20. Isabelle
CHAPTER TWENTY
isabelle
I paced the hardwood floor of Colter and Ellison’s house so hard I thought my feet might burn a hole through the floorboards.
The boys were gone, off at Colter’s bachelor party, and Ellison was out seeing her future mother-in-law at the moment, leaving me at the house by myself. I could have lied on my bed for hours reading a book, but I was starting to get bored. Restless.
After what seemed like thirty laps around the living room, my phone started ringing. I hated to admit I ran over to it as fast as possible in hopes it was Reid calling—ideally about the male stripper prank I had convinced Ellison to pull on them—and it was.
I picked up the phone, putting it on speaker, immediately trying to hold in my laughter. “Hello?”
I was met with no response, just the loud music of whatever bar they were at.
But then an unfamiliar voice came through the phone. “I’m Reece. May I sit?”
Oh .
Of course, I was stupid. Why wouldn’t he be talking to other girls at the bar? It wasn’t like he was chained to me at all. We weren’t together. We weren’t exclusive. We hadn’t even talked about feelings other than the platonic ones.
I hung up, a wave of disappointment washing over me as I set my phone face down on the countertop.
Well, now what am I going to do?
After a moment of standing with my arms wrapped around myself and my bottom lip between my teeth, I grabbed my phone again, dialing the number I’d had memorized my entire life.
“Hello?” my sister answered after a few rings.
“Hey,” I said, trying to mask my emotion as best as possible.
“What’s wrong?” She immediately picked up on the difference in tone. “Did something happen?”
I debated telling her the truth. After all, what did I call her for if not to vent? But I also just wanted to talk to my sister. “It’s not important. Just in my head,” I admitted, giving her the bare minimum.
“Well, if you find yourself out of your head and want to tell me, you know I’m always here.”
“I know. So, what’s new? Anything exciting happening?” I quickly changed the subject, desperate to talk to her about anything other than my—lack of a—love life.
“Actually, yeah.” Her tone softened, like she was blushing on the other side. “I, uh, got asked on a date?”
I involuntarily flinched, her response catching me off guard.
“Hello?”
“Sorry, sorry. That’s great, Mills. Who’s the guy?” I didn’t want to seem like an overprotective sister, but I was .
“Just some guy on the baseball team. He’s in my calculus class.” I could tell she was trying to sound nonchalant. I mean, it was her first real date. I remembered when I was in high school and the thought of being asked out by a boy made my toes tingle with excitement.
“I’m excited for you, Mills. Just be careful, okay?”
I knew she was rolling her eyes at me, because she also let out a small breath that I probably wasn’t supposed to hear.
“I will, sissy. It’s just a date.”
“You know you don’t have to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with, right? You don’t owe anyone anything.” It was a question that needed to be asked, and I didn’t care if it made her embarrassed.
“Nothing’s going to happen, okay?” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, Isa, I know. You don’t have to act like Mom, okay? I’m not going to do anything dumb.”
The comment stung a little, but I brushed it off, reassuring myself that I was just looking out for her and keeping her safe. I didn’t want her to be heartbroken if she got hurt later on. I didn’t want her to create a cloud of self-doubt in her mind that maybe she’s just not good enough.
“Just be careful. And have fun,” I added.
“I will. It’s getting late here, so I should probably let you go. Mom and I are getting up early tomorrow.” She yawned, and I flicked my gaze to the digital clock on the stove. It was almost eleven o’clock there.
“Okay. I’ll talk to you soon, all right? Tell Mom I said hi.” I needed to give her a call. Lately our conversations had consisted of only good night texts, and I hated that I didn’t call her as often as I used to.
“Yeah. I love you. ”
“Love you, later, Mills.”
“Later.” She hung up the phone, leaving me in the quiet stillness of an empty house.
“Can you send me those assets for the signing coming up in a few weeks? Mm-hmm, yeah, I can put that all together… Okay, thanks. Mm-bye.” I hung up the phone with one of my coworkers back at Novel Imaginations.
I pulled up the shared folder of assets on my computer, mentally recounting my to-do list. I had a few posts I needed to schedule for the next couple weeks so I wouldn’t have to worry about them during the wedding festivities and some copy I needed to draft. I was grateful for a job that allowed me to work remotely, especially since it gave me the opportunity to travel and see Ellison and the boys for long stretches of time, but sometimes it made me feel kind of disconnected from everyone else at the bookstore.
I started working on pulling the graphics that I needed to schedule and their corresponding social media copy I’d drafted a few days ago, when Ellison walked around the corner and stood in front of the couch where I was sitting.
“Hey, Is. I, uh, I’m doing something today, and I don’t want to go alone,” Ellison said awkwardly as she crossed her arms and rubbed the toe of her boot across the floor.
