Chapter Two
C ami’s hand began to shake as she read the note.
D EAR M S . H ARDESTY , it read. I’ M SORRY . I F I HAD A CHOICE , I WOULD KEEP HER, BUT I CAN ’ T . S HE ’ S BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME . I KNOW YOU ’ LL DO WHAT ’ S BEST FOR HER . I TRUST YOU . H ER NAME IS L OLLY . A T LEAST THAT ’ S MY NAME FOR HER . T HE brACELET IS FROM ME WITH HER NAME ON IT . M AKE SURE SHE KNOWS IT WAS FROM ME . P LEASE TELL HER I LOVED HER AND THAT IT WASN ’ T HER FAULT .
There was no signature. She looked up at Gus Claymore who looked every bit as shocked as she felt. “Oh, no,” she whispered to no one in particular. “ No. ”
Why me? Who would leave a baby alone like this? And for me?
“Do you have any idea who wrote that?”
“No…” Shaken, Cami stared down at the child, who balled her tiny fist against her mouth. “Wh-what am I supposed to do with her?”
“Keep her!” Eloise shouted, tugging at her father’s coat.
“She’s not a doll, darlin’. We can’t just… keep her. We… should probably call the authorities. Abandoned child. This is a matter for child services, I’d guess.”
“Child services? You mean a social worker? Foster care?” Cami shuddered. “And it’s almost seven thirty. I’m sure the closest social services offices up in Billings are long closed. And the local sheriff… what’s he going to do with her? Stick her in a… a jail cell? Let her sleep it off?”
Gus was staring at the baby seemingly as bothered by all of this as she was. “I don’t think we have much—”
“The note said you should take her,” Eloise interjected, her distressed gaze traveling back and forth between them. “And I found her. So, she’s our baby, too.”
Gus wrapped an arm around his daughter. “This baby isn’t Ms. Hardesty’s responsibility. Or ours. At least she won’t be after we turn her over to the proper authorities.”
Turn her over. Just like that? Like one would take a lost shoe to the lost and found? To be mixed up with all the other lost things. And that would be that. This child would no longer be her problem, or his.
But… she was her problem because they’d found her. Whether the universe had deemed it so, or the child’s mother, it had become Cami’s immediate, very urgent problem.
Fleetingly, Cami thought of all the lost animals she’d chased, rescued, and cared for over the years. Abandoned kittens or stray dogs in need of care. Like the two pups her sister, Shay, and Cooper Lane had found up in the mountains and brought home only a few months ago, Poppy and Pippa, who were now blissfully integrated into their ranch family.
But a baby .
A mystery child. That was different. Totally different.
The words from the note rang in her ears. I know you’ll do what’s best for her. I trust you.
Why? Who left that note and what made her think that she would know what to do with this baby? Was it someone she knew or had known years ago? A student? A friend? She couldn’t fathom anyone she knew abandoning a child this way.
But she also knew the times were hard and there were a million reasons why something like this could happen. Still, she felt angry for this child for what she was about to go through because she was now alone in the world.
For her very first Christmas.
“Maybe whoever left her knew I had a big family; knew I’d have help if I took her home. It’s too late tonight to make any decisions. I’m gonna take her home and we’ll figure something else out in the morning.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Maybe not. But this isn’t her fault. Look, I’m… It’s the end of a very long week—semester—and I’m probably not thinking clearly about any of this, but I know one thing. I can’t just ditch this baby tonight. She’s already been left once, and I won’t do that to her again. At least not tonight.”
“You sure about this?”
Gus Claymore seemed to have a serious resting face, even when he wasn’t looking at her like she was crazy. Which randomly made her wonder how often he smiled.
“Do you have a better idea?” she asked.
His gaze flicked to his daughter who seemed to be, of the three of them, the surest of the right thing to do. “I’ll drive you,” he said. “There’s no car seat and you can’t do that alone. Especially in this weather. We’ll stop at the store for some supplies, then I’ll drive you back home to the Hard Eight. Someone can come back for your car in the morning.”
Tightening her arms around the baby, she smiled at him. “Thank you, Mr. Claymore.”
“It’s just Gus. I’d say this night is grounds for us to be on a first-name basis, wouldn’t you?”
