8. Enough.
8
Enough.
“Europe registered a high number of demonic possessions during the Dark Ages. Famines, wars, and plagues ensured that the general population had no shortage of soul wounds. Humans were eager to accept power, no matter the origin, if it meant they could survive another day. Christianity trained and sanctioned priests for exorcism. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in 1431, potentially rightfully so, as we now understand that she might have been inhabited by a powerful demon. Her knowledge of warfare and her unlikely survival in dire situations are clues that historians can no longer ignore […]”
-Extract from the State Exorcist’s Manual , edition of 2047.
DEDHAM, MASSACHUSETTS, 2040
Since age seven, I had been confined to our house with my demon as my only faithful companion. And so my arrival at the boarding school of Noble and Greendough turned my world upside-down. I wasn’t ready to face so many people—teenagers, at that—and I found myself sitting at the back during the opening ceremony.
Most fourteen-year-olds already knew each other from middle school. I was the odd one. The new kid with the washed-out complexion and hair. They stared at me and whispered behind my back, not realizing that I could hear their words. Unease settled deep in my gut, and I kept my eyes down.
My demon was quiet, but he wasn’t dormant. I could feel his watchfulness. The school presented a new playground for him to sow discord. He was thrilled to be let out into the world alongside me.
My father had called a taxi from Boston to send me to school with my bags; he had matters to attend to. But by then, I already knew the truth: he couldn’t get rid of me soon enough. I was a bothersome reminder of his previous life. He didn’t want any affiliation with his ex-wife, the satanic whore , as he liked to call her. He had spent millions to get as far away as possible from the House Shaw Massacre. But one cannot get rid of a child as easily as a mansion.
I barely listened to the opening ceremony. I was too busy sorting out smells and sounds. There were too many people in one place. The airport, too, had been overwhelming. My new life was coming at me like a tsunami. I already missed the quiet of the forest near my old home and the simple company of animals.
The school management put up the dorms’ arrangements on a wall, and I waited until everyone had checked them before walking up. I was in a building at the far end of the school, near the river. I checked the map on my phone and carried my luggage out. I had seen the pictures online, but nothing prepared me for seeing the castle in person as I found my way through campus. My jaw dropped as I walked over the grass field below it. I was one of the rich kids. My father had paid good money to put me in a golden cage.
“ A kingdom waiting to be conquered ,” my demon said.
I frowned. “Shut up.”
He laughed in my head, and a migraine pounded against my temples. I’d become bolder in the past year. If I were to die devoured from the inside out by a demon, at least I could rebel in all the ways that I could, even small ones.
“ It has been a while since I beheld a structure like this ,” he said, ignoring my feeble attempt at rebelling. “ Humans do not build like they used to .”
“You’ve seen many castles?” I asked.
I knew from the snippets of truth he allowed me to know that he had possessed many souls before me. As the years passed and I became stronger, he spent more time awake, and we talked.
“ Many ,” he admitted. “ There used to be castles to govern most places in Europe. I possessed many rulers and walked many halls .”
“Just how old are you?” I sputtered.
“ I was coming to your world long before most of your prophets were even born .”
I dragged my luggage over the grass field, thinking. My demon was centuries old—if not millennia!
“Why me?” I asked. “Why not possess someone with more power?”
I was a nobody.
“ I needed a vessel that could be changed to accommodate me. You see, most hosts do not survive my invasion for long . And for the task ahead, I need a body that can grow into something more than a simple human shell . I am all powerful and heavy to carry.”
I snorted. “Humble, too.”
“ Humility is for the ones who like to pretend to be less than what they are. I do not partake in such futile habits ,” he said. “ And your pain was…tantalizing ,” he continued. “I felt you through the veil that separates our world. Your suffering was sweet, and your soul was inviting. Your mother’s filicide called to me, but it was your soul’s wound that allowed me passage .”
There is nothing sweet about a mother sacrificing her child , I wanted to say. But arguing with my demon was ever fruitless, so I kept my mouth shut.
I reached the entrance to the red brick building where I would find my dorm room. There was an elevator to reach the upper levels, but I carried my bags up the stairs. I was stronger than I looked and barely broke a sweat.
