Chapter One
Ten days later
Briley Cross disconnected the burner cell phone and tossed it into her backpack; she stretched and glanced out the window at the emerging spring blooms and blossoms. She was still amazed that Pennsylvania was so mountainous – for some reason, she’d always thought that it was pancake-flat like its neighbor Ohio. The soaring peaks and rolling green hills were a pleasant surprise, one of the first that she’d had in a very long time. She’d always been attracted to contrasts, and the snowy, stern peaks looming over the lush, warm foliage was her idea of landscape heaven.
“Well, darlin’… how’s Elle doing back in Denver?”
She turned in the passenger seat to look at the drop-dead gorgeous man sitting next to her. Dark hair peppered with gray, dark blue eyes that always seemed to be twinkling with humor, a muscular chest with dark tattoos peeking out from the top of his tight white t-shirt. An utterly delicious male specimen, so gorgeous that despite them being stuck together in this van for the past week-and-a-half, Briley was still struck dumb when he smiled at her. She had a serious thing for eye-crinkles on a man, and Drake Keeler made them look sexier than anyone else alive. Well, anyone except –
“Yeah.” The voice came from the back of the custom-made van and she turned all the way around to see the mirror image of Drake lounging on the triple-seat, his massive arms stretched either side across its frame. His full lips were curved in a heart-attack-inducing grin: Dux Keeler in all his glory was (obviously) as breath-stopping as his twin brother. “How’s our former little flower coping with a life of freedom?”
“Yeah, it’s still so weird to remember that Elle used to be called Iris when she was in that cult,” Briley said. “She’s light-years from the Garden now though, and she sounds great. She’s making a real go of it, working for your MC in the bar kitchen. Says she’s saving money like mad so she can get that awful tattoo on her back all covered up.”
“And Viking?” Dux said. “Last we saw, they looked pretty serious about each other.”
“She didn’t say too much about him,” Briley said. “But what she did say was pointing in that direction… I think they’re in it together and for the long haul.”
“Good,” Drake said. “God knows Elle could use a decent guy in her life, and she can’t do better than our old Doctor Viking.”
“Wait, what?” Briley stared at him, astonished. “Viking is an actual doctor ?”
“Not practicing anymore.” Drake spun the wheel as he spotted a roadside restaurant advertising two-for-one burgers. “But he’s still damn handy in certain circumstances… as I’m sure you’ve had the chance to notice.”
Briley looked at Dux again, remembering full well how Viking had removed the bullet from the back of his thigh after that shoot-out at the Garden. The red-headed giant had been in total control of the situation: his huge hands had been quick and confident with the scalpel, and surprisingly gentle when pulling the bullet out of Dux’s wrecked flesh.
She had been in shock after blasting that motherfucker Gideon smack in the heart, and she’d watched the impromptu surgery in the back of the van with a sense of disconnected unreality; even when she thought about it now, it still seemed like a bizarre dream. Still, it was funny that it hadn’t even occurred to Briley to wonder if Viking had any medical training. In her defence, though, it had been one hell of a past ten days and that was putting it mildly.
“As it happens, I did notice,” she said. “How is your leg, by the way?”
Dux straightened it in front of him with a wince. “Better. I’m glad we’re stopping, though. I could use a bit of a walk and a stretch.”
“Yeah, I bet you need a stroll.” Briley pulled on her coat, bracing herself for the chill and wind. “Plus you’re ancient , right? Need to keep those creaky old joints flexible, huh?”
Two pairs of stunningly-blue eyes stared at her now, surprise and amusement shining out as clear as day. The twins seemed to like nothing more than her teasing them, and she liked nothing more than having them both smiling at her at the same time, so it was win-win, really.
“Who you calling old , babe?” Dux said. “Just ‘cause you’re practically a tadpole at thirty-three –”
“So are you saying that I’m old too?” Drake said, switching off the ignition. “Because I’ll just point out that Dux is eleven minutes older than I am. Surely that counts for something?”
