Chapter Seven
G us, Eloise, and Luke stood in the cold at the Hardesty’s front door holding bottles of wine and a basket full of hot chocolate and marshmallows. His heart skipped a little beat at the sight of her as she opened the door, looking just as pretty as she had in his mind.
“You’re just in time!” she said, welcoming them into the warmth of the house. “Please, come inside. It’s freezing out there!”
She air-kissed Gus on both cheeks in welcome and did the same to Luke who grinned widely.
“It was real nice of you to invite me. Us. ” Luke’s gaze scoured the high-ceilinged room with its rough-hewn beams and the fire crackling in the fireplace. There was Christmas music playing, and he seemed to inhale the fragrance of what Sarah had cooking in the oven. “I do a lot of cooking, but nothing I make smells that good.”
“Roast. Mashed potatoes, gravy—”
Luke grinned at Gus, taking in the Christmas decorations and the two noble fir trees that were already up in the high-ceilinged great room, awaiting decorations and Luke leaned down to Ella. “Now this is how Christmas is done, Jyn-gerbread.”
“Oh, we’re only halfway done,” Cami told him. “We haven’t even gotten to the lights outside yet.”
Eloise looked excited and shy at once. “Where’s Lolly?”
“She’s right over there, overseeing all the fun.” Cami showed her the little bouncy seat that Lolly was sitting in, watching the roomful of people in fascination. Her little fists were in the air as Ella leaned down and slipped her fingers around Lolly’s. It was probably just gas, Gus thought, but it seemed like the baby actually smiled at Eloise.
Sarah and Eloise soon went to work completing the popcorn string Sarah had been working on all afternoon while the rest of them spread out with ornaments and lights.
They worked as teams, hanging ornaments on the two trees that bracketed the crackling fireplace. Though he and Ella had gotten Christmas trees over the years, most of them were countertop versions or smallish trees that fit into their current living situation. Most often it was an apartment.
But this… this warm, cozy home, filled with the sights and smells of Christmas, filled with family and laughter—this was something almost foreign to him now. Surely foreign to Luke as well, since his growing up never included family at all. Not until Lissa.
Shay and her boyfriend, Cooper Lane, and Shay’s son, Ryan, were all part of the decorating crew. Cooper’s father, Ray Lane was clearly there with Sarah, who made no secret of her feelings for him whenever he passed her—never without a look or the brush of a hand. Gus had met Ray several times this fall when Ray and Cooper were staying out at the Hard Eight. Ray had finished a round of cancer treatment recently and was looking good and healthy. But Gus suspected his good health had a lot to do with Sarah and this family.
Liam’s oldest brother, Will was up on a ladder adding tree toppers while his fiancée, Izzy, was in the kitchen, taking something that smelled suspiciously like gingerbread out of the oven. He’d met Will and Izzy here on the ranch a few months ago while treating one of the Hard Eight’s ranch horses, and they’d invited him, Luke, and Eloise to their upcoming nuptials here on the ranch. He liked Will a lot and several times, he, Liam and Will had bonded over beers at the Graff Hotel bar.
As he settled into the decorating, he couldn’t help but think how the Hardestys were all so different from one another. He and Liam had become friends after he’d delivered a difficult calf alive from one of their cows who was on the brink of losing both the calf and her life. The way Liam talked about his family—Cami in particular—reminded him that he’d always wondered what a big family like this one would be like. A family where there was laughter and opinions and forgiveness. He was the closest Luke had ever come to family and the thought of losing him to geography made his chest ache.
As the tree filled with ornaments, Cami handed Eloise a box filled with candy canes once she and Sarah had finished the last of the popcorn strings. “It’s a tradition to put these on the tree, but I won’t tell if you eat one while you’re decorating.”
“Just one,” Gus warned with a smile.
As he and Cami watched Ella warm to the task of hanging candy canes on the trees, Lolly started to cry. Immediately, Cami, Sarah, and Liam surrounded the baby bouncer, arguing about who would get to pick her up. Cami won, and cuddled Lolly against her shoulder.
