Chapter Thirty-Eight
THE WAIT stretched out far longer than Xian preferred. Which left him too much time to think on how bold he’d been with Song Lim.
Seeing the shoemaker standing there, dirty and haggard but so alive, had brought on a profound desire in Xian. A compulsion so rare for him, he feared it only existed in an occasional, fleeting dream.
He sat on the single unbroken stool he’d found in the room, placing himself in the darkest corner, and running his finger over his lips more times than he could count. Reliving that kiss.
He’d been awful. He should have done more, but the intricacies eluded him.
What did one do with their tongue in such circumstances?
There had been the kiss with Sir William, but that hardly counted.
The only other for comparison was ten years in the past. When Xian, too young and na?ve to understand what was asked of him, had caught the eye of a kitchen hand; a boy of his own age, but with the skill of one far older.
He’d cornered Xian after they’d shared a plate of honeyed figs stolen from the kitchen.
But as sweet as his lips had been, and as curious as Xian was about the bodily affairs that absorbed everyone around him, it had been unbearable; the damp and searching mouth, the wandering hands between his legs, and the weight of a stranger pinning him against the wall. Xian had untangled himself and fled.
‘Argh, stupid egg.’ He thumped his head against the wall, remonstrating with himself for how much noise it created in the quiet.
‘There are more important things than kisses to consider.’ Not half an hour ago he’d been another creature entirely…
and not an hour before that he’d stood over a dead man.
Mandarin Feng’s entire palace was burning to the ground, and it was because of Xian’s wish.
Yet here he was, nibbling his nails because he feared he wasn’t brave enough to tell Lim that he did not want that to be the last kiss they shared. That he’d not run from what Lim wished to teach him; because he’d found a desire to learn…for the first time in his life.
He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. And waited. Listening out for Lim’s return, but hearing instead the distant shouts and cries and tumult of the burning palace; guilt-ridden for knowing his only concern had been for Song Lim.
Neither lies nor violence nor abuse had brought on Xian’s transformation. It was fear of losing Song Lim that had done that.
Xian stared into the grey-shaded world around him; the details pristine with the enhanced vision of a nocturnal creature.
He’d taken Lim away from the palace but had not travelled as far as he’d have liked; the shoemaker had been struck unconscious by falling debris and became an unreliable passenger.
Xian had followed his nose towards the river until Lim had started with a painful coughing fit that sounded as though he’d break his ribs.
Xian had abandoned his race here in this ramshackle but abandoned area of the Manhao outskirts.
Lim was long in returning. What if this area were not so abandoned as Xian thought?
Unease was creeping in when at last the sound of rushed footsteps had him jumping to his feet. He bit back the urge to call Song Lim’s name.
What if the shoemaker had been intercepted, and these were guards that came for Xian? Hunting for a murderer.
He winced, recalling Captain Duan’s dead-eyed stare, the stench of blood as it ran from him.
A far more pleasing scent caressed his nostrils; leather and musk and aloeswood, mingling with soot and smoke. And horseflesh.
He released the breath he’d held. Song Lim had returned.
‘Xian…Xian…where are you?’
He rushed to the doorway.
Lim waved to him from across the courtyard, beaming. He sat upon a dark horse, one that wore no saddle, with only a bridle to give the shoemaker control. Lim held a length of fabric bundled under his arm.
‘Look, look who I have!’ He whispered, but his excitement raised his voice.
‘Hush, Song Lim. I am coming.’ Xian moved into a run, his feet hardly causing the straw to rustle. ‘Where did you find this animal?’ The horse danced high on its feet at his approach, and Xian slowed to a careful walk.
‘Easy there, Longma.’ Lim patted the animal’s neck. ‘This is Xian, the man you helped me find.’
The horse nickered, shifting away.
‘Stand still, what’s gotten into you?’ Lim scowled.
But Xian suspected he knew.
‘Come now, don’t be afraid.’ He raised his hand, and after a few uneasy seconds Longma sniffed at him, velvet nostrils blowing warm air against his skin. ‘I imagine you’ve not scented many like me…but I am no threat to you.’
The horse’s ears twitched at his words, nostrils flaring. Xian held still, waiting for the animal to understand. Nostrils flared once more before the tension in its bunched muscles finally released. Longma snorted but settled its feet.
‘What was that about?’
‘Longma does not know many huli jing, I suspect.’
Lim slid off the horse’s back, landing beside Xian and unfurling the clothing he carried; a light brown samfu, the long sleeve jacket and trousers creased from being carried by the shoemaker in such a way.
‘Well he best behave around you,’ Lim said. ‘Or he’ll find himself back at the market, liable to be sold off to an unkind master.’
The horse shook its head, rattling the bit against its teeth, and nudged against Lim so firmly the shoemaker stumbled. Xian’s laughter hiccoughed from him as the shoemaker told off the animal.
‘A horse and clothes, you’ve done well, Lim.’ Xian took the garments Lim offered him and shook out the trousers; a pair that looked a perfect fit. ‘This is wonderful, thank you.’
‘Hardly perfect,’ Lim huffed. ‘He couldn’t find a decent pair of shoes for you. Tried to hand me a pair of boots, would you believe? Three sizes too big. I had already left you too long, so I told him to eat his shoes, I couldn’t leave you any longer.’
‘He?’
Lim nodded with an excitement that shone from him.