“Nope,” Briley said, batting her eyelashes at him. “Not one jot.”
“Not a single jot,” Dux said sadly. “Gosh. You’re jot-less.”
“It’s a tragic day, one with no jots,” Drake said. “How to carry on? How? How ?”
“I guess us almost-forty-five years olds just have to lie down and wait for death.” Dux climbed out of the van, raised his gorgeous face to the sunlight. “But lunch first, right?”
“Yep,” his brother said. “ Everything waits until after burgers. Thus has it always been, and thus shall it ever be.”
“Is that from the Bible?” Briley asked as they walked to the restaurant. “Is that the part that you wrote?”
Both men burst into hoots of laughter.
“ Jesus , darlin’.” Drake held the door for her and ushered her in. “You have a sassy mouth, huh?”
She smiled at him as Dux helped her take off her coat. “Sometimes.”
“And what do you do with that sweet mouth the rest of the time, when it ain’t sassing innocent old people?” Dux asked her. “Maybe it does nice things once in a while?”
Briley cocked her head at them, briefly taken aback. This wasn’t the first time that the twins had said something that felt really, really loaded… and despite the joking, teasing words, they also seemed to have a serious undertone, a current of sensuality. Like maybe the men were really asking; like maybe they were more than just flirting to pass the time as they all drove from Utah to New York, and now back west again.
Briley had been alone in the van with Dux and Drake for almost ten solid days, ever since the group of them had peeled away from The Garden of Divine Light, leaving Gideon dead on his back and his Guardians and women-servants keening and wailing. She still felt incredibly guilty about the women but she knew that Wolf Connor, President of The Road Devils MC, and Ice Johansson, the ice-cold blond beast who didn’t seem to possess a single emotion, were staying on top of things.
It seemed that they had contact with someone in law enforcement – someone high up, maybe as high as the FBI – who was paying attention to the cult and its activities. Briley was nothing but shocked that that cocky little piss-ant Michael seemed to have abandoned the Garden completely and disappeared into the night, and that things had basically fallen apart in the wake of his escape. With no clear leader in their midst, the cult hierarchy seemed to have just crumbled, leaving a group of very confused people sitting amongst its rubble.
From what Dux and Drake had told her, it sounded like only a handful of Guardians were still on the loose: three had been killed in the assault on the compound, three had been arrested, and the remaining four had made a bee-line for New Mexico. As for the ten women, they’d been left behind in Utah to fend for themselves, and all Briley could think was that they were dead weight and would have slowed the men down as they fled the state.
She was totally sure that the four Guardians would simply regroup, recruit and rebuild; they’d just find a new Garden to grow. After all, Gideon had started his cult in the desert almost fifteen years ago and even when he’d moved to Utah, he’d kept the New Mexico facilities open and staffed. It made perfect sense that the Guardians had run there when everything had gone up in smoke and they were looking for safety and to start all over again.
It was still a source of great amusement for her that someone named ‘Ice’ was camped out in the wilds of sandy New Mexico at that exact moment, stealthily surveilling the Desert Bloom compound. It was because of his presence there that Wolf knew as much as he did – despite his glowering, terrifying size and unforgettable appearance, it seemed that Ice was, in real terms, one hell of a spy. The twins had told her to never, ever bet against Ice Johansson when it came to protecting the MC and its interests, and she was quickly learning to believe that.
“Well,” she said now, wrenching her mind away from a vivid image of the cold-as-ice Ice burrowing up to his neck and sweltering in a sand dune, peering through binoculars. “My mouth gets up to all kinds of things, boys.”
“ Do tell,” Drake said. “In great detail.”
She leaned forward and watched those identical sets of eyes widen in anticipation. “My mouth… orders a Cobb salad and then goes to call its good friend Cheryl.” She sat back again and flashed them a grin.
“Awww,” Drake said, clearly heart-broken. “That was a bit of a let-down.”
