Chapter Two.
D id you enjoy your coffee break? Perhaps you had a cup of tea?
Whatever you had, I see you are still here. Personally, I had coffee a la blood. A bit naughty, but surely, you were not expecting anything different from little old me? Don’t be so judgy.
Such a delightful expression, easily bandied around, isn’t it? You’ve no idea of the real value of the word judgemental, but I shall show you.
It is simple to caffeinate a human and then drink from the vein. I gain the hit of caffeine as well as sustenance. I could be dreary and have a cup of coffee, and I did occasionally. However, one must offer a little pizazz, or you’d get bored! And I can’t allow that, can I? Not now I’ve got your attention.
How easy it was to slip from my abode, buy someone a cup of coffee and sip from his wrist? Effortless , I tell you.
Let’s return to Kaltos.
Life was simple, as I stated. Sometimes, we would build in the morning and play in the afternoon. We’d either go to the sea or sunbathe or spend all day playing. Picnics were a favourite pastime, or we’d help neighbours gather the harvest in exchange for a meal and a drink.
Inka and I planned to be united when our home was built. To show we were pledged, we wore silver bracelets embellished with gold. When we were formally joined, we would wear bracelets of gold decorated with silver. Simple, isn’t it? I did not lie when I claimed life was perfectly and absolutely effortless.
One afternoon, we’d finished laying what would be the bedroom floor, and with it being hot, we were lounging about on the grass under the shade of a huge oak. I remembered that day. It is ingrained in my memory, in my very DNA.
That was the day we volunteered for the Great Experiment.
Inka and Emil were sitting with the babies. Mera and Pal were relaxing on the grass. Tobais and I were discussing where Maurick was, as he hadn’t arrived that morning.
Kait and Pari were wrestling, egged on by the girls and the children.
Then, there was a thunder of hooves, and Maurick appeared riding wildly. He reined the horse in and jumped off.
I glanced up, concerned, as Maurick’s behaviour was uncharacteristically erratic, given his usual methodical nature. I was even more surprised when Maurick came running up with a big grin.
“Jacques! We need to talk!” Maurick cried in excitement.
I laughed and threw an arm around his shoulder.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes, you’re not going to guess what I’ve done!”
“Oh, ho!” Kait joined the conversation. “What young lady got you in trouble?”
“You are not going to believe me.” Maurick grinned, his strange actions having finally caught the attention of the others.
They all crowded round, asking what Maurick had achieved, all of a similar mind to Kait.
Maurick’s next action was one of the most shocking experiences of my entire existence. He threw back his head and chuckled. That’s all, Maurick simply… laughed. Nothing too drastic, I hear you say. But you forget I’d known this man all my life and never had I seen him do this.
Laughter was so out of character. I wondered if he’d been drinking, but there was no alcohol smell. Maurick’s obvious excitement was catching.
“What’ve you discovered?” Kait asked. “How we see? We know that already.”
“Maybe our DNA is degrading, and we’re going to turn into mushy piles of jelly!” Pari countered.
“You are so disgusting,” Emil chided, punching Pari’s arm.
“Of course Pari is,” Maurick replied through laughter. “How about discovering the genetics that determine how many children we have?”
Suddenly, Maurick’s eyes were very intense.
“Oh?” Pal said, and I guessed Pal was thinking the same.
“You’re serious,” I muttered, grabbing Maurick.
“Isn’t it marvellous!” That wasn’t a question; that was a statement.
“Genetic tampering,” Inka whispered.
“You shouldn’t even be mentioning that,” Emil added.
Genetic engineering was banned in our society. During our last war, horrible things had been done, and monsters had been created. Following the war’s end, all biological material was completely destroyed, leading to a ban on conducting experiments. The penalty was death. You would not be allowed to explain yourself. Quite simply, you would be killed.
“Does The Core know?” Tobais asked.
“Naturally, we’ve been investigating this for years. Everyone, not just me. The risk is worth it. We’re going to the council. We assume they’ll allow us to go ahead. The promise of children is too significant to restrict the testing.”