‘Yes! I could hardly believe it when I got my bearings, and saw where it was you’d brought us.
Guanyin is shining her light on us, Xian.
Quickly, get changed so we might go. And we shall never speak again of me making you wear a damned curtain.
I ought to be whipped. Do you need help with that knot? ’
Not at all, but Xian nodded. ‘Please, if you could loosen it.’
Lim stepped up to him, his eyes fastened on the knot with such determination that it was obvious he was fighting not to look Xian in the eye. ‘Almost done…did it up good and tight didn’t I?’
‘You did.’ Xian’s nerves tingled with each brush of the shoemaker’s knuckles against his skin.
He was hungry for their closeness, now he’d discovered his appetite, but he’d waited many years.
He’d have to wait at least a few hours more until they were safely beyond reach of a vengeful mandarin. ‘Thank you. I won’t be a moment.’
He slipped behind the wall, just out of sight, and let the curtain fall away. Not so fearful of such nakedness as he’d been.
Xian dressed quickly and returned to Lim, who stood with his back to the gateway; protecting Xian’s privacy.
‘I’m ready,’ Xian said.
Lim gave Xian a leg up onto Longma’s back, watching him settle before he used the wall to find a footing that helped him vault up to join him. He settled in against Xian, grunting, and shifting his hips so many times Xian asked him, ‘Is everything all right?’
‘Yes, yes. Didn’t account for how close we’d be, that’s all.’ He coughed roughly. ‘I’ll need to reach around you to hold the reins. Tell me if that’s too much, I can just walk alongside—’
‘It is not too much, Lim. And you will not walk, not after what you’ve been through. I can get off if you’d prefer?’
‘No.’ Lim’s arms slid past his waist. ‘I’d not prefer that at all. I just hope I don’t embarrass myself, that’s all.’
‘Embarrass yourself? How would you do that?’
‘Never mind. Let’s just ride on. Master Ren is expecting us.’ He urged Longma forward with a thrust forward of his hips that had Xian’s eyes widening.
He swallowed hard. ‘Master Ren?’
‘A good man I met when I arrived here. Could hardly believe my eyes when I saw his farmhouse in the distance, and thought I must have been dreaming when I found Ren was at home. I was sure he’d have gone to the palace to watch those fireworks.
’ His shiver touched Xian’s back. ‘Lucky thing he didn’t considering the mess that became.
What sort of idiots burn down their own palace, because they are too busy showing off and acting like peacocks to bother with the dangers? ’
Xian chose not to speak of Sir William’s hand in the chaos. He was enjoying this ride; telling Lim the daemon’s catastrophic interference with the fireworks had almost cost his life would only spoil things. ‘It sounds like fortune is with us. Is Master Ren’s farm near the river?’
‘It is. He’s a farmer of the water, he says.’
Xian’s head was light with the scent of the shoemaker, and his back heated by his closeness. Song Lim’s solid body was a wall at his back, his arms twin barriers against a world that may yet still come for Xian.
Though there was a particular hardness Xian struggled to place. Until his appallingly clueless mind realised that it was not a hidden tool in Lim’s trousers responsible for the prodding. Not a tool for the workshop, at least.
‘How far is it to Master Ren’s place?’ he asked, fingers clenching Longma’s mane. Maybe the motion of the horse stirred such rises? ‘Is it very far?’
His thoughts swirled like leaves caught in the autumn winds. Did he wish the journey near or far? Should he dismount? Was it paining Lim to ride like that?
‘The distance is not far, no. But Xian—’ The name rumbled in Lim’s chest, and Xian had to gather himself before he replied.
‘Yes? Is it too much? Do you want me to get down? I don’t mind.’
‘What? Too much? No, no.’ Lim’s confusion tilted his words. ‘Xian, there is something you should know of Master Ren. You have much in common. I mean, I’m sure he’s not a fox spirit, but he’s…well, he’s a Natural, I’m certain.’
‘A Natural?’ Xian swallowed, grateful for the surprise that took his mind from thought of Lim’s hard touch. ‘With Sir William that is three I know of here in Manhao. The flower seller near Master Chen’s workshop was unique as well, she assisted me in finding you.’
‘And me when I tried to run from the guards. A decent woman.’ Lim urged Longma down a darkened roadway, the warehouses on either side standing unlit and lifeless.
Xian felt every flex of Lim’s muscles. ‘Is there need for England then? Perhaps Sir William does not know that you might find your kind here?’
Xian’s nervous happiness evaporated with the thought of Captain Duan’s lifeless eyes, and the vile threats cast by the Mandarin, the banishment from the Imperial Palace and the long, terrible years endured at the hands of Marchioness Shen.
‘I don’t want to stay, Lim.’ He’d never be free here. ‘I will tell you everything, I promise you, but just know that the Middle Kingdom must be in my past.’
Longma walked steadily down the deserted path; one that smelled of mould and damp earth.
‘And that is all I need know.’ Lim’s breath shifted Xian’s hair, and he caressed his arm with a thumb lifted from the reins. ‘I know you are not fond of horses, but I’d like to get us to Master Ren’s fast as we can. Could you manage a quicker pace do you think?’
‘Longma is a fine animal. He does not frighten me, but I’m not a skilled rider.’
‘I’ll not let you fall.’
‘I know. Ride as fast as you like. I’m not afraid.’