“A bit ?” his brother asked.
She stood up. “I really am going to check on Cheryl now, so would you guys please order for me? Salad and some green tea?”
“Yeah, sure, darlin’.” Drake smiled up at her, devastating her with those damn eye-crinkles. “Say hi to that sweet girl for us.”
Briley nodded and headed over to a quieter section of the restaurant, semi-hidden behind a wooden partition. For no reason whatsoever, she looked around before pressing the ‘1’ on the burner to speed-dial her friend. She knew that there was zero chance that Michael was lurking around the buffet, but still – the fact that nobody actually knew where that sick little fuck was did give her pause. She’d feel better when he rolled up to the Desert Bloom compound and Ice got eyes on him; it was just a matter of time before that happened, surely, because where else did Michael have to go?
Pushing down hard on the flutter of worry that moved in her chest whenever she thought about that pathetic, twisted man, Briley listened to the phone ring on the other end. She sent up a quick prayer that Cheryl was still doing OK in her new life in New York.
“Bee! How’s it going on the road?”
“Hey, Cee.” Briley relaxed immediately at Cheryl’s cheery tone. “It’s good. I mean, I doubt I’ll ever really get rid of the leg cramps, but such is life, huh?”
“Well, at least you have company as you travel… and said company is damn easy on the eyes.”
“Sure is.” Briley glanced over at Dux and Drake; they were looking over at her, watching her to see if everything was OK, so she gave them a thumbs up. “They say hi.”
“And I sure as hell say ‘hi’ back,” Cheryl said. “So where are you guys now?”
“Pennsylvania.”
“You left New York two days ago – that seems slow. I mean, you got yourselves from Utah to me in less than three days, and that was with a man nursing a gunshot wound in the back seat. You taking your time?”
“Yeah, well, on that trip we pretty much drove from Utah flat-out for eighteen hours a day, with just a quick stop in Denver to drop off Ice, Viking, Elle and Violet. We had to get to you and help you get all set up, and we had to do it pronto. The thing is that I want to find a place to live as many states away from Utah as possible, and I’m really liking Pennsylvania, so we’re taking the scenic route westward bound. Kind of lazy meandering instead of break-neck sprinting.”
“Hey, if you decide to settle there, we’ll be neighbors. Don’t forget it’s only an hour by train from New York City to Philadelphia.”
Briley laughed. “Right? Though I have no plans to settle in a city… I’m thinking more a small town with a view of the mountains.”
“I guess your money would go farther in that kind of place, too.”
“For sure.” Briley stretched a bit, felt the blood flow fully return to her feet. “I heard from my property agent back in Utah this morning. After deducting all fees and taxes, she figures I’ll have about three-hundred-fifteen-thousand dollars hit my bank account in the next five to seven days to go house-hunting.”
Cheryl whistled. “Thank God you paid off the place five years ago, huh? Nothing to hand back to the bank at all.”
“Yeah. And also thank God I bought it in the middle of that massive housing crisis, back when people were underwater on those sub-prime mortgages and dumping properties as part of bankruptcy proceedings. It was a clusterfuck for so many people, but I got that place for just under ninety thousand and even back then , it was worth three times that. ”
“So that’s not a bad little nest egg, Bee.”
“I know, but like you say, that won’t buy too much in a big city.”
“It sure won’t get much in New York,” Cheryl said. “But I’m an eternal renter, so I’m doing pretty damn OK. Thanks to Wolf Connor, of course.”
Briley nodded, still utterly amazed that Wolf – a man who Cheryl had never laid eyes on – had deposited fifty-thousand dollars in Cheryl’s bank account after she’d run from her life back in Miami on short notice after Briley had called her to hide. Wolf had done so without being asked, and had been full-on offended when Cheryl had offered to set up a repayment plan.
“So – how are you really feeling?” Cheryl said. “I mean – after everything that went down at that nightmare compound?”
Briley sighed. “I really hoped to talk about you , Cee.”