I must explain here what Maurick meant.
Kaltons couldn’t have babies when we wanted. Women were only fertile twice in their life. In their entire lifetime, that was the only two chances they got to create a child. The problem was nobody knew when a woman would experience the Phase, as we called it. A female might have her first at the tender age of ten and the second at eleven.
Or she might have the first at ten and the next at four hundred and twenty. Clearly, her age was unsuitable on both occasions, too young or too old. Sadly, it was a virtual potluck. Inka and I were lucky the first Phase happened at the age of twenty-two. As were Emil and Pari.
Unfortunately, some couples would never birth children, and many waited for a woman’s Phase that would never come. It was a cruel and nasty fact of life. Due to the genetic taboo, the idea Maurick announced had never crossed our minds.
The first Phase did offer a warning. Beforehand, the lady experienced backache and headache for a couple of days, and on the fertile day, there was a small amount of blood. You then had only twelve hours to decide. Fortunately, when a man ejaculated, the woman became pregnant immediately. You didn’t have to keep trying.
The second Phase had no warning signs. All you got was a show of blood, and once again, you had the twelve hours. Because of this, Kaltos did not prosper. The land could’ve held millions of individuals and all that lived on it was just under one million.
“We’ve finally found the gene that will allow us to regulate the Phase,” Maurick said, grinning his satisfaction. “We might be able to twist it to let young childless couples begin having the Phase again.”
Mera leaned forward, hunger clear on her face. “Those who’ve experienced one or both Phases may have a chance?” she demanded.
“Yes, we hope to regulate those who’ve only had one Phase. Those who had both may need further experimentation, but I and the others believe it is possible to restart them.”
Mera stepped back, looking thoughtful, but the hunger hadn’t disappeared.
Pal glanced at her and then gave Maurick his full attention. “Why are you telling us this?”
“Because we require test subjects.”
“And you ask your best friends!” I exclaimed, “Maurick, this is something that you’d ask your worst enemy to do.”
“What if something goes wrong?” Tobais asked. He had remained mainly silent, taking it all in and thinking things over.
“Pah, I have run and re-run the simulations over and over again. Nothing will fail. Are you aware that over half the population can’t have children? At the moment, it’s too late for them, but we can possibly do something about it. We don’t plan to do this in secret.
“The majority of The Core is currently informing the council. Should we reach an agreement, the public shall be informed. However, the subjects will be anonymous. The Core is also rounding up their friends and family. Both sexes are required for the serum to be effective. Both genders require gene modification,” Maurick explained.
“A lab rat,” sighed Kait. “Go on, Maurick, put my name down.”
“Kait!” Pari and I exclaimed together.
“Oh, come on, what happens if I fall in love with someone and she’s had both Phases? Then what? You two were lucky, I might not be.”
Damn, I’d never realised that Kait thought like that. Kait had just seemed the typical playboy.
“Agreed, I volunteer too,” Tobais stated.
Now, I turned to Tobias with shock written clearly over my face. “You, you…” I stuttered, trying to gather my thoughts.
“Kait’s right. That scenario might easily apply to me,” Tobias elaborated.
“Maurick, I’ll do it too,” Mera offered.
It was Pal’s turn to stare in horror. “This may be dangerous.”
“There is no danger involved…” Maurick broke off and began studying his nails as Pal glared viciously.
“Maurick, you can’t be sure,” Pal replied darkly, and Maurick retreated a step, much to my amusement. “Mera, you are not doing it.”
“This is my decision, and I choose to volunteer,” Mera responded softly.
Mera was obstinate but not as stubborn as Pal. Pal’s expression set, and we all knew that meant trouble.
“Pal, I’ve already had the first Phase,” Mera whispered.
“What? When?” Pal’s face went pale as total silence greeted that statement, and Mera chewed on her bottom lip. “You didn’t tell me.”
“The blasted thing happened when I was eight. Too young, of course, to start breeding. We always hoped that my second would come along just as quick.” Mera shrugged.
