Chapter Seven
“Well, we’re in a bit of a predicament, aren’t we? That’s a life-changing decision we have to make.” Mal looked down at Rocky, who was resting his head on Mal’s knee. They were sitting out in the garden. Mal just wanted the chance to be outside, to breathe fresh air, and while he could hear the signs of traffic beyond the walls of the garden, it was enough for now that he was outside with his best friend and the person he had loved for almost his whole life.
“I hate that I’m the one who has to make this decision,” he said, keeping his tone low. He knew Rocky could hear him, and that was the only audience he cared about. “I was always thought, I always believed, that a mating decision was made by the alpha and if the partner was an omega, they just went along with it – although that wouldn’t work, either, would it? See, I’m talking myself around in circles. An omega can reject a mating bite just the same as an alpha can, so even thinking along those lines is a waste of time.”
Mal had always been able to tell Rocky anything. “It would’ve been so much easier if this was your decision. I really hate that this curse has blocked the feelings Doctor Nelson is so sure we’ve got inside. I want to believe in them so badly.”
Rocky woofed. Mal wasn’t sure if that was encouragement or not. But as he thought back over their years together, he realized that Rocky had always left most of the decision-making to him. Rocky would often have ideas. He was known for rushing headlong into all sorts. But major life decisions from deciding to follow Ra all those years ago, to settling in Arrowtown and eventually running for sheriff were the ideas Rocky had that Mal followed up on and made happen. So in a way it was fitting that this, what could be their most life-changing decision, would be made by him as well.
“I keep circling back to the worry that what happens if it doesn’t work? If you bite me, and I bite you, and then…then…what? Nothing except a sore neck and an open wound for both of us.”
Mal laughed. Shifters had been biting people since their beginning of existence – sometimes in fun and sometimes in the heat of a passionate moment. If the shifter and the person they bit weren’t mates, then the scars would just heal leaving no marks, and no harm was done. It was only the scars that left a mark that signified the attachment had been made.
The situation wasn’t made any easier with Rocky being in his wolf form. Doctor Nelson was right in that respect. Mal would have felt so much better if he’d been able to talk to Rocky for just five minutes in his human form. All he had to hold onto was Rocky’s rambling admission on the plane.
But he did have Rocky’s wolf form to guide him. Prior to all the issues, back when Mal and Rocky first met, and even later when they were traveling with Ra and the others, Rocky’s wolf was always laid back. Yes, he was protective of Mal. He always had been. From the moment they’d met, Rocky had stood between Mal and anyone who could harm him, even when they were still both living on the streets.
“I think,” he said, barely wanting to say the words in case they came true. “I think my biggest fear is that if we exchange the bites the way the doctor said we should, in our wolf form, and even if it does cure you and we are mates, bound together for life, that you will hate me for taking that decision away from you. I don’t think I could live with that.”
But as Mal sat there, the afternoon sun warm on his shoulders, the thought of what other choice do we have kept running through his head. From all accounts there was no other possible way to cure Rocky. The coven that laid the original curse was all dead, thanks to the alpha who caused the issue in the first place. The only chance Rocky had was for someone to invoke the action necessary to break it.
It wasn’t only the thought of Rocky hating him that was making Mal pause. The doctor had been quite clear that if the bite exchange didn’t cure him, but the claim took, then when Rocky died, so would Mal.
“I guess this is the time where I have to pull my big boy pants on.” Mal inhaled sharply. “I said I would give my life for yours and I meant it. I guess that’s what I have to do.”
Rocky lifted his head and growled. It wasn’t mean or menacing, like Mal knew he was capable of, but that was the soundest “no” Mal had heard from his friend since they got on the plane.
Mal shook his head at the wolf. “You don’t get to go all noble with me now. I know that tone of growl. I did wonder what you would think when the doctor said there was that possibility. But you have to understand that this is my choice.
“There has never been anybody else in my life like you. There never will be. I’m not being dramatic when I say that my life would not be worth living without you. Our friends have their mates, they have their children, they’re living safe and happy lives…” Mal’s voice caught on the lump in his throat, just thinking of their friends waiting for them back in Arrowtown.
“I want us to have a chance for our happy ever after. If there’s the remotest chance that we can have what they have, then I’m gonna take it, dammit.”
Rocky’s woof was different the second time and Mal recognized it for what it was. “I should’ve known you’d pick up on that. Yes, fine, I’m talking myself into it now, aren’t I? But goddamn it, Rocky, can you blame me? I’ve never wanted much for myself in life. Even now, all I want is for you to be well.