“What’s to say? I love the apartment that you guys moved me into, I have a job interview on Monday, and thanks to a mystery man with the sexiest telephone voice ever named Wolf, I have a financial cushion until I get a steady paycheck.” She hesitated, then carried on. “So I’m good, but then again, I’m not the one who’s been through absolute hell for the past two years at the hands of a megalomaniac cult leader. I wasn’t forced to – to keep him happy in any and every way that he demanded so that my best friend was safe. I didn’t kill him ten days ago, even if he deserved that and much worse, the sick asshole. None of that was me… that was all you , Bee.”
“Listen, Cheryl –”
“Please, Briley. Please let me say this to you now, ‘cause God knows you didn’t give me the chance when you and Dux and Drake were here and helping me.”
Briley was silent for a few seconds, hearing the need in her dearest and oldest friend’s voice. “OK. I’m listening.”
“I love you, you know that, and I know that you promised to never tell anyone what happened with Trevor… I know that Gideon found out about me when he did all that digging into you , looking for something to blackmail you with.”
“He needed a local cop in Walton, near the compound,” Briley said quietly. “He was looking into everyone at the precinct, trying to find something on someone. He had to have one of us in his pocket to stay ahead of any trouble that might come the cult’s way. It just happened to be me that he leveraged in the end.”
“Because of me !” Cheryl exclaimed. “That sick fuck only had something on you because of what I did! And then what he did to you – the things he did to you – and I know that you haven’t told me even one percent of what happened. You’ve just talked in generalities and stayed all vague, but I know that he – he attacked you. He forced you to –”
“He’ll never touch me again.” Briley’s voice was steel. “Not me or anyone else. I saw to that.”
“But it’s all my fault! Every single thing that that monster did to you… it’s because of me. If I hadn’t covered up Trevor’s death, if I’d gone to the cops on my own after you refused to arrest me, if I’d just pleaded self-defence and taken my chances in court, then Gideon would have had nothing to hold over your head.” A sob broke from her throat now. “ God , Bee… you have to blame me and hate me on some level. You just have to.”
“No,” Briley cut her off. “Cheryl, no . I don’t. I never could.”
“How can you not ?”
“Because I’ve known you for twenty-eight years,” Briley said in a low voice. “And I know that the only reason you bashed Trevor’s head in that night was because he was bashing your head in, and it wasn’t the first time he’d done that. It wasn’t even the hundredth. I saw your face when I got to your house, remember, I saw what he’d done to you before you put him down like the feral dog that he was.”
“Briley –”
“I’m begging you, please don’t talk about this anymore. I can’t – I can’t keep going back over it all in my head, thinking about Gideon and the things he forced on me. I have to start to look forward, not behind me. If I don’t keep my eyes nailed on the horizon, I’m going to drown in the memories, and I can’t let him take one more thing from me. Do you understand what I mean?”
“I’m sorry,” Cheryl whispered. “I’m so sorry . If I could take everything back that he did to you, I would. I’d serve jail time for killing Trevor and us burying him in that quarry, and I’d do it standing on my head if it meant that Gideon never got his claws into you.”
“I know. It’s OK.” Briley gave a small laugh. “Well, it’s not OK yet… but it will be.”
Cheryl was quiet. “You’re the strongest person I know, Bee. You always have been. You’ve always stepped up and protected others, no matter the risk or cost to you. I’m lucky to have you as my friend. I just wish – I wish that you had an easier time being my friend.”
“It’s the easiest thing in the world, Cee,” Briley said simply. “I love being your friend and no part of that is a hardship.”
“I’m sorry for what you went through.”
Briley sighed. “Me too. But it kept you safe, and now you’re free to start again. Nobody will be able to hold Trevor’s mysterious disappearance over your head ever again, so that makes it worth it.”
“Are you free, too?”
“Not yet. I’m working on it.”
“So… Pennsylvania?”
