The Bloke (Men Under Revue #1)

6. Sienna

Chapter 6

Sienna

Breathe.

In and out.

Breathe.

Relax, release.

Breathe.

“—Sienna Carter.” A wispy voice came from over the PA system, and I glided onto center stage, setting myself up in my starting position before the admission board. The lights were hot, scorching my skin as I stood beneath them, sweat already beading on my brow. I was sweating before, but now it was being exaggerated by the lights.

My pointe shoes squeezed my feet. I had been in them all morning practicing before my audition, not taking them off for even a second.

“This is your…” The man paused. “Third time auditioning for us, is that right?”

“Y—yes.” I stammered out of nervousness.

“Very well. Please proceed.” I could hear the boredom and disdain in his voice.

They had already decided my fate before I even stepped onto this stage. Two failed attempts, and now a third? They wouldn’t give me the shot I needed, but here I was, trying regardless of the failure that dripped from his words. Proceed . It was as if this was just another boring presentation for them to push through for the day.

This is what I get for being born to parents who have unrealistic expectations for their children. I was a people-pleaser. I did what I was told to do to make those around me happy, disregarding my feelings for theirs.

My childhood was filled with dance classes, overpriced personal trainers, instructors, and nutritionists. My parents invested every single penny they could into a career I never chose. It was no wonder I continued to fail my auditions. The passion isn’t mine; it was theirs—hers.

One last try, one last failure, and I would run away from this place. From New York. I didn’t belong here; I never did. I grew up without my own dreams and identity. I was always ‘Sweet Sienna Carter,’ the straight-A student and dancer. But was I really?

For twenty-one years, I’ve lived a life that wasn’t mine, at least not one I wanted, and if I succeed with this audition and secure my spot at Aurelia, will I ever get the chance?

Aurelia is the most prestigious dance school on the East Coast. My mother graduated with high honors and a list of companies that practically begged her to dance for them. I was her daughter, the legacy that is now a failure in her eyes—a disgrace to the family name.

A version of “Love Me Like You Do,” curated by Nate Fifield, started to fill the auditorium, wrapping around my senses like a blanket and threatening to suffocate me.

The tune numbed me from the inside out as I closed my eyes and fell into the melody, which carried me away into yet another routine of expectations and disappointment.

I hate this life…

I woke up to the rumbling sound of my phone vibrating on the hardwood floor of my bedroom. After the audition, I returned home and collapsed onto my bed face first without changing into something more comfortable. I was exhausted, and my body could no longer handle the heavy stress that it carried.

Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I tilted my head to the window above my bed to see that it was now night. My audition was at nine this morning, and I got home shortly after eleven. I slept the entire day away. Not surprising, in the least.

With a groan, I rolled onto my back and reached over the edge of the bed to pick up my phone from where it had landed. Holding the screen above my face, the screen was lit with the name Lillian . Answering the call, I placed it on speaker before dropping it into the sheets beside my head.

“Lily.” I greeted.

“How’d it go, girl?” Her lively voice beamed through the phone.

I could hear music and voices in the background. She must be at a house party already or hosting her own.

“As it always goes.” I sighed heavily. “What time is it?” My voice cracked with sleep.

“It’s nearly midnight. Did you just wake up?” Lily laughed. “When will you know?”

“Same as last time… by the end of the week.” I audibly yawned, stretching my arms out above my head.

Lily was my closest friend in New York—a complete party animal with absolutely no regard for anyone but herself. She was the opposite of me, and everything I wanted to be. Free.

Lily and I met at my first Aurelia audition. We both were denied acceptance on our first try, which became the common ground on which our friendship blossomed. We trained together the following year, hoping to gain acceptance on our second try.

Unlike me, it was her dream to attend Aurelia, not her parents, and when she wasn’t accepted after our second audition, she decided to quit altogether and enjoy life.

I was envious of her ability to choose. It was a luxury I didn’t have, but soon I would, depending on what phone call I received within this next week of waiting. At least she understood how I was feeling right now, having gone through it twice before.

“In that case, get your ass over here, and let’s drink your anxiety away.” Lily cheered.

I could see her throwing both hands in the air as she squealed. I’ve spent this past year training so hard that I almost forgot how it felt to be carefree and happy like her—becoming a zombie to the machine of dance that owned me.

I breathed a heavy sigh, running my hands up and down my face.

“Can’t tonight, maybe tomorrow. I need more sleep. I’m burnt like toast.”

“Boo!—Fine, but I’m keeping you to that!” She giggled, and I could hear her smile through the phone. “Talk later, girl, take it easy, alright?” Concern laced in her words.

“Yeah… night, Lily. Be careful.”

“Always.”