“I want you to be able to walk down the main street without making a beeline to that freaking bakery. You know I’ve got nothing against Fergus and Cam, for goodness’ sake. Fergus is the sweetest soul, and Cam has changed so much for the better because of their mating. But I want us to be able to walk down the road together without having to make a stop at the bakery first.”
Rocky whined, his brows down, making Mal laugh. “I know you had a thing for sweet foods before any of this became an issue. Although, are you going to be able to live with it if the doctor says you can never have sugar again? You saw those glitter bits in your blood, didn’t you?”
Rocky nodded and then tilted his head slightly to one side, his ears flickering.
“Well, there you go then. If those things thickened up like some glitter fairy sludge simply because you couldn’t stop eating sugary things, your heart would stop beating. If we’re mated, and you die, you’ll be taking me with you. Would that be enough to stay away from the sugar?”
Rocky tilted his head to the other side, and Mal got the impression the wolf was honestly thinking about it. Although Rocky could just as easily be thinking about the donuts and custard creams his human form had always enjoyed.
The problem with Rocky thinking, from Mal’s perspective, is that he knew that wolves, as animals, while very intelligent, were always rather simplistic in their thought process. They reacted rather than strategized. If they were hungry, they ate. They protected their young. They cared for their mate. But they really didn’t think about the intricacies of human life such as having to go on a sugar-free diet, because eating sugar could take Rocky’s life.
Mal wasn’t sure he’d ever heard of a diabetic wolf before, but he assumed that it could happen, and realistically because of the curse, it was possible Rocky would need to live his life as if he was a diabetic. “I mean even if we broke the curse,” he said, “even if that actually happened, I would be terrified every time you put a donut near your lips.”
Rocky laid his head on his paws and closed his eyes. He’d clearly decided Mal could get over his little freak-out moment by himself. Rocky didn’t appear worried about it. But then until the whole sugar issue became an addiction, Rocky hadn’t been worried about anything he’d eaten before. A wolf’s metabolism meant he really wasn’t the type to get fat and if anything disagreed with him – something Mal had never seen happen to Rocky before – then within a day he’d be fine again.
It was then Mal realized that he may have to still keep watching over Rocky, even if the curse was cured. Rocky had sat back up again and gave him a nudge with his nose.
“Yeah, I know, buddy. I’d look out for you anyway, wouldn’t I? And it’s not like prior to this business you didn’t eat a whole stack of other things. A plate of Brutus’s chicken wings was never safe from you.”
Rocky nodded again. Cupping the big wolf’s head in his hands, Mal looked deep into Rocky’s eyes. He wasn’t sure how much humanity was there, how much the wolf was protecting his human half from his driving addiction, but Mal needed that connection and for Rocky to know how serious he was.
“I just wish you could tell me. I just wish you could give me an idea – let me know if you wanted this, too. If you wanted me as much as I’ve always dreamed of being with you. I heard what you said on the plane. But to claim somebody who doesn’t want it? It would devastate me if I did that to you.”
Pushing through Mal’s hands, Rocky rested his nose on the edge of Mal’s neck.
Mal gasped, touching the warm nose. “Is that a sign? Is that what you’re telling me? That you want it, too? Do you want it because you want me? Or...”
It was almost as though he could hear Rocky’s words in his head. Mal knew it wasn’t possible, but in that instant he swore he could hear Rocky say, “You always overthink things, Mal. Sometimes you’ve just got to go for it.”
“That’s more your thing than mine.” Mal chuckled. There had been so many times in Rocky’s past where he had “gone for it.” He damn near got himself gored by a buffalo shifter because he went for it. He came off his bike in spectacular fashion when they first started riding with Ra, because he was so damn sure he could make a jump that not even Evel Knievel would make. There were so many similar examples Mal could think of where Rocky had just dashed in because he was dared to, or because he cared so much for his friends, he ignored his personal safety.
Mal knew in that instance if the boot was on the other foot, if Rocky was the one who had to make the decision in an effort to save Mal’s life, he would do it in a heartbeat because that’s who Rocky was.
“All right then,” Mal said, because when it came down to it, no amount of thinking was going to change the outcome. He had to try and then deal with the outcome when it happened. “You’d better let me get my clothes off and no perving. You always seem to want to lick my ass every time I pull my pants down. It’s not funny.”
Shuffling back, Rocky sat down, and then when Mal kept looking at him, he laid down and rested his head on the ground and put one paw over his eyes again, just like he’d done in the office.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” Mal said as he quickly tugged his t-shirt over his head. “Are you seriously trying to convince me that you’re not watching me? Your eyes aren’t completely covered. I can still see them and if I can see them, then you can see me.”