Briley smiled and ran her hand through her thick blonde hair. “You know what? Yeah, I think so. I mean, why not? I’m in love with the mountains and I love being this close to you for weekend visits and Christmas, so maybe I should just go for it. I can find a nice town with views of the Appalachians, and I can look at some houses, maybe even have the guys help me settle in, if they don’t have to rush back to Denver and I find something that I love in my budget. I’ve spent the past two years fighting like hell just to get through the day on nerves and adrenaline, so maybe I can make things a bit easier on myself now.”
“You deserve some easy.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” She glanced over at the table and saw that the waitress was just bringing a tray of food. “Hey, listen, my lunch is here. I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?”
“Take care, Bee. Stay safe.”
“You know it. You too, Cee.”
Briley disconnected the burner and then suddenly, she felt absolutely exhausted. OK sure, what she’d said to Cheryl was totally true: for the past two years, she’d been stressed to the eyeballs worrying about keeping Cheryl safe from Gideon. Add the constant threats that he’d made that whole time, the sexual assaults that he’d carried out, the taunts and degrading words uttered by Gideon as he’d forced his cock into her mouth and her body, and she was stretched beyond endurance… and all of that was before she grappled with the more recent facts.
One fact was that she’d killed a man in cold blood, maybe more than one if any of the Guardians that she’d hit over the head on her way to rescue Iris/ Elle from the basement had actually died because of her actions. Another bunch of facts: she’d walked away from her job, she’d left her life in Walton, she’d sold her beloved house; she’d taken off in a van with a bunch of MC guys that she’d met the day before the grand assault in the Garden, she’d been complicit in everything that they’d done that night. Now here she was, seven states away from the scene of all the bloodshed and madness and chaos – and she was casually contemplating going house-hunting with two guys who were more or less strangers.
It all washed over her all at once, just how far she was from where she’d been less than two weeks ago. Yes, it was true that Gideon had been a fucking asshole who’d had it all coming, as had his cruel Guardians, and running away had been the only logical thing to do… but it was a lot to get past in a short period of time. It was a hell of a lot.
That was when it happened again, as it had happened so often over the past two years: without warning she was back in Gideon’s office, down on her knees, his hands gripping her head, his repulsive cock in her mouth or deep in her body, her gasping for breath as she choked and fought down bile.
She felt him in her, all around her; he was so huge and terrifying that he blocked out the sun, the air, the sky, the whole damn world. He’d so totally commanded her for so long, it felt like he’d become a part of her, a part that she despised and didn’t know how to cut out of her. He was like a cancer and she was beginning to think that she’d forever be afflicted with his malignancy.
When Briley looked up again, Dux and Drake were standing in front of her, wearing matching expressions of barely-concealed anger. It was one of the first times that she’d seen them angry – even that night at the Garden, they’d looked more focused than anything.
Now, though… now they looked furious and Briley wasn’t too far gone into her hazy fear to see how this totally kicked the hotness factor up about twenty-six notches apiece. Those eyes were a stormy dark blue, those full lips pressed together in set lines, those muscular bodies huge and hard and dangerous.
“What’s going on, babe?” Dux asked in a low tone. “What’s wrong with Cheryl?”
“Nothing,” she said in a small voice. “She’s fine, I promise.”
“So it’s you,” Drake said. “You look terrified, darlin’.”
“I – I do?”
“Damn right you do,” Dux said. “It was as clear as day from all the way across the room. What’s happened? What are you afraid of?”
“I – nothing,” she repeated. “I was just thinking about –”
She broke off now; she hadn’t told anyone except Cheryl about what Gideon had done to her, and she hadn’t said much even then. She was damned if she was going to share any of that hellish humiliation with the two sexiest men that she’d ever laid eyes on in the whole of her life. God knows what they thought of her as it was.
After all, they knew that she’d been cooperating with Gideon for years to keep Cheryl safe, and surely they had to be judging her about that, even a little bit. If they knew about how she’d allowed Gideon to fuck and use her – though ‘allowed’ was a misleading word in this particular context – they’d definitely see her as weak and pathetic. She saw herself that way, so why wouldn’t they?