After hanging up the phone, I peeled myself off the bed and changed into hot pink sweatpants and a black cropped T-shirt. I descended the stairs of my parent’s house and went to the kitchen, digging into the freezer for the bag of frozen fried chicken and french fries.

With the high intensity of my weekly training schedule, I didn’t have much time to work, so I still lived with my parents, a blessing and a curse. While I was thankful that I didn’t have bills to pay and a fully stocked fridge, I hated that they could monitor me twenty-four-seven. Again, the freedom Lily had, that I didn’t.

I popped three breaded chicken strips and a handful of fries into the air fryer, set it for fifteen minutes, and then plopped down onto one of the bar stools, flipping through social media on my phone.

Lily’s Instagram account was already flooding my feed with photos of the party she was at. A smile pulled across my lips as I scrolled through her pictures and the fun she was having—slightly jealous that I couldn’t have accepted her invitation.

The only thing stopping me was the complete exhaustion that wrecked my body. My parents were out of town for the week on an anniversary vacation, so they weren’t around to stop me from having a little bit of fun while I waited for my phone call. I could use the distraction, just like Lily suggested.

A ding came from across the kitchen, and I moved to remove my late-night dinner from the air fryer. Dumping the contents of the fry basket onto a plate, I sat back down at the kitchen counter and began reviewing the new dance routine that my trainer had just sent me.

I was so over this… all of it.

I haven't heard anything for three days since my audition for Aurelia. There wasn’t even a rumor from other dancers I know who auditioned with me—just radio silence from the admissions council.

“I wouldn’t sweat it. It may very well be that they are saving the acceptance calls for later, you know, get all the ‘I’m sorry, try again next year’ calls out of the way first.” Lily reassured me over the phone.

I have my Bluetooth earbuds in while stretching for today's training session. My parents booked me a two-hour slot at the studio this morning as a way to kick my ass out of the house.

“I hope you’re right because if I get denied again, I don’t know how I will tell my parents… what I will tell them.” I sighed, resting my leg on the ballet bar to stretch my hamstring.

“You tell them the truth, and you live with it. What’s the worst they could do?”

That was the one problem with Lily; while she understood the stress of the audition, she didn’t understand my parents, my whole reason for even attempting a third time.

“Uh—Kick me out and disown me for one?” I growled out, switching my legs on the bar. “I have no job, no career path. I am a sunken ship, and I’ll drown before I even reach shore.” Since when did I become so metaphorical… I really needed to get more sleep.

“So? Move in with me. We can figure it all out together.” She hummed in thought. “You know, I think I can even pull a few strings to get you a job at Frisky’s as a waitress.”

Oh, that was precisely what I needed to go from a company-worthy ballet dancer to a stripper waitress. Wonderful. Not that I was even worthy of a company by Aurelia’s standards.

“I’ll… think about it. Thanks, Lily. Talk to you later.” I hung up on her before hitting play on my routine playlist for warm-up, starting with my grande pliés and single-leg relevés on the bar.

Twenty minutes into my warm-up, my phone begins to ring, interrupting my music and warm-up. My gut clenches as I tap the side of my earbud to answer.

Please don’t be Aurelia; please don’t be Aurelia…

“H—hello?” I hesitated.

“Good afternoon, Miss Carter. This is Arietta Scarlet from the Aurelia Admissions Council. Do you have a moment to speak?” Her tone was bored as if this call was just one of many that she had made today, all ending with the same result. Disappointment.

“Y—yes. I am free to speak.” I breathed, sinking to my knee on the freshly polished floor.

“Your file shows that you have auditioned three times for our Academy.”

“Yes.” I quickly answered.

“That wasn’t a question.” Bitch . “Tell me, why did you audition a third time?” Oh no...

What answer do I give her? The truth? A lie? Does this answer impact my acceptance status?

“I—umm…” I couldn’t breathe. I felt like all the air had been squeezed out of my lungs. What the hell do I say? “My mother. She was a prestigious ballet dancer when she was my age and wanted the same for me—she graduated with honors from Aurelia. I wanted to follow in her footsteps. Aspire to dance in her footsteps.” A half-truth. I didn’t give two shits about her previous dance career.

“A yes… Evaline Carter. She was a magnificent dancer.” Arietta paused. “I don’t know how to say this so I will be blunt. At this time, we do not have a slot available for you at our school.”

“But I—” I felt as though my leotard was tightening against my skin, suffocating me and squeezing the life out of me as she continued, not even pausing as I attempted to cut her off.

“You are more than welcome to audition a fourth time next year, but if I may be honest with you, Sienna .” Dropping the formalities, I see… “Perhaps this isn’t the right path for you. While you are a wonderful dancer—there is no denying that—you aren’t exactly what Aurelia is searching—”

Click .

I ended the call just as abruptly as she’d ended my life.

I didn’t need to hear the end of her speech; I didn’t want to.

I was done.