42. Bonding
Jolie tossed and turned all night. Aside from feeling like rocks were in her head dragging her down, she was replaying the whole conversation with Adrik over and over again and only getting angrier. Jolie wasn”t the type of woman to be under anyone”s thumb. She may be easy-going and not much of a fighter, but she”d never wear chains, not after Vincent.
Her phone dinged, and she clicked it on, hoping it was Adrik with a poetic apology. Depressingly, it was her mother. ”It wasn”t that bad of an ask, sweetheart.”
Jolie sneered and buried her head into her pillow.
It wasn”t the request itself. Yeah, she shouldn”t allow other guys to touch her when dating someone. But it was the way he did it. ”Your actions weren”t appropriate.” Saying it like she should be ashamed of herself for having fun. It wasn”t right. She was a grown woman. She could have whatever kind of fun she wanted.
What other ways would he try to suppress her? Would he want her to change how she dressed, acted, and talked to people? By the end, nothing will be left of her but a shadow.
Tae-Tae rubbed his head against her, trying to pull her out of her despair. Jolie lifted her head, and he smashed his forehead against her cheek. It brought a quick smile to her, and she relaxed as she petted him.
”Am I overreacting?” she asked him.
A meow came in reply.
”I just see it. Like with Vincent. Do you remember Vincent? I forgot who I was for so long.” Memories of her time five years ago resurfaced. She wore the clothes he wanted: black emo style, with black lipstick and nail polish. She pretended to like Slipknot and Korn. The only thing she wouldn”t do that he tried hard was drink and smoke. It was one of the reasons she eventually gave in to sex. Something had to give so she didn”t lose him.
”But I am older now,” she whispered to herself. ”I love who I am. I don”t have to change.”
The sunflower dress he bought her lay on the back of the chair. Adrik brought her clothes that she would love. He hadn”t shunned her for wearing that halter dress to his mother”s party. He hadn”t reprimanded her for laughing and getting attention from all his family. And he wasn”t even pressuring her to have sex with him. On top of it, he met her mother without being coerced.
Another beep and her mother wrote, ”Relationships are give and take. Vincent took everything you had to give, while he gave you nothing in return. Don”t let this one do that to you, and you won”t fall back into the same routine.”
Her mother knew her biggest fears. She shared everything with her, except that Adrik was in the Mafia. She wondered if her opinion would change. Jolie”s finger hovered over the ”M”, but she was too afraid that the moment she did, her mother”s support would fall away.
With renewed energy, Jolie faced the day. Tutoring Helina helped push out the fog of her brain and made her laugh. She was learning a few of Helina”s phases. Her Russian was okay, but she had a long way to go to get the proper accent. She hoped to surprise Adrik one day with the ability to talk to him in his native language.
Jolie bowed her head when Katia walked into the bedroom. All their progress as friends had dissolved, and now, Jolie couldn”t look at her without fear. But that fear was also tinged with resentment. She wanted to get back at the woman, but learning Katia”s weaknesses was hard. The woman was a closed book.
”You look like an injured puppy,” Katia mocked from across the bedroom, folding Helina”s clothes and putting them in the closet.
Jolie continued staring at Helina”s paperwork, helping her write letters. She clenched her hand around the bandage, the wound and fear still fresh. ”I don”t want to talk to you today.”
A giggle. ”Aww, I hurt your feelings.”
Jolie clenched her teeth but didn”t feed into her teasing.
The door popped open, and Jolie swung her head, expecting Adrik, but Alexei smiled back at her. She didn”t let her disappointment show. ”Hey.”
”Hi,” he greeted, glancing nervously at Katia before he continued, ”Helina, want to go swimming?”
The little girl jumped up from the chair. ”Yes!” A strain of Russian excitement barreled out of her mouth as she grabbed her bathing suit from the drawer and ran to the bathroom.
Jolie folded her arms. ”She”s got two hours left of work.”
”Join us.”
”I don”t swim.”
”Then, get a tan.”
Katia looked over her shoulder, and in Russian, taunted, ”I don”t think you”re the brother she wants.”
Alexei was quick to shoot back. ”I don”t think you”re someone anyone wants.”
Katia giggled. ”Good one.”
He rolled his eyes, and announced in English, speaking to Jolie, ”Adrik went to Miami for business. He won”t be back for a bit. Tonight is my only free day before I have to take on his responsibilities here. And I plan on having fun, since last night was a failure. So, come have fun with me.”
Katia questioned, ”And Gil? Where is he gallivanting today?”
Alexei changed his tone. ”Why?” he asked darkly. ”What does it matter where he is?”
Jolie flicked her eyes between them. She didn”t know what Alexei knew, but apparently, he had suspicions. It hit her then what Katia”s weakness might be. ”Is Gil okay?” she questioned for Katia. ”Is he with Adrik?”