They were still standing there, clearly waiting for her to continue, and Briley knew as sure as she knew her own name, they weren’t going to let it go. She scrambled around for something to say, and finally managed to choke out a few words:
“I was – was thinking about what I did.” She looked around, making sure that nobody was near them. “About shooting – shooting him .”
The men stood there staring down at her, matching expressions on those gorgeous faces, then without a word they looked at each other and did that eerie, silent communication thing that they so often did. She watched an entire conversation take place between them, then as one, they flicked those x-ray eyes back at her.
“Bullshit,” they said in unison, almost as a single voice.
She started. “What?”
“Yeah, no, babe,” Dux said. “That’s not what you were thinking about at all.”
“How did you know?” she faltered, then mentally kicked herself. “I mean –”
“Because you were lying through your damn teeth,” Drake said. “We can always tell.”
“You can? How?”
They shrugged those massive shoulders, their muscles rippling even with that small, careless movement.
“Dunno,” Dux said. “We just can. Now why are you lying to us, when you’re so clearly upset?”
“What were you really thinking about?” Drake asked. “No tall tales now. We’ll know if you’re being dishonest with us, so don’t even try it.”
She gazed up at them, fighting back the tears that had just risen out of the blue and after so long. God , what would it feel like to actually tell someone what had happened to her? She’d thought that she’d go to her grave keeping it to herself, and she’d just cope with the paralyzing nightmares and waves of dark memory alone. Briley didn’t think she’d ever have a healthy relationship again – not feeling the way that she did about sex.
No way any man gets that close to me… no way I ever allow myself to be that vulnerable .
The twins obviously saw it in her face now, and right away they turned surprisingly gentle; it was such a one-eighty from their default setting of jokey and irreverent that Briley was stunned. She was equally astonished to realize that without a word or even a movement, they made her feel completely protected, even safe. It was the first time that she’d felt that way since that horrible night that Gideon had shown up at her house at midnight and told Briley what he’d figured out about Cheryl killing her husband.
“Listen, darlin’,” Drake said quietly. “You can tell us anything, we promise.”
“I don’t think that I can,” she said. “You don’t know what I’ve done. Not really.”
“C’mon now,” his brother said in the exact same tone. “It’s OK. We got you, babe.”
She’d never know where the lightning bolt of courage – or recklessness – inside of her came from, but in that moment the only thing in this whole goddamn mess that made any sense at all was to level with them. Maybe in the back of her mind, she knew that in a matter of days, these two men would be driving off into the sunset, taking her worst secrets with them. She wouldn’t have to look at them for the rest of her life, or even this time next month, wouldn’t have to see the pity or disdain or disgust or judgement (or however they would react) ever again.
She had to tell someone; she’d burst if she didn’t. And who better than two someones whose presence in her life was on a ticking clock?
“Well.” She cleared her throat and looked down at her feet, avoiding those intense eyes that seemed to strip the flesh off her bones and see absolutely everything that she’d worked so hard to conceal. “The thing is that Gideon, he – he dug up something really bad that Cheryl did a long time ago, and he told me that if I didn’t do everything that he wanted, he’d turn her in to the cops. Then he’d turn me in for covering for her, so we’d both end up in jail. He blackmailed me with this two years ago, and the only way to make sure none of that happened was to – to keep him happy.” She hesitated. “He – he hurt me.”
Dux and Drake were totally still now as they heard far, far more than she was actually saying. They waited, knowing that she was gathering up her courage to say more.
“Every day, I had to go to the cult compound at some point. He didn’t – he wouldn’t force himself on me every single time but – but it happened three or four times a week.”
“Wait.” Dux’s voice was all the more menacing for being so quiet. “He raped you three or four times a week? For two fucking years ?”
