24
“Please?” I beg, bouncing up and down just outside the back door. I probably look like a dog, but I don’t care. I am their pet, after all. “It’s dark, can we go?”
“Love the stars enough to beg, huh?” Manson teases, but even his easygoing smile isn’t enough to distract me from how tense Asher is, and he doesn’t relax at all until he’s gripping my shock collar with both hands.
At least he looks almost apologetic about it. Almost.
As much as it irritates me, I have to admit I understand. He’s bent a lot in the last day or so, I can’t expect him to completely transform.
“It’s okay, Asher,” I assure him, stepping forward and lifting my hair up out of the way. “Go ahead. Just promise me you won’t shock me unless you think it’s necessary.”
“I won’t,” he rushes out, stepping in to clasp it on, and then he surprises the hell out of me when he places a quick kiss on my forehead. “You deserve to see the stars. Go on, Rhea.”
He moves back and waves a hand at the back door just before Manson excitedly takes my hand.
It seems like such a dumb thing to be giddy about, but as they open the stupid biometric door and I get a rush of fresh, clean air for the first time in three months, I feel like I’m flying.
I don’t even open my eyes at first. I keep them squeezed shut as I breathe deep and let the grass tickle my bare toes.
It’s cold, almost too cold, but it’s such a welcome change from the carpet and vinyl inside that I don’t care.
Even the wind feels like a long lost friend. It whips my hair over my face, around my shoulders. I hear crickets chirping and owls hooting. It’s an almost bittersweet reminder that while I’ve been locked in a makeshift prison, the world kept turning.
It makes everything we do on a daily basis feel futile at best and ludicrous at worst. Working our lives away, paying taxes, toeing the line. It oddly doesn’t give me a feeling of inferiority or uselessness — on the contrary. It just makes me want to stop playing by the rules.
I can be free here if I try. If I’m a good girl, if I show them this is the way to go, I can make my own world. My own life.
I can do this.
Slowly, I open my eyes and take in the sky above me. I’ve always been a little obsessed with the stars, but after not seeing them for months?
It nearly brings me to my knees.
Manson whispers a “damn” under his breath, and when I flick my gaze toward him, I find he’s staring at me. And he isn’t alone.
They’re both staring at me the way I’m staring at the stars, and I don’t know how to feel about it.
“Beautiful, right?” Ash is bumping Manson with his shoulder, but he’s still watching me like I’m the one he’s talking to.
God, I have to be careful not to push too far. I want to demand to be allowed out every day, to be added to the fucking biometrics so I can come and go as I please. But I won’t ruin this. Not yet, anyway.
“I used to try to find the constellations when I was a kid,” I offer. “I was never very good at it, but my dad bought me a telescope and told me stories about each of them.”
They share a quick look I can’t read, but I don’t really try. I’m back to staring at the stars while I can, and I don’t take my eyes off of them until Manson disappears into the house.
“You don’t talk about him,” Ash points out. “Not that I’ve really given you a chance.”
“Most times it hurts to think about him,” I say quietly. “But I’ve always wanted to believe he’s up there. He was an astronomer, you know. Spent his whole life dedicated to studying the sky. I figure if he went anywhere at all after he died, he went up there with the stars.”
Finally, Ash peels his gaze away from me and glances up. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Seems like a nice place for good people to go.”
I didn’t come out here to be sad about my father or the things that led me here, so I reach over and lace my fingers with his. “Thank you for saying that.”
He grips it tighter than I expected and doesn’t let go even when Manson is laying out a blanket for us to stargaze on. “Get between us, Rhea. We’ll keep your toes warm.”
My throat suddenly gets tight. As I take unsteady steps to join him, I have to wonder if I’m losing my mind. There’s no way these two men are the same ones I’ve been living with for months. The softness on their faces, the careful way they touch me and pull me closer... it doesn’t seem real.
“You’ve been hiding all the good blankets.”
“I have,” he admits. “Thought it’d lure you into my room so I could take advantage of you. Didn’t work. You’re a hardheaded little shit, you know that?”
Asher huffs at Manson’s bluntness as he cuddles in closer, but I find the honesty refreshing. “It might’ve worked if I knew they were there.”
“That makes sense. Guess I dropped the ball.”
He interlinks his fingers with my other hand, and for a moment, the world stops. Nothing matters but the sky above me and my own beating heart. I’m alive. And I still have a chance to make things better.
“It’ll work now.”
“Yeah, because we actually communicated. Crazy how that works.”
Manson lifts up his head to toss Asher a pointed look, and my step-brother rolls his eyes. “Just look at the damn stars. You talk so much it’s ruining the magic.”
