Chapter Twenty-Two
Christian
I t’s finally a perfect day for riding after nearly three days full of rain. When Cai texted the group chat last night and asked who wanted to go for an early morning ride to catch the sunrise, I was more than ready hop on my bike and head out. I thought about asking Roxy to join me but decided to let her sleep in instead. Saturdays are her only full day with Axel, and I don’t want to infringe on their relationship any more than I already have. And since I’ve neglected my social media page to tend to all the things that go along with being a newly married man, I figure it’s a good time to film some content. Besides, it might do me some good to clear my head. Away from the woman who brings about so many conflicted feelings.
The group and I round a winding curve in the road, and I lean into it, loving the freedom of the moment. It feels good to be back on my fastest bike again, the teal one my followers favor. When the road flattens out and we form a staggered line once more, I ease back and make a heart symbol with my gloved hands, taking care to stay in the frame of my phone. I’m already thinking over the quote I’ll use to go with this cut.
“Aw, was that heart for me or your followers?” Thor asks, sending a ripple of laughter from the others through our mics.
“I’m gonna guess it was for Roxy.” There’s an unmistakable insinuation in Chantelle’s tone.
“I should hope so,” Cai says. “He’s a married man now. Those women in your comment section better chill the heck out.”
“How’s married life going, by the way?” Des asks.
I take a minute to think about how to respond. The past two weeks have been some of the strangest and most enjoyable of my life. I wake early every morning, as usual, but it’s never long before Roxy’s up and wandering into the kitchen, dark hair a tangled mess, eyes sleepy.
We exchange brief pleasantries while I make chamomile tea and she brews a pot of coffee. She usually offers to make us breakfast, and I always turn her down. She seems relieved when I do, which makes me wonder if maybe she’s not confident in her cooking ability. Someday I’ll have to take her up on it just to see.
And then after that we just stand in the kitchen and...be. Silent. But comfortably together. Until Axel wakes, and then she’s urging him to get ready for school. My favorite part of the morning is dropping Axel off, then riding to work together. I usually grab us a quick breakfast, and we chat about the day’s plans like we really are a couple.
The first few days of living together were admittedly awkward, but now? I look forward to the simple routine. It’s surprising how easily she and Axel have fit into my life, almost as if they’ve always been there.
It’s that thought that helps me finally find the words to respond honestly. “It’s going really well, for the most part. Her nephew still isn’t sure of me, but...I guess that’s to be expected after all he’s gone through.”
Axel hasn’t given me much more than one-word responses, but It’s clear he could use a positive influence from someone in addition to Roxy. Not that hers isn’t enough—she’s amazing and more than patient with him. But I know what it was like to be a teenage boy who craved an invested man to guide him. Someone to show him how to be successful, to work hard, and to be strong. Someone who cares about his hobbies and interests. If Grandfather wouldn’t have stepped in when Dad became absent, there’s no telling where I’d be today. And the trouble Axel’s gotten into recently is evidence that he’s not coping well. Maybe I could be a helpful friend to him—someone to take his mind off his losses for a while. He and Roxy could both use that, I’d wager.
“Are you ever gonna tell us the full story with her?” Thor asks, all his earlier playfulness gone as he rides up beside me.
“What’s more to tell?” I say, speeding up to take the next curve.
Once we’re side to side again, Thor gestures toward me with one hand. “Chris, you’ve never expressed an interest in getting married before. What changed?”
Holt clears his throat, likely trying to save me from an inquisition. “Hey, you guys want breakfast? I’m starving.”
“Oh, yes!” Chantelle pipes in. “I vote for breakfast.”
Caius zooms ahead of us, pointing down the road. “We could stop at that little diner up on the left if you guys want.”
Once we’ve all murmured our agreements and find the place Cai suggested, we park and remove our gear. Just as we’re about to step through the fifties-style diner's front door, Thor grips my forearm.
“Hey,” he says, his gaze boring into mine. “You never answered my question earlier.”
I want to pretend like I don’t remember what he asked, but it’s futile to play dumb. He’s too observant, too persistent.
“Can’t a guy change his mind when he finds the right woman?”
Thor’s eyes narrow. “A guy can. But you...you’re not impulsive, Chris. You’re meticulous. A planner. You make lists and spreadsheets and organize your life until there’s very little room for spontaneity.”