“It wasn’t always full-on sex,” she said, slightly taken aback at him cutting straight through the crap and calling what Gideon had done to her what it actually was. “Sometimes it was – was just a blow job.”
“ Just a blow job?” Drake said. “Darlin’, if you didn’t choose anything that was going on, then there’s no ‘ just ’ about it. It was all rape.”
“Well…” She blinked. “I mean… I kind of chose it, if you think about it. I kept going back to the Garden, remember, knowing what would happen once I got there.”
“Nuh-uh, Briley.” Dux sounded furious again. “That’s all bullshit and you’d damn well better know it. You took what he was dishing out to keep your friend safe, but that doesn’t mean it was a choice . Why the fuck are you downplaying any of what happened to you?”
“I – I don’t know. I shouldn’t.” She bit her lip. “The truth is that I hate thinking about it, and I never talk about it.”
“Wait,” Drake said, catching on more fully to the horror. “Cheryl didn’t know what was going on?”
“No. I told Cheryl a bit while we were in New York, but I never breathed a word of it to her before then.”
“Jesus,” Dux said, running his hands through his dark hair. “So you two were talking about all of this on the phone just now?”
“Kind of. Cheryl said that Gideon wouldn’t have been able to manipulate me if she hadn’t messed up – she feels responsible for what he did to me and she apologized.”
“And that got you thinking about that two years, right?” Drake said. “Got your mind racing off in all kinds of bad directions?”
“Yes,” Briley whispered, tears prickling her eyes again. “Suddenly I was back there under him , totally helpless. All I could do to get through any of it was keep counting to ten in my head, over and over again, just counting and counting, trying to get out of my body until it was finally over. Standing here, I could actually feel his breath on my face, feel him inside me, feel him in my mouth. It just – it was like a shadow falling over me and it took my breath away.”
“It scared you,” Dux said. “It’s still scaring you, right?”
“Yes.” She paused. “Honestly, I think it always will. I think – I’m afraid that the damage might be permanent.”
“Nah,” Dux said gently. “You’re beaten around and bruised, babe, but no way you’re out for the count. You’ve got too much to give, too much goodness, too much going for you. You aren’t the type to lie down and die… you’re going to live . I know it.”
Drake smiled at her then, a soft, sweet smile and it was so different from his usual teasing, flirting grin. It was a smile that supported her and believed in her; it looked past all her self-loathing and guilt and saw her at her best. It was a smile of complete faith and generosity of spirit, and its shining beauty took her breath away all over again.
Took it away in a good way this time.
The first sob that escaped her throat took her by surprise; the second one made her panic. She didn’t think that she was going to do this in front of them, but the combination of those honest, heartfelt words and that achingly perfect smile just did her in. In a cloud of confusion and embarrassment, Briley lowered her head and turned away, stumbled towards the bathroom to have a full-on, ugly bawling session in private.
But the men were faster than she was; despite their daunting size, they moved like damn cheetahs.
Dux’s fingers that gently took her shoulders from behind were huge and strong, stopping her dead in her tracks. Before she could take full control of herself, she stiffened in fear. Right away, Drake stepped in front of her and held his hands came up in a ‘I come in peace’ gesture even as he towered over her.
“Whoa, Briley,” he said quietly. “Don’t be afraid. We know that pawing at you after what you just told us isn’t the best idea, but we don’t want you to go running off alone feeling the way that you do. You’ve got to believe that we’re not going to hurt you – not ever.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” she said and realized that she did , in fact, know that. “I was just startled. It’s been a long time since I was touched by a man who wasn’t… wasn’t him .”
The anger was back now, flashing in Drake’s astonishing blue eyes. She saw him look over her head at his brother and then nod; they’d clearly reached some kind of silent agreement.
“OK, so what do you need?” Dux asked behind her. She heard him move a bit closer and then he was rubbing her back in soothing circles. It felt shockingly good and she wondered why she was so relaxed under his touch. “Tell us, babe, and that’s what we’ll do. Anything at all.”