But it isn’t. His hand squeezes mine a little tighter, and for once, I don’t feel like there’s anything going on but genuine connection.
Well... minus the fucking shock collar, anyway.
“How long has it been since you two did something like this?” I ask. “Just enjoyed something bigger than yourselves.”
Silence answers me for so long I’m sure they don’t plan on answering me at all, but after I’ve practically moved on, Asher speaks. “Probably early high school. By junior year we were already working for the Provost so we didn’t really spend much time enjoying things. We just wanted to make as much money as we could.”
“And it was a good distraction from our home life,” Manson adds. “If you grind all day until you can’t keep your eyes open it’s easy to not even realize how much time is passing.”
“What about you?” Ash is laying on his side with his gaze on me now, but I don’t have a better answer.
“Maybe around the same time.”
“What a throuple we make, huh?” I can tell Manson is trying to lighten the mood, but it’s honestly not even necessary. I can feel they’re at peace too. “Maybe we should do this a few times a week?”
“I’d like that.” It’s the simplest way to keep things moving without taking too much, and I think it does wonders for both of them. They’re not as hard to figure out as I thought. “It’s gonna get cold soon though so I’ll need warmer clothes.”
Both of them drape their legs over my body like it might help. “You can wear my clothes.”
“Sometimes,” Manson argues with Ash. “I have clothes she can use too.”
“Or you two can go get me some clothes of my own and I’ll dedicate one day each week to wearing yours.”
Again, silence, but this time it’s a little less charged. “Do we get to pick your new clothes?” Manson asks, shocking absolutely no one.
“Since I doubt you’ll take me with you, yes. You can choose them, I just want them to be mine. My size, my style.”
“That’s fair. Ash?”
He still hasn’t said anything, but the tightness I’ve grown used to in my chest loosens when he nods. “You still love hoodies more than pants?”
“Yes. And leggings more than jeans. Maybe a couple of cute shirts so I can pretend to still get dressed up.”
“You can still dress up for us when you’re in the mood. Would you ever wear a dress?” Manson asks curiously, but Ash answers for me.
“She hates them. We can get lingerie if you want her to dress up sexy for you.”
“Yeah, but what if we specifically got dresses so we could rip her out of them?”
Sighing, I look at Asher. “I don’t hate them anymore. Once I actually filled out, they made a lot more sense. You should’ve seen the one I wore to prom.”
“I... did,” he admits. “I went there because... well it doesn’t really matter anymore, but yeah, I saw you.”
“He was a whole asshole for a week about it too. Who was the guy you were dancing with anyway? Is he the one you lost your virginity to?”
My stomach twists. “No, but almost. He got cold feet at the last second and said we weren’t ready after promising me it would happen that night for two months, so I fucked his brother.” Against my better judgment, I ask, “Asher, why were you there?”
“That’s our girl,” Manson says with chuckle, but Asher isn’t laughing.
“I remember guys at prom and I didn’t want you fucking someone... or multiple someones if we went to the same kind of parties. I didn’t want you enjoying yourself, but when I saw you dancing I made myself leave.”
“Then drank himself into oblivion.“
“That’s unrelated.”
“Sure it is,” Manson argues, offering him a ridiculously obvious wink.
“So you didn’t want me to enjoy myself but left the moment you noticed me enjoying myself? What did you think was going to happen, I was going to go and cry in the bathroom all night?” Sitting up, I brace myself to hear the truth. “Is that what you wanted?”
“No, I—” Ash shakes his head like he’s trying to erase it. “I don’t know.”
“Yes you do,” Manson pushes. “Say it.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he growls, then rounds on me. “I didn’t want some fucking guy touching you and then I realized how dumb it was to care so I left. But yeah, when I thought some dude was going to fuck you I wanted to kill someone. There, I fucking said it.”
“Don’t worry, he didn’t actually want to fuck me. His brother sure did though.” Laying back down, I fight a smile as he frowns, his head tilting slightly.
“His older one or his younger one?”
“Older.”
They do that thing where they meet each other’s eyes in silent communication, but this time I have a feeling I know what it means.
Ash relaxes into me again, sending goosebumps over my skin. It’s not lost on me that he just admitted it hasn’t always been hatred driving him. Hatred just... steered better.
“Can we go inside? I’m getting really cold.”
Asher is on his feet so fast I can’t help but feel like he was going to suggest this before I did. “I got her, you get the blanket.”
“Not fair,” Manson grumbles just as Ash tosses me over his shoulder to head inside.
Little fucker still doesn’t trust me. I’m not sure he ever will, but at least this was a decent start.
We just have a long way to go.