She swallowed thickly. “To be honest, I’m very grateful I wasn’t alone here to find her.”
Eloise slipped her hand into her father’s. “So, we’re keeping her?”
“Ms. Hardesty is. Just for tonight, though. She’s not ours to keep, darlin’.”
“Maybe she’s not anybody’s anymore,” Eloise said. “That’s so sad.”
Over the child’s head, Cami met Gus’s eyes. There were no good answers on a night like this. There were only questions.
*
After stopping at the store on the way back to the Hard Eight, Gus drove Cami and the baby back home. In the middle of a cold snow flurry, they pulled into the ranch house and unloaded the armload of supplies they’d bought.
He’d been to the Hard Eight multiple times to treat one of their horses or cattle but never inside the house. It was a classic Montana ranch house half-built of logs and half of more modern additions with a big front porch and rockers facing east toward the sunrise.
Inside was every bit as warm as it looked from the outside with a river rock fireplace crackling with a fragrant pinon fire against one long wall and a spruce Christmas tree propped in one corner awaiting decorations. The house was a mix of old and new, warm and rich with a collection of a lifetime of memories and books and coziness.
Cami’s entire family was gathered around the long, pine table in the dining room deep in an animated discussion about the ranch development. There was Shay Hardesty, Cami’s older sister and her new boyfriend, horse trainer Cooper Lane. Liam, Cami’s older brother was there alongside his older brother, Will Hardesty and his fiancée Izzy. And at the head of the table, Sarah, Cami’s mother. When they entered the room, the sight of the baby in Cami’s arms stopped whatever discussion they’d been having in its tracks and ushered in a stunned silence alongside the cold outside air.
Cami’s mother Sarah was the first to notice them. An uncanny slightly older version of her daughter Cami, Sarah was still a pretty woman in her late fifties.
“Is… is that a… a—” she began.
“Baby?” Liam finished.
“Why, yes. Yes, it is. A baby,” Cami said, scanning the faces of her family. “ She is.”
“But… whose?” Cami’s older sister, Shay, said.
“I can explain…”
“Is there something you’ve been meaning to tell us, baby sister?” her brother, Liam teased. “Or are we bringing in ringers now to fill our guest reservations?”
“Not funny,” Cami informed him, “and she’s not mine. We don’t know exactly who she belongs to—”
“ What? ” Sarah said, alarmed.
“Someone left her in the church. For me. Apparently.”
A stunned silence followed that statement.
Gus leaned into the impasse. “There was a note.”
“For Ms. Hardesty,” Eloise said. “From the baby’s mommy.”
Sarah got to her feet and hurried to Cami’s side, pulling the blanket aside to reveal the baby. “For you? Oh, my heavens. How old is—?”
“I don’t know,” Cami said. “But judging from her size, maybe a couple of days? Maybe a week?”
Shay and Cooper’s rescue puppies Pippa and Poppy galloped into the room at the sound of visitors and gleefully greeted Eloise, who sat fearlessly down on the floor to pet them.
“May I?” Sarah asked, holding out her arms.
“You have more experience than me.” Cami handed the baby over to her mother who proceeded to unwrap her from the bundle of blankets. Vintage-looking blankets with baby patterns of yellow ducks and pink elephants. Threadbare blankets over those of faded white. But carefully, lovingly tucked around the child against the cold.
Unfurled, the child lay dressed in a clean onesie and diaper, a skinny little thing, but as Cami had first noticed, beautiful. Her bright blue eyes blinked up at Sarah and her tiny fist opened and closed around thin air. A too-big silver bracelet dangled from her little bicep and caught Sarah’s eye immediately. She fingered the bracelet, then looked questioningly at Cami.
She shrugged and shook her head. “I know. We bought formula,” Cami said. “Well, Gus did. And diapers. At least enough for the weekend. If… we have her that long.”
Sarah’s gaze came up to Cami’s. “Who would leave a child to you? Who could leave this precious little thing behind?”
Cami bit her lip. “Someone desperate. Who needs help, I imagine. They could have left her at the fire station. There’s a Safe Haven drop there. But—”
“But they left her for you instead? You said there was a note?”
Cami pulled it out of her pocket and handed it to her mother who read it quickly. “I can’t explain it. I have no idea who wrote it. Or why she would think I’m the best person to take care of this baby.”
