Chapter Forty-One
Meg
When Meg woke up, it was light out and her sister already had the fur pulled back on the window. She’d meant to get up for the supper meal, but she’d apparently slept the night through. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she set her legs on the side of the bed, again admiring the chamber that showed her sister’s touches, then got up to peer out the window.
Her chamber faced the sea. It was the loveliest view she’d ever seen. The sun shone bright across the water now dotted with fishing boats. The sparkle of the sun’s reflection across the waves danced and shimmered as though the faeries frolicked upon the water.
“It is quite a view. Do you not agree?”
Meg whirled around to see her sister strolling toward her with a tray of fruit and a fresh loaf of bread. “Tamsin, that smells wonderful. You are cooking?”
“I am, and I’m enjoying it. Alana helps me and we assist Thane’s cook, Agnes. She’s a lovely woman. But enough about me. I wish to hear all about you, dear sister. I brought a warm cup of vegetable broth for you. Please sit and chat with me. I can’t wait to hear about your adventures.”
Meg gave Tamsin a brief accounting of all that had happened since she’d escaped their father’s home—the kirk, finding the bairns, Lennox saving her, her illness, and the last trek across Morvern.
Tamsin said, “I’ve heard most of that from the others. Tell me about Da and the baron.”
Meg scowled, not wishing to think on it, but if she was to share it with anyone, it would be her sister. “Tamsin, he was disgusting. Old with gray hair and a protruding belly. He kissed me and I wished to vomit. All he spoke of with me was giving him bairns. Lads. He only wanted lads and right away. Da never told me anything until the day before when I met the baron. He was to return for me the next day. I had no choice but to run away.”
“The baron paid Papa for you, did he not?”
“Aye. I know not how much. Did that happen with Raghnall? And what happened to him?”
Tamsin took her turn and explained everything that had occurred with her husband. Meg had no idea that poor Tamsin’s life had been so difficult. The beatings, the near-death experiences, the cruelty by her husband and his mother.
“And Thane saved you every time.”
“He did. With help from Clan Grantham. I’d probably be dead by now if not for Thane and Eli. I adore him.”
“And the marriage bed? Please explain it all to me. You know Mama told us naught.”
“How much do you know, Meg? I heard rumblings about you and Lennox MacVey.”
Her eyes misted, but she held in the tears. “We handfasted. And I think I love him, but I’m so confused. I don’t understand everything about the intimacy or what I would do as his wife. I feel like I’ve walked from one world into another that is nothing like the first.”
“You have. Things on the Isle of Mull are lovely compared to our lives with Da. I mean, with Mama we were happy because we were young, but Eli and Dyna took the time to explain to me how cruel the world can be when it comes to women. They don’t accept it, and I don’t either. Not anymore. But I had to learn to love myself first before I could let Thane in.
“After all the days of being told I was lazy and unsightly and ignorant, it took a while to realize that I had value as a woman. That a man did want me to be his wife, a man who respected me and asked my opinion about things. Thane is amazing. When you hear all the details about his life, you’ll understand, but I learn something new from him every day. I adore him so much that it scares me.”
Meg asked, “Scares you? Please explain because that’s how I feel. I love Lennox, but I’m so scared, yet I’m not sure what I’m afraid of. Does that make sense? What if I do things wrong and he decides he doesn’t want me in a year and a day?”
Tamsin got up and pulled Meg to her feet. “Aye, it does. If you are like me, then you fear that one day you will wake up and it will all be gone. That your husband will disappear and you’ll be back in a horrible situation with cruel men around you. That you are in a dream that will be replaced by nightmares. I’ve had nightmares for a long time about Raghnall and his men. It’s only recently that the nightmares have finally begun to dissipate.”
And Meg was crying again. “That is it. I can’t believe that a chieftain wants me, that I am capable of running his castle, that he’ll not get sick of me and go for another. I don’t know how to get rid of these thoughts. Help me, Tamsin. I don’t wish to lose Lennox. I love him. I didn’t think I understood exactly what love was, but now I do.”
“You’ve been through some difficulties in a short period. Give yourself the time to relax. I know how Da worked you, but you don’t have to cut vegetables and wash his clothing right now. And as for Lennox? Sometimes you must have faith. Lennox MacVey is a good man. He hasn’t hit you, has he?”
“Nay. He would never hurt me.”
“I didn’t think he would, but I had to ask. If you love him, then trust that you will build a wonderful life together. It won’t be easy, but together, the two of you will get through the most difficult situations. Working through problems with someone you love and who loves you in return is far better than any day with a cruel man. Whether either of us likes to admit it, many times, Da was cruel. Not always, but he was never happy after he lost Mama.”
“I’m so glad I found you again, Tamsin. I think I’d like to get dressed and see Lennox.”
“I’m glad to have found you again, dearest sister, but I’m afraid Lennox took his leave at dawn. I pulled him aside and spoke with him privately. He gave me a brief explanation of all you’d been through and told me how strong his feelings are for you. I do believe him, Meg. He asked for your hand in marriage and of course, I accepted. But he let me know that he will come back whenever you are ready. That he knows you have been through an ordeal and that you must sort through everything. He said it was difficult to let you go, but that he had to because he loves you.”
Meg cried. “He didn’t say goodbye. I feel awful. I should have seen him off after all he’s done for me.”
Tamsin set her hand on Meg’s arm. “He’s in love with you. Do not worry. Spend a few days with me, and we’ll send a message that you are ready to return to him. He said he would wait for you, though it was difficult for him to leave you.”
Meg nodded to her sister and squeezed her hand. Everything Tamsin said made perfect sense.
Then why did her heart ache so?