When I bristle, he holds his hands up in front of him. “I’m not saying any of that’s bad; it’s just who you are. You’ve planned out just about everything in your life, so to see this girl turn it upside down so quickly is...well, kind of alarming.”
I look past him and into the restaurant to see Holt watching us from just inside the door. He shrugs like he tried his best to throw Thor off the hunt. Obviously, it didn’t work.
“Look,” Thor tries again, softening his tone. “I care about you. We, your friends , care about you. And we will support you no matter what, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried that this girl is taking you for a ride.”
When I burst out laughing, he huffs, “Dude, I meant figuratively.”
“I know, I know.” I rub my hands down my face and reel in my hysteria. “Thor, I have to give you credit. You’re a great friend. And an even better watchdog.” He raises one eyebrow, a smile spreading across his face. “And... you’re right. It’s not like me to be impulsive or get married on a whim.”
I take another look at the restaurant and sigh. If I’m going to tell him the truth, I might as well confess to the rest of them. Thor’s right—they are my friends. And they do care about my well-being. I should’ve trusted them with the truth to begin with. Hopefully Roxy will understand when I explain it to her later.
Thor leans into my line of sight and whistles. “Earth to Christian. You going to finish that thought, or...?”
Guess I’ll have to cross that bridge with Roxy when we get to it.
“Yeah,” I say, clapping him on the shoulder. “Let’s sit down to eat and I’ll tell you guys everything.”
It wasn’t easy to explain to my friends that I’d condensed marriage down to something as meaningless as a contractual agreement. In fact, some of the looks they gave me had me feeling like my dad. I realize I’m not living out my ideals here. What would Roxy call that…cognitive dissonance, maybe? Anyway, I understood their mixed reactions.
But what I really wasn’t prepared for was the question Des asked after everyone gave their input.
“So now that you’re married...do you have feelings for her?”
Everyone around the table seemed to wait with bated breath for me to respond. I didn’t know what to say in the moment other than, “It’s only been two weeks. And I’ve known her less than four.”
It was a flimsy retort, an indirect answer at best, but how can I tell them the truth?
That I do have feelings for a woman I just recently met? That they’re somehow deeper than anything I’ve felt for a woman before. And living with her, being married to her, only makes me wish it would stick. For as long as we both should live.
But I couldn’t say any of that because I know how crazy it sounds. So I left and drove home without any greater sense of clarity where she’s concerned.
I park my bike in the bay garage with the others, remove my helmet, and run a hand through my hair. Roxy has me questioning everything I thought I knew about myself. My goals and dreams are morphing into a kaleidoscope of color I wasn’t at all prepared for. But if I want to make it real with her, I’ve got to win Axel over. And truthfully, I want to. Not out of duty to her, but because despite what he may think, he’s a good kid with a lot of promise. I see it in the way he cares for her, even when he’s upset. In the way he’s trying to walk the straight and narrow just to get to stay with her. He’s not perfect; no kid is. But his heart feels more than he lets on. That kind of potential shouldn’t go to waste.
As I step back from my line of motorcycles, a thought forms. I used to bond the most with Grandfather when we’d go fishing. He enjoyed it as a hobby, and I grew to appreciate it simply because we spent time together and got to talk. Maybe bikes could bring Axel and me together like that? Might just be worth a try.
Laughter greets me when I walk in the front door, bringing a smile to my face. “Not fair!” Roxy squeals. “You cheater!”
I drop my keys in the bowl on the entryway table and remove my leather jacket just as Axel lets out a deep laugh. “I did not cheat. You’re just mad that you have to go back to start.”
I step far enough into the living room to see Roxy and Axel sitting at the dining room table. She points at him with mock outrage. “Hey! I’m your aunt. It’s wrong to disrespect your elders like that.”
“Psh.” Axel picks up another card off the game board, ignoring her warning. “You’re always the sorriest loser, you know that?”
Roxy opens her mouth to say something, but it dies on her tongue when she sees me. “Oh, hey.” Her smile brightens. “You were gone awfully early this morning.” A tinge of pink colors her cheeks, and I can’t help but wonder why. Because she noticed I left early? Or is it possible she enjoys our morning routine as much as I do and she missed me?