Sarah laid a hand on Cami’s arm. “That’s really no mystery to the rest of us, dear. You, who care for twenty-five children a day, every day. And treat them like your own.”
“I’m just a teacher,” Cami said. “Not a mother. For heaven’s sake. Some days I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
Cami met Gus’s gaze as he was watching her. “Welcome to my world.”
Cami grinned back. She had a nice smile. Warm. He could see why her kids all seemed smitten by her.
“Before we get ahead of ourselves,” Shay said, brushing a finger along the silky hair on the baby’s head, “maybe we should think about calling the authorities. I mean, you can’t just keep a found baby. Can you?”
His feeling exactly. Gus wasn’t about to step into this fray and offer his opinion, but he had a sense that Liam’s baby sister had no clue what she was actually up against here. Not just caring for this newborn but fighting a system that generally didn’t care about notes or tender feelings. Something to which he could attest personally.
“Of course, we’re— I’m —going to call the authorities in the morning. Or… on Monday. But it’s late Friday night. No one’s around and there’s no need to rush into anything. She’s just a baby for heaven’s sake. We can do a baby for a night, can’t we? Or a couple of nights?”
“And the real mother?” Cooper put in. “What about her?”
“I don’t know,” Cami said, clearly frustrated at all the questions she couldn’t answer. “But that’s beside the point right now, isn’t it?” She shook her head. “I’m going to make up a bottle before she realizes she’s starving and in a roomful of doubters.”
As she left for the kitchen with the bag full of groceries, the others exchanged looks. Definitely doubtful looks, at that.
“Oh, dear,” Sarah said softly.
“Yeah, you can say that again.” Liam ran a hand through his too-long dark hair. “I don’t suppose you tried to talk her out of this, did you?” he asked Gus.
“I did, actually. But… as you can see, she wasn’t having any of it. I feel part of this, too, as it was Ella who found the baby, lying there all by her lonesome. Let’s just say it was definitely a tough call.”
“Poor thing,” Shay murmured, brushing the baby’s soft hair. “And at Christmastime, too. But we know she can’t keep it. Right? I mean she definitely can’t keep it.”
They all silently acknowledged that such a thing had no hope of happening. Not that Gus had any clue whether Cami intended to do so. All he could say for sure was that her instincts to protect that child were familiar and, he had to admit, admirable. But protecting a child of your own was one thing. Protecting a stranger’s child from a predictable and most likely sad future was another battle altogether.
With a last look at the tiny baby in Sarah’s arms, Gus rubbed his still-cold hands together. “Look, I’ve gotta get Ella home. It’s past her bedtime. I’m just gonna say good night to Cami,” he told the others before heading toward the kitchen. “If you’ll excuse me?” He scratched Pippa on the head before walking through the door to the kitchen where he found Cami measuring out powdered formula into a clean baby bottle.
She was closely reading the instructions on the side of the baby formula can when he walked in. She glanced up at him and flicked a smile his way. “Don’t say it. I’m sure you think I’m crazy, too.”
“Nothing of the kind,” he said, pulling the box of diapers out of the plastic shopping bag and putting it on the counter. “You’re only doing what you feel is right. This whole thing, I mean, who’d have imagined finding a kid, abandoned, on a night like this? I do feel bad leaving all of this to you. We did find her together, after all.”
“And you don’t think keeping her here over the weekend is the right thing?”
“I didn’t say that.” He sighed. “Just don’t get too attached. She’s gonna end up in the system one way or another and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”
She poured filtered water into the bottle and twisted on the cap, giving the whole thing a good shake. “You know, they say that to me every year about my students. Don’t get too attached. And I try not to. I really do. But kids… they find a way inside you, don’t they? There are some—a few—that will always have a piece of my heart. And if the worst that happens is that this little baby manages to be one of those? Then so be it. I’m not going to let her fall through the cracks. Without her mom, she needs someone on her side. It might as well be me.”
“That’s a lot to take on.”
“Maybe. Or maybe it’s just who I am. I don’t even know where this is going right now. At any rate, you’re absolved of any responsibility for this. It’s my choice. So don’t worry.” She put the bottle in the bottle warmer Gus had bought and set the timer.