“I’m in,” Pal announced, wrapping Mera up to hold her tightly.
“Me too,” Inka murmured. “I want a big family.”
I smiled. Before you ask, yes, I do have three sisters and a twin brother. Multiple births were fairly common. My sisters were triplets. That’s how Kaltos survived as a race.
“Count me in, too, Maurick,” I agreed.
Inka would not do this without my support.
“Us too,” Emil spoke for her and Pari.
◆◆◆
Now, I wish I had never accepted and listened to my gut. But I never denied Inka anything. If I’d said no, the others might have changed their minds.
I regret not backing Pal up and putting a stop to this, but I didn’t, and recriminations are too late. Regrets should remain in the past, yet when I recall my son, my little Mihal, regret remains prominent to this very day. Along with emotions that should have faded.
Telling this tale brings them all to the fore again. Bitterness at being denied a proper death. Obviously, I don’t mean that I want to die. But I would like to know for definite if there is such a thing as today’s modern Heaven and Hell. Was there a different plane of existence as we believed? I’m bitter that my life was ruined for a pathetic reason. This life, I wouldn’t give up, but it wasn’t meant to be this.
Vam’pirs should not exist.
Pal and Mera were the true victims; their one great chance, and they were cruelly denied it. Logically, we should have asked for proof of the tests, but would we have been given it? I feel so betrayed and torn in two, even now.
Once I’d gained immortality, I wouldn’t give it up. Yet when I was mortal, I never wanted nor dreamed of having it. Perhaps I’m a little like a circus freak. I should be caged and studied under the microscopes of today.
Actually… try to cage me, and I’ll pluck your bloody eyes out and swallow them raw.
But our faith in Maurick was so rock solid, we didn’t expect betrayal from him. Deception from a friend is unexpected, and to make it worse, Maurick was one of us. The level of treachery shows that we meant nothing to him except an experiment to his perversity.
Well, trust me, we rapidly found out who we could depend on: only ourselves. Yet even I have betrayed my friends in little ways that would seem silly to you, the human reader, but to my kind, they were heinous.
Narrating this book is a breach of faith. See how I draw the curious eye of humans to Vam’pirs?
But you’ll not believe this story. Most of the readers will assume it’s a good piece of fiction (hopefully) that someone with a vivid imagination has created. I write the truth, and there is nothing I can do to prove it.
Returning to betrayal… isn’t that a sweet word? Just say it a couple of times. Roll it around your tongue. The term can hold a wealth of meaning on various levels. And that is exactly how we were betrayed in a thousand different ways.
My main emotion after all these centuries is one of great sadness.
Maurick denied us all a chance of a normal life. Sometimes, I lay awake considering what might have been, not often, I admit. Haven’t I lived a life that thousands, millions would envy?
Immortality. Just to say it. Is it not tempting? Oh, I know it is, and if I offered it, would you be able to refuse? Nuh huh.
Generously, I would give you a choice.
We were given none. Nobody who took part had a chance. Lab rats, indeed.
Thank you, Maurick, for teaching all of us the sweet art of betrayal. This, from your so-called best friend.
◆◆◆
The news of the Great Experiment, as it was dubbed, broke two weeks later. The council had agreed it was a good idea, and it was well worth breaking one of Kaltos’s most holy laws—although the council decreed it was to be the only exception.
Maurick visited the day it was announced and told us we would be going into the Medical Centre the following morning.
Kaltos buzzed with anticipation. The air crackled with excitement and expectation. The identities of those placing community over personal needs were the subject of much discussion. So many childless couples praised us for our role in it. It was hard not to brag.
Honestly, I must admit that my group did get quite a few queries about whether we were taking part, but we kept our lips sealed. Everything in the lead-up was positive. Remember that, because I do.
My father had guessed, though, and so had Inka’s mother, and both of them supported us one hundred per cent. Unequivocally offering their full support. Truthfully, I expected this from my parents. After all, I was the favourite, and Inka anticipated the same treatment from hers, which made their later betrayal all the more difficult to cope with.