Alexei hesitated, unsure why Jolie was asking, but she was innocent in Katia”s games. Helina emerged from the bathroom and ran out of the room, screaming Alexei”s name to hurry. Giving in, Alexei answered. ”He was sent to Puerto Rico for a job. Now, come on!”
He disappeared from the doorway, and Jolie turned her attention to Katia. She was still, her hands gripping the shirt. Instead of making Jolie feel powerful for finding Katia”s weakness, it made her pity the woman. Sometimes, being a sap for love was a character flaw.
Jolie approached slowly, unsure if she should say anything at all. ”Are you alright?”
The words spooked Katia into movement. ”I”m fine.”
The coldness annoyed Jolie, and she backed away, moving to her room, but she stopped. There were so many things in this life that were going to change Jolie, but having compassion wasn”t going to be one of them. ”If you need someone to talk to—”
”Ha,” Katia shoved a hanger into the closet before turning to her. ”Are you this dense on purpose? You”re one of those people that if a dog bites you, you make excuses for it.”
”Dogs have bad days like the rest of us,” Jolie defended.
Katia”s eyes widened, before her hands went through her hair. ”Oh, God. You”re hopeless.” Katia snatched up another shirt. ”The thing with Yakov and the FBI is off. I can”t trust you. Your foolishness is going to get me killed because it”s going to get you killed.” She spun on Jolie, approaching. ”Do you understand, girl? This isn”t a magic kingdom. You don”t get happy endings and sweet forgiveness. We don”t hope for the best and hug at the end of the night. This world you are invading is bloody, and violent, and scary. What are you trying to do here? What do you think you”ll get out of this? Love?” She scoffed. ”It”s not enough, Jolie. We”ll destroy you. So, please, get out. Run. Escape before you can”t anymore.”
Jolie backed away. The desperation in Katia”s face was too much, too pure, too uncharacteristic that it was terrifying. She locked the door to her bedroom and sank to the floor.
Jolie laid on a lounge chair in shorts and a tank top. It took her time to recover from Katia”s outburst, and she still felt shaken inside, but Helina had come to her room and begged her to come down. The sun was blazing, warming her, and the panic receded more every passing minute. On the pool deck, dozen men in shorts were drinking and laughing nearby. Women in string bikinis walked on high heels and strutted from one end of the pool to the other for no reason whatsoever other than to get attention. She felt completely out of place, like a nerd at a frat party. But Helina and Alexei played in the pool, and she forced her attention on them, even when her gaze drifted.
This was Adrik”s life. Men with guns exposed at their waist. Women showing off their bodies and getting their butts smacked by random strangers. Drugs lay on the table with children around. It was surreal, sitting here, knowing she wasn”t one of them.
”Run. Escape before you can”t anymore.”
Jolie appreciated Katia”s advice, but there was no walking away. She was already in the middle of the jungle. What she needed to do was get stronger, educate herself on the dangers, and learn how to navigate them. There was a point to this. Katia believed that love wasn”t enough, but love was the only reason to endure hardships. Love was the only reason to fight back.
A young man approached her. He was staring at her, and his eyes drifted down her body with obvious intent. She pulled her legs into her chest. ”Hey, I”m Trevor.” He sat beside her, holding a beer out to her.
”Trevor,” Alexei called from the pool.
They both turned their gaze toward Alexei, and with only a slight tick of his head, Trevor excused himself and left her alone. Jolie relaxed and let her legs fall back down. A soft smile on her lips as she thanked him. It hit her then why Alexei wasn”t with Adrik, considering they typically traveled together. Adrik made his brother stay behind to watch over her.
Her stomach filled with warmth. It was something so silly, something probably not worth a thought, but it meant something to her. Even angry, Adrik thought of her well-being. It was something Vincent had been incapable of. He left her on the side of the road once after he kicked her out of his car because he was pissed about something she said. She needed to stop comparing. Adrik was in a league all of his own.
A phone on top of Alexei”s shirt rang, and Jolie got up to hand it to him. He pushed himself out of the pool with his bad arm tucked into his stomach and sat on the edge, dangling his legs in. Jolie averted her eyes. There was no doubt that Alexei had a good body. Though currently there were terrible bruises, it didn”t hide the muscles in his arms. Alexei may not have a six-pack like Adrik, but it didn”t matter. He was thick, like a Viking. How these women weren”t flocking to his side, she didn”t know.
He”s more like a bear, Jolie thought, recalling Katia’s cat analogy.
Jolie leaned down, pretending to play with Helina, hoping to find out who was on the phone, but Alexei spoke in Russian, and nothing about what he said was familiar. Would Adrik ignore her till he returned? Her secret phone was in her pocket, with no messages. She wasn”t the kind of woman that sat in anger. She liked to get it out as soon as possible. But she doubted Adrik was that way.