“Lolly has stumbled upon an embarrassment of riches here in the parenting department,” Cami said to Gus, “with everyone wanting to love on her. I hope that helps a little, considering what she’s lost.”
Gus nodded. “Must be why her mother chose you. She must have known you and your family would take good care of her.”
“Do you want to hold her?”
“Oh,” he said, “No, I don’t have to—”
“C’mon. You know you want to.” She held the baby out to him.
Gus reached for her and pulled her up against his shoulder like the pro he was, rocking his hips and rubbing her little back.
He sent Cami a little smile. “I almost forgot how good this feels.”
“You are a natural, Dr. Claymore.”
He inhaled Lolly’s sweet baby scent. “You never think you’ll miss all the late nights when you walked like this for hours with them, but…”
Cami held Lolly’s little foot. “I can imagine you kind of do.”
“Yeah. It goes by quick.”
“I guess,” Cami said, “it has to, or parents would expire of sleep deprivation.”
“You do look a little tired. Are you getting any sleep at all?”
“Some. I am tired, but she’s worth it. She’s such a good baby. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to part with her. Speaking of which, look what I found.” She walked over to the coffee table where one of Ryan’s high-school yearbooks lay. She opened the page she had marked and pointed to a photo of a pretty young girl with long, blonde hair who looked for all the world, like Lolly. The name beside the photo read T ARA H OWARD .
“Wow.” Gus stared at the photo. “You found her. Do you know her?”
Cami shook her head. “Not at all. She was never my student, that’s for sure. But I started thinking, what if she had a younger sibling who had me as a teacher? The name though isn’t familiar. I went back through my old class rosters and couldn’t find a Howard in any of them. I may be trying to walk down the wrong road.”
“You said you did some tutoring. Any of those students you remember?”
“No. I went through those, too. Maybe she just randomly chose me because I was directing the pageant?”
Liam leaned in. “And she thought, Oh there’s a kind, overcommitted, overachiever who can’t say no. Surely she’ll take the baby ,” he teased. “She kind of nailed you there, li’l sis.”
Cami burned a look at him, but Shay said, “He isn’t wrong.”
“Stop you two,” Sarah scolded, shaking her head.
Izzy, who was standing nearby, overheard their conversation. “What if the birth mother goes by a different last name than a younger sibling, who actually knew you? What if Lolly’s mom is a stepsibling or she’s even married?”
“What if—” Luke said as he passed by with a glass blown angel in his hands “She was in the system?”
“What system?” Cooper asked, joining in the conversation.
“The foster care system,” Luke answered. “Kids don’t take on their foster parents’ names. They keep their own. Often, it’s their only real possession, unless they’re adopted.”
Cami blinked. “I hadn’t thought of that. If she was a foster child…”
“Did you have any foster kids in your classes?” Gus asked as Shay held her arms out for the baby.
He handed her over.
“I don’t think so. I feel like I’d remember that.”
“Just from my work in the Dallas courts, I know that kids aging out of the foster care system tend to have a high percentage of unplanned pregnancies. And only a small percent ever make it to college.”
“Makes sense,” Shay said quietly.
Gus glanced at her son, Ryan, who was distracted by his earbuds as he decorated the tree. Ryan had been unplanned, according to Liam, but very wanted nevertheless by Shay. And now that Cooper and Shay were together, it would surprise no one if he actually adopted Ryan.
Sarah paused hanging the popcorn string. “Cami, didn’t you have one of the Simon girls in your class? A couple of years ago? She was having some trouble as I recall.”
“Yes, Adriana Simon. Of course, she was one of my students a few years ago. She was a darling girl. I tutored her in reading. She had a lot of issues in the group setting. Stomach aches. Anxiety. Why do you ask about her?”
“I remember you spent a lot of extra time with her. After school hours, helping her with reading. She adored you. I remember that gift she gave you at the end of the year. That beautiful origami flower she made for you.”
Cami smiled. “I still have that flower.”
“Since the closest child services department is up in Billings, there aren’t too many foster families here in Marietta. But the Simons foster,” Sarah said. “Adriana is their natural daughter along with several others, but I have heard they’ve also had quite a few foster children in their home over the years. What if this girl Tara was one of them?”