“I, uh, went for a ride with the guys.” I wince. “And Chantelle. Sorry, I’m just used to thinking of them like the guys.”
Roxy grins. “I doubt she’d take offense to that. I’m surprised you guys went out so early, though.”
I move further into the room, eyeing their game with interest. “Sometimes we like to watch the sun come up. Nothing like a sunrise drive when the weather’s nice.”
Something like disappointment flashes in her eyes, but it’s gone as soon as it appears. “Sounds nice.”
“I would’ve asked you to go, but I knew you had plans with Axel—”
“Chris, you’re fine.” She waves me off. “You don’t have to tell me where you’re going or anything.”
I nod but don’t miss the note of hurt in her voice. She would’ve wanted to go. I’m an idiot for not making it happen.
I make a mental note to take Roxy to see the sunrise soon, then grip the back of the chair next to Axel. “Hey, you busy this morning?” When he looks up at me with one eyebrow cocked in annoyance, like h ow dare you speak to me , I add, “After the game, I mean.”
He turns his attention to Roxy, who gives him a pleading look. “No.” He sighs so deep it’s almost comical. “Why?”
“I wondered if you’d like to see some of my bikes. I’ve got to change the oil in the one I rode today and hoped you might be able to help me.”
Again, he raises that pierced eyebrow. “Don’t you take them to get the oil changed? You’re like, loaded.”
“Really?” Roxy glares at her nephew while I chuckle.
“I like to work on my bikes myself. It’s an enjoyable hobby.”
His brows lower as he seems to think this over. “Can you teach me how to ride?”
Hope blossoms inside me faster than I care to admit. “If your aunt says it’s okay.”
Roxy’s perfect teeth sink into her lower lip. “Is it...safe?”
“I’ll teach him how to be safe.”
Her green eyes hold some of the hope I feel. “I think it’d be great. If you’re not too busy.”
“Not at all.” I step back. “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll go.”
He turns back toward his aunt, pointing to their game. “Can we get a rain check on this?”
She smiles. “Sure. I was beating you anyway.”
Axel rolls his eyes and hops up from the table. “Keep telling yourself that, Rox.” He heads down the hall, calling over his shoulder, “Let me change and I’ll be ready.”
“Take your time.”
Roxy begins to clean up the game and I help, wanting to steal a few moments with her before I leave again. “Thank you for letting me spend time with him.”
Her teeth clamp on to that tempting lower lip again as she grabs the box and meets my gaze. “You’re welcome to whenever he’s agreeable. But please don’t forget what we talked about.”
It takes my brain a second to catch up. “You mean number four?” Don’t make Axel any promises.
She dips her chin in a quick nod. “I just don’t want him to be hurt when all this is said and done. I want you guys to get along, be friends even, but not at his expense.”
Hurt and disappointment strike through me. I know she wants to protect him. But doesn’t she know by now that I would never intentionally disappoint him or her?
“Roxy,” I say, moving around the table to stand before her. “I won’t hurt him.” I beg her to see the truth in my eyes—that I’m not just talking about her nephew.
“You’re a good guy, Chris.” Her gaze falls to the game box in her hands. “The best. But so was Eddy. He didn’t mean to leave and yet—” She swallows, tears glistening in her eyes.
“Hey.” I take the box from her, set it on the table, then cradle her face in my palms. When she doesn’t immediately meet my eyes, I gently say, “Roxy, look at me.” Dark lashes flutter over stormy eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She licks her lips, blinking once. Twice. “You say that, but—”
“I am not going anywhere,” I repeat. My attention bounces back and forth between her eyes. “You and Axel are safe with me.”
A shuddery breath leaves her, and she nods. I release her, instantly missing the feel of her soft skin under my calloused hands.
“Do you want to come with us?”
Her brow furrows. “With you?”
“To the bay. To check out the bikes.” I know she enjoys riding motorcycles. Maybe she’d enjoy learning about them too. And it might give her peace of mind to watch Axel get acquainted with riding one.
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not. I love to spend time with you.”
Her mouth pops open at my admission. Almost like she wants to say something similar back but won’t let herself. “Um. Thanks.”
Axel charges into the room, a bit breathless. “Ready.”
I turn to him and smile. “All right. Let’s go.”