“Okay, should I be worried?” I raised an eyebrow.
Ellison was the rational one of the two of us. She rarely did things on a whim, so for her to be this nervous, it kind of concerned me.
“No, no, no. It’s not bad. I…” she trailed off, and I gave her an expectant lo ok to continue.
“You’re not thinking of calling off the wedding, right?” I laughed nervously. That was the last thing any of us needed, especially Colter.
“God, no! No, I scheduled a tattoo appointment,” she rattled out. “I’m just nervous, I guess. I’ve never thought of getting a tattoo, but I want to get one for my dad.”
I looked her in the face, noticing a glassy sheen forming over her eyes.
“I…I want him to be with me for the wedding.”
A pang hit me. It was all making sense. Ellison had told me once that she hadn’t wanted to get a tattoo for her dad because it would’ve been too painful of a reminder. And she wouldn’t have known what to get anyway, because everything she had thought of was related to rodeo. But since she had come to terms with everything over the last couple years of being with Colter, I knew this was a huge step for her in her healing.
“Oh, Ells.” I pulled her close to me and wrapped in a hug. “Of course, I’ll go with you. I think your dad would have loved that.”
“Thank you, Isa. What would I do without you?” she whispered.
“You’d be just fine, but thanks for the confidence boost.” I giggled. It had become an inside joke between us ever since I said the phrase two years ago when she stayed in Montana after Colter’s injury.
“Welcome in, ladies! What can I do for you?” a tatted employee greeted us as we walked in the door.
Ellison wrung her hands. “I have an appointment. ”
I could tell she was nervous. Her hands practically shook if she wasn’t clasping them together.
“What’s your name, honey?” she asked. She paused then started furiously typing after Ellison gave her her name. “Perfect! Well, you can have a seat over there and we’ll get started, all right?”
We walked over to some plush couches and sat down.
“Are you nervous?” I asked, which was probably a stupid question, but I wasn’t sure what else to say.
“Yes.” She covered her face with her hands before laughing. “I don’t know if I can handle it.”
“I’ll be right there to hold your hand,” I reassured her. I got a small tattoo in college, so I knew the pain. It really depended on the spot you got it, but I never thought it was bad. My tattoo—a map of stars—was a bit hidden, too, just below my ribs.
A girl, probably around our age, with dark hair and blonde money pieces came over to us with an iPad. “Hey, Ellison! I’m Willow, and I’ll be your artist today. Do you have an idea of what you’re looking to get?”
Ellison told her what she was thinking as the artist nodded and wrote down some notes.
“All right, I’ll be right back, I’m just going to draw this up and then I’ll print out some different sizes that you can look at!” She smiled at us and then disappeared to the back.
“I think it’s going to look beautiful, Ellie.” I rested my hand on top of hers, and she gave it a squeeze.
“I hope so.” She gave me a nervous grin.
About fifteen minutes later, Willow had the design drawn up and Ellison chose the size she wanted, asking for my opinion every time she held the pieces of paper against her skin. She already knew where she wanted to get the tattoo—on the back of her right arm above her elbow.
It took another five minutes or so to get the stencil placed perfectly where she wanted it then Willow was ready to start.
“No backing out now, right?” Ellison apprehensively lay down.
“You’ll do great.” I think Willow’s cheerful voice eased some of Ellison’s nerves.
“I’ll be right here. If you need to squeeze my hand, you can,” I told her as I sat down on the velvet stool next to the chair Ellison was in.
The buzz of the tattoo gun filled the space as Willow got to work. A few times, Ellison tensed up, but it only took about thirty minutes. We made small talk with the artist as she worked, talking about Ellison’s upcoming wedding and how meaningful the tattoo was for her.
“All right, Ellison, my friend. You can stand up and take a look.”
Ellison took a deep breath and walked over to the mirror. As she looked over her shoulder at the design, a fine line pair of cowboy boots with angel wings and the date of her father’s death, I noticed a tear fall down her cheek.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” She wiped her eyes.
“Thank you for letting me be part of your special day. I’m sure your dad would be so proud of you. And now you get to have him with you forever.”
My eyes watered as I watched the exchange between them before Willow wrapped Ellison’s tattoo and we went to pay.
“Where did you guys go?” Colter asked when we got out of the car. The boys were all waiting for us out on Colter and Ellison’s front lawn when we got back.
“Ellison had a tattoo appointment!” I smiled.
“Ooh, let’s see it!” Jake got up from his seat. He had a few tattoos on his arms but didn’t have full sleeves like Mikey.
Ellison spun around so she could show them.