Gus met Cami’s look. It couldn’t be that easy, could it? Could Tara have been one of the Simons’s foster children? Tara might have known about Cami through Adriana.
“We’re probably grasping at straws here,” Shay said, rocking the baby as Cooper ran a hand over the baby’s head as she bobbled in Shay’s arms.
“But that was a few years ago,” Cami said. “Adriana must be in middle school by now, with Ryan. Ryan? Ryan? ”
He pulled his earbuds out. “What?”
“Do you know Adriana Simons?”
“I did. They moved away,” he said, hanging a bulb on a high branch. “Last year, I think. I heard her father got a job up in Missoula. At the university.”
“You don’t happen to know if she had an older foster sister named Tara?”
He shrugged and shook his head, slipping his earbuds back in.
Gus met Cami’s look of frustration. One step forward and two back. “We don’t even know that she was related to them. At all. But at least it’s somewhere to start. If they did foster her, maybe they know where she is.”
She nodded. “Or why she was here. Alone.”
“Do you think they ever adopted her? The Simons?”
“No idea,” Cami said, “but if not, she must have been close to aging out of the system. I’ll try to track them down tomorrow. Obviously, figuring this out isn’t going to be a straight line. But enough about Tara. I’m sorry for sidelining our decorating! Please. Let’s just enjoy the evening and get these trees done!”
“Good,” Sarah said. “Dinner’s almost ready. Oh, that tree is looking so beautiful.”
Indeed, Gus thought, many hands made quick work of tree trimming. One tree had all the popcorn strings and family ornaments on it, one with relics of Hardesty Christmases past and the other was a collection of hand-blown glass animals, in all different shapes and sizes, representing the ranch and everything on it. There were cattle and horses, chickens and goats, cats, dogs, and even rabbits. All interspersed with delicate ribbon that glistened in the white LED lights.
Eloise was in heaven, finishing up hanging her candy canes as the puppies followed her around the trees, occasionally knocking ornaments off with their wagging tails. She would brush their faces with a gentle pet before rehanging the ornament and then gently lecture them about their miscreant tails.
He’d thought about getting her a dog as a companion for years and had put it off because of their constant traveling. But dogs were technically as portable as children, and he’d put it off for long enough. This Christmas was as good a time as any to find a pup for her. And Lissa would approve. Dog lover that she was, she’d always planned on having a few dogs to raise alongside what should have been their big family. Now, down to just the two of them. Three if he counted Luke.
The older she got the more Ella looked like her mother. Only recently had that hot, quick sting when he noticed stopped happening. In fact, he was grateful now that so much of her mama still lived inside Ella.
“If I were to guess,” Cami said with a warm smile, “I’d say you were thinking about stealing one of those candy canes.”
“You think anyone would care?” She shook her head as he placed the last ornament in his hand on the tree—a clear, glass-blown goose. “Actually, I was just pondering the perfect present for Ella this year.”
“And did you decide on one?”
“Nailing it is not easy. You know how it is with kids. And after church today, she wanted to go see Santa at the Graff.”
Cami tilted a look at him. “But… really ? I thought—”
“No, you’re right. She doesn’t believe. She went for the sake of a friend who does. But the odd thing was what happened once she got there. She actually told the old coot what she wanted. She whispered something in his ear about her Christmas wish, even though she advised him in no uncertain terms that she knew he wasn’t real.”
“Huh. I know that Santa. Don Knowles. He’s really good. He’s been there at the Graff for years.”
“Good, as in authentic-looking?”
“Real beard, twinkle in his eye,” she said. “All that.”
“Yeah. That’s the one.” A disconcerted frown creased his brow. “He actually winked at me.”
“Really?” Cami laughed. “And after Ella told him what she wanted? I don’t suppose he shared that information with you?”
“No. No, I have zero idea what she told him. Some deep, between-them secret. I mean, is that even ethical? And she refused to tell me.”
“But you think you’ve figured out what it was she wished for? I mean, I don’t mean to brag, but I do have a mainline to what little girls her age are playing with these days.” She grinned. “Teacher.”