A frown tugged at his brow. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll check back in tomorrow.”
That drew her gaze again. “Not really necessary.”
“Right. I’ll see you then.”
She tilted a curious look at him, and it was then he noticed how pretty her gray-green eyes were, limned by dark lashes.
“In all this… it was nice to meet you, Gus Claymore. An inauspicious meeting to be sure. But still, bloody noses and lost babies aside? A pleasure.”
A grin edged the worry on his face. “Oh, right. Bloody noses aside. And with an apology still to be written. Nice to meet you, too.” He started to offer his hand, but that was just too awkward. What he really wanted to do was give her the hug she obviously needed. But that was out of the question, too. “Good night, Cami.”
“Night, Gus.”
*
On the drive home, that moment remained seared in his thoughts. There was something about her, about Cami Hardesty, that… intrigued him. No, intrigued was the wrong word. Captivated was more accurate. Against his will, he found himself attracted to her. Not that he should find that so surprising. He imagined he wasn’t alone in that. Aside from being beautiful, it was her strength, the unflappable way she had about her that had drawn him. He tried to imagine any other woman he knew in that situation who might have done what she was about to do and he came up with only one name. Lissa.
His wife. His late wife—Lissa Redmond-Claymore—would have done exactly what Cami did. He knew that down to his bones. And even if the whole thing was futile. Even if— when —that child wound up tangled in the system, Lissa wouldn’t have regretted doing what she did for an instant. She was an optimist in all things, including her own mortality. Especially where Ella was concerned. And even him.
Sometimes, he believed her optimism about him was misplaced. Since she’d passed—it had been almost four years now—he’d lost sight of such things. If it weren’t for Ella needing him, he would have been lost. Ella, too, had her mother’s optimism. Maybe it was a gene he’d missed out on. He couldn’t say. But Ella had kept him in the game.
And if Cami could do that for this little child, then who was he to argue?
In the back seat of his truck, Ella was chattering away about the Hardesty dogs, and how they’d been found alone in the mountains as Gus pondered how life seemed to turn on a dime. One turn this way or that and he wouldn’t have been there tonight to pick Ella up, never would have been there to find that child or to help Cami with it. Had that cow taken her sweet time delivering that baby, he’d still be out at Bing Driscoll’s and Ella would probably be home in bed, unaware of the cruelties of this world. Then the conversation took a turn toward something closer to home.
“I’m glad my mommy didn’t leave me in a church. Even though she went to heaven,” she repeated, a story they’d gone over time and again since she’d been old enough to realize she had no mother. “She didn’t want to go.”
“That’s right, darlin’. She didn’t want to go. She loved you so much.”
“But that baby’s mommy didn’t love her that much?”
“I’m sure she did,” he said. “It’s just… complicated. I don’t know her whole story or why she did what she did. She must have been very scared for her baby. I just know that little one was very lucky you found her.”
Ella stared out the window at the dark landscape speeding past. “Daddy?”
“Mmm-hmm?”
“You wouldn’t ever leave me like that, right?”
Her question hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest. It was a question he’d always dreaded, because it meant she was old enough to be missing the piece of them that was no longer here. “No. Of course not, honey. You know I never, ever would. You’re my girl.”
“Even if you have to work so hard and it’s… complicated?”
He looked at her in his rearview mirror and, even in the dark, could see her eyes glistening. “Even then. I promise you. I will never, ever leave you. It’s you and me, El. You don’t have to worry about that. Ever.”
But she’d already lost a mother whom she had no memory of, and life was full of uncertainty. Eloise was a smart little cookie, and he could almost hear all those thoughts spinning through her mind right now taking her down unknown roads. It broke his heart a little for her. It always had. She was too young to deal with such things. But that was her life.
“Hey,” he said. “What do you say we go into Marietta tomorrow to look for a Christmas present for Miss Rebecca? And maybe for Luke, too. And if we do that quickly, we can stop at the Copper Mountain chocolate shop for some hot chocolate?”
She perked up. “With marshmallows? And caramel sauce? And whipped cream?”
“The whole works.”
“Okay, Daddy.” She rested her forehead tiredly against the window jamb. “Are we almost home yet?”
“In just a minute, baby. In just a minute. It’s been a long day. You just close your eyes.”