It was a great shock, the lengths they were prepared to go to, and Inka was their only child. There were a few people who said that we shouldn’t meddle with genetics, and I understood their point. But by this time, I found myself caught up in the excitement and my former misgivings forgotten. We were never given a chance to think too long or move past the initial excitement.
The day soon passed, and that evening, we left Mihal with my father. Inka and I spent the night under the stars, just lying in each other’s arms and planning what we would call our next few children.
◆◆◆
What a joke of a dream that turned into.
I have often wondered if I have displeased the Creator in some way. A life so full of indulgence must have been painfully sinful, but I enjoyed it.
Oh yes, I did enjoy it, and perhaps the Creator had punished me for such sins. If this was meant to be a punishment, it is poor by anyone’s standards. I have disciplined people who have crossed me, and I have been very creative in doing so. Ask Maurick, although you’ll have to speak to him through a clairvoyant.
Ah, I had claimed revenge for all of us.
Bastard .
Forgiveness is not an acceptable word where Maurick is concerned. If I was able, I would torture Maurick a thousand times over. Make him suffer as much as possible and then torment him more. If Maurick begged for mercy, I would repeat my actions again.
Whoever said revenge isn’t sweet lied. Vengeance is tasty, but it does make you thirst to punish the sinner even more.
When I’m in Hell, I will find you, Maurick. Sadly, I don’t know if you can read in Hell, but I’ll hunt you down. That I swear.
Enough… I feel my anger rising.
Let me tell you of the events I rant and rave about.
◆◆◆
On the morning of the Great Experiment, we rose and met the others before making our way to the Medical Centre. Our region’s Medical Centre was a large rectangular-shaped building, one storey high, with an underground laboratory. That was where the experiment would happen.
Like all the other buildings in Kaltos, it was built of stone, with a flat glass roof and big windows to let the maximum amount of sunlight in.
Our group arrived together to meet Maurick and the Core. Everybody had already received a medical check-up over the last month. There was no need to wait in reception.
Quietly, made our way down the steps into the underground lab. There, rows of beds awaited us, nice and tidy with crisp sheets. Next to each bed were two monitors, one for the brain functions and the other for monitoring vital signs. The entire scenario was a daunting sight.
The walls were painted an austere white, and a quick count showed that the beds were laid out into five rows of twenty. There were to be one hundred of us attempting this experiment. There were bright lights shining above each bed, and this, combined with the walls, almost made the room unbearable.
I’d never really liked Medical Centres, and this one was no different.
Unnerved, I found myself searching for Inka’s hand.
Inka grasped it with a reassuring squeeze. This was to be our future, I had to remind myself.
There were about two hundred health professionals milling about, and they were mostly nurses. There were hardly any doctors present. I counted about twelve. Not many, considering the number of volunteers. This gave my confidence a twinge.
Inka didn’t help when she asked, “Aren’t those beds the bottom of the stasis chambers?”
She was right. Concerned, I glanced around and spotted Maurick standing with a pad, checking something.
“Maurick!” I called, and he waved and came over.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” Maurick said, grinning.
I wasn’t in the mood to be placated. Something was wrong, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Why were the stasis chambers out? They were mostly used when there was no cure for an illness. People were cryogenically frozen until a remedy was discovered.
Mainly, they were used when someone was so badly injured that they were in danger of dying. The patient would be placed in stasis so the doctors could slowly heal them over a period of time.
I’m certain you can understand my confusions and worry over this.
“Why are they out?” I indicated the chambers by nodding.
Maurick followed my gaze.
“Oh, it’s nothing to be concerned about. They are there as a precaution. The council demanded this concession of us to protect you in case anything goes wrong. Nothing will, of course,” he said smugly.
Worried, I narrowed my eyes.
Maurick laughed, throwing his arms around me before strolling off to speak to someone who had just walked in.