“Maybe. I think I know something she’d like. Something she’s been asking for a long time.” He turned to look at Ella, who was having a deep conversation with both Lolly and Pippa.
Sarah called them all to dinner then and the group started moving in the direction of the dining room and the long table laden with food.
Cami leaned conspiratorially closer. “TBC. To be continued. Whatever it is, if it’s from you, I’m sure she’ll love it.”
They gathered for a long, unhurried meal that was every bit as delicious as it smelled. Smoked, roasted beef, something called Yorkshire pudding that he’d never had before, mashed potatoes and gravy; vegetables that Sarah claimed to have grown in her kitchen garden last summer. And to top it all off, there was a cinnamony apple crisp and gingerbread cookies for dessert.
The dinner conversation had ranged widely from Izzy and Will’s upcoming wedding to Ray’s plans to move in with Sarah when Will and Izzy would take over his old ranch house, to the upcoming dress rehearsal for the pageant Cami was directing. And the grown-ups included Ella in the conversation, asking her opinion on the angel costume she would be wearing.
Gus watched her interact with the Hardestys. It felt easy. It was a rare thing she felt this comfortable with strangers. Sitting beside her, Ryan entertained her with the adventures of the puppies and the trouble they inevitably found themselves in.
When everyone had finished eating, Gus moaned, polishing off the last bite of apple crisp. “Let me guess, Sarah. You’re going to be doing the cooking for this guest ranch enterprise here on the Hard Eight this spring. I can’t imagine you’d find a better cook.”
She laughed. “No. A cook is all I am—self-taught at that. And honestly, I love doing it for my family and friends, but as a full-time job? No. ” She took Ray’s hand, and he rubbed his thumb over hers. “I have other plans. But we’re looking to hire a real chef to create and execute gourmet menus for the guests. If you hear of any.”
“We’ve got some feelers out,” Will told them. “Just a matter of time before the right one comes along.”
“Well, you’ve set the bar high.” Luke sighed with contentment.
“Thank you. But we’re so happy that you all could join us tonight. Even though we’re not quite finished.”
The Hardesty siblings seemed to be winking at each other with everyone else in the dark like he was.
Luke shot a questioning look at Gus. “More trees?”
Shay laughed. “No. A surprise for the uninitiated. A good surprise, I hope. And after, we can indulge in some of that yummy hot cocoa you brought us.”
“I’m sensing some outdoor yardwork coming our way,” Luke said, half-joking. “Firewood chopping? I’m in.”
“Nope. Everyone, get your coats on,” Sarah said, laughing. “I’m staying behind with Lolly because it’s a little too chilly for her, but the rest of you head on out to the big barn.”
Gus couldn’t imagine what was in store for them, but whatever it was, Ella was excited about it. She was dressed and had run out in front of the rest of them. It wasn’t until they had walked around the corner of the house that he saw what the Hardestys were up to. Parked in front of the large barn was a hay-filled flatbed wagon with fat tires hooked up to a pair of draft horses whose steamy breath circled their heads as they waited for the riders. One of their ranch workers stood beside the team he’d readied, looking quite pleased with himself.
Ella’s reaction was priceless. She couldn’t stop dancing in circles with little high-pitched squeals of happiness. “A hayride! Daddy, look!”
He laughed, thrilled to see her delight. “Wow!” Luckily there was only a dusting of snow left on the ground, nothing those fat tires couldn’t cut through on the gravel road that wound through the ranch.
Cami bumped his arm playfully. “Bet you didn’t imagine we’d force you into the cold night air as part of our Christmas ritual, did you?”
He turned up the collar of his sheepskin coat, his own breath steamy when he spoke. “Small price to pay for the look on her face,” he teased. “Thank you.”
She nodded. “I can’t think of any little girls who would turn down a chance for a hayride in the dead of Montana winter with these two beauties.” She patted the nose of the lighter of the two workhorses harnessed to the wagon.
Gus smoothed a hand down the nose of one of the horses he’d become acquainted with earlier last summer whose long harnesses were entwined with tiny, battery-operated lights and jingle bells. “They’ll earn their keep tonight for sure. And Ella won’t be forgetting this night any time soon.”
