Chapter 29 - Damien
My excitement for the baby’s arrival was something that consumed me entirely the whole time Sky was pregnant.
I could only think about seeing the little one for the first time and getting to hold them in my arms. I knew it would be one of the most significant moments of my life, and it was something I didn’t want to miss for the world.
But with that moment quickly approaching, suddenly feeling the weight of it all stacking on my shoulders had me on edge. The reality was quickly setting in all the while we went to the hospital after she started dilating, and as strong as I tried to be, I couldn’t shake the indescribable fear I had for Sky and the baby.
Throughout her pregnancy, I ensured that everything was perfect and that she was nothing short of comfortable. She was carrying our baby, after all, and I only wanted the best for both of them.
Little did I know, that was the easy part. I focused entirely on that aspect, as well as being as supportive as I possibly could be, but I failed to prepare myself for the actual birth. For the delivery of our baby.
Needless to say, I was freaking out while I paced in the waiting room.
I knew I should be in there. That I should be by her side to help her through the process in whatever way she needed me to.
But the uncharacteristic fear and anxiety were so great that the doctors and nurses told me to leave for the time being. It wasn’t their first time dealing with a stressed-out father, so they were right to the point with me and didn’t hesitate.
It was embarrassing to say the least, but I took that opportunity to clear my head. Yet, being out there while Sky was getting closer to the moment only made me feel worse.
But I still couldn’t go in.
I didn’t want to scare her or ruin her concentration. I knew it could be a delicate thing, and I wasn’t going to be the one to mess it up.
I wanted to be in there more than anything, but by then, I wasn’t sure if I even could. So I continued pacing, scrubbing a hand down my face from time to time.
“What are you doing out here?”
Turning at the sound of Alex’s authoritative voice, my shoulders relaxed and I sighed upon seeing my brothers. They were all there, looking a lot more at ease than I felt.
“I was freaking the hell out,” I admitted, somewhat sheepishly.
“So who’s with her right now?” Daniil asked, somewhat incredulous as he assessed the situation.
“Gemma is, luckily. She knows how to handle this better than I do.”
They all looked at me with subtle disbelief. Alex was less subtle, however.
He narrowed his eyes at me slightly. “That’s nice and all, but you should be in there with her too. That’s your baby she’s delivering.”
Forcing out a breath, I rubbed at my neck and felt another wave of guilt and loathing hit me at once. “I know…I just don’t want to ruin the moment for her. I’m terrified for her...for something to potentially go wrong.”
At the admission, they all seemed to sigh once they understood a little better.
“Don’t worry, I’d be shitting bricks right now too,” Yuri said with a lopsided grin as he clapped my shoulder.
I threw him an irritated glare before Valentin put a rough hand against the back of his neck and jostled him a bit. “Not helping…”
Alex sighed and redirected his attention to me. “I thought you were all ready for this being a dad thing…now that the time’s here, you can’t handle it?”
I hated how it sounded, and I hated even more that he was right. “I am ready…I have been for a while now. I just want this part to be over.”
At that, he let go of a more gentle breath and put a supportive hand on my shoulder. “Look…you only get so many of these chances. You might wish it away now, but down the road, you’ll have wished you were a part of this. You’ll regret not being in the delivery room with her, seeing the baby for the first time with her.”
“This is a huge moment…don’t miss it,” Daniil added with his arms crossed.
“Really huge,” Yuri echoed with an amused grin, seemingly enjoying teasing me for everything going on.
Ignoring him, I look at Alex again. “I don’t want to regret missing it…but I feel so unprepared. I don’t want to throw Sky off her game.”
“Trust me, I think you’d rather have her be mad at you for potentially interrupting her flow instead of her being pissed that you missed the entire thing.”
Damn it…he had a good point.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I huffed. “What the hell should I do?”
When I opened my eyes again, I saw numerous incredulous expressions looking back at me.
“Get in there!”
Feeling caught and unable to deny that they weren’t wrong, I pulled in a breath and nodded. “Alright…okay. I can do this…”
“You’re gonna do just fine,” Alex reassured me, clapping my shoulder next. “You’re good on the fly, and I know you’ve been wanting this for a long time…go in there and support your wife.”
My wife.
It still wasn’t something I had gotten used to ever since we had the ceremony. It was spontaneous and hasty, but neither of us cared. After I got her back from the Pesci family, I knew I didn’t want to be without her.
There was no doubting how badly we both wanted it, and instead of wasting time deliberating if we should or shouldn’t, we just went for it.
I had no intention of ever going anywhere, or of ever giving up on her or the baby. They were both precious to me, and I made that very clear the moment I proposed.
Feeling a sense of gratitude for his support, I nodded and continued to psych myself up.
Alex was right…I couldn’t miss the moment regardless of how terrifying it all was. She was my wife, and I promised to be there for her no matter what. I wasn’t about to disappoint her.
“Man, I couldn’t imagine being in this position…” Val murmured to himself as he stroked his chin and looked toward the delivery room doors.
“I don’t know…I bet it wouldn’t be half bad,” Yuri added. “Might have to get started myself.”
Val chuckled and gave him a nudge. “Do you think Aria would be interested?”
Yuri snickered as they both found it amusing, but Alex shot them both a glare.
“Can you two be serious for one minute?”
Straightening up at that, they forced more serious expressions, only for those masks to slip slightly, still unable to resist.
A scream from the delivery room tore us all out of the moment at once, and my eyes widened at the sound. When the sound continued, followed by an irritated shout of my name, my ears perked up, and that sheepishness hit me all over again.
“I guess that’s your cue,” Daniil said, giving me a gentle push towards the doors. “Better get in there.”
“We’ll be right here waiting. You’ve got this,” Alex piped up, giving me a look of subtle pride.
With one last look in their direction, I forced out a breath and nodded.
I could do it. I could do it…
“Alright, here goes nothing…” I murmured to myself while I finally got myself going and pushed through the door.
It was a lot to take in at once. Sky on the hospital bed, skin slicked with sweat while she gripped the handrails and tried to focus on her breathing all the while doctors and nurses helped guide her through it.
Gemma gave me a look of relief as I approached. “Good…you’re back. Take my place and help her.”
Nodding wordlessly, I took up her spot as Gemma went to the other side and continued to offer her support.
Despite her pain and how she tried her best to maintain a brave face, Sky at least looked relieved to see me as she took my offered hand.
The way she wasted no time collecting that subtle reassurance from me gave me all the confirmation I needed to know that I made the right decision. That my place was by her side, not in the waiting room.
Everything happened in a blur. Before I knew it, she was pushing, and with some coaxing and reaffirming words from everyone in the room, she did it.
Those cries filled the room, and I felt like I was floating through a state of complete disbelief.
I couldn’t believe it was happening. That Sky had delivered our child and gave me the greatest gift I could ask for.
Once the baby was cleaned and placed on her chest while Sky let go of her happy tears, my chest felt completely locked up.
At that moment, I knew I had never seen anything quite so precious. Something so deserving of endless care and protection.
The moment I laid eyes on our daughter, unfettered awe and admiration filled me all the while I struggled to find the words.
As I stood over Sky with a supportive hand on her shoulder, we took in the wrinkled face of our newborn together and remained in that bubble for as long as we possibly could.
She was nothing short of perfect just like her mother, and I knew at once that another piece of my heart had been taken. But of course, I would never want it returned to me. It was hers to keep, and I did not doubt that she would protect it forever.