Chapter 2
We’ll Get Out of Your Hair
(Nicole)
A deep, stern voice sounded behind me. I turn around to see… Oh sweet Jesus! Who is this crazy ass white man? He’s either going to get us killed or kill us. He grabs my arm and pulls me out of line, and I think to myself, I know the fuck he did not just grab my arm! He’s a big guy, but I’m not going out without a fight. It is my God-given right to protect my child and I will, by any means necessary.
Then, he whispers that he can help me as he leads me past the other people waiting, straight to the front desk. All the while, I’m thinking he must be on drugs. He thinks he can help me? God, please don’t let us die today. This lady is looking at him like the nutcase he is. Seriously, look lady, I really don’t know him. Please don’t call the guards over here. I can’t take another run in with them today.
Just then, a well-dressed, beautiful Black woman appears who looks like she knows him. Oh, thank you, Lord! I can’t believe we made it past the mob and the front desk. Who is this white man? He finally takes off his mask and introduces himself.
I burst out in tears at the thought of how close I came to losing my child earlier. This day just keeps getting better and better. There was a time in my life I would have never let anyone see me cry. I lost it twice today in front of complete strangers. Then, he promises me that no one will take Zion away from me. Now might be a good time to tell him I won’t be staying with him long enough for him to fulfill his promise. After taking off our jackets, I turn back to face him.
Well, hello, Mr. Liam Sinclair! God forgive me, I know this isn’t the right time, but you know I’ve always had a thing for light-bright Black boys and white boys. And this white boy is very easy on the eyes! I can’t remember the last time I saw a white man this clean. Oh, hold up, did he just check me out?
“Right this way,” he says.
“Lead the way.”
“This is one of the bedrooms. I had to fix it up a bit, make it more practical. I’ll use this bathroom and sleep out front on the sofa. That way, I can guard the door. This is the kitchen area, but we won’t be here long enough to use it.”
We walk across the dining room and through the large living room and enter the master bedroom where he says Zion and I will stay tonight. “Please, make yourselves at home. I’m going to go look for my buddy and I’ll have dinner brought up.”
“Ok, thank you again, Liam. I promise we won’t be any trouble and we’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”
“Out of my hair? What exactly is that supposed to mean?”
“Uh, it’s a fairly known expression,”
I say sarcastically. Zion tugs my arm for me to follow him into the room.
“I know what the expression means. What I’m confused about is where exactly do you think you’re going? How far do you think the two of you are going to get?”
Pulling Zion farther behind me and slightly closing the bedroom door between Liam and me, I respond with, “Just because you’re helping us get out of the cold for tonight, doesn’t mean I’m following you anywhere.”
His gaze intensifies, not with anger, but with concern. He lowers his voice, seemingly being sensitive about Zion overhearing his words. “Look, I know we don’t know each other, and I have to earn your trust, but you need to believe me when I tell you that I will never touch you or your son in a manner that is not respectful. I have witnessed women being raped in these streets and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, not knowing if the two of you are safe or not, dead or alive. I have somewhere safe where you both can relax and not look over your shoulders.”
“I’m sorry, Liam. I know you mean well, but you expect what from me? I just lost my family today, and I have every intention of finding them as soon as I can.”
His expression turns very dark, sad really. What’s that look? I wonder if I’m being too aggressive in my protest, so I ask him, “Liam, are you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Look, I know you want to find your family, but I can help you do that in a safe way. Just think about it. I’m going out. Don’t open the door for anyone.”
I close and lock the bedroom door and hear the suite door close. I turn to Zion, looking at him. I scoop him up and toss him on to the king-sized bed. He giggles uncontrollably. Yes, I want to hug him and be serious, but I haven’t seen my seven-year-old smile in days. This is hard on me, and I’m an adult. After several minutes of joking, jumping on the bed, and giggling, I grab him into the tightest embrace he’s ever had. My voice breaks a little as I try to speak. “Zion, you know I love you, right?”
“Yes, Mommy. And Mommy, you know you’re still my favorite person, right?”
“Yes, baby, I know, and you’re mine. Listen, I know things are really scary right now, but I want you to know that you’re not scared by yourself; I’m scared too. The thing that scares me the most is losing you. I know it hurt today when we lost Tee-tee and your cousins. Auntie Renee’s not just my sister, she’s my best friend, after you. I miss all of them so much.”
“I know Mommy.”
He pauses and then continues, “Mommy, who is the man that’s helping us? Can he really help us find Tee-tee? He’s white like me. I like him.”
“His name is Mr. Sinclair. I don’t know if he can help us find Tee-tee. And for the millionth time, you’re not white!”
I tickle him and we giggle. “Why do you like him?”
“He doesn’t let people push him around. And Mom, if I’m not white, they would have let us go with Tee-tee.”
Wow, this kid always knows how to shut me up. “First of all, you know I hate it when you call me mom, makes me feel like my baby is growing up too fast. Come on, I think it’s time for a bath and maybe when Mr. Sinclair comes back, we can ask him if we can have ice cream for dessert. What do you think about that?”
He squeals, “YES!”