I walked into the dorm room without knocking. After all, why would I? It was to be mine for the upcoming school year. But another teenager was already inside. He was tall and wide, like one of these football players in young adult romcoms. His hair was the color of sunshine, like my mother’s. He turned toward me and smiled too brightly.
“Hey there,” he said. “You must be my roommate, Jonah. I’m Arthur Thorn. Nice to meet you.”
And I stared like a fool.
Arthur was everything . From the moment I walked into the room we shared, he became my first real friend. He was fourteen, like me, but he knew the campus well. He guided me on the first day of class. Being homeschooled since I was seven, I had no idea how anything was supposed to work.
I was quiet during the day, but at night, in the privacy of our dorm, I slowly came out of my shell. We watched movies, played video games, and ate snacks like gluttons. He didn’t mind sharing everything he owned with me. Even clothes. He treated me better than my family ever did. And that was all it took for me to fall for him— hard .
By the end of the first semester, I was deeply in love with my roommate. I couldn’t stop, no matter how hard I tried. It felt forbidden, somehow, to be this happy and hopeful. Especially knowing my condition—the demon who dwelled close to my broken soul, slowly mutating my body and biding his time until the day he could devour me.
My demon was active at night, like he had been at home in Williamsburg. He took over more often and snuck out of the dorm room to sow chaos in school. I watched it all with disregard. There was nothing I could do to stop him. He messed around with teachers and students alike. But he had a keen mind—twisted, but keen—and never got us in trouble.
But, surprisingly, he didn’t meddle with Arthur. He left us alone, sparing my bubble of happiness from his demonic designs.
And so I let my eyes linger more and more. I turned fifteen, and I could no longer deny the attraction I had for my roommate. He was athletic and often came back to the dorm sweaty and smelling enticing. I dreamed about him so often that it became embarrassing. However, I couldn’t act on it and risk losing his friendship. I was ready to take my secret to the grave.
But only I thought it was a secret.
One night—it was a Tuesday—as we were watching a movie together in his bed, Arthur’s hand landed on my lap. I froze, like a deer caught in headlights. My heart hammered against my rib cage, hard enough to rattle my bones. I expected him to take his hand away, like so many times before. After all, we were roommates; we were often touching each other accidentally.
But this time, he didn’t. His hand lingered on my thigh. His fingers drew circles as he laughed about something on the screen. I couldn’t focus on anything other than the place where he was touching me. The skin around my entire body grew tight, and I was breathless. His shoulder fell on mine, heavy and warm. I was thankful for the darkness that hid the flush on my face.
“Jonah?” Arthur said.
His warm breath caressed my cheek and neck. I turned slowly. He was watching me with a small smile on his sensuous lips. We were so close. Close enough to kiss.
And we did.
He made the first move, closing the short distance between us. It was wet and perfect. I didn’t know what I was doing, but Arthur did. He took the lead, grabbing my face between his large hands. Shivers and desire ran through my entire body.
He nuzzled me, and I fell on the bed. We kissed until my vision darkened from the lack of oxygen, but I couldn’t care less.
Then his hands started roaming under my t-shirt, against my stomach and chest. I gasped, unused to such intimacy. Nobody had touched me in years. Even my mother had ignored my need for touch when I was a child.
I melted under his hands.
Until Arthur pulled my pants down in one swift motion, and I tensed. It was going too fast, and I was freaking out a little.
What if I made a fool of myself? I had zero experience.
What if my demon took over at the worst possible time?
I tried to talk, but he kissed me harder, swallowing my plea.
His right hand slid between my legs, spreading them, while the left held me down.
“Arth—” I said. “Please, I—” But I couldn’t get the words through.
His finger delved between my legs, entering me forcefully. I cried out as the pain surprised me. I tried to push him away, but he plunged his tongue into my mouth.
I struggled, confused and hurt. Tears burned my eyes.
“ Enough ,” my demon said in my head.
His voice urged me into action. I bit into Arthur’s bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood. He finally backed away, cursing loudly.
