Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
W illow
Sun.
Beach.
Sex.
The combination would be considered perfect if we were really on vacation. But we weren’t.
The lingering ghosts from what was really going on remained like a poisonous fog.
I swam closer to the pool’s edge as he walked outside, lifting my sunglasses so I could get a better look. A sigh naturally pushed past my lips. Dimitrios had a way of doing that to me, the night’s festivities more passionate than I’d believed could exist. He was even wearing shorts, attire I hadn’t thought he owned.
And leather boat shoes.
He was an entirely different version of himself. I think I liked this one better. He seemed real, a man with needs yet willing to laugh at himself. Maybe I was just envisioning Prince Charming all over again.
“Howdy, stranger. You’ve been busy.” He’d left me alone for over an hour, checking emails and constantly fretting over our plan. While we hadn’t gone over it in detail, it involved our engagement and making a convincing phone call to my brother. My part was weighing heavily on my mind.
“I’m sorry about that. Unfortunately, I still need to make a couple phone calls,” Dimitrios said as soon as he crouched down by the pool. “After that our afternoon and evening will be free. You need to decide if you want dinner here or out.”
“Are you cooking? I can’t.” I laughed, but he didn’t. His mind was elsewhere.
“Whatever you want.”
“Business?” I pushed away from the wall, the drink still in my hand, a delicious combination of fruit juices that I adored.
“Let’s just say there are some additional concerns. Nothing to worry about, but I like to keep on top of the world my great-grandfather created.”
He’d told me a few details about his life and work, most of which seemed like what any other legitimate businessman would be involved in. His shadier work he wasn’t so inclined to share with me, but I had a sense his hot nightclubs helped him launder money. Athena had mentioned his family was involved in weapons and extortion, but so far, I’d yet to overhear anything that would lead me to believe that. Maybe I wanted to see the best side of him. However, I’d come to terms with his darker side, both professionally and sexually.
As crazy as it sounded, I liked his domination of me. It left me with tingles all over.
“Is everything okay?” I asked. Yes, I was searching for additional information. I was no fool. Neither was my brother. He’d know if I was lying. Being informed would help with the ruse. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. The ache inside from the need would leave a permanent scar.
“It will be, little dove. Enjoy yourself and I’ll be back before you know it.”
Did his tone sound terser?
“Maybe I’ll take a walk.”
“Just don’t leave the grounds.” He pointed a finger down at me, shaking it as if I was already a very bad girl.
“No, sir.”
I swam closer as he stood, splashing water on him. He gave me his typical commanding and chastising look before walking away.
After taking a sip of my drink, I kicked out my legs. I hated not being with him. I wasn’t good being alone, even though that’s what had been a huge part of my life.
With my drink on the poolside, I swam a few laps but quickly grew bored. Even taking another sip of my drink didn’t have the same appeal.
After a few minutes, I headed for the stairs. How could I already be bored with such a fabulous place after only a day and a half?
I grabbed a towel, placing my drink on one of the eight tables. The outside area was large enough to hold a huge party.
Or a reception.
Was I a fool to allow myself to think about a wedding that shouldn’t occur? Why not enjoy what I could when I could? That was the motto I’d adopted.
I headed for the outdoor kitchen, leaning my back against the counter and scanning the back of the house. There were so many windows and balconies that it was crazy. Every single guest could enjoy the incredible outdoors very privately.
Out of the corner of my eye, the two-story detached garage caught my eye as it had upon our arrival. Why was the room upstairs off limits? I’d broached the subject a second time only to be completely shut down. What was he hiding and why did it feel as if the secret would be the reason our closeness was short lived?
I’d always been the kind of girl who needed answers. Being stonewalled by anyone from my parents to teachers had become unacceptable. What made this any different? I bit my lower lip and glanced back at the house. One peek wasn’t going to hurt. Was it?
Besides, he’d disappeared for almost two hours the night before. I’d gone to check on him and he hadn’t been inside the house or by the pool and I seriously doubted he was walking on the beach alone. He didn’t seem like that kind of man. That left only one place he would go.
I walked quickly to the gate, taking another look before scampering down the pathway. The building was nearly as beautiful as the house, arched windows covering the two sides I could see from the way I was walking.
As I approached the building, I second guessed my decision, but the need to know what he was hiding outweighed all common sense. I wasn’t surprised to find the side door leading into the garage unlocked. I closed it behind me, immediately walking up the set of stairs leading to the room.