For her part, Cami felt Gus’s grateful smile down to her toes. She was thrilled watching Ella’s face light up at the sight of the wagon and all the Christmas trimmings and was glad they’d come. The feeling that something was happening between them seemed evidenced by the happiness she felt just being around him. Was she just crushing on him? Ugh. Wasn’t she too old for that?
Or was it something more?
“Non-Hardestys up first,” Liam shouted. “We’ve got blankets!”
It had been ages since she’d felt this thrumming attraction to a man she really hardly knew. Her cheeks felt hot as he reached a hand down to help her into the hay wagon after Ella. He tugged her up effortlessly and she scooched in beside him on the other side of his daughter. They huddled under the same blanket as the others got up and settled, and the driver gave the jangly harness a shake, signaling the horses to go.
As a family, they’d done this ride dozens of times, every holiday season. It had been a tradition her mother had insisted upon, and it would become a fixture event of their ranch’s guest experience as well. Because who could resist a winter hayride, really? With the clip-clop of hooves, and the jangle of bells under the starry Montana sky, awash with pinpricks of light and a half-moon, the air smelled sweet and held the breath of the Absarokas. Even in the dark, the mountains in the distance shone like silvery outlines in the moonlight where snow crested their peaks.
The driver had two small LED lanterns attached to the sides of the wagon to light their way, but the night was clear enough to see the road that wound up between their pastures toward the round barn and back again. In deeper snow, they had a smaller sleigh, but the wagon fit more people and felt perfect for tonight.
“I gotta admit,” Gus said quietly leaning toward her, “even as a vet, I’ve never done a hayride in my life.”
“No? You’ve been missing out. I hope this will be the first of many.” More than just polite words, she truly hoped he’d stay in Marietta. Not only because she found herself wanting to get to know him better, but for Ella’s sake as well. She seemed like she was just beginning to blossom here.
But from the expression on his face, she wondered if he meant to stay in Marietta much longer. Dr. Alden, for whom Gus was standing in, had to be nearly recovered from his knee replacement surgery by now. But he must be almost seventy and nearing retirement. Then again, Alden was a salt-of-the-earth kind of guy who subscribed to the idle-hands theory and all that. A widower himself, the doc had been a staple in Marietta forever and might just keep working for another twenty years despite his bad knees.
The wagon rolled along the road and the others on the ride talked quietly amongst themselves and Ella and Luke were busy pointing out constellations in the night sky.
“I guess you’ve finished remodeling that barn,” Gus said quietly to her. “I remember the raw state of it last summer. It must have been quite the job.”
“Truthfully, Will and Liam have slaved over it, but we did bring in some outside contractors for the finish-work. And it was worth all the effort. That’s where Izzy and Will are getting married next week, you know.”
He nodded. “I’m invited, apparently.”
She tried and failed to contain her smile. “And… are you coming?”
“Barring any four-legged medical emergencies, floods, or… super-volcano eruptions.”
She laughed. “Oh, dear. We’re probably safe on at least two counts. You’ll have to save me a dance.”
“I don’t… I haven’t really danced in years.”
Cami stuck a piece of hay in her mouth, grinning at him. Okay, maybe she was flirting a little. But hey. It was a hayride! “You haven’t danced in years? Which is why you absolutely should at the wedding. Dancing releases endorphins, which is clearly the best reason to do it.”
“Endorphins, huh?”
She nodded, sprawling backward on the hay to stare up at the night sky. “I don’t know about you, but I can use all the endorphins I can get.”
He rolled back beside her, staring up at the stars. “How would your plus-one feel about parting ways for a dance with me?”
“My—Oh, no. I’m a plus-zero for the night. I’m not dating anyone. I don’t date. Honestly, who would put up with me? Between my teaching, the ranch business, the pageant, and now the baby…”
“I find that hard to believe.”
She felt her cheeks color a little more in the cold. “Believe it. Anyway. I’m content. Mostly,” she added. “Lolly coming into my life, though, does put things into perspective.”
“Yeah? In what way?”