Arthur swiped the blood from his mouth. “You bit me, you little fuck.”
You little fuck . He had never disrespected me before.
“I’m sorry—I—didn’t mean to—” I stuttered.
I still hoped to salvage the situation. I was a fool.
He punched me in the face. My head snapped back, and I fell on the bed once again. I tasted blood on my tongue.
“Who do you think you are?” Arthur said, climbing over me. “I’ve been the only one to befriend you, the strange kid. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. And you bite me?” he roared.
“No, I—”
He grabbed me by the hips and rolled me onto my stomach. With a forceful hand, he buried my head into the mattress. I was much smaller than him. My lower half was still naked; I hadn’t gotten a chance to put my pants back on.
“Just be a good boy and take it,” Arthur said. “I’ve noticed the way you watch me, Jonah. Don’t pretend you don’t want it. I usually don’t swing that way, but you’re so insistent. Shush, baby. It can be your little secret.”
The way he called me baby while forcing himself on me twisted my gut. True despair took hold of my soul. Once again, I was being betrayed by someone who was supposed to love and protect me. I was a toy for them to play with and discard once they were through. My tears were soaking the sheets.
“ Enough! ” My demon roared, louder than my own pitiful thoughts. “ Borrow my strength, little one, and show him what you are made of.”
Power surged through me, sweeter than anything I ever felt. Invisible fire licked at my skin. I pushed Arthur away swiftly, and he fell from the bed.
He was on the floor, fuming. But before he could go back to his feet, I kicked him in the chin. Then I was on him, blinded with rage. My small hands encircled his neck and tightened. His eyes bulged, bloodshot. He tried to get me off him, but to no avail. I had the strength of a demon coursing through my body.
“ Send his rotted soul to where it came from ,” my demon said. “ Make sure he can never hurt you again.”
And I did. I strangled Arthur until he stopped kicking. Until he was well and truly dead.
When I finally let go, minutes had passed. Bruises colored his neck.
He laid motionless, forever, on the floor of our room.
“Fuck…” I said.
My body was shaking, and my teeth rattled. I had killed someone. I was well and truly fucked. The police would come for me. And when they did, they would realize I was possessed and call the State Exorcists. I would die a painful death. Back then, they weren’t known for their success rate.
I had killed a man. Me . My demon had only lent me some of his power. My rage couldn’t be blamed on him.
I sat there, shell-shocked, until my demon said, “ I will take care of it, little one .”
The way he always called me ‘ little one ’ felt strangely reassuring. Especially after Arthur’s insult.
I nodded feebly, and he took over. It was like falling down a dark well, until I sat at the back of my mind, a simple passenger in my body.
My demon cleaned the room and rolled Arthur’s body into a blanket. Luckily, by strangling him, I had avoided blood altogether. His death had left no traces.
He waited for the darkest hours of the night before walking down the dark corridors; the corpse swinging over his shoulder. The new moon cloaked us in darkness as we made our way to the river. He threw Arthur’s body in the water. I watched, detached from it all, as the current took my abuser’s body.
My demon folded the blanket neatly, as if nothing had happened, and walked us back to the dorm. He got me into bed.
“ Rest now, little one ,” my demon said.
I fell into a sleep akin to a coma.
Come morning, I had a strong fever. My demon’s surge of power had taken its toll on my body. I tried to get to class, but seeing the state I was in, the teacher sent me to the infirmary. They instructed me to stay in bed and let my father know.
Arthur’s absence was noted.
Four days later, his body washed up downriver. I allowed myself to cry for the first time. My first love and second betrayal.
It was undeniable that he’d been murdered. The police came to investigate. But from his phone and questioning the people who knew him, it turned out that he had plenty of enemies. Other teenagers he had mistreated and abused. Family members he assaulted. I wasn’t at the top of the list of suspects. I was also too small to be a threat to an athletic young man two heads taller than me. His windpipe had been crushed by an iron grip.
The investigation stagnated, and they never found the killer. Arthur’s murder became a part of the school’s haunting tales.
And I was left picking up the pieces of my broken heart once again.