But she already had.
Gus tightened his fingers around the steering wheel, watching the snow fall against his wipers. Maybe hot chocolate wasn’t the answer to all the world’s problems, or even his, but damned if it wasn’t a good start.
*
By morning, as the sun peeked over the horizon, Cami was the one questioning her sanity in taking in this child. She’d been up half the night with Lolly between feedings and diaper changes and fussing that she assumed was normal for a baby this young. But where natural parents braced themselves for this kind of night chaos for months, she found herself unprepared.
She was exhausted, teary-eyed, and scared. But holding Lolly against her shoulder in the middle of the night, calming her, promising her everything would be all right and feeling her relax against her was perhaps the most delicious feeling she’d ever had. To feel her burrow against her neck, her warm skin against Cami’s own, the baby smell of her… triggered something unexpected in her.
Don’t get too attached , Eloise’s father had warned.
Right. She knew better. But that knowledge did nothing to change those feelings that rose up in her like quicksilver. Some called it baby fever. Many of her fellow teachers had talked about it over the years—that urge to beat the clock and have a child before it was too late. Somehow, she’d missed that feeling. Perhaps it was because they were coupled off and she wasn’t. She hadn’t had a serious boyfriend for a couple of years and even then, Patrick had assured her that he had no intention of having children.
Ironically, that wasn’t even what had broken them up. She’d convinced herself that teaching dozens—maybe hundreds—of children over the years would suffice for her.
No, she’d walked away from Patrick for lots of other reasons, all of which had made her gun-shy about dating again at all. His consuming ambition, determination to live halfway across the country in some big city, but mostly the fact that there were moments—awful moments—when he reminded her of her father. Territory she’d sworn never to wander into with any man.
It was a miracle, in fact, that her brothers, Will and Liam, had managed to become the good men they were, despite their father’s ham-fisted fathering. And given all the other stuff they’d uncovered since his passing, it was indeed a miracle their family was still intact at all. No, she wasn’t in the market for a man at all. She was too busy for all that. And now, with Lolly, that went double for singledom.
Except that…
Several times during the night, her thoughts strayed to Gus Claymore, and the gentle way he had with Eloise in the middle of all that chaos. The way he’d stuck by Cami after finding the baby without a question. Even saying he’d check in on her later today. Well, maybe it was only words. But there was a moment in the kitchen when she’d stopped ignoring his quiet charm and actually allowed herself to take it in.
Yes, he was handsome with chiseled features and sandy-brown hair—hair that wasn’t even thinking about receding yet. And the way smiles found his mouth in a reluctant sort of way, as if smiles and Gus Claymore were uneasy friends. And his eyes… a deep brown with a tinge of sadness.
She gave herself a mental shake. Looks aside, under the circumstances she supposed he was only doing what would be expected of any decent human in that situation. Maybe. On the other hand, no. She could think of a handful of men right off the top of her head who would have made a quick exit to stage right at the mere sight of a complication like a lost baby. And he hadn’t strong-armed her into calling the sheriff. Not at all, even though she suspected he disagreed with her choice. She had to give him props for that.
Not for the first time tonight, she wondered about Eloise’s mother. Where was she? Were they divorced? Had he always had custody of Eloise? Raised her on his own? And how did his brother Luke and that other woman named Rebecca figure into their living arrangement? Eloise had referred to her as Rebecca , not Mom or Dad’s girlfriend . But she had seen the woman once or twice picking up Eloise. She was maybe in her late thirties, blonde, pretty and definitely in charge when it came to Eloise.
The baby stirred and blinked up at her.
Cami smiled. “Well, hello,” she murmured, leaning over her. “Good morning.” She picked her up and tucked her against her shoulder.
Lolly bunched up against her, then stretched.
“I guess we might as well call it for this night. Are you hungry? Let’s go get you changed and get something to eat. What d’ya say?”
Downstairs, Cami found her mother already making coffee with Saturday morning cinnamon rolls in the oven.
The sweet fragrance made Cami’s stomach growl. “Oh, that smells so good.”
Wiping down the island countertop, Sarah grinned. “I figured you’d need a little sweet fortification after the night you had.”
“You heard?”
“Pretty sure the whole house heard.”
She groaned. “Shay and Ryan, too?”