It was also unlocked, but I remained on the outside for a few seconds. Did I feel guilt for invading his space? A little, but not enough to stop me. I finally turned the handle, holding my breath as I walked inside.
There was nothing that would indicate something tragic had occurred. The only indication the place meant something to him was that the appearance was exactly like what I remembered from so many years before. As if time had stopped. No one had altered the dance studio in any way that I could see.
There was a series of floor-to-nearly-ceiling mirrors positioned the entire length of the back wall, two others on the sides. A series of ballet barres was attached, the wooden floor smooth throughout the room. On the left side there was a bookshelf, a music system located on two shelves. I noticed several small speakers in the four corners of the room. The system was older and I wondered if it still worked.
The quiet inside the room kept my anxiety high. My mind was working overtime wondering who she was. I’d never heard about a sister, but that didn’t mean I knew everything about the family.
But it felt even more personal with him, a girl who’d been very important in his life. Something else caught my eye on the bookshelf and I walked in that direction. For some crazy reason, I was taking my time doing so. Being here felt more awkward than I’d thought it would. While I wanted to find out what he was hiding, I couldn’t stand feeling as if I was disobeying him.
When had that started?
I brushed my hand through my hair as a photograph in a frame came into view. Closing the distance was tougher, my feet not wanting to cooperate, but I managed. The girl was beautiful, long dark hair pinned in a tight bun. She had a smile on her face that said she knew the camera was catching her every move. In a ballet position, her dark peach leotard hugged every inch of her slight body. It felt as if the area was a shrine, the memories too painful for him to keep a photograph out in the open.
The girl appeared tiny in comparison to me, elegant in a way I’d never thought of myself as being. I lifted the frame into my hand, admiring her expression of happiness. Why did I know in my heart the photograph had been taken by Dimitrios?
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” His deep voice was more of a bellow, the sound echoing in the empty room.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I spun around, almost dropping the picture. I’d never seen such an expression of anger on his face. As he stormed closer, a hint of fear tore through me. He ripped the photograph from my hand, his entire face contorted, his jaw clenching hard. The moment he darted a quick look at the girl, I could feel his pain ebbing through his clothes.
“I’m sorry. I just…” How was I going to explain this?
“You just what? What? I told you specifically you couldn’t enter this room. Didn’t I?” His bark was worse, his face so close to mine I could feel his hot breath. “Didn’t I?”
“Yes. You did. Okay? I said I was sorry.”
“Too bad you don’t mean it. You’re digging into my life and I won’t tolerate it.”
My God. He was so angry I had no clue what to say to him, let alone how I’d calm him down.
“You won’t tell me why I can’t come in here. I wanted to know. You refuse to allow me to lie to you, but all you’ve done is deceive me since this started.”
He took a deep breath and I was certain he would explode. After closing his eyes briefly, he exhaled. The man was attempting to keep the control I sensed him losing around me.
“I gave you free rein of the house, but you do this. This!”
Now I was getting angry. “It’s just a room. A goddamn room!” As soon as I tried to skirt around him, he snapped his hand around my wrist, pulling me onto my toes.
“It’s not just a goddamn room, Willow.”
“Then tell me what it is. A shrine? To the girl? Someone you loved?”
Oh, that pissed him off, but I sensed sadness taking over. “Some things aren’t meant for people to know. They’re too painful.”
“Other than your brother, what pain have you suffered?” I threw back.
He glared at me, his jaw cocked.
“Seriously. What? You grew up with money and all kinds of pretty toys. You’re worth millions if not billions. You could have any woman you want by just snapping your fingers. Hell, you could be a model on some Paris magazine cover. You and your entire family have lived a charmed life.” I wasn’t usually so ugly, but he had the ability to push all my buttons as I did his.
Maybe we’d be better enemies.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Then tell me. Share with me. Dimitrios, please.”
“No.”
“Fine.”
When he jerked me even closer, I decided I wasn’t going to wait around to take the brunt of his anger. I managed to yank my hand free, tumbling toward the door. “Damn you, Dimitrios. You want me to marry you and even though it should be in name only, we crossed a line. I guess I was foolish enough to believe you actually cared about me.”
Before he had time to answer, I fled the room, racing down the stairs as fast as my legs would take me. As soon as I made it outside, I turned away from the house, heading toward the beach. I didn’t stop long enough to see if he was trailing after me.
“Do not run away from me!” he called out.
I ignored him and his command.