Curiously, I looked to see if there was anyone that I recognised. I dimly remember being shocked at seeing Eduardo, a serious man of about one hundred and fifty. It was strange to see him, and it was commonly understood that his interest was men. Same-sex relationships were quite common in Kaltos, and we didn’t have a problem with them as mankind does. Love is love.
Eduardo didn’t have a wife. Everybody accepted he was gay, although nobody knew for definite. I saw a few other people I recognised by sight when, all of a sudden, I felt a grip on my arm.
And a cheerful baritone rumbled, “Might have guessed you lot would be here somewhere.”
“D’vid!” I exclaimed, my mood brightening instantaneously.
“When did you return home? And what are you doing here?” Pari demanded, grabbing D’vid in a bear hug.
“About a week ago. The moment I stepped into my father’s villa, there was Claudias bleating about this wonderful experiment he had created—”
“Oh, Claudias created it, did he? Nothing about the hard work the rest of us put in,” Maurick cut in, overhearing the conversation, and walked away, searching out the unlucky Claudias.
“Scientists are so touchy, don’t you think?” D’vid asked with a smile.
It was a well-known fact around the province that D’vid and Claudias were abrasive to one another. D’vid took any chance possible of riling his rather lofty sibling.
Claudias was too interested in science and was boring and tedious. Everyone avoided Claudias unless you thought along the same wavelength as him. D’vid, in contrast, was lively, boisterous, amicable, and far from tedious. There were also twenty-five years between the two brothers. Claudias was fifty-one, and D’vid twenty-six.
“Well,” D’vid continued, “there was Claudias bleating, Father gloating, and Mother doing her ‘I’m so proud of my firstborn’ act. And there I stood, tired, dirty, and hungry. To say I wasn’t too impressed was a slight understatement.”
“And you put your foot right in it,” Mera guessed.
“Yes, straight into the shit, as usual. After sneering and throwing my cloak at him, I told him actually to be useful and make me a hot tea. Mother cried out in disbelief and stormed off. Father demanded to know what I thought of the wonderful thing my brother had created.
“Jacques, to hear them speak… Apparently, Claudias created this all by himself, and the others were just lab assistants. Seriously, when Claudias told me, I was shocked. My brother, dull, miserable Claudias, had helped develop this? It was laughable how full of themselves they were. Picture it. All of them puffed up with their own self-importance and me lounging across the seating cushions, travel stained and hungry.”
“What happened after you laughed?” Tobais asked, scratching his head.
D’vid’s parents were a mystery to him (as they were to most of us). We all near enough had loving parents. Considering we thought that D’vid was wonderful, we couldn’t understand his parent’s attitude.
“The usual. Father sneered, Mother looked disappointed, and Claudias became superior. Hadn’t he done something amazing? Smug little git. As always, I was the wastrel, as I’d done nothing noteworthy in life. ‘A useless waste of time and effort,’ as my father always says. True, you know.”
D’vid shrugged to show that it didn’t bother him. He had listened to the same crap growing up.
“I couldn’t really care less. Someday, I will grow up and settle down and be the model son,” D’vid ended mockingly. “Claudias isn’t likely to spawn children.”
“Don’t ever. I love you just the way you are,” Kait said, kissing D’vid full on the lips.
“I adore you too. If only you were a girl, we’d make the perfect couple. Forever and forever,” D’vid teased with a sigh.
Everyone laughed.
“So, I decided to shock my parents and volunteer for the experiment. They were quiet for just a moment. Then father began complaining about me finding a new excuse to avoid work.
“Tired of their sniping, I said to forget it when Claudias jumped up and asked if I meant it or would I back out tomorrow. I declared I meant it, and that if he wanted me, then I would do it for him. Claudias swore it would mean a lot of him if I did.
“Strangely, that was the first time that he ever paid sincere attention to me. It doesn’t make sense. Claudias has hated me his entire life, and now I’m his favourite brother. I feel that I have been manoeuvred into something.”
D’vid fell silent into his own thoughts and kick-started my own misgivings again.
Before I could act on them or discuss them with the others, Maurick was there, urging us to our beds.