“Well, it’s only one night. We can survive that. It is only for one night, right?”
Cami shrugged and reached for the bottle fixings. “Probably. I mean, sure. Most likely.”
“That sounds a little less certain than yes .” She reached for the baby and Cami handed her over to free her hands up for the bottle.
After mixing the formula together, Cami popped it in thebottle warmer. “I’m just trying to figure out what’s the right thing to do here. What if the mother comes back? What if she changed her mind and she shows up today? Then what? I’ve already given the baby up to the system and maybe she never gets her back?”
“But none of that is up to you, Cami. It was the mother’s choice to leave her, not yours.”
“You’re saying I should just… brush my hands together and let the pieces fall where they may?”
“I’m saying there are protocols for this sort of thing. For a reason.”
“I know. And on Monday, I’ll… probably… call the powers that be and turn her over. I mean, I’m the last person who’s ready for a responsibility like… like her.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” Sarah allowed, staring down at the child in her arms. “She is pretty adorable, isn’t she?”
Cami arched a brow. “Oh, what’s that?”
Lolly grabbed her mother’s fingers in her tiny fist and clung tight.
Sarah’s words devolved into baby talk. “Oh, yes, you are. Yes, you are pretty adorable.”
Cami tested the bottle temperature on her wrist and handed it to her mother with a hopeful look.
“What? You want me to feed her?” She grinned and snatched the bottle out of Cami’s hands. “Well, we’ll just have to feed you then, won’t we? Yes, we will. Because babies need to eat. All the time. Yes, they do.”
Ryan wandered into the kitchen, fully dressed for the cold outside, still rubbing his eyes. “Is that cinnamon buns I smell?”
“Yes, dear,” Sarah said. “And by the time you’re done with the horses, they’ll be here waiting for you.”
He moaned, obviously hungry as he grabbed his coat off the rack near the door. “Starving.”
“That’s what the horses are thinking right about now, too.” She laughed, and Cami knew Sarah loved teasing him. Ryan never needed prodding to take care of the animals, despite the cold and the early hour. Today’s temperatures would mean breaking the ice on the water troughs as well as feeding the stabled horses. “Uncle Liam’s already out feeding the cattle.”
Cami glanced out the window. There was little snow yet, but the landscape looked like a tundra with an icy wind scuttling across the open pasture. Brrr.
She thought of Lolly’s mother and wondered where she was right now and if she was somewhere warm and safe.
“How’s the baby?” Ryan asked, taking a peek as he wrapped a scarf around his neck. “She staying or going?”
A man of few words, he got right to the point.
Sarah and Cami both spoke at once.
“Going.”
“Staying.”
Cami shot a look at Sarah. “I mean for today… then who knows?”
At this Ryan lifted a sardonic brow. “Somebody better figure it out.” He headed out into the cold, shutting the door behind him.
The chill invaded the warm kitchen for a moment.
“He isn’t wrong about that.” Sarah sighed, feeding the baby in her favorite chair near the window. “So, what is your plan? If you mean to not turn her in, that is.”
“I didn’t say that I wouldn’t.” Cami dipped her finger into the icing waiting on the cinnamon buns and popped it in her mouth. “Hey. Didn’t Izzy volunteer as a child advocate in the Dallas courts before she met Will?”
“That’s right. She did. So?”
“So maybe she’d have a good take on what I should do here.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to find Lolly’s mother and find out why she felt she had to do this. Help her.”
“Help her? You don’t even know who she is.”
“I don’t. At least I don’t yet. But she knew me. Somehow.”
Sarah stared down at the baby who was now milk-drunk and nearly falling asleep. “Could she have been one of your students?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’d hate to think that one of my students could end up this desperate.”
“Izzy is coming over later this morning to go over decorations for their wedding.”
Which was happening, Cami remembered, two weeks from today.
Sarah went on. “Maybe she’ll have some insight about little Lolly here.”
Cami nodded. “Maybe. Mom, I hate to ask this, but I left my car at the church last night and I need to go pick it up. Could you watch her after I put her down for a nap if I can get Shay to drive me in?”
“Oh, I think we can manage.” She grinned at Lolly. “Can’t we? Yes, we can…”
Cami smiled. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who was smitten.