74. Chapter Seventy-Four
Chapter Seventy-Four
Jordan
“ Quédate abajo, hijo mío .”
I shake my head.
“ Hay fuego .”
Pinch the bridge of my nose.
“ Mi hijo !”
Scrub my hands down my face.
“ Fuego !”
I jerk around, blinking dry eyes into focus.
Except there’s nothing but the night staff watching me wearily from the station right outside Mac’s room.
“You good?”
Blowing out a long breath, I turn back to Lugh, who’s on hallway duty, and shake my head. “Honestly … no.”
He juts his chin in understanding.
“You don’t have to go in.”
“I …” I swallow and it clicks. “How bad is it?”
His nostrils flare, his laser focus analyzing me. He must settle on something, some way to tell me the truth gently, because he nods once.
“He looks better than Peach,” he admits on a rasp that I wasn’t expecting. “But it’s damn difficult to see, Jay.”
The wind rushes out of me. My pulse spikes in my ears.
I have to try .
As much as I know this is all my fault, the pain of not seeing him has been just as difficult to breathe through. It feels like a part of me is lost. Asleep. Too far away from the rest of me.
And it’s not until Mac came home, came and found me, that I realize I’ve been fighting that feeling since he left.
Sending an acknowledging tip of the chin to Lugh, I steel myself against my past and step into Mac’s room with a racing heart and held breath.
The tube beneath his nose is the first thing to draw my attention. The bit of dried blood beneath it that someone missed. The dark coloring. The bandage taped to his temple.
My eyes well up.
“It should have been me.”
I’m shaking, aching, but getting closer.
“Fuck, it should be me in that bed,” I croak to his lax face. “Not you, mi Vida.”
His hand is right there so I grab it. Hold it. Interlock our fingers together.
He’s colder than normal and it makes my lip wobble, but I refuse to let go.
“It’s just you and me, okay?” I lift our joined hands and press my lips to the tattoos on his knuckles. “And I’m so goddamned sorry.” Touching my cheek to the back of his hand, I let the wounded sound trapped in my chest out. “Just … come back to me, all right? I’m not done with you.”