spending the money Eoin put away for you and your education. Sloan became your guardian.” I lowered my voice when he shuddered. My stare dipped to his lips, wet from his tongue, and fire burned in my belly. I was so close to him—I could smell my spicy cologne he’d used this morning—yet I was so far because kissing him in public was off-limits. I didn’t deserve that right after everything I’d put him through. Fionn was too precious. “Your brothers got to go to college. You didn’t.”
“I could’ve,” he argued, eyes narrowing. He pressed a hand to my chest, but he didn’t push me away, just kept it there as though wanting to feel my heartbeat. “Sloan gave me a choice. He might be a hard man, but he was never outright cruel. He let me choose what I wanted to do with my life, and I decided to be his apprentice. I don’t regret my choice.”
I dropped my head and let out a sigh. Fionn was missing the point, and it was a reminder of how young he was and how different from Sloan he was. Fionn’s innocence was complex and confusing. He’d seen men die and he’d watched as Sloan tore men’s organs from their bodies, yet he missed his mother’s manipulation. He was too pure for this world, and all I wanted to do was wrap him in a blanket and hide him away from everyone, including Sloan.
I straightened and stepped back, not missing the disappointment that flashed in his gaze. I shoved the hand not holding his phone into my pants pocket because then I couldn’t reach out and touch Fionn’s soft cheek, or worse, grab his face and kiss him hard.
“You don’t know your mom.” I tested the words in my mind first, but everything I came up with sounded vicious toward Annabelle . She’s a bitch who uses men or she pressured your father to stay in the mob, when he wanted to walk away and be a family man. I didn’t know how Fionn would react to my assessment. I thought about something gentler to say.
“You never got to know her because Sloan raised you.” I shrugged. “You never spent time with her or your brothers, so I’m telling you this because I care about you. Giving her money won’t help. It’s not for Diarmuid or Bellamy, it’s for her .”
Annabelle was manipulative, and even Eoin fell for her lies.
“I know, okay?” The harshness of his tone made me rear back in shock. He glared at me and huffed, grabbing a handful of his dark hair and tugging in frustration. “Fuck. You all think I’m some dumb kid. I’m not. Not anymore. I know what she’s doing, but she’s my mom .” His steam dissipated and his shoulders slouched. His sad eyes dug a hole in my chest. “She’s my mom.” His voice came out so quiet that I barely heard what he said. “Deer and Bell are my brothers. I can’t lose them, even if I only talk to Mom when she’s looking for money. Even if she doesn’t want me in their lives.”
I didn’t know what to say, and the longer I stared at Fionn, the more I noticed the fight in his eyes. This was a man who wasn’t as innocent as I wanted to believe, but a grown-ass adult who’d struggled in ways that neither me or Sloan knew about. He was fighting battles that we were oblivious to, and that knowledge made me see him in a new light.
“Fionn . . . . Fuck.” I rubbed my face. “I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t.” He chuckled unhappily and pointed at himself with his thumb. “Because I can hide things, too. You and Sloan aren’t the only ones who can keep things quiet.”
“Keep—”
“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You won’t tell me what happened to Dad, how he really died.” He stared up at me and snorted when I stayed silent. “If you’re allowed to be secretive, I can, too.”
“We’re not doing it to be cruel, boy.” I stepped forward, closing the distance between us again. I cupped his cheek, uncaring of the consequences. Fionn’s eyelashes fluttered shut and the heat of his skin against my palm was addicting. I should’ve backed away as fast as I could, but I stayed there so I could whisper. “Your father never wanted you in this life. He told Sloan that he wanted you and your brothers to be free of the Company, and Sloan accepted that, agreed to it. Eoin was going to leave soon, too, but then....”
His eyes flashed open. “Then, what?” He grasped my wrist tightly, fingers brushing over my pulse point. We were too close, and yet I couldn’t move away. Tension sizzled between us, and the rest of the world vanished. In this moment, there was only us and the way we got lost in each other’s gazes. “What happened, Daire? Please tell me.”
I couldn’t. No son deserved to hear how his father was killed, especially not in the way Eoin was.
Bang!
I shot around, reaching into my suit jacket for my gun and my back against Fionn’s chest. He grabbed my suit jacket, holding on tightly as I pressed him against the wall. My heart pounded, adrenaline pumping in my veins, but the urge to protect him wasn’t needed.
The noise came from a car. A damned backfiring car that looked ancient enough to not be allowed on the road!
I cursed inwardly and spun around again, removing my hand from my jacket. Fionn watched me, those eyes sparkling with an emotion that I didn’t want to analyze or think about. I distanced myself and offered him a small nod.
“You were going to?—”
I ignored him, stalking back into the hospital. I stopped at the door and glanced toward him. “Come on. Bohdan will show you around and give you a rundown on how it works.”
Some of the spark in his posture disappeared and his jaw tightened. The iciness returning to his handsome face was like a knife to my heart, but I didn’t dare reach out to touch his shoulder like I wanted to as he strode past. He stopped beside me and ripped his phone from my hand.
“This is mine. If you take something that belongs to me again, I’ll make you regret it.” The coldness in his tone made me stiffen, but I merely inclined my chin in acknowledgment.
I wanted to make a boss out of Fionn, and this was a step in that direction, but whether it was on the right or wrong track, I didn’t know.