“Did you get a tattoo, Isa?” Mikey asked, and I narrowed my eyes a bit at him.
“No…” I knew to tread lightly with Mikey and not give him anything to work with.
“Do you have any tattoos?” he continued.
I rolled my eyes. “No visible ones, and no, you can’t see.”
“Leave the girl alone, Michael.” Reid came behind him, throwing his arm around Mikey to put him in a headlock. Mikey clawed at Reid’s arm until he finally let go.
“I love it, Ells. I think your dad would love it too.” Colter pulled her in for a hug, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
“Are you guys coming over to Reid’s with us?” Hayden walked over to me.
I looked over at Ellison. “Uh…”
“Yeah! Let us get changed and we’ll head over with you guys.” Ellison pulled away from Colter and nodded at Hayden before heading into the house .
I followed her with a shrug, letting the door swing closed behind me as I walked into the house.
Ellison dug through her closet looking for clothes we could wear as I flopped down on her bed.
“Seems like just yesterday I was the one always digging through your closet,” I joked as a T-shirt hit me in the face.
“What, like that?” Ellison looked over her shoulder with a grin. “Now you know what I had to deal with all the time.”
“What are we doing at Reid’s?” I asked.
“Probably going to hang out. They might rope a bit. Who knows? It’s the Silver Creek boys.” She emerged from the closet with a pair of jeans to replace the shorts she was wearing. She already had on a tank top, and it looked like she wasn’t going to change out of that.
“I’ll be right back, then.” I walked over to the guest room to change out of my shorts and off-the-shoulder crop top. I slipped on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt then headed back to Ellison’s room.
“What, you’re not going to wear something sexy ?”
I rolled my eyes, reaching out to smack her arm. “Stop making fun of me!”
“You’re right. Wouldn’t want Reid to check you out too much.” She winked.
I narrowed my eyes. “I’m more worried about Mikey. Not Reid.”
“You’d be surprised.” She shrugged. “Seems he’s always trying to steal glances at you.”
“Whatever you say. But I doubt it.” I brushed her off.
“What’s holding you back? I feel like this is different than—” she started to play devil’s advocate, but a memory flashing in my mind distracted me .
“I have a really good feeling about this one, Ells.” I took a deep breath as I fluffed my hair in our house’s entryway mirror. Sam and I had been on five dates already, and I was confident we would make it official soon.
A car horn blared from outside.
“He’s here. I’ll see you later!” I waved at Ellison as I spun toward the door.
“Let me know how it goes!” she replied as I gave her a soft smile before closing the door behind me.
“Hey, cutie,” Sam greeted me as I slid into the passenger seat of his Camaro.
“Hey!” I ran my eyes up and down his outfit. He was dressed much more casually than I was, with jeans and a T-shirt in comparison to the black dress I was wearing. “What are we doing tonight?”
“I thought we could just hang out at my house. Roommates are out of town this weekend. Why?” He shrugged.
“Oh…” my voice trailed off. “I think I’m a bit overdressed then. I assumed we were going out.”
“Nah, you look hot.”
I blushed as he took one hand off the steering wheel and placed it on my thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
When we got back to his house, we cooked dinner together, which was honestly better than any fancy restaurant anyway. I could picture us doing this every weekend, setting aside time to spend together like couples do.
“You look sexy as hell,” he whispered in my ear as we sat on his couch, watching a movie.
“I know.” I giggled right before he crashed his lips to mine. We’d never done anything physical up until this point, other than making out a few times. He’d expressed wanting to take things to the next level, but he’d been patient, letting me decide when I was ready. I didn’t miss the annoyance that flashed in his eyes whenever I’d stop us from going too far, though .
But it had already been a few weeks. Maybe taking that next step would be what we needed to make our relationship official.
The next morning, he drove me back home and gave me a kiss on the cheek before I got out of the car, but nothing had been made official yet. I chalked it all up to waiting for the right moment. Asking me to be his girlfriend right after sex wasn’t exactly the most romantic thing.
“How did it go?” Ellison was waiting for me when I walked in the door.
“It finally happened,” I blurted out.
“He asked you to be his girlfriend?” Her eyes widened, and my heart dropped.
“Oh, well, n-no,” I stuttered. “But we took things to the next level, you know.”
“Are you happy about that?” she asked.
“Yeah! Yeah, for sure.” It was only a half-lie. “It was necessary, I think. I’m sure we’ll be official any day now.”
But instead of asking me to be his girlfriend, Sam ghosted me. And then one night at a bar, I saw him with another girl on his arm.
“It’s fine, Ells.” Reality came flooding back in. “I’m just not going to get my hopes up.” I knew too well what getting your hopes up for a guy led to.
Disappointment. That’s what.