“I’ve placed you and Pari together, Emil.” Maurick said, “Obviously, Jacques and Inka are together, the same as Pal and Mera. Kait, I have put you and D’vid next to each other. Tobais, you’re next to them. I’m really getting worried about you two,” Maurick directed the last remark at Kait and D’vid, who were busy blowing kisses at each other.
The carefree atmosphere masked the trouble to come.
Carefully, I helped Inka to settle onto her bed, and then I clambered up mine. My misgivings started again as I lay there staring at the top of the stasis chamber and taking deep breaths to calm myself. A nurse put a drip into my arm, and then I was strapped down.
The stasis chambers came with three big thick bands that close over the body to hold it in place. I remembered telling myself that it was just a precautionary measure, but that wasn’t helping. To try and relax myself, I glanced towards Inka only to find my view obscured by a nurse. I growled in protest, but the idiot didn’t move, so I looked back up at the ceiling.
They added another IV line, connecting me to the monitors. I tried to occupy my mind with thoughts of what Inka and I had talked about last night, but they had gone. They had deserted me, my non-existent children.
Suddenly, Maurick appeared over me, holding a syringe full of an amber fluid. He gave it a quick spray to remove any air bubbles.
“Maurick, let me up,” I cried for some unknown reason. I wasn’t sure why, maybe my danger sense was kicking in.
Panicked, I started to struggle as several people began to demand the same. Something was seriously wrong. I was unsure how I’d guessed, but I had, and here we all were, tied down with no hope of escape.
My blood froze.
“Jacques,” Inka gasped.
“Let me up!” I yelled, but Maurick seemed oblivious.
Panic set in harder.
“Now Jacques, it’s just a little needle, such a small prick. This won’t hurt at all.”
Fully aware of the danger, I couldn’t comprehend that it came from Maurick. I had known him my entire life. This, by the blood of the Creator, was Maurick! What was happening?
“Emil!” I heard Pari scream, “No!”
Terrified, I turned my head and gasped in shock as I saw a stasis chamber begin to lower over the bed, where Emil lay pale and lifeless.
“Maurick, what have you done?” I cried as people began to shriek and cry out in alarm or pain.
A babble of voices rose in an increasing clamour. It was hard to distinguish one from another. I struggled so hard that I drew blood. Maurick watched, fascinated. The needle came closer.
“Immortality, Jacques. Is it not tempting? Is it not what men long for? What we all want?” Maurick muttered, his eyes becoming glazed.
“Immortality?” I screeched, hurting my throat. You know that sense of impending disaster? Yes, well, I had it.
“Jacques! I’m sorry that you don’t understand. But this must be. The council forbid us to tamper and holds us hostage to their own fears. This won’t hurt. Honest. When it’s all over, tell me what you experienced. Explain what you thought; I must record it all.”
“Maurick!” I cried. “You are mad; release me this instant. What the Hell do you think you’re doing?”
Then, my heart skipped a beat.
A terrified scream erupted from my right side. Inka! Oh, sweet Creator, not my Inka.
Abruptly, I was free and sitting up.
Pandemonium erupted around me.
“Jacques’s loose!” Maurick screamed, struggling to hold me down. With a mighty push, I sent him sprawling across the room.
There was a sickening thud as his head connected with the wall, but I didn’t consciously pay any attention to him.
My horrified eyes had found Inka, and my brain was desperately telling me not to believe what I was seeing.
Inka remained strapped down and was trying to pull her legs up to her chest. Vomit dripped down her face, and she became sick once more in front of me. Inka’s bladder had burst, and there was excrement all over the bottom of the bed.
She was whimpering and twisting in obvious pain.
I froze, and as I did, there was a sharp jab in my arm.
I pulled away, but too late.
The serum had been injected into me. That didn’t matter. My world had shrunk to Inka and what was happening. Blood streamed from her ears and eyes and poured from her mouth and legs.
Inka was dying, that much was clear, and I was helpless to rescue her. I willingly let them tie me to the bed again, my mind numb with the horror. Luckily, I had managed to blank the worst from my head; I think we all have.