“I guess… I’m feeling grateful for what I have. What we can give her. What her mama clearly didn’t have.”
He gave a little snort of agreement. “I know that feeling. Kids do keep you grounded.”
“Oh, they do. And I know twenty-eight third graders who prove that theory to me daily.”
And simultaneously left her feeling wanting.
It wasn’t so much that she felt something was missing from her life. Maybe it was just FOMO. The classic fear of missing out. Watching first Will, then Shay, pair off one at a time and seem ridiculously happy had made her acknowledge that there might be more to life than what she had settled for. More than simply running from one project to the next without allowing herself time to feel her feelings. To explore what would make her really happy. To consider her loneliness.
And she was. Lonely. For companionship, for the kind of love she’d always imagined might be out there for her. Maybe that was why she’d so eagerly, and without thinking too much about the consequences, taken Lolly in. Maybe Lolly was the missing piece in her puzzle, or at the very least, a missing piece.
She glanced over at Gus who was intently watching the night sky, an arm crooked under his head. A twist of longing wound through her. Or maybe it was just lust. Maybe there were other missing pieces she hadn’t considered for a long, long time.
They reached the round barn—lit up with white Christmas lights that they might just leave up all year-round they looked so pretty—then turned the team back toward the house. By then, they were all getting a little cold, and most had scooted close together for warmth. She and Gus were sharing a generous, soft blanket and she could feel his heat up against her side.
“You never did say if you would save me that dance,” she reminded him. “At the wedding.”
“ Ah-hh. And I was this close to a clean getaway.” He turned and smiled at her. “Yes. Absolutely. If you don’t mind the peril facing your toes—”
“Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad.”
He laughed. “I have witnesses.”
“ Hmph. We’ll see, Dr. Claymore. But anyone who handles horses and cattle the way you do every day can surely find his way around a dance floor.”
“We’ll see. But then, I also have a favor to ask you.”
She perked up. “A favor? Ask away!”
He leaned closer and for just a moment, she thought he meant to… kiss her. But instead, he said very quietly, “Remember that gift for Ella I was mentioning earlier?”
She nodded. “The one you just figured out?”
“That’s it. I could use some help picking one out.”
She glanced at Ella who was completely distracted by the stars. “One what?”
“One of… what I want to get her.” He held his forefinger to his lips. “I could use your opinion. I know you’re busy, but then at least I’d have the chance to buy you dinner to thank you for tonight. It really means the world to Ella coming here like this. And me.”
She felt the need to clarify. “So… not a date .”
His dark brows drew together. “You know, even though that sounds like a trick question, I will venture into that dangerous territory to say, yeah, it’s pretty much an invitation for a date. Unless you’re specifically opposed. You. Me. Dinner and a secret Christmas gift?”
She laughed. “I’d, uh, have to check my schedule.”
“Sure.”
“How’s Wednesday?”
“Done,” he said. “Barring any four-legged medical—”
“Emergencies, floods, or super-volcano eruptions,” she finished. “I know. And pageant disasters or Lolly complications on my end. But let’s just call it a friendly get-together.”
“Deal.”
She shivered, snuggling a tiny bit closer and tugging the blanket up toward her cold nose. “You know, I don’t think the insulation value of hay is all it’s cracked up to be.”
He lifted his arm, inviting her closer. She obliged and he closed his arm around her shoulder.
As the sound of the horse’s hooves against the frozen ground lulled them into quiet, they listened to Ryan and Ella chat about the stars, pointing at a shooting star that fell into the universe hundreds of light-years away. Perhaps that star even fell thousands of years ago and just now they were able to catch sight of it. In the blink of an eye, it came and went, and Ella and Ryan saw it together. She and Gus saw it, too.
If she were the kind of person who believed in signs— she wasn’t —she might have imagined that seeing that shooting star together meant something deeper. That it somehow drew them all together or served as some kind of portent for the future. But, alas, shooting stars were just shooting stars and it meant no more to their lives than the owl hooting across the valley right now, or the way the snow glittered in the moonlight, dusting the boulders that edged the ridge.
But she would take this snuggle for exactly what it was—a kindness from a kind man.