“I – I don’t –” The words caught in her throat. “I don’t know. I –”
And then, like an absolute blubbering moron, she was crying. She felt stupid and embarrassed and pathetic, but she’d been holding her emotions in for so long and she’d been so alone in what Gideon had been doing to her… and with these two almost-strangers, she felt like she’d just set down a heavy burden. Like they’d taken it from her hands, as quick as a blink and with no warning, and absorbed that weight into their own bodies – all her guilt, shame, fear, rage. She was sure that a large part of her crying was motivated by sheer fucking relief .
I feel semi-alive again… It’s over. It’s really really over .
“Aw, hell, darlin’.” Drake stepped forward and so slowly, so carefully, giving her time to see what he was doing, he reached for her and took her in those massive arms. “Come here. Let us hold you.”
Her mind had barely registered the word ‘us’ when she felt Dux behind her again, closer now. His arms snaked around her waist and he pressed his huge frame against her trembling back. He lowered his lips to her shoulder, and she felt his breath on her skin.
And suddenly she was in a dark corner of the restaurant, sandwiched between two muscular, gorgeous men, feeling like she’d always been there. It was odd how comfortably and easily her body just fit with theirs, how this all felt so familiar and somehow absolutely right .
“Let it go Briley,” Dux murmured; his breath ruffled her hair and she shivered. “Nobody here but us.”
“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I never cry, and I mean never . I feel so goddamn dumb .”
“Nuh-uh.” Drake’s voice rumbled against her flushed cheek. “Nothing dumb about feeling, darlin’. Nothing at all.”
And that was it ; that was when the floodgates opened. To hell with being strong, and solitary, and scared. Here – in this little cocoon of muscles and breaths and heartbeats – Briley finally did exactly what Dux told her: she let it all go.
She only stayed where she was for a minute, but it was the sixty seconds that changed everything for her, changed the whole rest of her life. She didn’t know that at the time – well, none of them did, naturally, because we so rarely see things as utterly life-changing when we’re actually in them – but even so, she knew that something had changed. She felt different: understood and heard and supported.
She felt safe.
And seeing as she’d just vowed to never let another man touch her, not ever and not for anything, the fact that she was being touched by not one but by two men was a shock. Being here between them and feeling secure was astonishing. When she considered just who she was nestled between – two huge, strong men, men who were undoubtedly shady as fuck with their MC loyalties – her feeling protected was nothing short of a little miracle.
Briley had never believed in miracles, not before now.
After a minute of having her entire world tilt on its axis, she pulled back. Just a bit, just to see if they’d let her go. When both sets of arms tightened, she almost sighed with pleasure: she could stay for a bit longer. God knows, she wanted to… but some small part of her brain was thinking about how this might look to someone walking past. That was when she knew that this little trip to hot man heaven was over.
“Your burgers are going to be stone cold,” she said, her words muffled against Drake’s incredible chest. “We should get back to the table.”
“Quiet, babe.” Dux’s voice was a growl, warm and sweet on the back of her neck. “We don’t give a crap, you hear me? All that matters to us is that you’re OK.”
“I’m OK.” She sighed, felt her body release the last of the fear that had surrounded her just a few minutes before. “I really am.”
Without a word, Drake lifted her chin to look at her, those dark-blue eyes intent and focused.He searched her face and Briley felt like he was just stripping away flesh, that he was somehow actually seeing her every thought and emotion. Clearly, whatever he saw satisfied him, because he looked back at his brother and gave a tiny nod.
Immediately, in perfect sync, the men stepped back and away. Briley was surprised at how cold and small and alone she suddenly felt, but she shook it off as the three of them trooped back to their table.
After all, this whole weird situation was just a temporary arrangement, and Drake and Dux would soon be out of her life completely and forever, back to being devastatingly hot and sexy in Denver.
For the first time, it occurred to her that she was actually a bit sad about that.
It’ll pass, though. For sure.