Tears burned my eyes and while I knew it was ridiculous to feel this way, I couldn’t stop them from sliding past my eyelashes. How could I feel so close to a man yet not know him at all?
I zigged and zagged my way toward the water, praying I could find some sense of solace because there wouldn’t be any answers. Somehow, I’d managed to keep the towel grasped tightly around me, but I was ready to pitch it away. The thick material was hindering my run.
As soon as I reached the beach, the ache I felt inside was too great. I rubbed my eyes, slowing down from being forced to double over.
He caught my arm and the shock of him doing so, being so close jolted me into squealing. “Let me go.” The towel slipped free, pooling around my ankles.
“I won’t.” He was calmer but the fury remained in his eyes. “I won’t allow you to do this.”
“I did nothing. It’s a room. A photograph. Why can’t you talk to me? Because you really don’t care at all. Do you?”
“That’s not true.” He pushed me back against a tree, keeping the hold while he slammed his hand on the bark over my head.
“Yes, it is. I’m a fool.”
“No, you’re not. Disobedient as hell, yes. Infuriating, you bet.”
“But you still won’t talk to me. You don’t care.”
“I do care. Can’t you see that?”
“No!”
“I don’t want to lose you. I can’t.” His voice was filled with anguish. “You’re the only goddamn woman I want. As far as all those pretty toys you’ve accused me of having. You’re right. I’ve been blessed in my life, Willow, but with every good thing there’s always a bad to counter it. Good versus evil.”
I had no idea what to say to him. I could see by the wild look in his eyes he was on some kind of precipice, ready to fall off the cliff. The moment I touched his face, he softened.
Then he crushed his mouth over mine. As angry as the man could make me, the need to feel him was too severe. I thrust my tongue past his lips, eager to taste him.
Dimitrios released his hold on me, which allowed me to wrap my arm around his neck. Being able to finger his thick hair sent a series of shivers through me. Our desire for each other knew no bounds. He was almost frantic, his kisses rough and demanding.
He rubbed his other hand down my side, the feel more possessive than ever. As he yanked at my bikini bottom, I moaned into the kiss. Our tongues were entwining, battling for domination. It was a fight I knew I wouldn’t win.
With my bikini now around my thighs, I kicked and shifted, yanking it down myself. He broke the moment of heat and fire for a few seconds so he could jerk the wet material the rest of the way off.
We both fumbled for his button and zipper. I reached inside, wrapping my fingers around his stiff cock. Another moan escaped, my heart racing from the longing that continued erupting.
He wasn’t in the mood for wasting time, taking control. As he thrust the entire length of his cock inside, I pulled my lips free. The sounds we were making were completely animalistic, pushing us both to some crazy breaking point.
My muscles came close to spasming as he pulled out, slamming into me again. He hoisted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his hips. As the brutal fucking continued, my breath was stolen, stars floating across my sea of vision.
“Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.” It was the only other sound I could make other than moaning. Every time we were together, a fantasy roared to the surface, but this was surreal. We couldn’t stop, both of us panting from exertion. He filled me completely, pushing all the right buttons.
His kiss began again, his wet and hot mouth keeping the fire burning. Every plunge was rougher than the one before and a sudden but explosive climax rushed through me.
My body shook, my pulse skyrocketing. The orgasm was the most powerful yet, driving me straight into the purest ecstasy. With three more savage pumps, he jerked his head away. I sensed he was ready to erupt deep inside of me.
The moment he did, he threw his head back, allowing an intense roar.
I felt free and so alive, the electric current startling in its power.
Nothing with him should be right yet it was. I could sense I was truly meant to be his.
As we both started to come down from the incredible high, he finally dropped his head, staring me in the eyes. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?” I asked, still breathless.
“You’re mine. I want you. No one can have you. It’s all I can think about. Being with you. Kissing you. Fucking you. You drive me crazy, little dove. Insane. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I cupped his face and lowered my legs. They were still shaking like the rest of me was. I couldn’t stand on my own if I tried. “I don’t know what this is, Dimitrios.”
“This is just the beginning, baby. There’s more to come.”
Including danger.
I even sensed it all around us now although nothing strange had occurred.
“But you need to start listening to me, heeding what I tell you that you can and can’t do.”
The question about the woman in the photograph was right on the tip of my tongue, but I stopped myself. He was no more likely to tell me the truth now than he was before. Even after our incredible moment of passion. “You like me bad. That’s how we reconnected.”
