3
To save us all the trouble, I just don’t sleep. I don’t think I could if I tried, anyway. My nervous system is shot and I can’t stop thinking that I made a terrible mistake by coming here.
That was only day one, and look how it turned out? Miserable and embarrassing, just like I knew it would. It just took a much weirder turn than I expected.
And now beginning day two on no sleep, I don’t have high hopes that it’ll be any better. They’re already waiting for me when I open my door.
They’re sitting together on the couch in lounge pants that do nothing to hide their natural bulges, and the comfortable looking loose-fitted shirts they’re wearing somehow make them more attractive. I don’t get it.
“Damn, you look like shit,” Ash says with a chuckle. “You stayed up, huh?”
“It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. My customers love it when my voice is scratchy like this anyway.” I move into the kitchen to make coffee and wait for the inevitable command to get them some too.
“Peppermint mocha for us,” Manson tosses out. “I like mine a little sweeter than Ash does, but not too much.”
“It’s fucking August,” I mumble. “And I don’t even know how to make a mocha.”
Sighing, Ash stands up to join me in the kitchen to pull out the Peppermint Mocha flavored creamer from the fridge, then sets it on the counter next to their mugs. “It’s the best one, doesn’t matter the time of year.”
I can’t tell if he’s trying to make me feel dumb or if he’s actually defensive over their creamer choice, but either way, I want him to fuck off. “Oh. You meant regular coffee with white girl flavored creamer. Got it.” I pull it closer to me and tap my fingers on the counter as the coffee brews, but he’s still not moving. “Do you want sugar too?” I ask slowly. “Ice? What?”
“I want you to lose the fucking attitude, grouchy. How the hell do you take your coffee? Black like your soul?”
He steps in closer, so close his chest is almost brushing my arm. I can still smell his cologne. “Black, because I’m sweet enough without any extra sugar.”
He laughs darkly and lowers his face to my level. “You touch yourself last night?”
“No,” I say honestly. “Did you? Or did you let Manson do it for you?”
Ash huffs. “Real friends blow each other, pet. You wouldn’t know anything about that, huh? Who’s your best friend again?”
The coffee pot sputters as it finishes, saving me from having to admit that I have no one. I fix his coffee first and hand it to him. “I’ll watch my attitude. I can’t promise anything because you’re an asshole, but I’ll try. Enjoy your coffee.”
“Thank you, Rhea.”
He tips his mug at me with a fake smile and walks away, his friend taking his place before I can finish filling up his mug. “Too early for that shit,” he mutters. “You really stay up all night?”
“When I’m positive I’ll have an episode if I go to sleep? Yeah. It wasn’t so bad when I was living alone.”
“Guess all three of your triggers were fucked last night, huh?” He takes a sip and leans against the counter. “Give me a list of shit you need and we’ll bring it home.”
Right, because I’m not allowed to leave this place now.
“Groceries. A lot of them. And tampons, too.” I don’t actually need them, but I want to watch him squirm.
“T-Tampons?” He frowns. “What size? And wh— can you just write it all down?”
Yeah, it was worth it.
“Yes. I have to work today, so if my door is closed, just pretend I left handcuffs on the counter or whatever you guys do. Okay?”
“You’re still gonna do that?” The fact that he looks confused baffles me. Why the fuck wouldn’t I? “I guess I thought... I mean it’s not like you have rent.”
“For now,” I remind him. “I promised Ash I’d keep looking for somewhere else to live, and this might be a good time to save for a house. I also still need things like clothes and shampoo.”
He tosses a hand out like that’s nothing, but Ash decides to chime in from the couch. “She’s not trying to be our pet forever, bro. She’ll run away as soon as she can find a new rock to hide under.”
I’m not trying to be their pet at all.
“And then you can go back to living in peace.”
Chuckling, Ash doesn’t respond and pretends to tune us out again, but Manson isn’t backing down. “I don’t want you getting other dudes off while you’re ours.”
There’s something in his eyes I’ve never seen before, something dangerous and possessive. “I’m not that kind of slave for you,” I point out. “I’ll fold your clothes and help you pee and feed you, but I’m not your sex slave. It’s different. Isn’t it, Ash?”