“Maurick?” I heard somebody ask.
“He’s fine. Let’s get him into a chamber,” someone answered.
“You can’t—”
“Of course I can. Now give me the needle, or I’ll inject you, too.”
I recognised the voice. Claudias.
Betrayal.
You, too, Maurick, have been betrayed.
All around me, I heard screams and cries of suffering and torment. However, it didn’t matter; it seemed like only Inka and I existed. In vain, I watched as her body performed its last death throes.
Inka turned her head to face me, and all I could see were huge blue eyes filled with agony. When she comes to mind, those memories resurface. Full of pain and imminent death. Full of love for Mihal and me. Inka understood, as we all did, that she was dying.
Betrayed by our own people. Deceived by our well-known friend.
I told you that I loved words and especially betrayal. It has so many meanings. Handicapped by our trust and helplessness. I could continue, but I’m sure you would grow bored.
Returning to the death of our innocence…
As I stared into Inka’s eyes, I saw her wince one last time as a great pain sliced into her. Inka bit her lip so hard to stop herself from screaming that she drew blood.
She arched her back and started thrashing about the bed. Her wrists began to bleed, and Inka released a final scream as her head lolled towards me. Then life fled her beautiful eyes.
Inka had died.
As I struggled to understand, the stasis chamber lowered and cut my view of her off.
“I love you, Inka,” I sobbed out, tears streaming down my face.
As I remember all this, it causes me to cry.
Since I’d left Kaltos, I made myself forget her death, and this opens the emotional wounds back up. The image of Inka’s demise haunts me despite the passage of time.
Inka was dead, so young and so beautiful, she had been snuffed out for a perverse git’s pleasure.
Did her life flash before her eyes? I don’t know. I’ve never asked. None of us Original Vam’pir’s have ever talked about our ‘Deaths.’ We all wish to forget. Another reason to kill me for writing this book—and dragging out all the bad memories we all have.
As Inka died, my death began.
My muscle control over my bladder and bowels relaxed themselves, and they emptied. I was past all caring by now; I wanted to curl up and die.
A searing shaft of pain shot through my abdomen. I didn’t fight or cry out. After all, my life had just been ripped apart.
Completely destroyed.
Inka was dead.
Yes, I still had my amazing son, who grew into an oh-so-wonderful man who totally hates the sight of me now. The last time I saw Mihal, he wouldn’t even look my way, so I told him to get the hell out of London or I would kill him.
Mihal envies me. He loathed me when I first refused him immortality and has hated me ever since.
When my body started heaving again, I did not fight, and I don’t know if not fighting made my death worse or easier.
Vomit ran down my face, but it didn’t matter.
Death is horrible; there is nothing wonderful about dying. I could distinguish Kait screaming for Pari and Emil, and I shut him out.
Tobais retched, and I just couldn’t be bothered. Mera screamed that Pal was dead, and I could not even drum up sympathy.
“Nasty little bastard,” I hear you say. Yes, these were my friends and I’m sure they all experienced the same as me. Nothing mattered anymore.
Pain shot up my back, such agony I had never known. Cramps abounded in my stomach, and although empty, I still retched. Pain like heartburn shot through me, and there was an acidic taste in my mouth, and then, just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did.
For all those mothers reading this, do you remember your labour pain?
Yes? This was undeniably far more painful. It felt as if someone was pulling all the nerve endings out of my body and setting a match to them.
I screamed and yelled, and nothing happened. My body moved of its own violation, twisting and turning, and this time, there was no getting free. I yearned for death to take me, yet this continued endlessly.
How had my beautiful Inka withstood this?
I experienced a rising of rage, but my anger was inconsequential. I was going to die, and nothing could stop it. The blood rushed to my head as it emptied out of my ears and eyes like Inka’s had.
It pumped out of my mouth, and yet the agony carried on. Not lessening and unrelenting. I had screamed myself hoarse and only managing to lie there whimpering in pain.
Then I died.