The Billionaire Mismatch (Unintentionally Yours #19)

Prologue

Olivia

Everyone is looking for the love of their life.

But have you ever heard the phrase looking for love in all the wrong places?

Well, I have a theory about that.

It's an unpopular opinion in today’s fast-paced, tech-driven, love-connection world:

Online dating sucks.

I believe that with my whole heart.

So much so that I, along with my colleague Kiersten, host a whole podcast about it.

Now, before you laugh, or turn the station, as I would say to my listeners, check the stats.

Our podcast has over fifty thousand listeners per episode, and that’s on the low end.

That tells you one thing: people are tired of swiping left on the endless search for Mr. or Mrs. Right.

And that is where I come in.

“Happy Friday, everyone,” I say into the microphone. “If you’re new around here, this is Olivia Monroe.”

“And Kiersten K,” she chimes in on her mic while smiling at me across the table.

“And you are listening to ‘Unmatched’, the only podcast that is anti-dating app.” I grin into the mic.

“You heard me right. We are one hundred and fifty percent opposed to online dating in all its forms. We believe that if you listen to our reasoning, you’ll be deleting those apps faster than you deleted your ex’s phone number. ”

And as I look at my notes for the day (yes, I use notes. The best lines are never improv-ed, even as an English and communications major) and stir my iced macchiato, there is no place I’d rather be.

I love my job.

Sitting across from Kiersten, it’s like we are having an intimate friend to friend conversation.

Except that it ultimately gets broadcast to thousands of listeners.

“Now I know what you’re thinking,” I go on.

“Meeting people in the real world is hard. You don’t know who’s single, who’s at the bar looking for love, and who just wants to hook up.

Then there’s the compatibility factor. Does the girl you just bought a twenty-dollar Cosmo for really like hiking, or does she just like free cocktails? ”

Kiersten cuts in, “You could avoid all this misconnection if you could just see some stats about the person first. Maybe their age, their hobbies, what they’re looking for, etc…”

“Yep,” I agree. “But lucky for you, Kiersten and I are here to debunk the myth that digital dating beats old-fashioned organic encounters. Think we’re wrong? Well, let’s do an experiment. A little survey, if you will.”

I grin before going on with my usual pitch.

“How many of you have heard the words, swipe right? Swipe left? You have a match. Ghosting. Breadcrumbing. Love bombing. Situationship. Red flag, green flag, beige flag.”

“The point is,” Kiersten chimes in. “Dating is hard enough without having to survive an algorithm. Believe it or not, it should be fun. Exciting. Enjoyable. The last thing it should feel like is being stuck in a never-ending customer service queue, bad elevator music included. I don’t know about you guys, but if I wanted that, I’d go to the DMV on the last Friday of the month. ”

I laugh out loud. “Organic dating may seem intimidating, but it has its perks. Reaching for the same copy of the latest Colleen Hoover novel at your favorite bookstore. Locking eyes with someone at a concert when the best part of the song plays. Seeing someone’s eye color and smile and flaws and quirks in-person instead of through filters and angle shots.

Because honestly, I don’t think we actually want access to thousands of people to choose from. ”

I let out a sign. “We want one person. The person we met in the right place at the right time because serendipity exists.”

“And that’s what we are here for,” Kiersten concludes. “To guide people down the confusing, crowded, yet ironically lonely road that is finding your person. No monthly subscription or acronyms required.”