Silence.
Coffee forgotten, Manson moves in just a little closer to box me in. “And what if we want that kind of slave too?”
I can’t. I won’t. Not with them.
“Then I’ll leave so you can find one.”
“No, you won’t,” Ash joins us in the kitchen with his jaw as tense as Manson’s. “You have nowhere to go.”
That seems to be his favorite phrase now. As if I need to be reminded that this was my only choice. “I won’t do it. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Asher holds up a hand to stop Manson in his tracks. “She has to sleep sometime, doesn’t she?” He smiles. “Who do you think her body will crave?”
Oh god. Oh god . He’s right, I can feel the heat pooling in my stomach, the wetness between my thighs. I hate him, I do. He terrifies me. They both do. But standing here cornered by them, seeing their sneers, their desire... the muscles and hard ridges of bodies built for violence? The second I fall asleep, I’ll beg them for it.
I know who I am. I’ve seen the tapes.
I have to leave.
Swallowing, I squeeze between them and head to my bedroom to get dressed. Neither of them follow me. In fact, they leave me alone until I have a bag packed and I’m making my way to the front door — and all they do is laugh.
The door is locked. It’s not a deadbolt or one you just flip, either. It’s biometric.
That spare key he gave me was just for show.
He wasn’t kidding when he said I couldn’t leave.
“Already trying to break our deal, all because I stated facts.” Ash walks over to me and snatches my bag out of my grasp, nearly shoulder checking me as he leaves to take it back to my room. Manson just looks disappointed in me.
“I have to piss, Rhea.”
He jerks his head toward the hallway for me to lead the way, so I hold my head as high as I can as I walk past him.
When we’re alone in the bathroom, I take a moment to meet his eyes. “I thought you were different. I thought maybe since you lived here too, things would be okay. That you’d be mean to me in front of him like always, but when push came to shove, you’d be there for me. That I’d be safe here. But you just want to use me, too.”
I fumble to pull his cock out and try to look away as we aim, but Manson grips my chin and forces me to look at him. “I can be that for you, I just want something in return. Is that too much to ask? Is this whole fucking thing not transactional for everyone else?”
It is for him, too. Ash isn’t the only one I agreed to take care of, just not with my fucking body. “Asher said it himself. I can’t stay awake forever. At least then, I won’t have to be coherent for whatever you do to me.”
He stares at me for a long moment before he releases me and takes care of his business, and this time I don’t get any praise or warmth at all when he finishes. “I think you’ll enjoy it either way. Like I said, this can be a fun thing for us all.”
“For you two, you mean. He tried to kill me, Manson.” I hold up my hand, forcing him to acknowledge it. “And it’s not just that, he wanted me to suffer. To hurt. I’m glad that you two feel like you just won the lottery, but I willingly walked into my own personal hell because I didn’t have a choice. I’ll see you after work.”
As I wash my hands, he stays there watching me until I’m done, and then he blocks the doorway with his arms crossed. “Have you ever thought about it?” He nods toward Ash’s room. “Fucking him.”
“I grew up believing fucking your siblings was wrong, so no,” I say firmly. We both know it’s only partially the truth. I never would’ve thought about it before, but last night? It was all I could think about. “Save me the blood relation spiel. I know.”
Shrugging, he leans in to share a secret. “You’re better than him then.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“You’re a smart girl.” Winking, he turns away to leave like he didn’t just insinuate my step-brother jacks off to the thought of me. “Figure it out.”
I knew Asher was cruel. Hell, I knew he was a little bit insane. But this? Manson’s right, I am a smart girl. I’m smart enough to realize that the only reason Ash let me move in here is because he knew that with my sexsomnia, he can have me whether I want him to or not. He can break me, awake or asleep. At night, I’m uninhibited. My subconscious doesn’t seem to remember all the reasons I’d have to say no, it just... wants. I won’t remember in the moment that he tried to kill me or that he’s currently trapping me in this house. All I’ll remember is the way it felt to have his cock in my hand, and how deliciously taboo it would be to fuck my only stepsibling.
I’ll want it when I’m sleeping. I’ll need it.
And there’s not a damned thing I can do about the fact that he knows it.