A tap on her arm, and the phone waited for her. Jolie”s eyes widened, and she grabbed it. ”Hello?”
”Don”t say anything,” Adrik said. ”Only listen.” He waited for an ”okay,” but she was smart enough to stay silent. ”I”m dealing with coke heads in the south for a few days. Don”t do anything without telling Alexei. My father should stay away from you, but if he does anything, you let my brother know. And stay away from Katia. Give the phone back.”
Jolie”s brows knitted at his complete disregard. She wanted more from him; she wanted him to fix the ache in her chest, not make it worse. She numbly handed it over and sat staring at the water.
Alexei tossed the phone back on the chair and glanced at her nervously.
Jolie didn”t want him to feel obligated to talk to her, so she burst into conversation. ”You dated any of those girls?” It was a pathetic attempt to keep his attention off her.
His brows knitted in disgust, and he pointed to two girls. ”My cousins.” Then he pointed to two more. ”Cousins.” Three more. ”Wives of cousins.”
”Oh,” she whimpered, glancing toward them. They were beyond gorgeous and intimidating, but knowing they were family took the edge off a little.
”Most of them were at my mom”s party.”
Jolie bowed her head, embarrassed. There were a bunch of people, and they were fully clothed. She couldn”t possibly remember who was who.
Alexei fiddled with the water. ”I told you before I”m picky.”
”You”re young, gorgeous, and a millionaire. Didn”t think it would be a struggle.”
”Well, first, she”s got to be Russian, so that deletes like ninety-nine percent of the population.”
Jolie rolled her eyes. ”Of course, how could I forget.”
”And she can”t be family, obviously, so that takes out like half of the people I know. Then she has to be okay with drugs, guns, drunks, druggies, violence, strippers, and blood.”
Jolie nodded with wide eyes. ”That”s a lot.”
”Then she”d have to be cool with being alone eighty percent of our life because I”m always fucking busy. And when I”m out, I”m typically in the audience of”—he pointed to the nearly naked women—”that. So, if you know anyone—”
She laughed, hanging her head. When he put it that way, it didn’t sound like something Jolie would be good with. But it was something she would have to figure out. If she wanted to be in Adrik’s life than she would have to accept his life.
Alexei smiled. Her happiness caught him in a trance, and he stared at her longer than planned. He forced his eyes back to the water and brought up his brother. It was the only way to remind himself that she would never be his.
”You and Adrik are fighting, huh?”
Jolie sighed and shrugged. ”Yes. Everything you just pointed out is a struggle. I feel like we”re doomed.”
Alexei agreed silently. Not only did they have completely contrasting lifestyles, but their personalities were on opposite ends of the spectrum. It”s one of the reasons why there was a slim chance that Jolie would one day realize Alexei was more suited for her.
But that”s an asshole”s hope.
”Adrik”s had a tough life,” he began, glancing around them, ensuring no one could hear him. ”When we were little kids, my father was hard on me. I would take on the family, so he was merciless in training. I was beaten many times and was never allowed to fight back. It was to condition me to pain.”
”That sounds more like you had a tough life.”
Alexei yearned for her sympathy, but if he was a lesser man, he might have dived for more, but this wasn”t about him.
”When Adrik turned ten, he came between me and my father. He took on every beating. He took on every terrible thing my father could invent. He even took on the family so I wouldn”t have to. Adrik is one of the most loyal, dedicated, amazing men I know.”
Jolie loved how much Adrik cared for his brother. It”s the type of care she knew he was capable of, and wanted for herself.
Alexei held up a hand. ”But,” he added, ”he’s not the best boyfriend. He went through girls like crazy in high school. You can only imagine when my dad told him he was getting married. But like I said, he”s loyal and dedicated, so he swallowed all his doubts and completely gave in to Katia. And he was so good to her.” Alexei shook his head, thinking back to it. ”She wanted for nothing. He changed, became a good man, and gave her his full attention. And she fucking destroyed him.”
The words came out bitterly, as if Adrik”s pain was his. ”Katia told me.” Katia should have ended things with her boyfriend or at least told Adrik what was going on. He might have understood.
Just like how I need to tell Adrik what”s happened with Mally. Jolie bowed her head, feeling the small bubbling guilt in her chest.
Alexei continued his story. ”Adrik went right back to the guy he was before and got a little colder. Waiting six months to find out if the child she was carrying was his or the other guy”s really fucked with his head. He put everyone at a distance, even me.” Alexei leaned back on his hands, watching Helina jump in the pool. ”I”m telling you this because even though I know he can be distant and maybe a little heartless, Adrik”s worth the trouble. He”ll be good to you. And if I didn”t fully believe that—” Alexei paused, and he got to his feet, squatting beside her with his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging between them. Alexei met her gaze. Did she even know how beautiful she looked in the sunlight? ”I would be trying to steal you away.”