Rocky sat up again, his mouth wide open, his tongue hanging out, his lips stretched in the closest thing to a wolf smile that was possible. Ignoring him, and the way heat rushed to his cheeks, Mal quickly took the rest of his clothes off and let his shift come through.
His wolf bounded up to Rocky’s animal side, always happy to see him. In a lot of ways, the next five minutes were just like any other time they had shifted together. Rocky would sniff him over from head to toe, always giving him a lick on the butt. Mal never knew why Rocky did that, and he was determined to ask him one day.
We’ve got to get rid of this curse first , he thought, as his wolf accepted Rocky’s greeting.
Then it was Mal’s turn, moving quickly, sniffing Rocky from the tip of his ears to the end of his tail – not licking Rocky’s butt – but appreciating his friend in fur still smelled the same. Rocky would just stand there like the magnificent beast that he was and let Mal check him over, almost as though it was his due. Mal had always loved that about Rocky’s wolf.
What would normally happen after the greetings were over was that Rocky would hunker down his front end, wag his tail as an invitation, and they’d play together until they were too tired to move. But this time Rocky just stood there, his tail wagging slowly, nudging him with his nose and Mal understood that was Rocky’s way of telling him that it was all right. It was time to bite - that he wanted Mal to at least try.
Sniffing along Rocky’s furry neck, it wasn’t as easy as Mal thought it should be. It’s not as if he ever went hunting, or tore into flesh before. He couldn’t remember if he’d even eaten in wolf form in the last thirty years or more.
Pushing his humanity back, Mal let his wolf take over. His animal side had no reservations, biting down hard with sharp teeth until Rocky’s blood filled his mouth. As he swallowed it, Mal tried not to grimace. He was sure it was all in his head, but he would swear he could taste the glitter stuff in Rocky’s blood. Once he was sure Rocky was as bitten as he could be, Mal disengaged his teeth and licked over the fur, making sure not one drop of blood remained. There was no way of knowing if the bite would scar until Rocky was human again. Rocky’s ruff was really thick.
This is it. Mal sat down, and tilted his neck as far over as he could. This time it was Rocky who hesitated, sniffing along Mal’s neck. Maybe he’s looking for the mate link that’s just not there , Mal thought, buried deep inside his wolf psyche. Please let this work, please let this work. Because one thing was certain. If their mating didn’t take, then Mal had a definitive answer to all the hopes and dreams he’d carried for so many years. Please!
Mal closed his eyes as he felt the painful bite, and while there was none of the euphoria that Mal had heard so often from his friends about the wonder of a mating bite, as the pain melted away he felt it, when both wolf spirits clicked – it was honestly as if two halves became one and Mal’s battered hope started to grow.
Who needs butterflies, unicorns, rainbows, and birds tweeting? This is the shifter I gave my life to a long time ago. And now whether we’re mated or not, that bond has become a full circle.
Rocky kept his teeth in a bit longer and Mal realized that he was actually lapping at Mal’s blood, determined to get some inside of him in an effort to break the curse and to make sure the bite stuck. Mal kept his eyes closed throughout, waiting until Rocky was finished, and the bigger wolf licked him clean. Rocky rested his head next to Mal’s, their necks curled around each other.
Thank you, my mate.
“It took?” Mal realized he was barking nonsense instead of speaking, as he danced away from Rocky, whirling around to stare at him with what had to be wide eyes. We’re actually mates? You can feel me now? Hear my thoughts?
Rocky nodded, his tail wagging furiously. Now can we please go back to that doctor and tell him, so he can help me shift back and I can hold you in my arms the way I’ve always wanted to?
You did? Mal was so surprised he flopped down on the grass. You wanted me too. Mal wasn’t sure he could believe it, but Rocky would never have said it if he didn’t mean it.
Are you all right? Rocky’s wolf was sniffing at him again, licking his face and nudging at his shoulder. You’re not getting dressed. You’re our voice right now, babe. Get up. Get up. I want to hold you so bad.
If Mal could’ve, he would’ve laughed. Rocky was going to be all right. Their relationship was going to need some adjustments, but they would be all right, too. There was no idea for how long, if the curse was broken or anything else like that, but Mal and Rocky were finally one.
The doctor might make you stay in your wolf form until he’s checked your blood again, Mal warned as he bounced to his feet. I don’t think that cursed stuff in your blood is going to disappear in the space of five minutes.
You won’t know until you ask him. Come on. Come on. Shift and put your clothes on quickly. No one gets to see your body but me.
Welcome to mated life, Mal thought with a chuckle, but he kept that thought to himself. It was time to shift and see what Doctor Nelson had to say about their new developments.