He smirked and the anger was once again gone from his gorgeous eyes. “You were afraid of me before.”
“No, I… Well, nervous.”
“As I said, you’re a very bad liar. I will never hurt you. If you can’t see that then this ends right here and now. I won’t have you terrified of me or what I might do. I’m not a great man, but I do have certain morals and beliefs. You’re too precious. Perfect.”
I was hardly perfect, but hearing his words was likely as close to any affirmation of love that I’d ever get. They were words I didn’t take for granted. “I don’t fear you. You don’t hurt me and I doubt you’ll ever allow anyone else to either.”
“Very astute, little dove. You’re correct. If any man lays a hand on you, he’ll lose that hand.” His grin was boyish, acting as if he was simply making a statement.
But I knew better. He would do worse than what he’d just told me.
I touched his chest as he pulled away. He was watching me with more intensity than before as he adjusted his shorts. Meanwhile, I was standing without my bikini bottoms. At least we were alone. “I guess I should get dressed.”
“No, you’re not going to do that.”
“Why?”
“Because I told you no.” He tugged me forward like he’d done before, only this time using my bikini top.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Ensuring you won’t disobey me again.” I hadn’t been completely ready for him to pick me up like he was carrying a huge sack of flour under his arm, but that’s what he did.
“What are you doing?”
“I think you know the answer by now.”
“You’re going to spank me?”
He huffed. “Good answer.”
I started pounding my fists against his leg. “No fair. That’s going to cause pain.”
“Entirely different.”
The gods were obviously in his favor because he found a fallen tree right there on the sand. As he’d done with our hot sex, he didn’t waste any time, easing onto the thick log as if we were just sitting down to dinner.
I wiggled, but he already had his arm firmly wrapped around me. When he brought his hand down a couple of times, I moaned appropriately. I swayed my hips, hoping I could entice him into returning to our former activity. He cracked his hand down two more times, then sighed deeply as only he could do.
“This just won’t do.”
“What do you mean?” I threw my head over my shoulder, watching in a mixture of horror and awe as he jerked off one of his shoes. I jumped the second he smacked the sole down on the decayed tree.
“This is perfect.”
“Oh, come on.” He wasn’t kidding. There was no anger in his actions, but the tension between us remained for a different reason. He was worried I’d be taken from him.
Even as he brought his damn shoe down several times, the pain didn’t register. I was floating on a cloud, reeling from what he’d told me. We barely knew each other as adults yet what was so wrong felt so right.
I closed my eyes, shifting back and forth, but I wasn’t fighting him.
The hard cracks sounded worse, but the thick sole created electric waves of discomfort. He was methodical, covering every inch in a strange rhythm that lulled me into myriad feelings and sensations.
Including my pussy continuing to throb. Every inch of my body felt sensitive, vibrations jolting every nerve ending.
With every snap of his hand, every connection, I was pulled into a strange lull of peace.
“Five more.” His words seemed to come from the sky.
As he issued them my heart responded to the rhythm with precision, and I heard a moan escape from my mouth.
Dimitrios was thorough, but when he slowed down, I sensed his mood changing all over again. He dropped his shoe before gently easing me to a standing position. Everything about him seemed entirely different, not shut down but close.
“Enough,” he murmured. I sensed another moment of sadness in the dark memories as he studied the ocean.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I asked.
“I can’t begin to say the words at this point. But I can tell you that you’re wrong about my family. We’ve suffered tremendously over the years. More than our share, but that’s the world we were all born into. I don’t think it’s the best world for you. At least not for eternity.”
So we were back to his proclamation of our deal with just that, something we’d concocted that would last for a short timeframe. I had no idea what to say to him about anything any longer.
“Do me a favor, Dimitrios. When you decide what you want from me, let me know. I can’t handle the push and pull any longer. I’m just not programmed that way. I’m the kind of girl who watches romantic movies, for God’s sake, crying every damn time when they do the third act breakup. I can’t do this. I will work with you, but please do me a favor and just keep your distance. Okay?”
He took a deep breath but said nothing.
I’d just poured out my heart to him and he hadn’t given me the courtesy to answer me? I was shocked, enraged even. Mostly, I was heartbroken, which was stupid. Just stupid.
I understood torment, but this was killing me.
As I walked away, I wondered if he’d follow me as he’d done before. I even stopped long enough to glance over my shoulder.
He wasn’t.
Why did I have a feeling he’d already locked away what was left of his heart?